Decisions on having children

[Truedawn]

I just wrote a long post sharing my question and when I sent it, my computer got locked up. So here I type again only this time shorter...

I was wondering how you and your spouse decided to have children. My husband and I continue in prayer asking the Lord to change one of our hearts (currently one wants children, and one feels too old). We think that this is a very serious decision and believe that we should be in unity before moving forward. Because of our desire for unity we don't share our story with many - that is the reason for my posting here - which is much more ann.. We don't have parents to talk to about this either (his have passed on and mine are not healthy).

Thank you for your time & prayers.

 

[mounty]

Hey sister

i guess i could share my experience with you ,im not sure if it will help much but here goes

I was eighteen when i discovered i was expecting, to be honest it was the last thing i wanted, but the second i found out ,i guess you could say i went in automatic mode, i spent my nine months transforming my life for my child. My outlook on look at that time was 'if it happens if has happened for a reason' I never had time to feel much, it wasnt untill my daughter was born and about three months old i felt fear, fear i had never felt before, for the first time in my life i loved another more than i did myself. My world at this time was falling down around me, and the only thing i could do was ensure my daughter was cared for. I missed the first year of her life, although i was there raising her ,pretty much alone, i wasnt experiencing anything, just surviving.


Now my daughter is four and wow. She has transformed my life in ways i could never have thought. Things i couldnt do for myself ,i found i could do for her.

I hear it time and time again, people who never wanted children, find themseleves expecting, they spend nine months crying and dreading it ,then the second they hold their child they would die before they would let anyone touch that child. Most of the time it is fear that holds people back, questions like Could i Raise a child right?

There is no right way, all we can do is learn as we go along, and that fear is replaced very fast with love so powerful that it blows you away.

I would sit down and sort through every fear the one who isnt sure about children has and work through them. There is no real way to decide to have children, you either want to have a child and try for one, or it just happens.
Children are Gods gift and the experience of being a parent is priceless.
I will keep you in my prayers and Trust our Father will guide you and your husband.

 

[SpiritLedEd]

Truedawn:

To follow up on Mounty's point: raising a child is one of the things that gives a marriage purpose and fulfillment. Though I screwed up my relationships with my son and daughter, God blessed me with a restored, healthy relationship with my son that culminated with me having the high honor of leading him to Christ shortly before he died this past August.

My son wanted a relationship with me. I was blessed to be able to hang out with him over the last ten years or so of his life. We enjoyed each other's company and I got to be a bit of a spiritual mentor to him in his final months. The quality of my life would have been dimished if he had not been in it. I was 38 yrs old when my son was born.

SpiritLedEd (SLE)

 

[Coconut]

I wrote a response yesterday and then I locked up...lol...(dont ask)

May I suggest you and your husband simply leave this decision in the Lords hands...as the scripture says "my life and times are in His hands"

It really is that simple, for children are a gift from God...His choosing...not ours...

Blessings

 

[Mr. Armenian]

Bonjour Truedawn!

My wife and I were only married for 14 months before we were blessed with little Kennedy. She truly is a gift from God.

And, it's funny, and I tell my friends (not bragging) but if you don't have kiddies, you are completely unable to unable to fathom the love you have.

I'm 32, and my wife is 25. But mind you, having a child is not easy, and some people (IMO) aren't "parent material" - but if the only thing that is stopping one of you is age (presuming the person is not as old as George Burns) - then go for it! It's the best thing ever.

 

[Truedawn]

Thank you all for your posts. We continue in prayer and conversation.