14yr old is soooo quiet....

[smitties09]

I dont know if im just an overly worried mum or there really is something not right with my 14yr old son. He is so quiet. Everytime we speak to him everything is good or no or yes. He never has anyone around or never goes to hang out with any others his own age. He's a lovely boy with a good heart. He does have interests eg music and sport. Am I just over reacting.

 

[faithfulservant]

How is he doing academically? If he isn't behind, I wouldn't worry about it. Can he utilize language skills writing? Can he read grade appropriate material? If so, he's just a quiet kid. In this day and age that does stand out, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Way too many kids are obnoxious, precocious, and aggressive these days. They all want to be the center of attention.

 

[Giggles4God]

My half brother has always been pretty quiet. I wouldn't worry to much unless his grades are low or he gets in trouble a lot at school.

Even my husband can be quiet. If he doesn't have anything to say, he won't, but when he does talk I listen.

Hopefully, he'll let you know if something is bothering him.

 

[Peace Seeker]

If he is reasonably is well-adjusted and positive in personality his quietness is nothing to worry about. Being quiet is not a bad thing, especially when considering how most youth these days are so full of themselves and need to be the center of attention all the time.

As the saying goes, still waters run deep! So he may be quiet simply because he is always thinking and has a reflective and searching mind. Plus being a teenager is not an easy thing to go through!
And quiet people tend to be considered by others as trustworthy, honest, reliable, nice and even "safe", none of which are bad traits at all. I'd take quiet and trustworthy over brash and arrogant any day!!

 

[farout]

Having had 4 teen agers and and 5 grandkids in teenagehood keep your eyes open and check up on him a lot. You should know what he is doing when he is alone. Most 14 year old boys do spend time pleasuring themself. Spending too much time alone might mean he is pretty involved that. It never hurts to go and check out his room when he is at school, look for mens magizines etc. Does he have a computer in his room and is it connected to the web? Even if he is doing nothing at all put a filter on the computer he uses, protect him from ****!

Do not be so sure that he is so above from slipping into things that are harmful. Many a parent has missed the depression that thought was just being a quiet child. The deepest confession I have heard is from parents that were grieving the death of a child that took their life. As a pastor I have seen this or heard the parents cry of deep emotional pain in not believing they mistook just being quiet when the child was so depressed.

I am not saying your boy is this way, but be alert and check often and become close to him and show a respect and love to know where he is at.

May God guide you in the teenage years and give you wisdom.

 

[smitties09]

thanks everyone for you're replies, they have been very encouraging and helpfull. He is doing really well in his grades and is always above average. He enjoys sports and loves to go out when he can with his youth group. He never pushes himself to meet new people and is a boy of very few words. Its pretty hard to communicate with him as its always yep & no. Maybe Im just over worrying about nothing. I will certainly keep my eye on him and his grades.

god bless everyone x:friends:

 

[Christ4Ever]

Sounds like my son at that age! In fact, now he's 22 and still pretty much is the same

If I remember right, which is a just a couple minutes ago over the phone, when you ask a question, it's "yes", "no", "yeah", "I don't know" etc....a young man of few words. You wouldn't know it, but he's the one who called me!!!! More interested in technology, and now has one friend whose a thousand miles away from him. (He's in the military now.)

Keep him in prayer, and continue to ask him questions. The wife gets frustrated with him because, it would be easier to get water out of a rock then two words in a sentence. Keep at it and don't show your frustration. Ask how school is, what he teachers are saying, etc. Everything you want to know about and nothing he wants to talk about. Just keep reassuring him, that if he ever needs to talk no matter what it is, that you're there for him. Then kiss him on the top of the head if he's not already taller then you, and tell him that you love him. A kiss from mom, melts the hardest heart and communicates love like no words can. Include a hug, but not all the time, because, he'll start worrying about you

Hard thing to do, since we are preparing them to be out on their own, is to start letting go. Just keep up with your attempts at maintaining communication even if it only seems one way. Don't worry kids are very much like sponges, and remember it all (Most times. He's a boy).
Hope this helps a little, and always remember you have God on your side! Keep him covered in prayers.
YBIC
C4E

 

[peeps40]

I dont know if im just an overly worried mum or there really is something not right with my 14yr old son. He is so quiet. Everytime we speak to him everything is good or no or yes. He never has anyone around or never goes to hang out with any others his own age. He's a lovely boy with a good heart. He does have interests eg music and sport. Am I just over reacting.

Hey <3

how is your 15/16 year old now???

Our son is 19 and is a quiet person with a loving heart, not necessarly sharing it though ;-)
All through the years starting with 14/15 we have tried with patience and Gods grace to make the curve to an open relationship with him,
seeing more and more pulling back, spending time in his room. . .
We started getting educated about his character and found out that he is very introverted, a lot of good information helped our frustration to learn about God created him
and how WE can approach him easier than more desperate/helpless trying. . .
Sooo. . .if you wanna google up some info on google, the net is full of GOOD advice as well, hope it helps you and your son*shine*, you might find things like this:

1. Introverted kids energize by being alone. . .some people unwind and recharge by connecting with a group of friends or going out. . .not so with introverts.
When they have had a busy, stimulating or stressful day. . .they need alone time. . .not DOWN time. . .as in low-key get together at home with fam or friends. . .but alone time, its a NEED.

2. Introverted kids don't like small talk, this does not mean they are shy, it means they like to skip meaningless chitchat and just stick to the important stuff, they like to develop a relationship with someone, before they talk about important things.

3. Introverted kids process their feelings internally. . .you may not be aware of what a child is feeling because they do not wear their emotions on their sleeve.

4. Introverted kids prefer play dates to play groups, one on one encounters allow people to get to know each other more deeply, which is the kind of interaction introverts crave, they avoid large crowds where the can as well, restaurant visits, theme parks, group activities outside their regular routine in school, church, sports. . .

5. Introverted kids enjoy activities, that allow their minds to wander. . .think, pretend, creative, solving problems, day dream. . .reading, writing, sketching, jump rope, rollerskating, fishing, painting, bike riding, gardening, swimming, hiking, swinging, climbing, puzzles and so on. . .

Hope any of this helped <3