Dating help?

[aaronb146]

So, I'm new here, and I'm not sure if this is how I'm supposed to go about this, but here is goes:
I'm Aaron, I'm 17, and I've been dating this absolutely wonderful girl for 15 months now. We've never fought, she always tells me how special I am, how awesome I am, how much I mean to her, etc, etc. We're even going to Prom on May 12th! (She said yes!!!)
She's my absolute best friend ever! We can talk for hours having a good time, and can always lean on the other for help or advice. Heck, before we were dating, she stopped me from killing myself. I can't ever thank her enough for that.
She's not like most girls. She doesn't wear provocative clothing, she is set on staying abstinent from sex until marriage, and she insists on only good-bye kisses. Pardon my language, but she's not a ****. She has class, and I respect her for that.
Everyone in my family loves her, and can't get enough of her! Best Girlfriend ever? Mostly.
There's one problem. And it's kind of a big one. She's not a Christian. She's not against it, and we've certainly talked about it before, but she hasn't handed her life over to Christ yet.
I knew from the start that a romantic relationship with her was wrong, but I was stupid and didn't listen. I guess I figured that since she wasn't actively trying to pull me away from God, that it was fine. Well, 15 months later, and I'm still feeling like it was a mistake.
A few days ago, I told her all this. I told her that our relationship was wrong for me to be in. I also told her that since I promised her Prom, that I would be willing to stay with her until after Prom.
This situation is my fault, and she's only caught up in the cross fire. I'm only trying to make it as easy on her as possible.
She said she wasn't mad at me, only upset that I would be leaving. I've lost many hours of sleep over this, and I think she has as well.
So. There's the story. I guess why I'm posting this is
1) Was this the right decision?
2) Is there anything else that I can do for her? She had no idea that this was wrong, and I've only hurt her through this.

 

[farout]

You walked into satans trap. Going out with a unsaved person i clearly wrong. Many men and women are married to non christians because the grew in love with very nice loving people. Then they were so much in love with each other they could not live without that special person.

How about only going to places that are church related. he may well just give up on you or perhaps surrender to Jesus Christ. I never dated anyone whom I did not believe was a Christian. Even doing that I was misled. So you can't be too cautious. If you have been dating fifteen months You are are on shaky grounds. If satan can't make you fall for her one way he will soon tempt you with sex, if h has not already.

I am wondering why your mom and dad said ok to this relationship. Take it from a older brother in the Lord, infact 50 years older than you) you are on thin ice, and head back yo the solid grounds of Jesus Christ. Insist an praying when you both go out, and if she won't go to church with you then that's the signal to brake up.

As a young man your hormones are just about at peak time to take your brain over. And a mans brain does not fully develope until the age of 25. That's for young ladies as well.

You are at the age when you will follow Jesus Christ or follow your desires. Follow Jesus you will never regret it. God bleee you.

PS, I am totally against dances, so your parents allow you more than I would. PS PS I just noticed this is your first post. Welcome to TJ !

 

[dannibear]

So, I'm new here, and I'm not sure if this is how I'm supposed to go about this, but here is goes:
I'm Aaron, I'm 17, and I've been dating this absolutely wonderful girl for 15 months now. We've never fought, she always tells me how special I am, how awesome I am, how much I mean to her, etc, etc. We're even going to Prom on May 12th! (She said yes!!!)
She's my absolute best friend ever! We can talk for hours having a good time, and can always lean on the other for help or advice. Heck, before we were dating, she stopped me from killing myself. I can't ever thank her enough for that.
She's not like most girls. She doesn't wear provocative clothing, she is set on staying abstinent from sex until marriage, and she insists on only good-bye kisses. Pardon my language, but she's not a ****. She has class, and I respect her for that.
Everyone in my family loves her, and can't get enough of her! Best Girlfriend ever? Mostly.
There's one problem. And it's kind of a big one. She's not a Christian. She's not against it, and we've certainly talked about it before, but she hasn't handed her life over to Christ yet.
I knew from the start that a romantic relationship with her was wrong, but I was stupid and didn't listen. I guess I figured that since she wasn't actively trying to pull me away from God, that it was fine. Well, 15 months later, and I'm still feeling like it was a mistake.
A few days ago, I told her all this. I told her that our relationship was wrong for me to be in. I also told her that since I promised her Prom, that I would be willing to stay with her until after Prom.
This situation is my fault, and she's only caught up in the cross fire. I'm only trying to make it as easy on her as possible.
She said she wasn't mad at me, only upset that I would be leaving. I've lost many hours of sleep over this, and I think she has as well.
So. There's the story. I guess why I'm posting this is
1) Was this the right decision?
2) Is there anything else that I can do for her? She had no idea that this was wrong, and I've only hurt her through this.

No matter how successful a relationship is or how good
a person is, eventually you will disagree on major issues
that separate Christians from non-believers. If you look
in Genesis Chapter 5, they list all the accomplishments of
Cain's family line but not so much of Godly Seth's line.
Why is that? No matter what progress they made, success
without God isn't really success. Eventually the family lines
mixed and the world began to become corrupt because those who had
called on the Lord began to compromise their faith by
marrying those who didn't walk with God.

Genesis 6:1-7

Sin begins with compromise.
Although she sounds like a nice girl, believe me,
I have had boyfriends who weren't believers. Their
ideaology was completely different than mine
since their thinking wasn't set in the Word of God.
Eventually I realized if I dated for fun and not with the
intent of marrying a godly man, then I was in for many
painful memories and wasted time.

 

[Fragrant Grace]

aaronb146
1) Was this the right decision?

Yes in agreement with farout's and dannibear's posts, I think you have made the right decision to end this relationship.

An unequal yoke will never work

This type of 'sin' doesnt appear like other sins.....because its all sugarcoated in what seems to be love, kindness and positive feelings etc

But that sugarcoating is all there so satan can attempt to lure you deeper into sin.

I would say get out of the relationship now and dont even go to the prom.

The Lord knows all you have need of....He loves you and He will bless you richly for making a stand for Him.

aaronb146
2) Is there anything else that I can do for her? She had no idea that this was wrong, and I've only hurt her through this

You could start to turn all your feelings for her into prayers for her.

Pray that she will come to know the Lord Jesus Christ as her Saviour. Everytime she comes into your thoughts....commit her to the Lord.



In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths
Proverbs 3:6

The dearest idol I have known
Whatever that idol be
Help me to tear it from Thy throne
And worship only Thee*


* William Cowper

 

[quitejaded]

... Wow. Sorry. I guess I grew up in a totally different church. I've never been taught or heard of it being WRONG to date or marry a non-christian. But honestly, you did the right thing. Because YOU believe this is what you need to maintain your relationship with God. You have made the best decision for you, friend.

She may eventually come to Christ, but for now, it is painful to break up as always. She will mend.

For the record: There are PLENTY of Christians who I disagree with on a fundamental level and would NEVER date them...

 

[skipbeat]

"I'm only trying to make it as easy on her as possible."

I didn't like this line all too well. Not trying to preach or attack you in any way but when ending a relationship no matter how bad or dire it might be. It’s foremost important that you let the person know that this was YOUR decision and for YOUR benefit. Because as you said it before it was you that decided to end the relationship and before this you also knew it was wrong to start a relationship with her in the first place. It might be hurting you but it's also important that you let her know things clearly. After all I'm sure if it where up to her she would not mind to let the relationship to continue.


1) Was this the right decision?

Absolutely! The sooner the better. I can tell you from personal experience that waiting it out can only make things worse.

2) Is there anything else that I can do for her? She had no idea that this was wrong, and I've only hurt her through this.

As i said before let her know that this was your decision and as much as it benefits her...it benefits you most. The best thing you can do for her is to let her go with a clear understanding of the situation. After that just give her some space.

 

[Truehearts]

I feel the need to share about this girl who became a Christian because her Christian boyfriend broke up with her.
We met in college and she knows I was a Christian, and she asked me one day, "What is a Christian?" ...the rest is history, she accepted Christ and got saved. How? simply because her Christian boyfriend stood up and told her he cannot have both a relationship with her and with Christ. The guy choose Christ and the girl was left wondering how much the her ex-boyfriend loved Christ that he broke up with her. Im sure the guy prayed for her. They didnt get back together though, I believe they have lost communication after highschool, but the girl is now in a long time relationship with a Christian guy too.

1. Yes, you did made the right decision.
2. Keep praying for her and I hope you have well explained the real reason you cant stay together.

I also want to say I am happy to see guys like you, I know a lot of kids today who claims to be Christian but keeps their relationship with a non-Christian.

Jeremiah 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things.