Divorce and Remariage

Chad4Him · Jan 3, 2019

amadeus2 said:
@TheTruthWithin37
Sounds good, but remember that what happened before we met Jesus should be included in our repentance. Once God has forgiven us, do we not have a clean slate? For instance if both partners to a marriage married when neither one of them knew the Lord, we would have a different situation from the one where both partners knew the Lord at the time of marriage.

I gladly leave these situations to God to judge (where perhaps someone has married and divorced without knowing the Lord, and then is married again and becomes a believer, or wants to get remarried in the Lord).

The only situation I can actually affect is my own, and I intend to stay with my wife "until death do us part". :smile:

No prenup for me.

Chad · Jan 3, 2019

I think this article sums it up nicely.

I am divorced. Can I remarry according to the Bible?

Question: "I am divorced. Can I remarry according to the Bible?"

Answer: We often receive questions like “I am divorced for such and such a reason. Can I get remarried?” “I have been divorced twice—the first for adultery by my spouse, the second for incompatibility. I am dating a man who has been divorced three times—the first for incompatibility, the second for adultery on his part, the third for adultery on his wife’s part. Can we get married to each other?” Questions like these are very difficult to answer because the Bible does not go into great detail regarding the various scenarios for remarriage after a divorce.

What we can know for sure is that it is God’s plan for a married couple to stay married as long as both spouses are alive (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:6). The only specific allowance for remarriage after a divorce is for adultery (Matthew 19:9), and even this is debated among Christians. Another possibility is desertion—when an unbelieving spouse leaves a believing spouse (1 Corinthians 7:12–15). This passage, though, does not specifically address remarriage, only being bound to stay in a marriage. Instances of physical, sexual, or severe emotional abuse would be sufficient cause for separation, but the Bible does not speak of these sins in the context of divorce or remarriage.

We know two things for sure. God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16), and God is merciful and forgiving. Every divorce is a result of sin, either on the part of one spouse or both. Does God forgive divorce? Absolutely! Divorce is no less forgivable than any other sin. Forgiveness of all sins is available through faith in Jesus Christ (Matthew 26:28; Ephesians 1:7). If God forgives the sin of divorce, does that mean you are free to remarry? Not necessarily. God sometimes calls people to remain single (1 Corinthians 7:7-8). Being single should not be viewed as a curse or punishment, but as an opportunity to serve God wholeheartedly (1 Corinthians 7:32-36). God’s Word does tell us, though, that it is better to marry than to burn with passion (1 Corinthians 7:9). Perhaps this sometimes applies to remarriage after a divorce.

So, can you or should you get remarried? We cannot answer that question. Ultimately, that is between you, your potential spouse, and, most importantly, God. The only advice we can give is for you to pray to God for wisdom regarding what He would have you do (James 1:5). Pray with an open mind and genuinely ask the Lord to place His desires on your heart (Psalm 37:4). Seek the Lord’s will (Proverbs 3:5-6) and follow His leading.

I am divorced. Can I remarry according to the Bible?

amadeus2 · Jan 4, 2019

Chad4Him said:
I gladly leave these situations to God to judge (where perhaps someone has married and divorced without knowing the Lord, and then is married again and becomes a believer, or wants to get remarried in the Lord).

The only situation I can actually affect is my own, and I intend to stay with my wife "until death do us part". :smile:

No prenup for me.

Yes, that is the best way. Early in my own marriage, my wife and I were about to part ways in spite of the two children that already bound us together. Then God called both of us to Him. We were married in 1972. We met the Lord in 1976. We celebrated our 46th anniversary last May. Give God the glory!

newname · Aug 26, 2019

TheTruthWithin37 said:
Jesus is the standard, so NO MATTER WHAT we have to look at what HE thinks about marriage and how it should go. Say for example if I'm married, I leave my wife and find a "new" one; even though I don't know that Jesus doesn't like it; it's still the overall truth. So when I find out about how he thinks I need to return to my first wife or stay single. Of course if we don't know that teaching until the day we die and live a sincere/loving life I think we'll be okay with God; but in this day and age with all the technology we have that's hard.

What if she's remarried and has a bunch of kids? I just asked Jesus what to do. He said: marry Me. Time is short. They were marrying and giving into marriage.

B-A-C · Aug 28, 2019

newname said:
What if she's remarried and has a bunch of kids? I just asked Jesus what to do. He said: marry Me. Time is short. They were marrying and giving into marriage.

That verse doesn't say there is anything with marriage. It simply says some were getting married.

1 Tim 4:1; But the Spirit explicitly says that in later times some will fall away from the faith, paying attention to deceitful spirits and doctrines of demons,
1 Tim 4:2; by means of the hypocrisy of liars seared in their own conscience as with a branding iron,
1 Tim 4:3; men who forbid marriage and advocate abstaining from foods which God has created to be gratefully shared in by those who believe and know the truth.

newname · Aug 29, 2019

B-A-C said:
That verse doesn't say there is anything with marriage. It simply says some were getting married.

1 Tim 4:1; But the Spirit explicitly says that in later times some will fall away from the faith, paying attention to deceitful spirits and doctrines of demons,
1 Tim 4:2; by means of the hypocrisy of liars seared in their own conscience as with a branding iron,
1 Tim 4:3; men who forbid marriage and advocate abstaining from foods which God has created to be gratefully shared in by those who believe and know the truth.

Yes I don't say marriage is bad.
I just asked for myself what He wanted me to do and although the sentence is neutral, like eating and drinking, also the sons of God married who they wanted and it would be like the times of Noah.

Brother-Paul · Aug 29, 2019

Is it not true that we belong to God or we belong to the devil?

If we are born again we have accepted 'The Word' repented and been born again.

Those who are not God's belong to 'Sin, The World and the Devil' They do what the world does not what God's and The Word says.

Murders, thieves, drunkards, abusers, coveters, adulterers, etc.

But when we come to Jesus to be Saved and repent from the heart accepting Him as our saviour, our slate is 'Wiped Clean'

I had underage sex when I was under age myself, I did not know it was wrong, I did not stick to one female, I got married, had children, it broke up. I was still playing the field and saw nothing wrong in it. The 1960's was free sex, wild parties, etc, I was just joining the worldly band wagon at the time. I was divorced, I eventually married again, which meant sex outside marriage again, I married a person who had also been married and divorced, this made me an adulterer, it also made her an adulterer.

Today I cringe when I hear the young generation say 'this is what our generation does'. This statement comes from the celebrities but the young ones thing they can do anything, just like we did when we were lost souls in the explosion of free sex, the pill period.

But both my wife and myself were DEAD, we didn't belong to God, we belonged to sin, the world and the devil. We were sinners that wouldn't accept we were sinners, Murders, thieves, drunkards, abusers, coveters, adulterers, etc. All sinners, all lost until saved.

My wife and myself have now been married 44 years, I came to the Lord 30 years ago, my slate was wiped clean at that point, I belong to God and although I accept I am a sinner am not a murderer, thief, drunkard, coverer, adulterer, etc. My wife has taken until this last year to come to the Lord and by doing so her slate is also wiped clean.

There are hundreds of different circumstances people find themselves in due to temptation or rejecting God, rejecting His one and only son who died for our sins, we are lost, we are dead in sin, until we are born again. We belong to sin, the world and the devil, until we are born again. At such time our slate is wiped clean and as Jesus says we are to resist the devil and sin no more.

Once we accept Jesus as our saviour, we accept The Word, we are bound by The Word, we will be judged by The Word as Saved believers, but if we are not Saved, we still belong to sin, the world and the devil, our sins are piled high, as scarlet, only when we are saved are we washed in His Blood, only when our sins are removed can the spirit dwell in us, that is when we are Saved, until then we are lost souls, dead to sin.

Peace be with you.

newname · Aug 29, 2019

Lily Miller said:
Okay an example;

@TheTruthWithin37 is my Husband, and he cheats on me, and I want a divorce because he is still continuing his relationship with the woman he cheated on me with. So you're saying that I can remarry because I am not the one who caused the adultery. But he cannot because he cheated on me?

I do not see where you are getting that out of these verses...

Matthew 5:31-32

Matthew 19:6-12

1 Corinthians 7:8-12

All of these to me are saying if they divorce because of marital unfaithfulness then that is fine, but neither of them have a chance at getting remarried because they have their one and only husband/wife, who they should always be with.

2 Corinthians 6:14 -- This is not just for the married who are not "equally yoked" this is literally talking about everyone, and I say this because it does not just say "to those who are married". So I can apply this to my mom, my dad, my best friend, my aunt Trudy, you, anyone... It's not just about a spouse, I think if it was, Jesus would have said it, not Paul. Paul is not who saves us, it is Jesus.

Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding."

We must trust Jesus, and that is what I am trying to do, not Paul, not John, not anyone, just Jesus.

My uncle was married. He came home and found his wife in bed w someone else. Turned out she slept w a lot of guys. One kid was not even his. He divorced and remarried a christian woman he got from God. God divorced Israel for adultery and remarried. I see nothing wrong with it. If she had totally repented later, I don't see why she couldn't remarry. But for example someone runs off with his nanny, says sorry God and marries her. I believe that is adultery. You can't just say sorry and go on with that sin. Now if he would really repent, he can't go back to his first wife. I don't think it's sin if he then marries someone else. Then the sin is done away. I think. I'm not sure, that's why I just asked what He wanted for me and He said: don't remarry someone. It's no use anyway. Extra burden. Another guy with a bunch of rules for the kids who doesn't love them.
There was one real christian guy who was interested. Never married. Never had kids. He was great. Wanted to go to a service together. I said: no. I'm not gonna ruin your life. Find someone without kids and without an ex. My ex is still the dad. He makes the rules. If he moves, you can quit your job and move to, else I can't see my kids. Run boy lol.

Brother-Paul · Aug 29, 2019

As far as scripture is concerned, we are dead to sin if we are not saved.

If we are saved we are no longer tied to sin, the world and the devil, we are adopted in to God's family and accept The Word, and follow The Word in all we do.

At the point of being Saved, being born-again, ALL out past sins are forgiven and remembered by God no more.

From the point of becoming a new creation, being born-again, we are to follow Jesus and resist the devil and aim to sin no more.

Example lifelines

Person 1 _______________________BA________________________________________________

Person 2 ________BA_____________________________________________________

Person 3 _____________________________________________BA_____________________

Each person is BA, Born Again at a different age, the age they repented and accepted Jesus as their personal saviour.

In each case the red area, the area before being Saved is when they belonged to Sin, the World and the devil

When they are Saved, BA, Born Again, ALL past sins are wiped clean, from then on we are following Jesus and the Commandments and commands of God.

From being BA, all God's rules apply, we are not to commit adultery, steal, covet etc. The rules Jesus gives about divorce apply.

Sex outside marriage, between man and woman is a sin, adultery is a sin, adultery can also be committed by looking at another person with sexual thoughts!

Jesus tells us...

Matthew 5:27-28 (NKJV)
27 "You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not commit adultery.'
28 But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

This applies man looking at a woman and woman looking at a man with sexual thoughts.

Homosexuality, Lesbianism and other sexual activities are all Sin in God's eyes and we will be accountable for them.

newname · Aug 29, 2019

Brother-Paul said:
As far as scripture is concerned, we are dead to sin if we are not saved.

If we are saved we are no longer tied to sin, the world and the devil, we are adopted in to God's family and accept The Word, and follow The Word in all we do.

At the point of being Saved, being born-again, ALL out past sins are forgiven and remembered by God no more.

From the point of becoming a new creation, being born-again, we are to follow Jesus and resist the devil and aim to sin no more.

Example lifelines

Person 1 _______________________BA________________________________________________

Person 2 ________BA_____________________________________________________

Person 3 _____________________________________________BA_____________________

Each person is BA, Born Again at a different age, the age they repented and accepted Jesus as their personal saviour.

In each case the red area, the area before being Saved is when they belonged to Sin, the World and the devil

When they are Saved, BA, Born Again, ALL past sins are wiped clean, from then on we are following Jesus and the Commandments and commands of God.

From being BA, all God's rules apply, we are not to commit adultery, steal, covet etc. The rules Jesus gives about divorce apply.

Sex outside marriage, between man and woman is a sin, adultery is a sin, adultery can also be committed by looking at another person with sexual thoughts!

Jesus tells us...

Matthew 5:27-28 (NKJV)
27 "You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not commit adultery.'
28 But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

This applies man looking at a woman and woman looking at a man with sexual thoughts.

Homosexuality, Lesbianism and other sexual activities are all Sin in God's eyes and we will be accountable for them.

Why do ppl make such a split between saved and not saved? Before you get saved you can have 1000 partners, marry 18 times, say sorry. Whoop sins gone. But when you are saved and just 1 partner, marry and then the other chats with someone else and you get crazy and backslide and are totally deceived and remarry and then wake up and convert again, you can't marry anymore. That's weird. My first pastor said that but he was just divorced and remarried. Ah that didn't count, cause then he was not saved. That's easy for him. Sure preach that it's sin, but don't keep looking at someone who came back like it's an adulterer. Those sins are gone too.

Brother-Paul · Aug 29, 2019

newname said:
Why do ppl make such a split between saved and not saved?

Because scripture is clear, if we belong to sin, the world and the devil we sin and don't bother or give a damn, we do it and think it is right, your choice or funny.

But when we accept Christ, and realise what He went though for our sins, the spirit convicts us of our sins, we want forgiveness, we receive it through Jesus and do not want to sin again. I have never done any of things mentioned since I accepted Jesus, I don't look at other women, if one flashes more than she should, bends down etc, I immediately look the other way. I hate TV when cameras go down to the crutch, I look away, in fact I do not watch much TV at all, it is all sex, violence, killing, I don't want any of it.

When we accept Jesus we put him on and wrap ourselves in his love.

Isaiah 61:10
10 I delight greatly in the LORD; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.

2 Corinthians 5:21
21 God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Matthew 5:6
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

Brother-Paul · Aug 29, 2019

newname said:
Before you get saved you can have 1000 partners, marry 18 times, say sorry. Whoop sins gone. But when you are saved and just 1 partner, marry and then the other chats with someone else and you get crazy and backslide and are totally deceived and remarry and then wake up and convert again, you can't marry anymore.

No my friend, marriage is based on love and trust. If you respond to the situation you mention, in the way you have said, you are letting the devil inflict fear upon you.

newname · Aug 29, 2019

Brother-Paul said:
No my friend, marriage is based on love and trust. If you respond to the situation you mention, in the way you have said, you are letting the devil inflict fear upon you.

?
I don't believe it's sin that my ex is now married and his wife is nice. She's sweet to the kids. If he had married that woman that broke up our marriage it would have been sin, but now not. I believe it's just forgiven and let's move on.

newname · Aug 29, 2019

Brother-Paul said:
Because scripture is clear, if we belong to sin, the world and the devil we sin and don't bother or give a damn, we do it and think it is right, your choice or funny.

But when we accept Christ, and realise what He went though for our sins, the spirit convicts us of our sins, we want forgiveness, we receive it through Jesus and do not want to sin again. I have never done any of things mentioned since I accepted Jesus, I don't look at other women, if one flashes more than she should, bends down etc, I immediately look the other way. I hate TV when cameras go down to the crutch, I look away, in fact I do not watch much TV at all, it is all sex, violence, killing, I don't want any of it.

When we accept Jesus we put him on and wrap ourselves in his love.

Isaiah 61:10
10 I delight greatly in the LORD; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.

2 Corinthians 5:21
21 God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Matthew 5:6
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

Yes of course, but if someone backslid it's the same as when you were not saved. Sin is gone. Lets just live for Jesus now and not fish in a sea where its forbidden to fish.

Brother-Paul · Aug 29, 2019

I cannot reply my friend, not knowing all the facts for you, your ex, your ex's new partner. It would be wrong of me to even try. I wouldn't do so.

All I can do is as I have done, explain scripture for the lost soul, the lost soul up to being saved, and the Saved believer and how The Word explains each situation.

Bless you.

newname · Aug 29, 2019

It would be sin for him to divorce her and it would be sin for us to marry according to Leviticus. The land will spit you out. So that's why I don't believe it's adultery. He doesn't sin against me. We're no longer bound. In the O.T. we would have been stoned. Now we can die with Christ.

KingJ · Aug 30, 2019

Brother-Paul said:
Is it not true that we belong to God or we belong to the devil?

If we are born again we have accepted 'The Word' repented and been born again.

Those who are not God's belong to 'Sin, The World and the Devil' They do what the world does not what God's and The Word says.

Murders, thieves, drunkards, abusers, coveters, adulterers, etc.

But when we come to Jesus to be Saved and repent from the heart accepting Him as our saviour, our slate is 'Wiped Clean'

I had underage sex when I was under age myself, I did not know it was wrong, I did not stick to one female, I got married, had children, it broke up. I was still playing the field and saw nothing wrong in it. The 1960's was free sex, wild parties, etc, I was just joining the worldly band wagon at the time. I was divorced, I eventually married again, which meant sex outside marriage again, I married a person who had also been married and divorced, this made me an adulterer, it also made her an adulterer.

Today I cringe when I hear the young generation say 'this is what our generation does'. This statement comes from the celebrities but the young ones thing they can do anything, just like we did when we were lost souls in the explosion of free sex, the pill period.

But both my wife and myself were DEAD, we didn't belong to God, we belonged to sin, the world and the devil. We were sinners that wouldn't accept we were sinners, Murders, thieves, drunkards, abusers, coveters, adulterers, etc. All sinners, all lost until saved.

My wife and myself have now been married 44 years, I came to the Lord 30 years ago, my slate was wiped clean at that point, I belong to God and although I accept I am a sinner am not a murderer, thief, drunkard, coverer, adulterer, etc. My wife has taken until this last year to come to the Lord and by doing so her slate is also wiped clean.

There are hundreds of different circumstances people find themselves in due to temptation or rejecting God, rejecting His one and only son who died for our sins, we are lost, we are dead in sin, until we are born again. We belong to sin, the world and the devil, until we are born again. At such time our slate is wiped clean and as Jesus says we are to resist the devil and sin no more.

Once we accept Jesus as our saviour, we accept The Word, we are bound by The Word, we will be judged by The Word as Saved believers, but if we are not Saved, we still belong to sin, the world and the devil, our sins are piled high, as scarlet, only when we are saved are we washed in His Blood, only when our sins are removed can the spirit dwell in us, that is when we are Saved, until then we are lost souls, dead to sin.

Peace be with you.

This is amazing Brother Paul, thanks for sharing.

KingJ · Aug 30, 2019

newname said:
?
I don't believe it's sin that my ex is now married and his wife is nice. She's sweet to the kids. If he had married that woman that broke up our marriage it would have been sin, but now not. I believe it's just forgiven and let's move on.

Your ex can repent and move on. It is all about that repentance though. A person who repents tries to the best of their ability to make right with those they hurt.

newname · Aug 30, 2019

KingJ said:
Your ex can repent and move on. It is all about that repentance though. A person who repents tries to the best of their ability to make right with those they hurt.

Yes well we did that. I just said sorry first and then he said he was sorry. I couldn't forgive him at first. I just chose to, like Corrie ten Boom did. We let the devil use us to ruin each other. I ruined him too. He always complained that other women were so much better and I said: well then take someone else! And then I saw him totally unhappy with some woman and was like: that was a curse I spoke out over him, so I broke it. Lol this woman is just as neat as him. Every dust speck gets cleaned. Let them have fun with it. I am so happy I can leave my mess and nobody cares. Tomorrow is a great day to clean it. Every week we had a fight about cleanness and then we had forgiven each other and I wanted to start a clean up company with him. Glad I didn't LOL. Dumbest idea ever.

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