Dating Advice

[redeemed4life]

Hello. I've been out of the dating scene for 5-6 years and I've been dating a girl for about 3 months now. She is about 4 years older than me and very successful in her career. She is a very independent woman. She is a nurse and works long hours. She is tired most of the time and is busy doing other things when she isn't working. This is creating strain on our relationship. I've expressed to her that I'm confused as to why she even wants to date me if she is so focused on her career and doesn't have much time for me. I feel at times like an accessory and that this is not really a relationship anymore. If she has barely any time to spend with me and is so focused on her career, whats the point of this relationship then? How much time should people dating spend time together? I've been thinking of ending the relationship because I feel like I'm not pursued or desired anymore. I don't know. Am I just over-analyzing or being too needy or clingy? Thoughts?

 

[Travis]

What you are expressing as frustrations makes sense to me.

If her career is more important than you, or even worse, more important than God, she probably isn't the best marriage material.

Waiting for the right person is good, being in a hurry may lead to a bad choice.

Blessings,

Travis

 

[redeemed4life]

Don't get me wrong, when we do spend time together it is rewarding, but is it even worth it if we only get to see each other like once for every 1-2 weeks? When we first started dating, we hung out a lot and texted each other a lot. Now, it seems like I text her a lot, but she barely texts me back and it seems like she's just too busy or preoccupied with other things. I know I've been out of the dating scene for 5-6 years and maybe I'm just out of practice. Is what I'm feeling legitimate or am I just over-analzying and not being realistic?

 

[Thiscrosshurts]

Hello. I've been out of the dating scene for 5-6 years and I've been dating a girl for about 3 months now. She is about 4 years older than me and very successful in her career. She is a very independent woman. She is a nurse and works long hours. She is tired most of the time and is busy doing other things when she isn't working. This is creating strain on our relationship. I've expressed to her that I'm confused as to why she even wants to date me if she is so focused on her career and doesn't have much time for me. I feel at times like an accessory and that this is not really a relationship anymore. If she has barely any time to spend with me and is so focused on her career, whats the point of this relationship then? How much time should people dating spend time together? I've been thinking of ending the relationship because I feel like I'm not pursued or desired anymore. I don't know. Am I just over-analyzing or being too needy or clingy? Thoughts?

Your thought process is crystal clear,in fact as was reading it I got the revelation that Jesus gets the same treatment from most of us.
I don't have an answer but I think it might be happening to reveal a basic truth. I need to go hang out with Jesus now.
Godspeed and peace

 

[CallingOnHim]

Hmmm. Tough call not being there to see it or get the feeling of it.
You say when she's not at work, which is a lot of the time, that she is busy doing other things ? You mean like errands ? If so, ask her if you could pick her up and you two can run them together. See what she says about that.
Are they hobbies ? And if so, how many ? I can understand one, but if she has a few and is choosing them over you, then she is just wasting your time.
Not saying this is the case, but a lot of women will have a guy even though she's not that interested simply because it boosts her ego. Guys do this too. You need to find out what she's up to. Like I said, ask to do some of these activities with her, and if she declines, well..... there's your answer.
Life's short. You need to be with someone who deserves you.

CallingOnHim </3

 

[Brad Huber]

Unless she would change greatly for the better, it would be a bad marriage. Never go into any relationship, expecting someone to change for the better. If her career is most important, what makes you think it would get any better when the newness of the affections wear off?

 

[meldieching]

Perhaps, consider telling this to her. If nothing happens, then she may be a bad choice. She should know how to manage time or maybe there is a reason behind to her long working hours, ask about it!

 

[Meli]

Hello. I've been out of the dating scene for 5-6 years and I've been dating a girl for about 3 months now. She is about 4 years older than me and very successful in her career. She is a very independent woman. She is a nurse and works long hours. She is tired most of the time and is busy doing other things when she isn't working. This is creating strain on our relationship. I've expressed to her that I'm confused as to why she even wants to date me if she is so focused on her career and doesn't have much time for me. I feel at times like an accessory and that this is not really a relationship anymore. If she has barely any time to spend with me and is so focused on her career, whats the point of this relationship then? How much time should people dating spend time together? I've been thinking of ending the relationship because I feel like I'm not pursued or desired anymore. I don't know. Am I just over-analyzing or being too needy or clingy? Thoughts?

 

[Meli]

To me it sounds like she is not interested and maybe you care about her too much!
It is hard when one tries harder than then the other one!! I say this because I am where you are and He cheated and lied to me.
I loved him more than he did me so I know just how this must hurt you!! There is someone better for you who will see you for who you are.

 

[Ophel]

Hello. I've been out of the dating scene for 5-6 years and I've been dating a girl for about 3 months now. She is about 4 years older than me and very successful in her career. She is a very independent woman. She is a nurse and works long hours. She is tired most of the time and is busy doing other things when she isn't working. This is creating strain on our relationship. I've expressed to her that I'm confused as to why she even wants to date me if she is so focused on her career and doesn't have much time for me. I feel at times like an accessory and that this is not really a relationship anymore. If she has barely any time to spend with me and is so focused on her career, whats the point of this relationship then? How much time should people dating spend time together? I've been thinking of ending the relationship because I feel like I'm not pursued or desired anymore. I don't know. Am I just over-analyzing or being too needy or clingy? Thoughts?

I do believe you have already answered your own question.


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