ChristianConsFurryGuy
Member
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2019
- Messages
- 58
The following is something I wrote that I can only explain was from the Holy Spirit. Though I do not claim to be writing scripture, the narrative of this still brought me to tears as I wrote it. I hope that the story will also convict you as you read this and know the true depth of Jesus' love.
In a waking dream, I found myself climbing up a hill, the sun hot upon my head and sweat all about my body. My back and shoulders ached as a large weight was strapped to my back, wearing me down as I trudged up the rocky knoll. The more I trekked up this hill the more my burden grew, until I was practically crawling up the slope.
Once I had reached the top of the hill, I beheld a strange sight. There at the top of the hill stood a wooden cross. The weathered wood was caked in blood and on the ends and the base was a single heavy metal stake embedded.
This cross I knew well in my heart and I felt the agony of my burden even more now than ever. The burden was my guilt and sin, weighing me down with every effort to keep myself upright. As I stared at the cross, the ground beneath me started to give way and I found myself sinking. Though I resisted at first, I felt the ground bury me, I soon gave in and let the earth take me into its embrace. My heart gave in to despair and as the earth swallowed me, I fell deeper into utter darkness. This, I thought, was my lot in life – to give in to my sin and accept my death – and thus did I allow the darkness to take me into everlasting torment.
But then did the darkness explode into light and I was blinded by the sudden illumination. I felt hands reaching out to me, grabbing me and pulling me out. Someone was coming to save me, but why? As the hands clutched at me and pulled me out of the dark, I felt the warmth in my bones and was carried off into the light.
It was hard to imagine where I was now, but I woke to see myself on a cliffside. I felt my burden grow easy as I stood, but it was still upon me. Here I saw a light so caustic, that it took me a very long time before I could see. What I heard however, was different.
As if from a distance, I could hear music and singing in a language I never heard before. The music was beautiful and yet distant. I could finally see the clouds about me were covering up something above me and I could only see vague shapes.
“Where am I?” I asked no one in particular.
Suddenly the clouds parted and I beheld a sight my mind could barely grasp. High above me I saw angels of titanic size, so large that they almost enveloped the sky. They were singing the strange song and their voice now encircled me and threatened to deafen me. The angels were like polished bronze and they had three sets of wings. As I could barely discern them in the bright light, I could see other creatures, singing before a massive golden throne. There on the throne sat one who I could not tell for certain, for the light that was the source of my blindness came from him.
From the throne, I beheld the being and I could feel its stare upon me. I fell upon my face, my limbs and body itself devoid of any strength. The burden on my back felt like a boulder and I could only lay there crushed by its weight.
“My child.” A voice spoke from the figure on the throne, “I bid thee, rise.”
“Forgive me.” I struggled to say, “But I can't...I have no strength.”
Then a figure came in front of me and his body shielded me from the light above. Hands reached down to help me up and strength returned to my limbs. As I stood, I beheld a man, but not a man, for though he was a bearded man, he didn't strike me as beautiful; yet, his face showed me a look of compassion and grace that I had never seen before.
“Who...are you?” I asked him.
“You know who I am.” The man said and he took my hands in his. I was astonished by his hands, rough and worn like someone who worked with those hands a lot. It was then that I saw something that shook me to my very core.
There on his wrists lay a single gaping hole, pierced all the way through to the other side. I reached out a finger and touched the hole, then gasped in disbelief.
“Your hands!” I exclaimed, shocked at the sight. I then felt my body tremble. Sorrow clutched at my chest as if a clawed hand reached out and clenched inside my heart. “It's you...”
“As you have said.” The man replied. My knees gave out and I fell in front of the man a lump thick and heavy formed in my throat, my hands still grasping his wrists. More claws reached into my body and I could feel the black despair and grief grip my soul as I stood in the presence of Jesus. My heart tried to beat but it felt tight in my chest, the clawed hand grasping at me ever harder. My mind raced about, remembering all the wickedness I had done in my life, even the ones I never recalled doing until now. Grief enveloped me and I felt my tears run down my cheeks salty and hot.
Voices echoed around me as I heard the multitudes of people crying out. I could not drown them out and soon I could hear my own voice calling out as well.
“CRUCIFY HIM! CRUCIFY HIM!” My own voice echoed the same words though I tried to stop the demands.
I then heard the dull clang of a metal hammer, striking down on something thick and metallic, followed by a man's scream in pain. Pulling away from Jesus, I felt my own hand. There I looked down and saw a crude metal hammer and a blood stained metal stake in the other.
“NO!” I cried as I flung the hammer and nail away. Though they vanished into nothing, I looked down and saw the blood of my savior still on my palms.
Try as I might, I could not wipe off the blood, but it instead spread to my arms and my legs. I could smell the coppery scent on my nostrils and soon realized that the blood was also upon my face.
“NOOOO!” I wailed and looked up at Jesus. He simply watched me, his eyes full of sorrow, and it only made my heart clench in pain. I looked down at my hands, saw the blood dripping from my palms before collapsing in front of him.
“Im so sorry!” Sobs worked their way out of my tightened throat as I uttered the same words over and over. “I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I did this to you!” I clenched my fists as I screamed.
Again, I fell my face before Jesus and wept uncontrollably. Jesus stood there and did nothing as I cried for the longest time, each time struggling to apologize to him over and over.
“It should have been me!” I said as tears streamed down my face and blurred my vision. “It was my punishment! You shouldn't have had to die for me! It should have been me!”
How long did I cry at his feet I don't remember, but I soon grew weak with fatigue but not from grief. My voice grew hoarse as I tried to say I was sorry, but soon I could speak no more and could only cough and wheeze in my misery.
When I had cried before my savior and spent the last of my strength, I felt his hands on my back. I could not move, not even to flinch away as he rested his palm on my back.
“And yet, I did die for you.” He said with words so soothing, they only made me feel the claws dig deeper into my heart.
“You shouldn't have had to...” was all I could say in a voice like gravel.
“My child.” Jesus spoke, “From the beginning, I knew you. Before all that was, I knew who you would become. From the time that existance itself breathed its first, I knew all that you were. Because of this, I knew what I had to do.”
I felt his hand upon me and he lifted my head to see his face through tear stained eyes. The look on his face was one of love and comfort, and the next words struck me harder than any blow I ever took.
Tears I didnt know I had left came out again and before I could stop myself, I reached out to embrace my savior, burying my blood soaked face in his chest.
“I don't deserve your mercy!” I said bitterly.
“But I desired it.” he replied.
“I'm a sinner! I have wronged you! I am not worthy!” I pleaded with the Word of God.
Again, he reached down and pulled my face to see his, this time his face was stern, “Never say that again. You are mine. I bought you with a price, because I deemed you worthy.”
How could I refuse him? I hugged him tighter and cried, “Thank you.” I said, muffled into his chest.
His hands reached up and stroked and kissed the top of my head. “It was the father's will that I pay the price for the sins of the world. I have paid that price and if I needed to, I would do it again.” He pulled my face to lock eyes with mine, “That is how much I and the Father love you.”
“Forgive me...Jesus.”
Jesus smiled, “It is done. Your sins are already forgiven.” He then reached behind me to grasp the straps of my burden, “Now, it is time for you to do the same.”
Immediately, the burden that weighed me down fell off of me and vanished over the side of the cliff. The claws in my soul released their hold and my body flooded with light. I felt the world grow brighter and my body seemed to lift off the ground. Embraced in the warm light of God, I knew my sins were gone forever.
As if a veil had been on my face, the world around me grew clearer. Blue sky was in front of me and the angels, taller than any mountain stood and looked down with smiling countenances. They continued to sing and suddenly the language was revealed to me. My body renewed and strength filling my being, I began to sing with them. My voice was restored and I glowed with an inner light as songs of praise to my God echoed through heaven.
My sins were gone, lost and forgotten. And I beheld myself as a new creation in Christ. I had been born again.
Now and forever, I would be his child, and he would be my master. Taking away my sins, I would serve my God and my Savior forever more and when it came time for me to pass on from my old life, I knew I would see him again face-to-face, and dwell with him for eternity.
In a waking dream, I found myself climbing up a hill, the sun hot upon my head and sweat all about my body. My back and shoulders ached as a large weight was strapped to my back, wearing me down as I trudged up the rocky knoll. The more I trekked up this hill the more my burden grew, until I was practically crawling up the slope.
Once I had reached the top of the hill, I beheld a strange sight. There at the top of the hill stood a wooden cross. The weathered wood was caked in blood and on the ends and the base was a single heavy metal stake embedded.
This cross I knew well in my heart and I felt the agony of my burden even more now than ever. The burden was my guilt and sin, weighing me down with every effort to keep myself upright. As I stared at the cross, the ground beneath me started to give way and I found myself sinking. Though I resisted at first, I felt the ground bury me, I soon gave in and let the earth take me into its embrace. My heart gave in to despair and as the earth swallowed me, I fell deeper into utter darkness. This, I thought, was my lot in life – to give in to my sin and accept my death – and thus did I allow the darkness to take me into everlasting torment.
But then did the darkness explode into light and I was blinded by the sudden illumination. I felt hands reaching out to me, grabbing me and pulling me out. Someone was coming to save me, but why? As the hands clutched at me and pulled me out of the dark, I felt the warmth in my bones and was carried off into the light.
It was hard to imagine where I was now, but I woke to see myself on a cliffside. I felt my burden grow easy as I stood, but it was still upon me. Here I saw a light so caustic, that it took me a very long time before I could see. What I heard however, was different.
As if from a distance, I could hear music and singing in a language I never heard before. The music was beautiful and yet distant. I could finally see the clouds about me were covering up something above me and I could only see vague shapes.
“Where am I?” I asked no one in particular.
Suddenly the clouds parted and I beheld a sight my mind could barely grasp. High above me I saw angels of titanic size, so large that they almost enveloped the sky. They were singing the strange song and their voice now encircled me and threatened to deafen me. The angels were like polished bronze and they had three sets of wings. As I could barely discern them in the bright light, I could see other creatures, singing before a massive golden throne. There on the throne sat one who I could not tell for certain, for the light that was the source of my blindness came from him.
From the throne, I beheld the being and I could feel its stare upon me. I fell upon my face, my limbs and body itself devoid of any strength. The burden on my back felt like a boulder and I could only lay there crushed by its weight.
“My child.” A voice spoke from the figure on the throne, “I bid thee, rise.”
“Forgive me.” I struggled to say, “But I can't...I have no strength.”
Then a figure came in front of me and his body shielded me from the light above. Hands reached down to help me up and strength returned to my limbs. As I stood, I beheld a man, but not a man, for though he was a bearded man, he didn't strike me as beautiful; yet, his face showed me a look of compassion and grace that I had never seen before.
“Who...are you?” I asked him.
“You know who I am.” The man said and he took my hands in his. I was astonished by his hands, rough and worn like someone who worked with those hands a lot. It was then that I saw something that shook me to my very core.
There on his wrists lay a single gaping hole, pierced all the way through to the other side. I reached out a finger and touched the hole, then gasped in disbelief.
“Your hands!” I exclaimed, shocked at the sight. I then felt my body tremble. Sorrow clutched at my chest as if a clawed hand reached out and clenched inside my heart. “It's you...”
“As you have said.” The man replied. My knees gave out and I fell in front of the man a lump thick and heavy formed in my throat, my hands still grasping his wrists. More claws reached into my body and I could feel the black despair and grief grip my soul as I stood in the presence of Jesus. My heart tried to beat but it felt tight in my chest, the clawed hand grasping at me ever harder. My mind raced about, remembering all the wickedness I had done in my life, even the ones I never recalled doing until now. Grief enveloped me and I felt my tears run down my cheeks salty and hot.
“CRUCIFY HIM! CRUCIFY HIM!”
Voices echoed around me as I heard the multitudes of people crying out. I could not drown them out and soon I could hear my own voice calling out as well.
“CRUCIFY HIM! CRUCIFY HIM!” My own voice echoed the same words though I tried to stop the demands.
No...
I then heard the dull clang of a metal hammer, striking down on something thick and metallic, followed by a man's scream in pain. Pulling away from Jesus, I felt my own hand. There I looked down and saw a crude metal hammer and a blood stained metal stake in the other.
“NO!” I cried as I flung the hammer and nail away. Though they vanished into nothing, I looked down and saw the blood of my savior still on my palms.
“NO!”
Try as I might, I could not wipe off the blood, but it instead spread to my arms and my legs. I could smell the coppery scent on my nostrils and soon realized that the blood was also upon my face.
“NOOOO!” I wailed and looked up at Jesus. He simply watched me, his eyes full of sorrow, and it only made my heart clench in pain. I looked down at my hands, saw the blood dripping from my palms before collapsing in front of him.
“Im so sorry!” Sobs worked their way out of my tightened throat as I uttered the same words over and over. “I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I did this to you!” I clenched my fists as I screamed.
“I killed you!”
Again, I fell my face before Jesus and wept uncontrollably. Jesus stood there and did nothing as I cried for the longest time, each time struggling to apologize to him over and over.
“It should have been me!” I said as tears streamed down my face and blurred my vision. “It was my punishment! You shouldn't have had to die for me! It should have been me!”
How long did I cry at his feet I don't remember, but I soon grew weak with fatigue but not from grief. My voice grew hoarse as I tried to say I was sorry, but soon I could speak no more and could only cough and wheeze in my misery.
When I had cried before my savior and spent the last of my strength, I felt his hands on my back. I could not move, not even to flinch away as he rested his palm on my back.
“And yet, I did die for you.” He said with words so soothing, they only made me feel the claws dig deeper into my heart.
“You shouldn't have had to...” was all I could say in a voice like gravel.
“My child.” Jesus spoke, “From the beginning, I knew you. Before all that was, I knew who you would become. From the time that existance itself breathed its first, I knew all that you were. Because of this, I knew what I had to do.”
I felt his hand upon me and he lifted my head to see his face through tear stained eyes. The look on his face was one of love and comfort, and the next words struck me harder than any blow I ever took.
“Because before all that was – I loved you.”
Tears I didnt know I had left came out again and before I could stop myself, I reached out to embrace my savior, burying my blood soaked face in his chest.
“I don't deserve your mercy!” I said bitterly.
“But I desired it.” he replied.
“I'm a sinner! I have wronged you! I am not worthy!” I pleaded with the Word of God.
Again, he reached down and pulled my face to see his, this time his face was stern, “Never say that again. You are mine. I bought you with a price, because I deemed you worthy.”
How could I refuse him? I hugged him tighter and cried, “Thank you.” I said, muffled into his chest.
His hands reached up and stroked and kissed the top of my head. “It was the father's will that I pay the price for the sins of the world. I have paid that price and if I needed to, I would do it again.” He pulled my face to lock eyes with mine, “That is how much I and the Father love you.”
“Forgive me...Jesus.”
Jesus smiled, “It is done. Your sins are already forgiven.” He then reached behind me to grasp the straps of my burden, “Now, it is time for you to do the same.”
Immediately, the burden that weighed me down fell off of me and vanished over the side of the cliff. The claws in my soul released their hold and my body flooded with light. I felt the world grow brighter and my body seemed to lift off the ground. Embraced in the warm light of God, I knew my sins were gone forever.
As if a veil had been on my face, the world around me grew clearer. Blue sky was in front of me and the angels, taller than any mountain stood and looked down with smiling countenances. They continued to sing and suddenly the language was revealed to me. My body renewed and strength filling my being, I began to sing with them. My voice was restored and I glowed with an inner light as songs of praise to my God echoed through heaven.
My sins were gone, lost and forgotten. And I beheld myself as a new creation in Christ. I had been born again.
Now and forever, I would be his child, and he would be my master. Taking away my sins, I would serve my God and my Savior forever more and when it came time for me to pass on from my old life, I knew I would see him again face-to-face, and dwell with him for eternity.
