Christian hubby will not go to church

[kamiller1972]

Here's one that I have been trying to wrap my brain around:
My husband is a Christian Fundamentalist-his description of that is that he believes the Bible and the 10 commandments are the absolute truth and word of God.

That being said, he has refused to go to church or Bible study with me. He is a truck driver and is not home much, so I can understand him being a homebody for the majority of time he is home. But what gets me is he is so proud of me becoming a Christian and really likes the fact that I'm going to church and reading the Bible...but he refuses to go with me.

His excuses range from "I have too much to do" to "I would rather be home drinking a "cooley" (beer) because I am not home much."

*sigh*....Yeah, I'm obviously having a hard time trying to understand this! Suggestions?:helppc:

 

[MsMree]

I have a husband just like yours. No real wise advice from me. But I can tell you a bit about him and a bit about how we have tried to resolve it and failed and how we have settled on resolving it. If nothing else hopefully it will be a fun read

He doesn't like the fellowship at church. He finds it shallow. He feels like he asks everyone about themselves and either only gets surface answers or they will answer the questions more deeply but not reciprocate with what he feels is genuine interest in him. He feels like whenever he goes to church he has to put on an act. So he loves the worship, loves the sermon, can't stand the fact that there are other people there. He grew up in a family where the parents believed and prayed and read their bibles but didn't flee from sin and didn't attend church, so he is in the habit of carrying out his faith in a solitary way.

I tried all sorts of things to get him to church. From offering to stay with him the whole time, to offering to leave immediately so he didn't need to talk to anyone. We have two young sons so I have the dilemma of whether to take them to church on my own (and I get nothing out of it cause I am chasing littles the whole time) or leaving them at home where THEY get nothing out of it.

In the end we have settled on home church. The four of us will worship, study and pray together. I go to bible studies on my own to get my fellowship.

All the best with your situation with your husband. Talk to him and be ready to listen to why he really doesn't go.

 

[kamiller1972]

This sounds like a good idea...it just may be doable! But I think I will continue to go to church too. Being a new Christian, I could use all the fellowhip I can get right now...on top of the fact that my best friend no longer wants to be friends because I'm now a Christian ...yep...need A LOT of fellowship, LOL!:shock:

 

[kamiller1972]

I have a husband just like yours. No real wise advice from me. But I can tell you a bit about him and a bit about how we have tried to resolve it and failed and how we have settled on resolving it. If nothing else hopefully it will be a fun read

He doesn't like the fellowship at church. He finds it shallow. He feels like he asks everyone about themselves and either only gets surface answers or they will answer the questions more deeply but not reciprocate with what he feels is genuine interest in him. He feels like whenever he goes to church he has to put on an act. So he loves the worship, loves the sermon, can't stand the fact that there are other people there. He grew up in a family where the parents believed and prayed and read their bibles but didn't flee from sin and didn't attend church, so he is in the habit of carrying out his faith in a solitary way.

I tried all sorts of things to get him to church. From offering to stay with him the whole time, to offering to leave immediately so he didn't need to talk to anyone. We have two young sons so I have the dilemma of whether to take them to church on my own (and I get nothing out of it cause I am chasing littles the whole time) or leaving them at home where THEY get nothing out of it.

In the end we have settled on home church. The four of us will worship, study and pray together. I go to bible studies on my own to get my fellowship.

All the best with your situation with your husband. Talk to him and be ready to listen to why he really doesn't go.

This sounds like a good idea...it just may be doable! But I think I will continue to go to church too. Being a new Christian, I could use all the fellowhip I can get right now...on top of the fact that my best friend no longer wants to be friends because I'm now a Christian ...yep...need A LOT of fellowship, LOL!:shock:

 

[Peace Seeker]

He doesn't like the fellowship at church. He finds it shallow. He feels like he asks everyone about themselves and either only gets surface answers or they will answer the questions more deeply but not reciprocate with what he feels is genuine interest in him. He feels like whenever he goes to church he has to put on an act. So he loves the worship, loves the sermon, can't stand the fact that there are other people there.

I feel the same way - I like the worship aspect and singing hymns to God, etc. but there is definitely a degree of shallowness I see in our service that I could do without. Rather than putting on an act I'd prefer that everyone be authentic. I'd much rather be part of a home church or bible study group.

 

[eddieb]

my grandmother used to say you can count all your friends on one hand.

 

[Giggles4God]

There are other ways than church to get fellowship. I know that at the church I go to there are people I talk...I mean REALLY talk to...my spiritual mothers and I love them to death!

We need people like that.

Sometimes men don't need that as much, but they STILL need people to talk to when the time comes.

I think finding ways to fellowship with other Christians that isn't just church will help.

Like I go into chat room here not usually wanting to talk about deep stuff, but just the every day stuff God is doing.

If you want and you have facebook, you can add me...any of you!!

My name on there is Jennifer Lynn Faust.

 

[kamiller1972]

There are other ways than church to get fellowship. I know that at the church I go to there are people I talk...I mean REALLY talk to...my spiritual mothers and I love them to death!

We need people like that.

Sometimes men don't need that as much, but they STILL need people to talk to when the time comes.

I think finding ways to fellowship with other Christians that isn't just church will help.

Like I go into chat room here not usually wanting to talk about deep stuff, but just the every day stuff God is doing.

If you want and you have facebook, you can add me...any of you!!

My name on there is Jennifer Lynn Faust.

That's a good way of looking at it. My husband doesn't really have a lot of friends, so he doesn't get a lot of Christian fellowship. He does have a very spiritual brother and I think that is how he gets some of his Jesus time-when they actually get to talk to each other! They're both very busy! I try to surround myself with Godly people, even though most of them are just acquaintances, I feel more comfortable around them than I do with "the world", if you know what I mean! Thanks for your input! And oh-I'm gonna go Facebook you now!:shade: My full name is Kelly Anne Miller...see ya there!

 

[Boanerges]

Maybe he would go to a cell group. Ask him what he thinks of these verses:
Heb 10:24 And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works:
Heb 10:25 Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.
What does he think they mean? What should a christian do in response to that Word?

 

[kamiller1972]

Maybe he would go to a cell group. Ask him what he thinks of these verses:
Heb 10:24 And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works:
Heb 10:25 Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.
What does he think they mean? What should a christian do in response to that Word?

Very good Words from the Good Book...I looked them up myself and was inspired, hopefully he will be too. May I ask what a cell group is?

 

[DutchChristian]

Here's one that I have been trying to wrap my brain around:
My husband is a Christian Fundamentalist-his description of that is that he believes the Bible and the 10 commandments are the absolute truth and word of God.

That being said, he has refused to go to church or Bible study with me. He is a truck driver and is not home much, so I can understand him being a homebody for the majority of time he is home. But what gets me is he is so proud of me becoming a Christian and really likes the fact that I'm going to church and reading the Bible...but he refuses to go with me.

His excuses range from "I have too much to do" to "I would rather be home drinking a "cooley" (beer) because I am not home much."

*sigh*....Yeah, I'm obviously having a hard time trying to understand this! Suggestions?:helppc:

Don't worry support him, stand by your man.

meditate on Proverbs 14:1

The words and actions of a woman towards her husband can either break him down or build him up!

Also good for married women to know to give in whenever he wants ....

because of 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 notice verse 5! Christian men are under constant attack by the devil and the world and the flesh, so it is a good thing for a Christian husband to have their own loving wife in the marriage bed, that is undefiled Hebrews 13:4. So go ahead ladies and love your own husbands!

Be an encourager, talk sweet and building words to him and by your own actions 1 Peter 3:4-6

a man loves to be respected and honored, watch him grow as you support him and love him build him up by your sweet conversation and support and don't forget to pray!

you'll see your marriage grow and blossom even further!

 

[Peace Seeker]

my grandmother used to say you can count all your friends on one hand.

Very true. And when it's moving day you know who your friends are. :wink:

 

[kamiller1972]

Very good advice as well, Dutch! He's a very good man, and we all have issues we need to work on for sure!

 

[Rev T.S.Perkins]

allow me if i may ....Im a Minister of the gospel ..havnt been in church in over a year because of my job at nights ..my time with my wife has becaome short but sweet..we dont get to pray togather much either because of the situation..BUT we are of one heart and one belief and one accord ..WE make it a point to pray togather on the really important things but the rest of the time we are like left and right hands both depending on the head ( Christ ) to keep the rest of the body ( our home and family and each other ) in check and on track ..we all have to work out our own salvation with fear and trembling on our own time with God ..support him and you are donig Gods work .understand him and you are doing a mates work..Love Him as he is created and You are doing the work of Christ..allow the Holy spirit to draw him in to the house of God not youre prompting and you will see a man that God will minister to ..many a woman kept the faith while God kept the realationship...IMHO..God bless and i hope it helps...........Rev

 

[kamiller1972]

allow me if i may ....Im a Minister of the gospel ..havnt been in church in over a year because of my job at nights ..my time with my wife has becaome short but sweet..we dont get to pray togather much either because of the situation..BUT we are of one heart and one belief and one accord ..WE make it a point to pray togather on the really important things but the rest of the time we are like left and right hands both depending on the head ( Christ ) to keep the rest of the body ( our home and family and each other ) in check and on track ..we all have to work out our own salvation with fear and trembling on our own time with God ..support him and you are donig Gods work .understand him and you are doing a mates work..Love Him as he is created and You are doing the work of Christ..allow the Holy spirit to draw him in to the house of God not youre prompting and you will see a man that God will minister to ..many a woman kept the faith while God kept the realationship...IMHO..God bless and i hope it helps...........Rev

I like this very much and this helps tremendously. I do think he will eventually come around and attend church when he's ready. Thank you for these encouraging words!ray:

 

[Boanerges]

Very good Words from the Good Book...I looked them up myself and was inspired, hopefully he will be too. May I ask what a cell group is?

Some call them cell groups, some call them home groups, and I am sure there are other names: A cell group is one cell from the local body of believers (local church) who meet on a regular basis to worship, pray, read the Word and lift each other up. These meetings can be held in one home all the time or may be circulated from one members house to the next.

 

[HisSummerRose]

:star: I will keep this in prayer that he will come around soon and then you can be a family and all go together !! :star:

 

[lettheredeemed]

As women we often hope that our husbands will share in our enthusiasm and desire to serve and honor Christ and when they may not reciprocate we may become discouraged and disheartened. But Jesus understands how you feel and He knows the desires of your heart. Trust Him that He has your best interests at heart. He knows what is best for our husbands better than we do so we just need to entrust our husbands to Him.

 

[Michelle71]

This is something I've struggled with off and on for a long time. Not necessarily the attending church, but the bible study and prayer etc.

The best piece of advice I can give, especially since he is gone so much, is when he is home....your time should be his. Attend bible studies etc on days he is not home. There are duties for the Lord, and there are duties
for family. God understands each circumstance, and each family. Take the time you have with him, and do things he wants to do. Picnics, fishing, camping, whatever. That shows more respect for him than anything else.

 

[kamiller1972]

Thank you

This is something I've struggled with off and on for a long time. Not necessarily the attending church, but the bible study and prayer etc.

The best piece of advice I can give, especially since he is gone so much, is when he is home....your time should be his. Attend bible studies etc on days he is not home. There are duties for the Lord, and there are duties
for family. God understands each circumstance, and each family. Take the time you have with him, and do things he wants to do. Picnics, fishing, camping, whatever. That shows more respect for him than anything else.

That is beautiful advise...thank you. I know he is very much a believer...I can see he is very strong in his faith. I just think he has issues with the social aspects of church and for that, I can't blame him!