Emotional Abuse

[Property Of God]

Hello saints,

I wanted to ask people what they think about verbal, mental and emotional abuse in a marriage? How can a spouse that is being abused this way deal with this issue? What would God want the spouse that suffers to do about this situation? The yelling, the blaming and shaming, the threats... it hurts the heart. I know biblically it isn't ground for divorce.

Thank you.

 

[TC4JC]

The Bible teaches us that there are three legitimate grounds for divorce. Death of a spouse .(this divorces the marriage (Rom.7:2) Adultery can be grounds(Matt.19:9). Or an unbeliever'sleaving the marriage(Rom.12:18, 1Cor.7:15.

With the that said, God hates divorce.
No one should have to suffer from abuse , either physical, emotional ,verbal or otherwise.
I put my wife through hell because of my abuse. I hated God, and most people for that matter. She even wanted to divorce me. But God told her no. He would deal with me! And He sure did. She left me at the foot of the Cross,, and God showed me---me!
You will hear folks say not to be unequally yoked. (2Cor. 6:14). But then Paul and Peter both wrote how a spouse can be won over to Christ just by being a living example of how Christ is ,and the love He has. (1Cor. 7:10-16; 2Cor.:614,15; 1Pet. 3:1-6). I know when my wife left me alone for God to work on me, it was more effective . From my point of view, I saw things in her that I wanted, but didn't think could be a reality for me. Now I can say I love The Lord and she now has a husband who is tender hearted, merciful, kind and gentle, yet strong for her. She couldn't do it by telling it to me, she did it by example. Keep the faith.
TC

 

[mere5]

A woman once told me submitting to your husband is sometimes DUCKING to get out of the way to what God has to do with your husband! Being married for 8 years now, I've done A LOT of ducking. "Pray without ceasing" for your husband! Sometimes husbands need a good swift kick in the rear from the ALMIGHTY!!! Hold on tight dear you are along for the ride with him!!!

 

[brokenwing]

I am sorry if I come off rude or blunt here I dont know any other way of saying this right now. I seriously do not understand how it could possibly be okay to tell someone to stay in an abusive relationship, whether it is a marriage or something else. Ironically enough I came onto this site after not being gone for quite a while to have found this post. Being someone who is dealing with a very similar issue, and has been told very similar things to what is being said here. But, how is that possible, I cannot reconcile the character of God and this. And if ti is so then God is not who I thought He was. Or I am not as significant as I thought I was to Him. I desperately want to be wrong in this because the implications are too much otherwise.

 

[Brad Huber]

You may not want to divorce him, but you can certainly leave him, go live with parents or trustworthy friends. Live without the constant abuse until your issues with him are resolved.

 

[grandmamary1219]

I sent you an e-mail, my friend. This is a subject I am intimately acquainted with...

I will be thinking of you and praying for you. Feel free to correspond with me by e-mail.

 

[Property Of God]

Thank you all so much. I appreciate every post so much! I am in prayer now over this and I'd love it if you pray for me also. I love this community!

 

[Furious_Love]

Hello saints,

I wanted to ask people what they think about verbal, mental and emotional abuse in a marriage? How can a spouse that is being abused this way deal with this issue? What would God want the spouse that suffers to do about this situation? The yelling, the blaming and shaming, the threats... it hurts the heart. I know biblically it isn't ground for divorce.

Thank you.

Have been married 25 years in September. I feel for you in your dilemma. Abuse in any form is painful to receive and hurts the Spirit God has given you. Men can be atrocious to people especially your betrothed. The pain of abuse hurts. Let me be a guarantee that marriage does get better over time. Be Bold to your one true love. Be patient. Be not afraid to speak the way it is. I see you have been advised to depart from your lover. This is not the end. What it is, is what it is. You are not a doormat for your husband. As I said be bold, let him see the pain you are feeling. Mostly it gains respect if you stand on God precepts. Keep pursuing your dream dear sister.

If I may be so prudent as to say that maybe you can write down all you are feeling and share it with your husband. Words can be so powerful when delivered the right way guided by the Holy Spirit.

Jesus loves you beyond compare, our betrothed in eternity. Speak the truth to your hubby the way it is. There are two voices in a marriage. Yours and his.

A marriage is sacrosanct unto the Lord. You have the choice to give in or fight the good fight against your hubby. Many times in my marriage my betrothed has pointed out truths in my attitude and life. As a woman you have the right to confront what befalls you. God is beside you. Be not afraid dear sister in Christ.

If your husband cannot reconcile what you are feeling I would say to him to grow up. Sorry about that bit but men of God must stand up to be what they were intended to be. They are the men of God who looks after you and loves you beyond compare.

This has been my motto for my life that follows on to my marriage. My Love, My Life, My Betrothed. If you get through this you will be a stronger woman for what you have gone through.

I would gladly talk to you hubby about his responsibilities as a husband and lover.

God Bless Sister in Christ..

 

[Furious_Love]

In addition, if I may say so there is a book that can and could radically change your husband’s view on life. A book I could recommend is ‘Edwin Louis Coles’ book “Maximised Manhood”. It is packed with sound knowledge about a man’s responsibilities in a marriage and life in general for a man. It is a book I think would benefit your husband; it is dynamic and full of truth about the man today.

God Bless. You and your hubby are in my prayers

 

[Coconut]

The yelling, the blaming and shaming, the threats... it hurts the heart.

It hurts Gods heart too....

Abusers reach a place of accountability the quickest when they themselves suffer immediate consequence to their (chosen) actions. You don`t tell a child when they are behaving badly... NO! ....and allow them to respond by yelling and blaming and shaming and threatening you because they can`t get what they want.... that leaves YOU as the one being punished for their bad behavior. Once this cycle begins it is very difficult to stop.... and it ALWAYS escalates from verbal to physical if allowed to continue.

When adults act like children they need to quickly learn their behavior is not acceptable, not even once, not even for a moment....and that you will not accept the punishment for their behavior (mental and/or physical scars of assault slashing your heart left and right) If such a clear boundary cannot be made understood with words, immediate action must be taken.

There is forgiving seven times seven, and there is leaving seven times seven if need be.... until the abuser learns they lose the privilege of being with you if they refuse to respect your boundaries.