Church Signs

[skipbeat]

1) Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!

2) Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins.

3) Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!

4) An ad for a Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads, "For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets.

5) When the restaurant next to the Church put out a big sign that said, "Open Sundays," the church reciprocated with its own message: "We are open on Sundays, too."

6) Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons -- come hear one!

7) Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush!

8) Sign broken. Message inside this Sunday.

9) Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world.

10) If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns.

 

[calvaryoakville]

[h=3]Biblical characters as high-tech promoters[/h]Couldn't biblical characters be recruited as high-tech promoters? Consider the following tech advocates and their ad slogans:
10. Noah for Match.com: We can find a mate for anything. Why not you?

9. Moses for the Excedrin Headache Resource Center (Excedrin.com): Take two tablets and call me in the morning.

8. The dove for UPS.com: Guaranteed delivery in 40 days and 40 nights.

7. Adam and Eve for Dell: No Apples for us. We've learned the hard way.

6. Solomon for Microsoft: Don't cut the baby in half.

5. Joseph for Nikon Coolpix: Only Nikon can capture the 36-bit color of my megapixel dreamcoat.

4. Methuselah for AARP.org: Life begins at 960.

3. John the Baptist for DunkinDonuts.com: You'll be head over heels for our new Munchkin platter.

2. Pharaoh for Symantec: If only we'd had Norton AntiPlague 2002 in 2002...B.C.E.

1. Job for Nasdaq: 'Nuff said.

 

[SpiritLedEd]

Great post, Calvaryoakville. I especially liked Adam & Eve/Dell computers LOL!

SLE

 

[Stormy]

There is a sign over the door of my church as you are leaving.

It reads: "You are now entering the mission field"

 

[B-A-C]

What's missing in this C H _ _ C H? U R!

Is Jesus your steering wheel or your spare tire?

My boss is a Jewish carpenter, but you should see his office.

Jesus is like "The Eraser", He erases your past so you will have a future.

 

[Rev T.S.Perkins]

God loves a cheerful giver ..!But He'll take money from a grumpy one too..!

 

[ssgnewt]

Calvaryoakville, new to the forum so forgive me. i thought we were all Christians here. What's the B.C.E. deal. Before Common Era? If so, Christ still separated the dates by His being on earth. Sorry, just thinking outloud.
newt, out!!!!!!

 

[RenJac]

LOL #7 that is a good one..

 

[Rev T.S.Perkins]

There is Hope ..after all Moses was a basket case at first.!

 

[RenJac]

Ok I loved that one Brother Perkins

 

[ssgnewt]

Wow, guys, you really have no idea how much i need this type of interaction. God is using all of you to help me see the good in my brothers and sisters in Christ. This is so blessing me. Thank you all and God bless you..
newt, out!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Rev T.S.Perkins]

why dont we meet at my house before the game.?...God