crazy?

[soldierofchrist]

So there is this girl, that I like, a lot. I feel about her stronger than I have ever felt about anyone, ever. I know why I feel this way about her. What is on my mind are some wierd things that have been happening to me. I am trying to forget about her, put her out of my mind as it is to difficult for me to try to match her words with her actions as far as what she feels about me, so I really don't know what to think about it. I do not want my life to be defined by whether or not I have a romantic relationship with a particular girl. So I want to stop thinking about her. I don't want to feel this way about someone that does not feel the same about me.

I pray about this constantly but I don't know what it is that I'm being told. Sometimes I pray that He would open her heart to me. Is that wrong? I pray that He talk to her on my behalf. Other times I pray something like Luke 22:42..... "God if I'm not supposed to feel like this then, please don't let me. If I am, then please give me the strength to continue waiting for your schedule."

We'll call her Amanda, Manda for a nickname. Before meeting her almost 2 years ago, I had only ever known 2 girls with the same name(I'm mid 20's). I had also not really heard her name used much as I remember that when I met her, I thought that her name was fairly uncommon. Not an unusual name, just not as popular as others. I have been able to put her out of my head and try to imagine myself with someone else. I have been trying to do that for a long time. Now for the wierd part..... Every time I am successful at putting her out of my mind for longer than an hour or 2, it seems I come accross someone or something that reminds me of her. Now, I don't mean subjective things that have to do with perspective or experiences we've had together or things I know she likes/does that would naturally remind me of her. I mean stuff like:
I turn the tv to a movie I have never seen, one of the characters has the same name.
Read the paper, someone has the same name.
Open facebook, the first thing on my news feed has something to do with her, and the reasons I like her. Either her activity, or someone elses activity on her page. And this happens consistantly.
I'm suddenly very hungery so I go through the drive thru at a fast food place, I see her name tattooed on the left arm of the guy working there.
Plus several other instances where her name comes up just when I'm able to not be thinking about her.

These things happen every day, in addition to everything else that reminds me. I don't believe in coincidence, I believe that everything happens for a reason, even the smallest things. I have never heard any name, let alone hers, used so often in such a period of time, and at times meeting such specific conditions. I consider myself to be a fairly observant guy, none of these things ever happen at times when I am thinking about her, if they were, I would notice it. My head says I'm going crazy here, and some other part of me to believes that God is using circumstances of other peoples lives to talk to me. Then my head comes at me with rationality and logic.

 

[SpiritLedEd]

I have never heard any name, let alone hers, used so often in such a period of time, and at times meeting such specific conditions.

You are obsessing over this girl. You've heard other girl's names used with equal or near equal frequency in the past but you paid little heed to it. But then came Amanda and your obsessive personality went into overdrive. It may be a good idea for you to talk this over face-to-face with a professional Christian counselor.

SLE

 

[soldierofchrist]

1) I am not obsessing over her. If this were an obsession, I would not be actively seeking to NOT think about her. An obsession is something over indulged, not avoided. Unrequited feelings do not automatically mean obsession. 2) It's not about how often I hear/see other girls names, only how much I hear/see hers.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people try to tell me what I see, hear, say or think. I know very well what I see, hear, say and think. I know the things that get my attention, and I know how I will react to certain stimuli and input. I know what I observe and that is exactly what I have stated. These are the things I observe, as I said before, I am a very observant person.

Like I said before, I believe everything has a reason. I have been going through The purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren where he says something to the effect that God knows what will get our attention, how we will react to things and how to remind us of the things He places on our hearts.

I am not here to lie to anyone, including myself. I know that in doing so(lying about what I observe) I would only be setting myself up for getting skewed opinions/advice from people replying to this thread. Thus doing me no good at all and making this a pointless effort. I am also not here for others to tell me what I have observed or not observed, or didn't notice or what ever. No one other than me can say anything about any of that. The fact that you are not here to observe it for yourself means that you can not deny it and you must therefore take my word for it. The fact is that it is when I am successful at putting her out of my mind that all of a sudden her name is everywhere I turn. Unfortunately, observing does not mean understanding.

I am here on the hopes that MAYBE He will speak something that makes obvious sense to me through someone that is reading this.

 

[SpiritLedEd]

I am here on the hopes that MAYBE He will speak something that makes obvious sense to me through someone that is reading this.

I repeat my suggestion that you take this matter up with a professional Christian counselor.

SLE

 

[soldierofchrist]

And why is that?

Not every trial or hardship deserves a counseling session.

 

[David777]

Dear soldierofchrist.

Let's just look at what you said.

"1) I am not obsessing over her. If this were an obsession, I would not be actively seeking to NOT think about her."

Of course you are not obsessed with her! Why would they think that?

It is a strange process the force of attraction between male and female. But it will pass with time, I promise you. It just seems so important in this temporal moment.

Focus rather on eternity with Christ, this never requires counselling.

 

[Jimbo_the_Larry]

Oh dude...
I'm no counseller (all due respect to Spirit Led Ed) and I do think that the suggestion of seeing one is a positive thing, not at all negative.
Have you only been friends with this girl? Or have you had some sort of romantic relationship with her? In your post, you simply say that you have known each other for 2 years? So forgive me for digging deeper?!
If you have some sort of romantic history, then the best thing is to both go and see a counseller and discuss it throughly with them, recieve lots of prayer and take it from there.
If not, and you are simply acquaintances...you have to either accept that she may not want to persue a relationship, or you have to be bold and go and speak to her personally about how you feel. (I find this works well!) You'll soon have all the answers you need!
But above all, consider discussing this with a counsellor and dont take offence at the suggestion because it was said with your best interests at heart.

Trust me, girls are a beautiful creation! And if its from God, then it will be an even more beautiful relationship. But just be weary, if its not "of God" then its only going to bring pain and regret. 1 Corinthians chapter 10v13 "There has no temptation taken you but such as is common to man;but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that you are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that you may be able to bear it."
I never really understood the term "escape" in that verse...but when you consider that a temptation that leads us away from Christ's love soon locks us into a prison of sin, then it makes sense.
You have been blessed with power, love and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1v7) and this confusion, and these "apparent signs" do not sound like things God would use. Sorry dude! Pray about it, really pray about it.
I know how dangerous a relationship that is not from God can be, I will keep you in prayer, because I know I could have been saved from a lot of unnecessary pain, had I asked for prayer!
All the best and be blessed...

 

[The Templar]

If you want her real bad my friend, you need to get this over with by making the daring attempt of asking out. I know it's scary and rejection could be imminent but on the long run, it will at least give you a sense of peace rather than spend the rest of your life pondering over what could or could not have happened.

Trust me. I knew this so I gave it a go (my first time) and I have been shot down but in the end my mind was still in a more peaceful state than before, knowing that I have tried. Yes, it feels at first as if a knife was stuck in my chest but hey, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

 

[::PreciousinChrist::]

Dear SOC,

Thank you for sharing all that you are going through...
I want to get to the point so here we go!

First, Repent of your sin of Idolatry!! You are thinking of her more than God, even if you are not thinking of her - your mind is somehow programmed to see things concerning her.
Remember that if God was showing you that Amanda is "the one", He would lead you with His Word and you would have peace and not have restlessness which I see accords to "crazy".

Secondly, As an exercise to godliness, seperate yourself to the LORD Jesus and stay away from anything that leads to Amanda which will help you exercise self-control. It will be hard but don't give up.

Thirdly,I would like to encourage you to talk this out with the LORD, He is your personal Savior forever. Psalm 62:8 says, " Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your heart before Him; for God is a refuge for us".
The LORD desires to have intimacy with you and help you grow in this area with understanding to keep you from wounding yourself in cheap, short relationship(s). You may even just find out, through that time with God that Amanda may just not be "the one"...! Unless He leads you otherwise.

Finally I will leave you with 6 verses :

1 Cor 14:33
Mark 4:19
Exodus 20:3
James 4:7
2 Cor 10:5
1 Peter 5:7


God bless you!!
PRE

 

[Peterorange]

And why is that?

Not every trial or hardship deserves a counseling session.

Counselling isn't a negative thing, it doesn't have to mean there is something wrong. God calls us to fellowship for a reason: we need to be accountable to someone. If there is a church leader (or another mature Christian) who you trust, then spend time with them, be honest with them.

Trying to go it alone doesn't work. Trust me, I've been there. The evil one can lie to us through our minds without us realising.

Remember the image Paul gives of a soldier going into battle in Ephesians 6; even if a solider puts on everything Paul says - shield, armor, breastplate...if he marches into battle alone he will be killed.

with love and prayers.

 

[Ericka17]

Ok love real talk sometimes the devil uses ppl to distract our mind from God cuz he knows our weekness but one thing I heard a preacher say was "don't let the enemy know u better thn u know yourself". In these time u have to do like matth' 6:33 seek ye 1st the kingdom of God nd His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto u. Focus on Him nd jot out those thoughts of her nd Gods will be done. I'll be praying 4 u