God? or my stupidity?

[Kakeb]

Okay...so I've been a long time creeper on the forums, but I'm just now joining to post this..

I am 17. Very much not into guys, I mean, I like guys, don't get me wrong, but my hobby is not dating, as it is for a lot of people. I've never been on a date. I want to kind of drift into love and not fall if that makes sense?

I have this friend, who is a guy, probably my best guy friend--ever. I never liked him in a romantic way. He asked me out once and I said, no, we'd be better off as friends. He had (according to others) liked me for a while before then too.

A few months ago, also a few months after he asked me out, I felt like God was telling me that was my husband--I do not remember it now, but I think it was a dream, because I woke up, and I was like...it's him.

But now I'm like...is this me being dumb and 17 and having a crush on my best friend? or was that really God? I never liked him before, he's not particularly attractive, or "my type", but I feel like I am falling for him. and I just don't know. Am I being a stupid teenage girl or is God speaking and working in this?

and if that is God, what am I supposed to do? just sit and wait for him to make a move? or tell him?

 

[Thiscrosshurts]

If you really want to know if it's from God then you don't need to do anything.

Proverbs 21:30 There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the LORD.
Proverbs 16:9 In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.
Proverbs 20:24 A man’s steps are directed by the LORD. How then can anyone understand his own way?

By the way it's awesome to know God is still making really smart 17 year olds.

 

[Brad Huber]

If I was him and liked you, I woudnt want you to be my wife unless "YOU" were truly interested. You arent. Be his friend, you would not be a good wife if you are not interested in him.

 

[Brighthouse]

I almost feel like Dear Abby here. LOL First sis,let us look at a few things that you spoke. I want to kind of drift into love, not fall into it.Next I feel like I am falling for him. I am speaking this to you in a very good nature! Not being mean,not judging in any way.i want to make this most clear since you have no idea who I either am,or how old I am either. lol All I wish to do, is cause you to think upon what you know far better then I!! Drifting to me is a word one would use,when they are not so sure if this is good for them or not.Kind of like a wave.( eph 4:14-16)

Let us say, someone presents you with an apple or an orange, and asked you which do you love the most? If you never partook of either,how could you truly answer this question?? Why good sister you couldn't! But many your age, as i used to be,never really cared, until the answer was truly needed in our life! The question is to you sis,is this answer truly needed for you yet? If i was a parent of yours,i would discuss this with you.Find out your thoughts,and help if you wished me to. Since you have never been out on a date of any kind,what are you looking for in a date?

What values do you have,that you hope a young man will also share? Where in your life, do you wish to go?And will this man help you to achieve the goal you have set for yourself? BIG QUESTIONS YES??? LOL I have great value on young people today myself.I know life is far more complicated, then it ever was for me as a young person. There is a reputation from others you consider. How others will view you? And does this matter to you? All question you must have confidence in yourself to answer.Are you mature enough to answer these questions??

Only you know for sure sis! Trust has never been a very strong quality with me in others,as a parent of a young lady,such as yourself,I would sure wish to protect you from lies and falsehood!! I know guys!! LOL I remember how I was at 17!! barely that is. LOL What is so important sis is this! How do you view yourself? Do you need others to be and stay confident?How is your relationship truly with our Lord Jesus?How much of his Word do you even care to know? Or keep deep with you,for your own life? This my dear sister again only you know!I judge you not in any way!!

I am only looking to cause you to think upon many things before you decide to drift is all. For when one drifts, only the wave knows where it will carry you,and the end of that ride may not be a pleasant, or as short as you hoped it would. Meaning sister you want to be on firm ground before moving forward in anything in your life.( psalm 40:2) Now let us address your feeling for a moment. Feeling and emotion are sure a great part of our life,but feeling and emotion can also mislead us as well.Hence why we look to our Lord in all areas of our life.Some choose to only do this, when they have to,such as was my case so many years ago.

I suffered much because i put my feeling and emotions first.First over another's, and first over what I even thought the Lord might care about. I sure do not say you are this way!! I was though! Feeling can drift like love, if love is looked at as drifting in and out of it. Please do look at this scripture sis,and understand what and who this is talking about.( eph 3:14-21) Love can as i learned the hard way myself! can only be looked it, after you have partaken of it! Remember the example of the orange and apple I spoke about earlier? God's love for YOU!!

That is what this scripture is dealing with! Do you understand what is the breath and length and height and depth of it sis? Only you know!But if you are unsure, then allow Holy Spirit to teach you( 1 john 2:27) from His Word,so that you are able to give something back you now have.( 1 cor 13:4-8) If you truly understand this,then my good sister you are indeed ready to date! And if not,then your feeling is drifting, and so will you if you step upon the drift. I hope I have helped your mind.i hope I have inspired you to read more of God's word in your life.

For the purpose of reading,is to make his Word part of your life. So that you to will be able to help another!!( Colossians 4:6) TRUE WISDOM< does not come from flesh,that kind of wisdom is here like dust on a table.But God's wisdom brings lasting truth, to both you,and another you may care about.And in his Word lies our truth,and if we take that truth,we always will have that truth, and stay free because we are abiding always in God's Word!! ( john 8:31-32). May every blessing always find you sister,and always find you most well! Your brother in Christ mark.

 

[Brad Huber]

Although you cant let feelings control your final decision on any matter, you must allow it be allowed into the conversation, for God created us to be feeling beings. To deny this is to deny how God made us to funtion. I remember the second gal I really liked, she was a good christian and I liked her a lot as a friend, but I had no desire for her in the physical sense. But we dated and I hoped I would begin to have feelings for her, but they never surfaced. It didnt work out, because she could sense the emotion wasnt there from me. What a horrible mistake we would have made if we chose to spend our lives together and never have the emotional blessing of knowing the other wants us physically. I am not advocating being lustful, just basic man vs woman desire. God created us sexual beings, its foolish to ignore our desire or lack of, completely.

 

[Christ4Ever]

Okay...so I've been a long time creeper on the forums, but I'm just now joining to post this..

I am 17. Very much not into guys, I mean, I like guys, don't get me wrong, but my hobby is not dating, as it is for a lot of people. I've never been on a date. I want to kind of drift into love and not fall if that makes sense?

I have this friend, who is a guy, probably my best guy friend--ever. I never liked him in a romantic way. He asked me out once and I said, no, we'd be better off as friends. He had (according to others) liked me for a while before then too.

A few months ago, also a few months after he asked me out, I felt like God was telling me that was my husband--I do not remember it now, but I think it was a dream, because I woke up, and I was like...it's him.

But now I'm like...is this me being dumb and 17 and having a crush on my best friend? or was that really God? I never liked him before, he's not particularly attractive, or "my type", but I feel like I am falling for him. and I just don't know. Am I being a stupid teenage girl or is God speaking and working in this?

and if that is God, what am I supposed to do? just sit and wait for him to make a move? or tell him?

First Kakeb, I'd like to welcome you to TJ (after much creeping around )

I pray that TJ will benefit with not only providing guidance in this issue, but in your walk in the Lord as well.

Now to the subject which caused to you to come out to the light of day here at TJ.

First you don't say what the age of the young man is (I call him young since putting both your ages together would still not equal mine ) or whether he knows the Lord Christ Jesus as his Savior as you do. These are important since Scripture does say that one should not "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?" 2 Corinthians 6:14

Next you don't say anything about parents or a Pastor at church, etc. Meaning more experienced (Like way older folks )guidance with people you might already know who are already married and might know of what they speak. This is important since the examples in our own families have a tendency to color what we look at. If parents are divorced, then marriage is not necessarily looked at by the children as something that can be positive and fulfilling to both people. The opposite is also true.

Now it could very well have been talking to you in a dream little sister. Notice that there is no time line associated with what was said. It's not like the voice said "YOU MUST MARRY HIM NOW!!!". At a younger age, time seems to either fly by (weekends) and drag on (school days). Keep in mind that it is not a requirement that you get married, or that if you do, that it must happen before say......you're 18 or 21! Personally I was 27 and my wife 21. We are about to celebrate 29 yrs of marriage this Sunday coming up. It's has had its ups & downs, probably like most marriages, but when did I know as a man, that this was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with? The minute I realized that I loved her for who she was, not who I wanted her to be, and that being separated from her would be harder than being with her was That is my advice to you. Patience. If God wants you marry this young man, and it sounds like your feelings towards him are changing, God will provide you with a surety of when the time is right for it and will probably work on the young man as well, to set the stage so to speak, for the perfect timing for a proposal. Days, weeks, months, years? Only God knows the time & the place if it is to occur. Focus on continuing to grow in your own walk with Christ Jesus, and the other parts of your life, school (If you're still going.), possible work, what shoes you're going to wear tomorrow (Just joking), and living a life that makes our Lord proud of you, and also whoever the blessed man might be who if it's God will one day be called your husband.

Praying for your guidance in this matter.

YBIC
C4E
Psalm 143:8 Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee.

 

[Kakeb]

Thank you all for yalls responses! They've really made me think...

I guess I wasn't really clear, I do have some feelings for him, they're just not overly emotional...
He is 18--and yes a strong Christian. and...lines up with all of my "requirements" I had written out after a purity retreat..
And when I said drift into, I meant more like my hope was that I wasn't one day just like "BAM" in love, but more of a gradual friendship turned into love, but of course, you do have to be sure of it like you said Brighthouse.
One of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite movies, Love Comes Softly is "love isn't always fireworks, sometimes, love just comes softly."

Brighthouse: re:what am I looking for in a date...well...to be totally cheesy, I'm not looking to really "date" anyone, unless I was intending to marry that person in the future. So that no ones time or emotions are wasted on pointless relationships. I mean I would date that person, but to me the actual "date" is les important than the person you are with..

And Christ4ever, both of our parents are Christians and both have good churches/pastors...if something does happen, they will definitely be involved. I had a pastor who has mentored me (but from a different church) tell me the other day I better text him as soon as I get a boyfriend so he can interrogate him.
Up until about a year ago I thought iwas going to be that girl who never married, or if she did, be at least 35...but who knows, really, except God. And yes..I very highly doubt if it ever happens he will propose within even the next year, I'm in no rush, or so I think, some days, and other days I am in a rush.

Ah. Yes. Patience and my lack of control . Something apparently the Lord has been trying to teach me lately...

 

[Christ4Ever]

You have an awesome foundation, with much support both in and out of your family Kakeb. You've been truly blessed in this. Continue to use the resources that God has provided you.

I love your perspective on dating, folks would do well to follow your lead.

I had to laugh when you mentioned that you might actually reach 35 before getting married. My mom was 35 when she did get married! Her intent was to enter into a convent to become a nun (She was from Cuba. Very Catholic at the time.). Glad that didn't happen

You take care of yourself, and as I said before, use the resources you have available to you, whenever you feel like time is just flying by or even if its at a standstill, continue to communicate with those who love you.

Stay faithful. You're in the best hands possible!
YBIC
C4E

Hebrews 10:36 For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.

 

[Gmart]

Hi Kakeb

I just wanted to share a thought on the situation. Although there is some good advise given here I feel that the most important advise has not been given yet. You say that you felt it was God who told you this boy was the one but it sounds like you may be unsure that it was really God. Why not just ask God if it was he who was giving that message and ask him to confirm or deny the message once again. God desires a relationship and speaks to all of us though few know what to listen for. Ask God to give you a clear answer, one that will be easily understood by you and trust on the Lord to bring it.

 

[farout]

I am 50 years older than you, and what might seem like your dream boat now could look like a ship wreck at 27. Don'y get so serious so soon. Married you can always get! but the gentleman God has for you is beyond what you could wish for. The real facts are when you hear some couple that is haveing been married 50 years and they say they have never had a cross word or an arguement, then either they lived apart or they both were dumb and blind. That just does not happen! Even in the best of marriages there will be some real hard times. Most marriages have more good times than bad. But some have some real hard times with sickness, money problems, and children God had planned, but you did not, being without work for some extended periood of time, being poor, struggling to feed your family. Then there are things like floods (like that just happendd in the East. There are ergent medical needs, car problems and no money, but this is judt a small list of things that hit you when your married. So think these over....are you really ready to get married right out of high school? Are these warm fuzzy feelings about what you think marriage is about really valid?My advice is don't date, make the interested guy court you! Unless a guy has a income that can suppoet you, and he is a for real geniune born again christian.....don't be misled. There is more to do for the Lord while you are single, you can build a nest egg to have yourself financially solevent, so when you do find the man you knows loves you, than you are ready to say yes. Learn to trust God by yourself, tithe, become a real solid woman of God. Married you always can get. Gods man may only be one in a million, let Jesus bring the man God has JUST FOR YOU, but be patient all this is in Gods time. this may sem old fasion, but God is old and He has fashioned the man just for you. Blessingsfarout

 

[eldon]

First off, do not tell him anything.
This corrupts any chance for the both of you to write down what God told you on a piece of paper, exchange them and see if the both of you got the same word at the same time.