Do you support internet dating ?

[rizen1]

God can use anything for his will to be done. I've heard this statement and I believe in it, but we have people who use it as an excuse to hunt guys or girls online because, God has no limits.


But if we're the ones searching profiles, joining sites, always on chat on a hunt for a mate..how is that God's will. You're the one pressing the keys, who is leading who.....Who is in control.

Us or God.

What if you're suppose to met your mate in church, at the mall, doctors office, the bank or on the street.

Then we have to ask...why do young people put themselves out there.
Low self esteem, are they hiding something ?
How long do these relationships last ?
How many relationships do they form in 6mths ?
How many turn into marriages ?
What is the divorce rate among these marriages ?
Is online dating addictive ?
Most importantly, am I emotionally fit for online dating ?


Young adults and teens go missing everyday, some of these kids left home to meet someone online. Adult men go overseas to meet their fiance, but never to return home.


Internet dating is cool, but do our kids and young adults have all the facts.

 

[geethan123]

i guess this is a good topic. but since i am young, i cannot give my views.. waiting for experienced persons' answers

 

[Giggles4God]

Attention chad!! ;-)

I put that as the title because I REALLY want to share my story of how I met my husband online. Sure, internet dating is dangerous...and risky...falling in love is risky!! The MAIN thing to do is get close to GOD and He will tell you what to do. I didn't REALLY date my husband. It was more a courtship.

SO, THIS IS FOR CHAD!! I have already shared my story which is a website that might link to a website that has ads on it...BUT I can share it with you, Chad and then post it OR I can have those who want to know, PM me.

Tell me what I should do!! :-D I like people to know that there ARE good descent people and being scared of dating on the internet is GOOD, BUT not so scared that you miss the person God has for you.

ok...*steps off of soapbox*


Shew...I hope people know I freaked my mom out about this whole internet dating thing until she met my now husband :-D OH!! I was 21 when I met my husband. I was 23 when we married.

~Jen~ (errrrr G4G hehe)


P.S. LOL This is the second time I edited this, BUT I wanted to say something. Having the mindset, I'm going to search for a mate online is the WRONG kind of mindset to have. I did not do that. After one bad online date thing, I just said okay God if I am to get married, You'll let it happen. I'm not going to search anymore and I gave that up to God. I put THAT on the altar. After I went after God and laid it all down, I went into a Christian chatroom and soon after found my husband! ;-) Not that it happens like that for everyone. It is ALL about what is your focus. Since I was focused on God, He showed me the way and opened up the door. If I had been focused on guys, guys, and more guys, I wouldn't have had the right attitude or focus and I believe I would never have found my husband. We both give God the glory for helping us find each other. And did we ever pray! :-D For each other for what was happening, etc.

 

[mourning dove]

I can't say no exactly and I can't say yes. One of our widowed cousins married a woman he met on line and it has worked very well these past four years they have been married. But both were mature Christians whose spouses had died.

I think that any kind of Internet exchange should include a great amount of caution. And I would never encourage someone moving quickly into a serious relationship with someone they had met on the Internet.

People can say anything they want and pretend to be anyone they want on the Internet. I had a bad experience with a penpal I had met on a Christian forum in that she was pretending to be someone she wasn't. And when I realized that she had lied to me over and over again it was very disheartening and this was just a friend.

I prefer the traditional way of getting acquainted, that is, face to face through church, organizations, mutual friends, work, etc. and even then with caution for those who are not married and searching.

Proverbs 12:26a "A righteous man is cautious in friendship..."

:heart8:mourning dove...

 

[rizen1]

People can say anything they want and pretend to be anyone they want on the Internet. I had a bad experience with a penpal I had met on a Christian forum in that she was pretending to be someone she wasn't. And when I realized that she had lied to me over and over again it was very disheartening and this was just a friend.

I prefer the traditional way of getting acquainted, that is, face to face through church, organizations, mutual friends, work, etc. and even then with caution for those who are not married and searching.

Proverbs 12:26a "A righteous man is cautious in friendship..."

:heart8:mourning dove...

I think everyone could agree of the dangers, God really have to be the one in control. I posted this poll not to debate online dating but to question....

Who is in control..God or Man ?
Are we trully informed of the dangers ?
Are we using God as an excuse when its really our emotions ?

We can sugar coat this and report many sucessful couples from online dating...but who is going to report the dark side, the kids who go missing, the men who never return home, the bank accounts erased, the raped victims, murder victims, victims of human trafficking forced into sex slavery.

What worked for you and others can be a death sentence to another.

I know guys on this site who got hurt from online dating, the girls weren't who they claimed to be. The label ''Christian'' don't always mean God sent.

It's all about knowing the facts, trusting in God not our emotions.

Also if anyone tells you to keep the relationship a secret " red flag ".

Most importantly accountability ; invite a friend to evaluate the person and the relationship.

 

[ephesians4_23]

I am divorced and not dating.
I haven't tried internet dating and I don't really feel the need for it at this time in my life.
I'm actually not searching for a 'soul mate' though, I'm trying to focus on me and God right now.
Will I ever date? Probably. Get married? Who knows?
Rather than think upon those things, I am devoting myself at this time in my life to my children, my family, my friends. I'd much rather have a relationship come out of a friendship than someone I've never met before.
But that's just me.

 

[Truehearts]

really nice topic!

Then we have to ask...why do young people put themselves out there.
Low self esteem, are they hiding something ? LOW SELF ESTEEM- definitely
How long do these relationships last ? i think its, 1month-average
How many relationships do they form in 6mths ?lotssie...
How many turn into marriages ?not sure- how many GOT DIVORCED after... sure there are.
What is the divorce rate among these marriages ? High
Is online dating addictive ?it is.
Most importantly, am I emotionally fit for online dating ?maybe not bec. im very cautious


Young adults and teens go missing everyday, some of these kids left home to meet someone online. so trueAdult men go overseas to meet their fiance, but never to return home.


Internet dating is cool, but do our kids and young adults have all the facts.they dont

I like having friends online, but dating is a different thing... its sort of fun but not safe... im not against it, yet im not totally for it. like if given a choice, i think the traditional way is more exciting... and ur right, it doesnt mean its Christian, its God's will... ive always loved the story of rebekah and isaac... and i long for a story like that, totally God's will.

We have this funny line at church whenever we have a new crush or something... (and i think it will defile the necessity of online dating)... we always say, "IF IT'S GOD'S WILL, IT'S GOD'S WILL." you know,we dont need to look for it. HE will BRING IT.:wink:
(even if takes us to water a camel,lolz)

 

[rizen1]

We have this funny line at church whenever we have a new crush or something... (and i think it will defile the necessity of online dating)... we always say, "IF IT'S GOD'S WILL, IT'S GOD'S WILL." you know,we dont need to look for it. HE will BRING IT.
(even if takes us to water a camel,lolz)

LoL...Amen he will bring it.

 

[Anneke]

Yes, Internet dating can be dangerous, but Hey! I met my husband on an internet dating site! And 4 years down the line we are STILL happily married and have 2 beautiful children.

The one thing I liked about internet dating is that you can learn a lot about a person before you have to meet them. And the liars usually lied themselves into a corner very quickly.

To answer the questions asked:
Low self esteem, are they hiding something ? Not at all... it's a lot easier than going on a million blind dates
How long do these relationships last ? Ours is still going strong
How many relationships do they form in 6mths ? I only ever had relationships with 2 men I met online. One turned out to be married with children! :shock:
How many turn into marriages ? ?
What is the divorce rate among these marriages ? ?
Is online dating addictive ? I think it can be yes.
Most importantly, am I emotionally fit for online dating ? Only you would know.

I'd say the biggest thing is to keep close to God and let Him be your focus in life, not finding a mate. But I see nothing wrong with putting yourself out there.

 

[rizen1]

That's good to hear, I have friends who met their husbands through dating sites and still married. The truth is God can and will use anything, the only thing that gets in the way is us, when we are led by emotions.

As we're on this topic of " internet ' it reminds me of this story...

A 13 year-old girl hung herself after a "boy" she was dating through Myspace insulted and harassed her (according to the story, the "boy" asked to be her Myspace friend, then they started talking online and eventually called each other boyfriend and girlfriend before he started saying that he had "heard that she wasn't very nice to her friends" and then began sending the girl increasingly cruel and harassing emails). Turns out that this "boy" was actually a neighboring couple who posed as a 14 year-old boy in order to deliberately lure this girl into talking to them, trying to see if she said anything bad about their daughter. What they didn't know when they decided to be infantile and cruel was that this child was on medication and suffered from severe depression and ADD.

You really can't tell the mental state of someone until you meet them.

 

[scofieldII]

Never.Its a scam. A person must be seen and experienced to be understood.

 

[Whendancer]

A glimpse of hope

Thank you for posting this subject! I had given up on any type of online romance ever happening for me. I just dug my heels in and even asked God to take the desire from my heart. What He did was give me a glimpse into someone else's heart. A well-known commercial website, had a free weekend, so I logged in! One match stood out waaaaaaaay above all the rest! In his description of himself, was a clear committment to serving the Lord and others in selfless ministry! It was such an amazing profile, I printed it out and I keep it as a reminder to me that there are brothers out there that are not looking so much at the physical as they are the spiritual compatibility in their soulmate. They are praying that God will direct their steps, so that they can choose the one that they can enter into Covenant with. And, sometimes, that may mean allowing that to occur online. Did we make a match? No. I closed my account when the weekend was over, but I did pray for him to find his mate soon. No one with a heart that longs to love someone "sacrificially" as Christ loved the Church should have to wait too long for the chance to do so! My view, is that whatever is done cautiously and prayerfully should reap a God-honoring outcome! And, remember, to just be sure to stay faithful to your First and Truest Love whether you are "found" or not! Blessings!

 

[rizen1]

Amen...Sister very well said.

You have self control, other people would have said.." Oh he's the one , let me pm him "
But in your heart you prayed for him.

My view, is that whatever is done cautiously and prayerfully should reap a God-honoring outcome! And, remember, to just be sure to stay faithful to your First and Truest Love whether you are "found" or not! Blessings

Yes, God comes first.

Also People don't know when to close the door on internet dating, sometimes the experience might just be a lesson to be learned about one's self. I don't think its for me, if the person lives a 1hr away maybe, but you're not going to see me hooking up with someone in another country. I know myself and I know what I can handle.

I personally like meeting people in person, I love reading body languages. When I start to court, he and I should be attending church together. I want to see His fruits. The word Christian is a action word, people wear that word as a label.

People please date yourself first, learn your likes and dislikes, before doing online dating. Online dating is like going to a "Bar'...you never know what you'll take home Std, HIV..or some crazy person.

I know for a fact...I want to attend church with this person

PS...If you do meet your soulmate online I would suggest a HIV testing, remember Christian have sex to, plus there are other ways of getting STDs and HIV ( make sure you're there )

Sorry peeps, I'm not into sugar coating anything.

 

[rizen1]

By AMANDA LEE MYERS,AP
Posted: 2008-09-10 21:44:44
PHOENIX (AP) - A sex offender who posed as a 12-year-old boy to enroll in Arizona schools has pleaded guilty to seven criminal charges, two stemming from the charade he pulled for two years, and will go to prison for more than 70 years, a prosecutor said Wednesday.

If a sick person like this would go as far as pretending to be a child to attend school, who says they won't do the same online.

The full story explains that he got help from 3 other pedofiles, who posed as his uncle, cousin and grandfather when enrolling him in schools.

One source said they all met.....online.

Parents protect your kids, see who they are talking to online.

 

[51_5_16-18]

I think it's ok but be careful about which site you use. There are some sites speciffically for Christians.

 

[today]

No I do not support internet dating, can you find dating i the written word of God

 

[estr]

I agree with Giggles4God Thanks

 

[BlessedLady]

I was not on a dating site.
But my husband and i were in a chatroom and we fell inlove. He was in another country.
He was in the USA and i in the netherlands.
We now are married almost 9 years and have 2 wonderful children together.
We live in the Usa in case yr wondering
I would not say internet dating is for everyone.
But in our case, God brought two unbelieving heathens together, from two different countries and brought them to himself after they got married and gave them two kids while the doctors declared them infertile.

.

 

[StopPolloition]

Never.Its a scam. A person must be seen and experienced to be understood.

So because I've never met Paul, or Peter, or Luke I can't understand their personalities or their writings? Seems a little dualistic, no? I don't have a problem with internet dating; I don't think many people would be so gaga over someone they've never met that they'd agree to marry, sight unseen.

10 years ago if you told me you met someone from the internet, I might've looked at you like you had a third eye. Now because of the ubiquity of it, I don't find it strange at all. There is no longer the stigma of potentially meeting an axe murderer (if there ever should have been? the same people who you might think nothing of giving your phone number to at church or the supermarket...go home and get online.)

I think it can be useful in that you can get to know someone's personality absent of their appearance, which for many plays too large a role in selection. I do, however, have an issue with...how shall I say..."casting a wide net". The anonymnity of the internet makes it possible for people to enter relationships with a number of people simultaneously; that to me is casual dating, which I find to be unscriptural.

 

[PaladinGirl]

Yes, I am all for it! That is how I met my boyfriend!