Am I too protective?

[mounty]

Do i protect her too much
I have been told i im too protective of my daughter
She is my first and only and i cant really help it she is three in two weeks time . I dont really have anyone mind her not because i dont want to but because i dont really need the help. But when i do have to leave her for an hour or so i dread it. I cannot stop thinking about how the person is minding her will make a mistake .
I have so much fear about her wandering off this sends chills through me when i think of it happening
I know it can happen to the best of parents it only takes a second of looking somewere else.
I am the kind of parent were if she says she doesent want to go i will allow her to stay with me and rather cancel my plans then leave her
I dont mind most crying but its the dont leave me cry that breaks my heart.
Am i being to protective i dont want to smother her?

 

[Dreamer]

I'm a bad judge of "smother-hood", lol, since I've been told about 3 dozen times in the last 19 years....that I am overprotective of my children. I once had a preschool teacher say that I was smothering my oldest son. (He's now 19). Well...I disagree with her. I wasn't smothering him, no. I was spending time with him and loving him. And I am glad that I did. Because when he was 13, his dad took him away secretly in the night across 4 states, and I saw him very little after that. So if I smothered him, so be it!

At least he has some good memories in his mind to carry with him. At least he knows I love him. At least he knows I cherished the time I had with him. If I'd known he was going to be gone out of my life, I would have "smothered" him even more. When he wanted to play with friends, I usually had them come over to our house. That way they weren't playing Morbid Kombat and watching bad movies and stuff, and I was keeping track of him and his friends.

So do I feel that you are smothering your child? Probably not. You probably just love her a whole lot and want the best for her. Jesus loves her too, mounty. I know it seems impossible, but He loves her even more than you do.

Sometimes you need some time off. To refresh yourself. Then when you go pick up your daughter, you have more of yourself to give back to your daughter. Everybody needs a break once in awhile. Just be really careful who keeps her, i.e., babysitters.

I've been told by others that I'm over-protective of my daughter, too. But....how can you protect her too much? There's a fine line there. Like, for instance, she knows she cannot date except in groups, until she is 16. She knows she is always supposed to tell the truth, for her protection, really, so that we can believe what she says. Because we set up these rules (her step-dad and me), she knows that we love her. Is this over-protection? I sure don't think so. A lot of her peers are going to R- rated movies and trying a lot of things that I don't want her messing with.

Now to my 3rd and last child, lol. I love him alot, but there is no way I'm going to smother him. He's too independent to be smothered. Although he loves to be held and hugged, he'd much rather climb on top of the refrigerator and run out to the street to see the "caaaa's", as he calls them. (cars)

 

[Alicia]

Hey Dreamer

I felt very sad when I read about your son being taken away. That must have been terrible for you, I'm sorry.

I think you two are right though, I don't have any kids but if I do get I would love them and cherise them as much as I could without letting it affect them of course.

I believe that you still need to ask God for understanding and wisdom when dealing with your children. Some kids may love being smothered and be able to progress normal but some may be too sheltered and when they start school it could leave them feeling insecure or the opposite where they rebell and act up forming different personalities in different atmospheres. So always ask God how far you should go when being protective with your kids.

God Bless you all!

 

[Vessel4Him]

I do not think you are smothering your child also..Mothers want to hold their children and love on them and I think that when we instill how much really love them and care for them we raise very caring and compassionate kids... I have 3 littles ones of my own and I love to be with them all the time... and Love on them.. You keep on showing her Love..and Smother her until she runs hiding like My 3 yr old does... Lol

GOD Bless You
April