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Falling in love too fast

TyC113

Member
Joined
Sep 17, 2011
Messages
12
Ever since I was a child, I have been a dreamer, you could say. I always dream about things and envision things. I always have had dreams of things, from what I wanted to be when I grew up to the woman of my dreams. To this day, I still have those dreams as a single 22 year old. I have always desired and dreamed of being in love with someone. One worldly thing that plague that I still haven't even been kissed at age 22. I guess it's silly for me to think about, but I have never had a girlfriend, and it has been a bother to me. I don't know. But I guess I have that desire to have some lovely girl (definitely of noble character) tell me that she loves me and wants to be my wife.

But the problem is that I am not that good/comfortable around women. I get a little nervous around women.

I always picture her and I saying I do and kissing on our wedding day. I picture my first kiss at times and imagine it to be so special. And I seem to look for a wife superficially, only interested in looks most of the time. Vanity. Anyway, I have so longfully wanted to find "my love" that I have basically been foolish with my heart, falling for girls who I didn't really have a relationship with. On top of that, I would be crazy about her really quickly and would fall in love too fast. These "crushes" resulted in getting my heart broken and plenty of pains.

But the thing of the matter is I seem to still fall for some pretty Godly girl and fall quite quickly. I don't want to still fall for her so fast the way I do. Also, I can't seem to get rid of these marriage and love dreams. I want these dreams to go away. They create a little dissatisfaction as a single for me. Something I have struggled with for such a long time. I just want to follow God whether I am permanently single or permanently married.

How do I stop all these dreams and fantasies and just focus on God alone? Please help.


TyC113
 
pray pray pray!

You have to be prepared for marriage first and you must follow after GOD and not after women.

and AMEN yes a good Godly girl is hard to find,

i have found in over 2 years of looking that most "christian girls" (that i met) they are deceived by the devil, some are even outright wicked and there are some that have a Jezebel manipulative force on them and if a man is not careful and is not a strong man fully grounded in Christ and the Word of God by faith and prayer he can be easily destroyed or backslide by being led away into a woman's Jezebel web of manipulation (which often she herself is not even aware of!). Which results to: The man gradually becoming a sissy and the woman becoming more dominant and will even be a forceful head over the man: telling him what to do. This which is clearly forbidden by GOD. Yes, your faith can even be destroyed through a woman you have met. Do not underestimate this as it is a real force you are up against with some of these women (Jezebel = demonic).

Take your time, as a lot is nasty and wicked, and is not the all good what it seems to be and If you end up marrying the wrong kind of girl (the worldy and lascivious type, all heads stuck up in this world, control type and not being able to ever be truly submissive from the heart and mind always wanting to rebel that is: without co-habitation and deceitfully trying to rob you of your headship 1 Cor 11:3 within marriage then you will suffer for it greatly and it can even destroy you. Yea even DISASTER can happen! Some women they are so cunning and manipulative it is almost unnoticable they use their bodies as a tool to get what they want, most do it often that they do not even realise it, also mass media the songs being played the music the movies and all wickedness of this world and the feminism together all has deceived them into thinking it is ok to take control over a man and be promisious by it.

You can recognize these women as they always tend to keep you waiting (so as that they have a form of control) yes they usurp your male strength and they do this by cunning push and pull: one moment they keep you coming for more and that through your lust or by complimenting you, being nice and then after one moment they collapse resist you and keep you waiting again. They can also do this by their subtle remarks or behaviour in this is a more subtle form but most of the time their dresscode is immodest just like a worldly immodest women. Often wearing tight shirts showing off their breasts, shape and overal their bodies.

Proverbs 7
26 For she hath cast down many wounded: yea, many strong men have been slain by her.

Yes even strong men have been slain by her!

Ask God for HIS Choice of a woman, that is the best. And you also must be prepared for a good marriage too, you need to be a real man first. Taking the headship and the control and especially the authority and responsibility that comes with marriage and being the head of a woman in love. (1 Cor 11:3 - Eph. 5:22-33)

Diligence and faith!

Always test the girl, prove her out if she is really all that sold out for GOD (if she wants to continue to grow in grace) and will be a submissive and a good wife to you. A Godly and chaste woman will look for a strong and mature Godly man one who is the leader in the faith and of spiritual matters but unfortunately some good women do get seduced by the more dominant: (so it seems) easy going, fun, outgoing adventerous worldy and seemingly more "godly men" but who are not Godly at all but only outwardly but inward full of ill agenda to kill all the faith and Godliness that a young christian lady has only to enter in unto her and fornicate and commit all kinds of whoredoms, these women ought to be wiser and instead go Only for a Godly man....

And know that the devil hates all marriage and will do all he can especially to prevent strong christian couples to continue or to be established. For this reason also know that some christian men just aren't strong enough:

You must lead and she must follow. If you do not lead she cannot follow!

Do not move in haste! it is even by FAR better not to marry and stay single for all your life then to be married with a Jezebel woman!

I'm telling you the truth amen be careful you are at risk because you want to move too fast, never let the desire / lust win it over you because you will lose focus on discerning who the woman is, and fall prey to temptation and sin!

A man must always and at all times be in headship over his wife.

Proverbs 31:
3 Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.

And If you let a woman rule over you then satan will rule you as well.


God Bless you with His diligence amen and amen
 
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Thank you so much, DutchChristian. I do need to have God console my heart and have Him help me discern the difference between the right Godly type and the wrong type. Lust is a powerful thing that must require self-control, one of the F.O.T.S. But I fall victim to lust and find girls to be beautiful people. I guess I need to study what love is too. Sometimes it's easy to confuse love for infatuation or feelings. Confusing lust for love. That is problematic. I would like to be able to live whatever way possible and not have such a weakness on my hands. Hopefully it stops affecting me so much over time. Get some mentorship into my life as well.
 
Hello dear brother,

just want to say that:

there are many good and prudent christian girls too.

But we as men must be prepared to be the good and loving husband that the LORD desires us to be.

Being more and more like Jesus, He is our Perfect example.
 
Ever since I was a child, I have been a dreamer, you could say. I always dream about things and envision things. I always have had dreams of things, from what I wanted to be when I grew up to the woman of my dreams. To this day, I still have those dreams as a single 22 year old. I have always desired and dreamed of being in love with someone. One worldly thing that plague that I still haven't even been kissed at age 22. I guess it's silly for me to think about, but I have never had a girlfriend, and it has been a bother to me. I don't know. But I guess I have that desire to have some lovely girl (definitely of noble character) tell me that she loves me and wants to be my wife.

But the problem is that I am not that good/comfortable around women. I get a little nervous around women.

I always picture her and I saying I do and kissing on our wedding day. I picture my first kiss at times and imagine it to be so special. And I seem to look for a wife superficially, only interested in looks most of the time. Vanity. Anyway, I have so longfully wanted to find "my love" that I have basically been foolish with my heart, falling for girls who I didn't really have a relationship with. On top of that, I would be crazy about her really quickly and would fall in love too fast. These "crushes" resulted in getting my heart broken and plenty of pains.

But the thing of the matter is I seem to still fall for some pretty Godly girl and fall quite quickly. I don't want to still fall for her so fast the way I do. Also, I can't seem to get rid of these marriage and love dreams. I want these dreams to go away. They create a little dissatisfaction as a single for me. Something I have struggled with for such a long time. I just want to follow God whether I am permanently single or permanently married.

How do I stop all these dreams and fantasies and just focus on God alone? Please help.


TyC113

Maybe you should consult a spiritual counselor? I believe that'll help you. :) God bless you brother!
 
Consider yourself blessed. The wrong woman can really hurt you. Id prefer the curiosity of chastity over my past heart ache any day. The bible says to cast down imaginations. Don't let a fantasy woman become an idol. Focus on Jesus Christ, I'm preaching to myself too. ;)
 
@DutchChristian, i found your reply to this pose very interesting and it reignited a quest i have about how to be "truly submissive from the heart and mind", any thoughts or suggestions will be really appreciated, I am focusing on building my relationship with the Father and i pray that He will guide me through my quest. Thank you in advance.

Katee
 
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I too have been a dreamer all my life, and I didn't kiss a woman (other than my mom or grandmother and of course there was nothing romantic about that) until I was 25. I was also very shy and nervous around women. From my own experience, I can tell you that it was two things mostly that kept me from having any kind of relationship with women during that pre kiss time.

1. My nervousness made it hard for any woman to be at ease enough to want to be around me. That only changed when I didn't care anymore if someone was interested or not. More or less, when I became content with myself without feeling I had to have a woman to somehow make me more complete.

2. My own self-image was bad, and I didn't think any woman outside of my "dream world" would truly love me.

There is something about a "desperate" (in desiring a romantic relationship) person whether it be male or female that makes nearly everyone of the opposite sex shun that person. Learn to love yourself as God loves you, don't worry about "when" it will happen, don't focus on it in your daydreaming, and when you are more at ease with yourself and others, women will be more interested.
 
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