Truthseeker1974
Member
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2022
- Messages
- 1
I was married to a woman I loved very much. We went through some hard times, but I never once wanted to cause her any pain or hurt, never raised a hand to her, just my voice occasionally. I was raised to never hit a woman, period, unless you had to in self defense. Anyway, I had gotten depressed, starting smoking really powerful weed on a daily basis, and was investigating "conspiracy" websites about world events and stock market manipulations, etc. Basically what happened was I ended up getting worked up about world events, and stayed up about 4 days straight hitting a really potent strain of marijuana through a vape, which I didn't know at the time, but one of the effects of the strain at least in my case probably also combined with the complete lack of sleep was extreme paranoia.
I ended up opening a gate to something without even knowing that's what I did. I was literally possessed by a demon. Complete possession. My ex-wife was trying to talk me down, and I was having a war inside my head between good and evil with audible voices. She convinced me to get into the car and she was going to try to take me to a hospital. I was almost like a passenger on some horrible ride mentally. I was hearing a calm voice that I'm guessing was the Holy Spirit or Jesus, and a loud paranoid voice which was the demon. Sadly, I listened too much to the wrong one. While we were on the road, I could feel my hand go down into my pocket, which then pulled out my knife, and stabbed my ex-wife in the chest. Thank God she was able to get the car parked and got out waving traffic down for help. It was a bright sunshiny day, but while this was going on I remember my eyes felt like they darkened just like the movies. It looked like it was midnight to me. I was just in my head enough to know what had happened. I was horrified, and tried to kill myself by walking out into traffic. God saved my life there by having the same people that were attending to my ex-wife wave traffic off.
I was wrestled down at some point later by an off duty officer who had come up on the scene. I didn't really put up any kind of fight, I just wanted to die because I had no real idea what was happening to me. I was in and out of mental focus, but everything felt incredibly fuzzy. I knew "I" had hurt my ex-wife badly, but I had no idea why or how or anything beyond that. I just remember ranting that the stock market was going to crash and other nonsense. The demon was still in me, just toying with me I think. They took me in and booked me into the local county jail. I didn't know for 3 days if she was alive or dead. They wouldn't tell me, just taunting me with what do you care, you tried to kill her, etc.
I found out finally that she was alive by a compassionate jailer, I think he could tell that something was up because I seemed extremely concerned about her for somebody who supposedly had tried to murder her. I later found out details about it. The knife had missed her heart by about an eighth of an inch. That was when I knew it was Jesus that saved her life. It was like surgical precision. The blade had collapsed a lung but the medical staff was able to get her back out of the hospital within a week or so which I also took to be Jesus. That was when I got down on my knees and begged Jesus to forgive me, and to come into my heart after I had read some religious tract in jail. She later testified to a court ordered psychologist that that I had yelled out satan right before "I" stabbed her. I didn't remember saying that at all. It wasn't until I read that she had said that, that I really realized I was truly possessed, as strange as that sounds. I was so taken aback by the whole thing I wasn't sure what was going on.
After I took Jesus into my heart as my Savior, things began to immediately turn around for me. I was facing 10 years in prison for first degree assault with a deadly weapon. I had a public defender who knew the law, but in court would literally not speak up to the judge, as if he was afraid of her. The judge had a personal hatred for me I could tell. And honestly I can’t blame her, as I always hated woman abusers too. She was supposed to be neutral, but her attitude clearly indicated that she was not. Through a series of circumstances that I completely attributed to Jesus, because there’s no way I would have ever gotten that “lucky” during my sentencing I ended up getting a replacement judge because my original judge had to go out of town. He gave me time served and a year of probation. He could have given me the whole 10 years, but he said based on my completely clean record he was going to give me a chance. I was to have no contact with my ex-wife for a year, and basically that was that. They let me out within a week of sentencing. I really loved my ex-wife, but I knew that she didn’t fully see that it wasn’t me in control although I could tell she still loved me, she needed to be able to heal from what she had been put through. I say these things knowing that most people probably think I made the whole thing up to avoid responsibility for what happened, but that’s not the case. I know I was responsible for leaving the door open to the demon, but I never in a million years would have ever hurt her if I was in full control.
Anyway, she's happy and healthy now and has children and is remarried, which I'm truly happy about. She didn't deserve anything she went through. It was my fault for letting the door be opened, but I wanted nothing but the best for her while I was in control of myself. I say all this to you as my personal testimony for several reasons. 1. Jesus loves everybody no matter what they have done. 2. A lot of people don't believe in this kind of event and think it's all Hollywood, like I did before it happened to me. 3. I would have wanted somebody to talk to me about this sort of thing to help me avoid anything like what I experienced. God tried several times before this to get my attention. I was completely denying His existence and just thinking I was the only one in control of my own destiny like a large portion of society. He had saved me from dying multiple times and I just flippantly said thank you Lord, and carried on like I always did, not truly understanding that it really was God who got me through those events including a car crash and a roof almost falling on my head with barely a scratch.
I ended up opening a gate to something without even knowing that's what I did. I was literally possessed by a demon. Complete possession. My ex-wife was trying to talk me down, and I was having a war inside my head between good and evil with audible voices. She convinced me to get into the car and she was going to try to take me to a hospital. I was almost like a passenger on some horrible ride mentally. I was hearing a calm voice that I'm guessing was the Holy Spirit or Jesus, and a loud paranoid voice which was the demon. Sadly, I listened too much to the wrong one. While we were on the road, I could feel my hand go down into my pocket, which then pulled out my knife, and stabbed my ex-wife in the chest. Thank God she was able to get the car parked and got out waving traffic down for help. It was a bright sunshiny day, but while this was going on I remember my eyes felt like they darkened just like the movies. It looked like it was midnight to me. I was just in my head enough to know what had happened. I was horrified, and tried to kill myself by walking out into traffic. God saved my life there by having the same people that were attending to my ex-wife wave traffic off.
I was wrestled down at some point later by an off duty officer who had come up on the scene. I didn't really put up any kind of fight, I just wanted to die because I had no real idea what was happening to me. I was in and out of mental focus, but everything felt incredibly fuzzy. I knew "I" had hurt my ex-wife badly, but I had no idea why or how or anything beyond that. I just remember ranting that the stock market was going to crash and other nonsense. The demon was still in me, just toying with me I think. They took me in and booked me into the local county jail. I didn't know for 3 days if she was alive or dead. They wouldn't tell me, just taunting me with what do you care, you tried to kill her, etc.
I found out finally that she was alive by a compassionate jailer, I think he could tell that something was up because I seemed extremely concerned about her for somebody who supposedly had tried to murder her. I later found out details about it. The knife had missed her heart by about an eighth of an inch. That was when I knew it was Jesus that saved her life. It was like surgical precision. The blade had collapsed a lung but the medical staff was able to get her back out of the hospital within a week or so which I also took to be Jesus. That was when I got down on my knees and begged Jesus to forgive me, and to come into my heart after I had read some religious tract in jail. She later testified to a court ordered psychologist that that I had yelled out satan right before "I" stabbed her. I didn't remember saying that at all. It wasn't until I read that she had said that, that I really realized I was truly possessed, as strange as that sounds. I was so taken aback by the whole thing I wasn't sure what was going on.
After I took Jesus into my heart as my Savior, things began to immediately turn around for me. I was facing 10 years in prison for first degree assault with a deadly weapon. I had a public defender who knew the law, but in court would literally not speak up to the judge, as if he was afraid of her. The judge had a personal hatred for me I could tell. And honestly I can’t blame her, as I always hated woman abusers too. She was supposed to be neutral, but her attitude clearly indicated that she was not. Through a series of circumstances that I completely attributed to Jesus, because there’s no way I would have ever gotten that “lucky” during my sentencing I ended up getting a replacement judge because my original judge had to go out of town. He gave me time served and a year of probation. He could have given me the whole 10 years, but he said based on my completely clean record he was going to give me a chance. I was to have no contact with my ex-wife for a year, and basically that was that. They let me out within a week of sentencing. I really loved my ex-wife, but I knew that she didn’t fully see that it wasn’t me in control although I could tell she still loved me, she needed to be able to heal from what she had been put through. I say these things knowing that most people probably think I made the whole thing up to avoid responsibility for what happened, but that’s not the case. I know I was responsible for leaving the door open to the demon, but I never in a million years would have ever hurt her if I was in full control.
Anyway, she's happy and healthy now and has children and is remarried, which I'm truly happy about. She didn't deserve anything she went through. It was my fault for letting the door be opened, but I wanted nothing but the best for her while I was in control of myself. I say all this to you as my personal testimony for several reasons. 1. Jesus loves everybody no matter what they have done. 2. A lot of people don't believe in this kind of event and think it's all Hollywood, like I did before it happened to me. 3. I would have wanted somebody to talk to me about this sort of thing to help me avoid anything like what I experienced. God tried several times before this to get my attention. I was completely denying His existence and just thinking I was the only one in control of my own destiny like a large portion of society. He had saved me from dying multiple times and I just flippantly said thank you Lord, and carried on like I always did, not truly understanding that it really was God who got me through those events including a car crash and a roof almost falling on my head with barely a scratch.
