Bible_Lover_Bill
Member
- Joined
- Feb 29, 2004
- Messages
- 12
A Wonderful Christian Conversion in China
(from “Scandalon-- Running from Shame and finding God’s Scandalous Love” by Susan Elaine Jenkins)
Part 1 (pages 244-247)
As our brother-sister relationship deepened, Ouyang began to ask more questions about the Bible plainly displayed on my coffee table. One night he started in again: “Even though you feel very guilty about your behavior in the past, you continue to read the Bible, Susan?”
I flipped off the television with the remote and looked at my friend.
“Yes, I do. I have to read it.”
“You have to? You mean, you agreed once to read and study it every day, like Chairman Mao's Little Red Book?”
“No, no. Not like that at all. I have to read it because ... I can't imagine trying to live without it.”
“Does it contain a list of rules?”
“No, its more of a book about love-- God's love. It explains the relationship He wants to have with us and how He made a way for that to happen.”
Ouyang frowned. “Do you do all the things it tells you to do, then?”
I shook my head. “No, I don't. I wish I did. I think someday I will be more mature in my faith and better able to do what it tells me to do. But I have been very foolish.”
His voice grew softer. “You are a human being. You are not perfect.”
“Yes, but--- I knew better. I knew what to do, and I failed. For that, I will be forever sorry.”
He tilted his head, processing the information. “And for that you must now pay the price?”
“Oh, Ouyang, you have such a way of helping me to focus on the things I believe in: No, I do not have to pay the price. Not now, not ever.”
“And this means?”
“This means that the price has already been paid.” I gathered my legs underneath me on the couch.
He threw up his hands in relief. “So then! What do you have to worry about, Susan?
“Nothing! The price has been paid.”
He thought a moment. “But how? How was it paid? In fees to the church? Perhaps a fund of some sort? The Communists pay a monthly fee, you know, out of their income. It's only twenty or thirty reminbi. How much was the fine that had to be paid?”
I smiled. “Nothing. It wasn't a monetary fee.”
“Then what kind of punishment was it?”
I said softly, “Jesus, the Son of God, bore all the punishment Himself. He gave His life on the cross and because of that sacrifice-- there is no debt for sin. No fee, no fine, no punishment.”
His eyes widened in amazement. “What? This-- this religion is crazy! This I cannot believe.”
He picked up the remote and found a movie we had planned to watch.
Halfway through the film, he turned off the television. He was agitated. “Susan”, he said, “you say you committed a great sin, yes? And for that sin Jesus was killed. But, my father committed no sins. So why did he also become a Christ man?”
I opened my Bible and read aloud Romans 3:23-24: “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
He shook his head stubbornly. “No, Susan. My father was not a sinner. He was a good person, a wonderful doctor who devoted his life to his patients.”
I didn't know how to respond. “I know he was a wonderful person, Ouyang. I can see his life within you, his son, and the dear wife that he left behind. This I believe. But no human being can claim to be without sin, for we are born with sin.”
“The Bible's words . . . they are very strong. And you believe them. So did my father.”
I smiled. “Yes, they are living words, Ouyang. They have life and breath. They aren't like the words of mere men.”
He thought a while. “But what quality is it that makes the words of this book true and the words of other books not true?”
“They're God's words to us, and they are living and breathing and pulsating with life and movement and energy.”
“Read more of the words to me.” His voice was choking with sadness and grief, yet irresistible curiosity.
Thinking about Ouyang's father suffering through the insanity of the Cultural Revolution, I wanted to choose passages that might help to explain his fathers hope. I turned to the eighth chapter of Romans and read, “'For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.'... in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the nature, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
I looked over at my friend sitting on the rocking chair. He was waiting for more, so I flipped back to Psalm 23 and read, “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.”
He stood up and paced back and forth, thinking.
I continued, '“Your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You
prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.'
“Then, in the book of John, it says, 'For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life-- '“
“Stop”, said Ouyang, still walking back and forth.
I looked up. “You want me to stop?”
“Yes, please.”
“Why?”
“It's too personal. These are very private words and should not be uttered aloud.”
I closed the Bible and looked at him. I said quietly, “These words are indeed intimate. And they are powerful.”
“And they are alive”, he pronounced.
I smiled. “Yes, they are alive with the very life of Jesus Christ, God's Son.”
He thrust his hands into his pockets and shook his head slowly. “This is crazy, Susan. A religion for madmen! In other religions, human beings must strive to become better, do the right things and say the right words. In this religion-- the religion of my father-- the right words are uttered only by God. This is very different thinking to a Chinese scientist.”
Part 2 (pages 252-253a)
“Susan”, he said. “Somehow you must learn to forgive your father for not being perfect. For gambling, for drunk driving, for changing. This you must do, yes? You agree?”
“Yes, I do need to forgive him, my friend. You are correct.”
“If you do not forgive, you will die a miserable woman.”
For once, I was speechless.
“Your father is not your God. He is a sinner, just like you are. He is a human being.”
We walked in silence for a while, both of us thinking our own thoughts.
Then Ouyang said, “Now, I want to ask you about your problem, the rest of your problem. The part that you're trying to get away from.”
“Oh, that. Yes-- my problem.”
He stopped and faced me. “Do you think the problem is getting better now? Is your God helping you with it?”
“Yes, He is. All last year I had nightmares about it. I woke up through the nights, unable to forget my failures. And I began reading the Bible more and disciplining myself to simply sit in God's presence, absorbing His love.”
He smiled. “Again . . . too intimate for me. Don't forget I am a scientist and a pragmatic Chinese businessman.”
“Thanks for reminding me”, I teased. “Okay, let me try to explain it another way. I realized I was running from God when I was running from my problems, you see. So I began to change the direction I was running, and I began running towards God. When I made the smallest step toward Him, I realized He had already been walking towards me. Does this make any sense?”
“It makes perfect sense. It sounds like your God knows that you are a human.”
I nodded. “Yes, He does and He has provided perfectly for my human weaknesses.” My Chinese nuclear-scientist friend had a way of helping me see exactly what I needed to see.
We slowly walked, talking until the twilight blended colors and shadows and at last there was only a deep blue-black. The flashing neon lights of the city grew dim. We made our way back to the Peace Apartments in thick, still darkness.
Part 3 (pages 264-265a)
I had been living in Asia for five years. I knew by this time that God had forgiven me completely, but the grieving process continued. And I was still having a hard time forgiving myself.
On the personal level, I was facing major surgery. It was scheduled for the last day of the school year in Hong Kong. Ouyang called to ask about it, then we went on to other topics. He was full of the wonder and joy that a new Christian experiences, learning to walk with Jesus.
“I have decided the Christ faith is a kind of mysterious thing”, he announced.
“Yes, I think you arc right, my friend.”
“And we don't have to solve the mystery to be a Christ.”
“Yes, it is impossible to figure out a holy God, isn't it?”
“Very impossible! This is why so many cannot believe in such a God that cannot be scientifically explained.”
“And yet once we open up and trust, we find a peace in acceptance.”
His joyful laughter was contagious. “Yes, true. Very mysterious kind of peace. Impossible to explain logically!”
“Ouyang, let me ask you something. If you could have a God that was explainable and logical, would He be much of a God, do you think?”
“No. I do not want a god that is a statue I can carry around in my backpack or hang on my wall. Those gods are not real. How can they be? Man has created them to fulfill something in his own imagination. Those kinds of gods are too little.”
“Yes, yes, I understand exactly what you're saying, my friend.”
“And I don't want a god that I have to travel long miles to visit, one that lives in a temple. I want a God who is everywhere, even though the scientist in me struggles with that idea.”
I smiled. “I was just thinking about this last week, Ouyang-- about the mystery of God. It never goes away, you know. That sense of mystery and not understanding everything. But the Bible tells us someday we will understand completely.”
“Yes! And I believe that, Susan. God has His own way of thinking.”
“That is so true, my friend. When I discovered I had to undergo surgery, I was quite angry with God, I am sorry to admit.”
“I think we can tell Him all our feelings, Susan. Even your American feelings which are so dramatic.”
(from “Scandalon-- Running from Shame and finding God’s Scandalous Love” by Susan Elaine Jenkins)
Part 1 (pages 244-247)
As our brother-sister relationship deepened, Ouyang began to ask more questions about the Bible plainly displayed on my coffee table. One night he started in again: “Even though you feel very guilty about your behavior in the past, you continue to read the Bible, Susan?”
I flipped off the television with the remote and looked at my friend.
“Yes, I do. I have to read it.”
“You have to? You mean, you agreed once to read and study it every day, like Chairman Mao's Little Red Book?”
“No, no. Not like that at all. I have to read it because ... I can't imagine trying to live without it.”
“Does it contain a list of rules?”
“No, its more of a book about love-- God's love. It explains the relationship He wants to have with us and how He made a way for that to happen.”
Ouyang frowned. “Do you do all the things it tells you to do, then?”
I shook my head. “No, I don't. I wish I did. I think someday I will be more mature in my faith and better able to do what it tells me to do. But I have been very foolish.”
His voice grew softer. “You are a human being. You are not perfect.”
“Yes, but--- I knew better. I knew what to do, and I failed. For that, I will be forever sorry.”
He tilted his head, processing the information. “And for that you must now pay the price?”
“Oh, Ouyang, you have such a way of helping me to focus on the things I believe in: No, I do not have to pay the price. Not now, not ever.”
“And this means?”
“This means that the price has already been paid.” I gathered my legs underneath me on the couch.
He threw up his hands in relief. “So then! What do you have to worry about, Susan?
“Nothing! The price has been paid.”
He thought a moment. “But how? How was it paid? In fees to the church? Perhaps a fund of some sort? The Communists pay a monthly fee, you know, out of their income. It's only twenty or thirty reminbi. How much was the fine that had to be paid?”
I smiled. “Nothing. It wasn't a monetary fee.”
“Then what kind of punishment was it?”
I said softly, “Jesus, the Son of God, bore all the punishment Himself. He gave His life on the cross and because of that sacrifice-- there is no debt for sin. No fee, no fine, no punishment.”
His eyes widened in amazement. “What? This-- this religion is crazy! This I cannot believe.”
He picked up the remote and found a movie we had planned to watch.
Halfway through the film, he turned off the television. He was agitated. “Susan”, he said, “you say you committed a great sin, yes? And for that sin Jesus was killed. But, my father committed no sins. So why did he also become a Christ man?”
I opened my Bible and read aloud Romans 3:23-24: “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
He shook his head stubbornly. “No, Susan. My father was not a sinner. He was a good person, a wonderful doctor who devoted his life to his patients.”
I didn't know how to respond. “I know he was a wonderful person, Ouyang. I can see his life within you, his son, and the dear wife that he left behind. This I believe. But no human being can claim to be without sin, for we are born with sin.”
“The Bible's words . . . they are very strong. And you believe them. So did my father.”
I smiled. “Yes, they are living words, Ouyang. They have life and breath. They aren't like the words of mere men.”
He thought a while. “But what quality is it that makes the words of this book true and the words of other books not true?”
“They're God's words to us, and they are living and breathing and pulsating with life and movement and energy.”
“Read more of the words to me.” His voice was choking with sadness and grief, yet irresistible curiosity.
Thinking about Ouyang's father suffering through the insanity of the Cultural Revolution, I wanted to choose passages that might help to explain his fathers hope. I turned to the eighth chapter of Romans and read, “'For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.'... in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the nature, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
I looked over at my friend sitting on the rocking chair. He was waiting for more, so I flipped back to Psalm 23 and read, “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.”
He stood up and paced back and forth, thinking.
I continued, '“Your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You
prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.'
“Then, in the book of John, it says, 'For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life-- '“
“Stop”, said Ouyang, still walking back and forth.
I looked up. “You want me to stop?”
“Yes, please.”
“Why?”
“It's too personal. These are very private words and should not be uttered aloud.”
I closed the Bible and looked at him. I said quietly, “These words are indeed intimate. And they are powerful.”
“And they are alive”, he pronounced.
I smiled. “Yes, they are alive with the very life of Jesus Christ, God's Son.”
He thrust his hands into his pockets and shook his head slowly. “This is crazy, Susan. A religion for madmen! In other religions, human beings must strive to become better, do the right things and say the right words. In this religion-- the religion of my father-- the right words are uttered only by God. This is very different thinking to a Chinese scientist.”
Part 2 (pages 252-253a)
“Susan”, he said. “Somehow you must learn to forgive your father for not being perfect. For gambling, for drunk driving, for changing. This you must do, yes? You agree?”
“Yes, I do need to forgive him, my friend. You are correct.”
“If you do not forgive, you will die a miserable woman.”
For once, I was speechless.
“Your father is not your God. He is a sinner, just like you are. He is a human being.”
We walked in silence for a while, both of us thinking our own thoughts.
Then Ouyang said, “Now, I want to ask you about your problem, the rest of your problem. The part that you're trying to get away from.”
“Oh, that. Yes-- my problem.”
He stopped and faced me. “Do you think the problem is getting better now? Is your God helping you with it?”
“Yes, He is. All last year I had nightmares about it. I woke up through the nights, unable to forget my failures. And I began reading the Bible more and disciplining myself to simply sit in God's presence, absorbing His love.”
He smiled. “Again . . . too intimate for me. Don't forget I am a scientist and a pragmatic Chinese businessman.”
“Thanks for reminding me”, I teased. “Okay, let me try to explain it another way. I realized I was running from God when I was running from my problems, you see. So I began to change the direction I was running, and I began running towards God. When I made the smallest step toward Him, I realized He had already been walking towards me. Does this make any sense?”
“It makes perfect sense. It sounds like your God knows that you are a human.”
I nodded. “Yes, He does and He has provided perfectly for my human weaknesses.” My Chinese nuclear-scientist friend had a way of helping me see exactly what I needed to see.
We slowly walked, talking until the twilight blended colors and shadows and at last there was only a deep blue-black. The flashing neon lights of the city grew dim. We made our way back to the Peace Apartments in thick, still darkness.
Part 3 (pages 264-265a)
I had been living in Asia for five years. I knew by this time that God had forgiven me completely, but the grieving process continued. And I was still having a hard time forgiving myself.
On the personal level, I was facing major surgery. It was scheduled for the last day of the school year in Hong Kong. Ouyang called to ask about it, then we went on to other topics. He was full of the wonder and joy that a new Christian experiences, learning to walk with Jesus.
“I have decided the Christ faith is a kind of mysterious thing”, he announced.
“Yes, I think you arc right, my friend.”
“And we don't have to solve the mystery to be a Christ.”
“Yes, it is impossible to figure out a holy God, isn't it?”
“Very impossible! This is why so many cannot believe in such a God that cannot be scientifically explained.”
“And yet once we open up and trust, we find a peace in acceptance.”
His joyful laughter was contagious. “Yes, true. Very mysterious kind of peace. Impossible to explain logically!”
“Ouyang, let me ask you something. If you could have a God that was explainable and logical, would He be much of a God, do you think?”
“No. I do not want a god that is a statue I can carry around in my backpack or hang on my wall. Those gods are not real. How can they be? Man has created them to fulfill something in his own imagination. Those kinds of gods are too little.”
“Yes, yes, I understand exactly what you're saying, my friend.”
“And I don't want a god that I have to travel long miles to visit, one that lives in a temple. I want a God who is everywhere, even though the scientist in me struggles with that idea.”
I smiled. “I was just thinking about this last week, Ouyang-- about the mystery of God. It never goes away, you know. That sense of mystery and not understanding everything. But the Bible tells us someday we will understand completely.”
“Yes! And I believe that, Susan. God has His own way of thinking.”
“That is so true, my friend. When I discovered I had to undergo surgery, I was quite angry with God, I am sorry to admit.”
“I think we can tell Him all our feelings, Susan. Even your American feelings which are so dramatic.”
