c_lugz
Member
- Joined
- Sep 8, 2015
- Messages
- 5
Its a blessing for me to even be alive at my mothers womb while I was being still developed my mother was in a car accident and I wasn't the only child i also had a companion in my moms belly which was my twin she lost but i can just imagine gods hand over my moms stomach protecting me it is by the grace of god I'm still standing . yeah i would have loved to have a sister especially my twin but ill meet her when its time and if she was here my younger brother who is just a few years younger then me wouldn't even exists because my mother was going to tie her tubes with her last two kids but to skip ahead i accepted Jesus when i was young i don't technically remember what age some where between 9-12 ...skipping ahead .. i was molested at a very young age thinking about it makes me sick of how a man three times of age can do such a thing but anyway skipping ahead after that had happen i was never the same i had strong mature feelings i couldn't understand and one night i was watching tv late after hours and i had seen something that would completely mess me up more something i never seen it was a show on sex and it was filled with lesbians so .. i learned about masturbation at a very young age and i began to be addicted and i would feel so disgusted and still continue to to do it i began to watch pornography and be addicted and it was to the point were i couldn't control it it was a drug to me like a high and i couldn't understand i was so deep in a hole with my addiction it was destroying me and making me feel lonely i just couldn't stop it was like attached me but skipping ahead i began to attend church 2013' and i still was doing it then the lord called me out on it i began bursting in to tears and whaling cause it was so hard for me and i knew exactly what he was speaking about it he said you know what you have to stop watching. and that was just it so the process began i struggled but god delivered me from pornography i cant remember to be honest how long i haven't seen it and thank you lord i don't want to know i feel like he has completely erased it this is really hard for me to talk about because its the first time i have actually talked about this but i was set free and i just want to say i was able to know the truth ! i remember crying so heavy because of the lies that the enemy has spoken into my i have been single most of my life and i though something was wrong with me and the enemy manipulated my mind into thinking that no man would love me and im not straight that i was worthless that i was fat at one point started taking pills so much a day just to be thin and i was i remember i will never forget this day at school i was in the bathroom by myself i had just got down washing my hands and as i was walking out i tuned back around to look at the bathroom mirror and I DIDNT REGONIZE MYSELF !! my shirt was so big on me i was me but i wasn't me ....skipping ahead god has healed my heart and he has kept me he has fulfilled that deep wound i had and i am a new person because of him ! i just want to say be honest with god he already knows are hearts and our struggles and what we are going through but CLING TO JESUS he is listening god is are strength our comft our joy and so much more i defiantly feel more complete in
