He is Catholic and I love him

[imani]

Hi friends.

He has been a childhood friend. He moved to another part of the world and only have to meet each other once in a year when he visits. spoke to him about Jesus and he says he knows him and already accepted him. But he is catholic. Lately though we are apart, we have been speaking more often and I have learnt alot more from and about him. We can't go a day without talking and when he is offline, I do miss him. I thought he was very quiet, but I have met an even more interesting and talking side of him and I know that he is intelligent and very objective. Plus he is handsome. I have a strong attraction and love for him and I just don't know what to do. I look at him and I know that he loves me too! I think we can really be a good pair. But he / or I am stuck. Stuck in a rut of stereotypes- does he know what it means to love the way christ loves the church? Can he be saved and a catholic? I don't even know. Why isn't he asking me to be his girlfriend? I I think we shall never be anyway because of religion, he comes from a more solid home while I continue to struggle with the concept of familiy because I never really saw the best example while growing up. We are not from the cultural setttings at home. Why am I in such a torturous situation?

I need some sane and scriptural advice

 

[Dreamer]

Hi, imani. I am reading this and thinking and praying and will write some more shortly. Just wanted to let you know I have seen your post and it's important to us and you are important to God, you and all of your needs both small and large are a concern to your Heavenly Father, and He wants to bring more good into your life as you grow closer to Him. The question for now, I guess, is will this childhood friend/prospective boyfriend bring you closer to Christ, or remove you to a more distant place from your Lord. Perhaps you are to cultivate your friendship while he is still not seeming to be prone to ask you to be his girlfriend. The type that want you to be a girlfriend right away are the ones to watch out for, for they are usually up to no good. I will pray for you and come back later to post. God bless!!!

 

[Dreamer]

Imani, I don't know his or your age. I know that there is time though. There is today and there is most likely another day. There is no hurry into rushing into a "relationship". And as far as to whether he is a Christian or not, this verse says: [The jailer] "brought them out, and said, Sirs, what must I do to be saved? And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house" (Acts 16:30-31),

If your catholic friend has called out to the Lord to save him, then he is saved. Is he growing? You seem to be questioning whether your friend is growing in Christ, or not, so perhaps he is not being taught in his church how to grow. Only God knows. You can pray for him, minister to him, and enjoy communicating with him and let God be God over this friendship and let God decide if it's to be more than that, and let God decide upon timing. I can tell you these things because I go through them myself, little sister, and I am not perfect, but I am forgiven and redeemed and bought by the blood of the Lamb. Walk wisely. Choose wisely. Speak His name daily and give HIm praise and honor in all things, including friendships. Praise the Lord!

 

[imani]

Dreamer,

Thank you for your words now. Can't wait to get more from you. I wish God would just clarify some things to me and give me peace. We are in our early 30s and we have been friends for almost half our lives! Yes, I feel that he is not growing because something seem more permissible in religion compared to a relationship with Jesus. That is bothering me, I feel that the message of salvation or his version was mixed up with some dogma. I don't know . I can't go calling out to him and saying this is wrong and this is right, I just want him to see and learn from what God is doing in my life and probably as we speak somethings could come to light. I just don't like to be in a catch 22 situation. I feel that if I spoke to him about what I feel is going on I will be putting him under unnecessary pressure . I also know that we come from different cultural backgrounds that may be an issue too. I feel like Im in love with someone who is wrong for me. However, I love your advise and I will take each bit in stride. keep praying for us!

 

[Dreamer]

You make me smile. You have a sweet spirit. You care for people, and it comes out in your words. Will be praying for you and concerning your hopes for this relationship. Just keep putting it in God's hands, honey.

 

[amadeus2]

Imani, don't let your own experiences or the beliefs of others decide you against guy only because he is Catholic. Consider carefully the following verse:

"And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love." I Cor 13:13

This love not what too many people in our world today call love.

God is Love!

Look now back in the same chapter for a description of Love:

"Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;

does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;

does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;

bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." I Cor 13:4-7

Those verses describe the Love which God is and which was manifested in Jesus when He walked this planet as a man 2000 years ago.

Those attributes are not seen much in people, but they are seen. Look for them in yourself and look for them in the man of whom you speak. Ask God to help you see, what God wants you to see rather only what your own carnality may see.

I grew up as a Catholic although I have been out of there for 40 years. I presently know some Catholics who as I see it (and I do believe I have "eyes to see") who manifested the attributes more clearly than many of the non-Catholics who call themselves Christians. Don't marry the label. If you marry, marry the man who is loving God and loving his neighbor. Are those not the two greatest commandments of which Jesus spoke?

Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

This is the first and great commandment.

And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets." Matt 22:37-40

Don't look for or expect the impossible, for all of us too often may fall short of the glory of God. Jesus did not, but in a man look for a man who is seeking to grow closer to God. Yes, a Catholic can and should be doing that.

Will you be unequally yoked you marry him with him being Catholic and you not? The unequal yoke can be established with a man who goes regularly to the same church building as you.

I will be keeping and your Catholic friend in prayer. Be certain to pray for God's will in the situation. That must be what you really want. You must want to please God more than yourself.

 

[imani]

Amadeus,

Thank you for your words. I like especially that we should focus on the Love of God and whether or not it is reflected in our lives. I know God certainly doesn't look at our religious beliefs, but looks at our hearts.
So ideally, I shouldn't mind that he is Catholic as long as he has the fear of God in him. But then I am just concerned that loyalty to a religion in itself makes practicing Catholicism and being a believer at the same time quite a double standard. Its like being the lukeworm church in the Revelations. That means that he could easily compromise on many things in the name of religion and all. See when we speak about God, I have the evangelical perspective and he has quite the caholic one. I even worry that although I like him, even as friends, we are probably going to have detailed arguments or discussions about God that could be frustrating . It is just a complex situation. I was just going to keep praying but limit my conversations with him because the more we speak, the closer we become. However I also get that you think I am making a farce over what should be dependent on God's will other than whether one is a catholic or not, which I have to actually pay close attention to. Thank you very much for your kind advice , I really appreciate your wisdom.

 

[amadeus2]

Amadeus,

Thank you for your words. I like especially that we should focus on the Love of God and whether or not it is reflected in our lives. I know God certainly doesn't look at our religious beliefs, but looks at our hearts.
So ideally, I shouldn't mind that he is Catholic as long as he has the fear of God in him. But then I am just concerned that loyalty to a religion in itself makes practicing Catholicism and being a believer at the same time quite a double standard. Its like being the lukeworm church in the Revelations. That means that he could easily compromise on many things in the name of religion and all.

Yes, he could, but so could anyone whose heart we really do not know. Perhaps in a very sense you already know him better than you know any other person. This is good, but as you already seem to know, it is not necessarily enough.

See when we speak about God, I have the evangelical perspective and he has quite the caholic one. I even worry that although I like him, even as friends, we are probably going to have detailed arguments or discussions about God that could be frustrating .

If you have you been around this or any of most of the other Christian forums long enough, you will have seen probably many "detailed arguments or discussions", which seemingly accomplish little for someone who already has his mind made up.

he secret to living for God and the secret to a good and successful marriage is Love rather than winning an argument.

Paul wrote that "only God gives the increase". If God is not in our words and the listeners heart is not open to "hear" the words which were into someone's mouth by God, who will hear or understand them?.

Jesus always spoke the Word of God yet He most certainly offended some people. Not everyone who listened heard what God was saying when Jesus spoke. Where were all of the "believers" who had eaten the bread broken by Him when they were nailing Him to the cross? Even His closest disciples ran away for fear of their carnal lives.

It is just a complex situation. I was just going to keep praying but limit my conversations with him because the more we speak, the closer we become.

As long as you are able to control your situation through the Lord, you ultimately have not worries. Unfortunately sometimes when the spirit is willing the flesh is weak. I believe you will do the right thing because you were concerned enough to ask for help and you are admittedly being cautious.

However I also get that you think I am making a farce over what should be dependent on God's will other than whether one is a catholic or not, which I have to actually pay close attention to. Thank you very much for your kind advice , I really appreciate your wisdom.

It is easy for me or anyone to say that we should always trust in God rather than any man or even ourselves. To actually do that is sometimes quite a bit more difficult. I do speak from my own experience which includes many mistakes. Y

You may never marry the man, but if that turns out to be the way of it, let it be because you believe that is what God desires from you.

 

[imani]

You may never marry the man, but if that turns out to be the way of it, let it be because you believe that is what God desires from you.

Hahahaa, boils down to this. I am struggling to work with this one because it could be a truth. Maybe we are just to meant to be good friends and I'm jumping the gun. Then since we are supposed to be good friends, why do I have my emotions allover the place? Thank you for you kind advice!

 

[AbbysAunt]

Hi imani,

I read your post and wanted to respond. My sister and friend our God isn't a religion. He is creater of heaven and earth and everyone upon,
above and in it. He is our Father, best friend, Savior, teacher, and everything we need. There are many religions out there there are Methodists,
Catholics, Protestants, Baptists to name a few and then there are the nondenominational churches. There are many who base if someone is saved
on what religion they are or what church they go to. They forget that it's not about these things it's about whether you know Jesus Christ and have
given your life to Him and have a personal relationship with Him. You said this man has told you he knows Jesus and has accepted Him into His life
and is saved and you question that because He is catholic...Let's see Him as Jesus does, Jesus sees him as His child and loves him and in the end
when we stand before our Lord He isn't going to judge us by what religion we were in our lives but on this Did we love and honor Him while we were
upon this earth.

It sounds like you love this man and have been praying over him and for him and I urge you to keep doing so and also pray that God reveals to you
His truth about this situation between you and your young man. Don't let anyone's stereotyping make this decision for you, but instead let it be made
by the voice of truth which is our Lord Jesus. Rest in Him and be assured that God has this all under control.

I'll be lifting you and your young man up in Prayer.

God bless you
AA

 

[Rev T.S.Perkins]

The best example of family is the family of God ( at least it should be ) God accepts us as we should accept each other , my wife was catholic when we met , 17 yrs plus and we never ask the Catholic Church to bless our marriage because God did ! Don't let labels stop you from doing as God intends for you .let him know how you feel and pray God guide you and you're words . Let The Lord lead you're heart you won't Go wrong ....Rev

 

[imani]

The best example of family is the family of God ( at least it should be ) God accepts us as we should accept each other , my wife was catholic when we met , 17 yrs plus and we never ask the Catholic Church to bless our marriage because God did ! Don't let labels stop you from doing as God intends for you .let him know how you feel and pray God guide you and you're words . Let The Lord lead you're heart you won't Go wrong ....Rev

Hi Rev and everyone who has been praying for me about this.

The young man spoke to me and asked me out... He wants us to date, give it a try, court and one day we can get married. It has been days of excitement and happiness, knowing that we are two people who love each other. We recently got to meet and it was so magical! I felt like we had a connection for life. Thankfully I believe in reserving intimacy for marriage, but I would have put my money on it that if he didn't respect me that I would have been in real trouble. See, it seems in some beliefs you can get away with somethings . Anyway once I brought up the bit about the difference in our beliefs, he said I was bordering on racism or being judgemental. I I feel a distance growing between us. I feel like he loves being Catholic and would love his wife to be one only for me to point out this difference. I think I should apologise for what I said and just stay away from all this emotional drama. I wonder why I would fall in love with someone who fits in so well and then religion comes in the way. However I am hoping and praying that this is what God wants for us and if he does there is a way he will make all things fall in place. I am just praying that we stay together and that is hurdle is taken away from me by God!

 

[amadeus2]

Hi Rev and everyone who has been praying for me about this.

The young man spoke to me and asked me out... He wants us to date, give it a try, court and one day we can get married. It has been days of excitement and happiness, knowing that we are two people who love each other. We recently got to meet and it was so magical! I felt like we had a connection for life. Thankfully I believe in reserving intimacy for marriage, but I would have put my money on it that if he didn't respect me that I would have been in real trouble. See, it seems in some beliefs you can get away with somethings . Anyway once I brought up the bit about the difference in our beliefs, he said I was bordering on racism or being judgemental. I I feel a distance growing between us.

In the case of loving God, God must come first, ahead of any local or organizational church affiliation or connection. It might be possible to iron out differences after marriage, but waiting could have bad consequences. For example, what happens to any children? For the marriage of a Catholic to a non-Catholic to have RCC approval there must be an agreement by both to raise all children Catholic. Also, if neither of you is willing to change your affiliation, would or could both of you attend separate services and remain a happily married couple?

I feel like he loves being Catholic and would love his wife to be one only for me to point out this difference. I think I should apologise for what I said and just stay away from all this emotional drama. I wonder why I would fall in love with someone who fits in so well and then religion comes in the way. However I am hoping and praying that this is what God wants for us and if he does there is a way he will make all things fall in place. I am just praying that we stay together and that is hurdle is taken away from me by God!

I don't want rock your boat further, but proceed carefully. If you really love God first and intend to keep it that way, God will direct you, but the result may be something very painful for you.

Jesus would not compromise to please even his closest followers: "From that time many of his disciples went back, and walked no more with him. Then said Jesus unto the twelve, Will ye also go away?" John 6:66-67

Jesus did not want to lose followers or friends, but there was no room for compromise. Avoiding the issue now for your own comfort could result in something more than uncomfortable.

I will be praying for you in this situation.

 

[imani]

Already hurting! Well, I have decided to pray for him, for us and wait on God to! I suspect you are seeing a break up, or at least recommending one , but you are trying to be kind. Just tell me to run, if that is what must be done...!

 

[Fragrant Grace]

Already hurting! Well, I have decided to pray for him, for us and wait on God to! I suspect you are seeing a break up, or at least recommending one , but you are trying to be kind. Just tell me to run, if that is what must be done...!

Greetings @imani

I will be blunt here sister, because to avoid sharing the truth would be wrong.
Please know I am sharing this with you in love not to condemn you

The catholic religion is a false man-made religion. It deviates from the word and is anti-Christian (no matter how nice or devout it's practices may seem)

No matter how strong, how wonderful or how loving your relationship with this man seems.....it will never work or be blessed by the Lord, unless he turns to Jesus as his Lord and Saviour and renounces his catholiscism. Until that time he has no place in your life as a boyfriend or potential husband

I believe the devil uses 'love' (and 'sexual attraction') to attempt to seduce people away from the Lord....because it seems so nice and so innocent....but it is not innocent and the candy coating of 'love and attraction' are just deceptive ways to attempt to tempt someone away from the Lord

But take a look at the word of the Lord sister:

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness
2 Corinthians 6:14

Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.
James 4:4

Dear sister the Lord loves you and He knows your future and has the best plans for you.
Commit this man to the Lord and walk away from him.
Seek the Lord about a future husband to be.....knowing the He will lead you in His ways because His word says so

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6

My times are in Thy hand
Psalm 31:15

 

[amadeus2]

Already hurting! Well, I have decided to pray for him, for us and wait on God to! I suspect you are seeing a break up, or at least recommending one , but you are trying to be kind. Just tell me to run, if that is what must be done...!

Sorry for your pain. The direction of prayer and waiting on God is the best way to go.

Do I see a breakup? Not certainly, but I do see it as a possibility. Be prepared for the worst, remembering that if it comes down to that no man is worth giving up God for...

I am, yes, trying to be kind, but the decisions and the resultant natural and eternal consequences are yours. My only definite recommendation is to stay on the Lord's side,

As to whether you should run from this man, I would only suggest that if he was trying to back you into a corner or you believed it was the only way you could control the situation .

As I believe indicated before, I would not cast a person aside only because he was Catholic. I know a few Catholics, who are, from what I can see, serving God better than most non-Catholic Christians I know. I am not saying that the RCC would necessarily consider them good Catholics. I also have met some non-Catholic Christians who are, from what I can see, very close to God. Are they more in numbers or in quality? Who can judge that but God?

People will harshly criticize the Catholic Church, but few, if any Protestant churches I have encountered have shown me anything better... as groups. But, such criticism without full knowledge edifies few, if it edifies any. We must meet people one person at the time and lean heavily on God in determining how much each one can be trusted.

I am continue to include you in my prayers.

 

[imani]

Now I had better close this conversation. Thank you all for praying for me. This has been my place to speak out when no one around me has a faint idea of what I am going through. I will leave it all to God. This is also one of my best friends and I love him anyway. So am going to focus on what we have had over the years as long as I have made my line of thought clear and celebrate our friendship with an effort to learn more about his view of being a christian. I genuinely look at this as a step to something new and different. Not like am stirring clear from a sinner because there is non righteous. He is still my friend and we have a lot to share!. What I have learnt from this is there is quite a thin line between the truth and alternative interpretations from the word of God. The truth sometimes is in our hearts and the word of comes to comfirm that truth and I am glad to have been surrounded by great minds like you all to help me through this. Now I hope the thread can encourage others like me to make the decision not to compromise, and to stand firm and not to allow to be miserable over what can be dealt with if you want. So thank you people, my hurt, isn't that I crossed the line, is that I never got to standout and show off who my God was so that my friend could see the difference between our views of the same God. And for that God has told me that I am forgiven actually was forgiven and there is a new opportunity to still keep this God conversation going. I have loved all the posts here and of course the tones tell alot about how we view God. Just never ever allow the devil to deceive you that God has already signed your fate, just bse you tripped. So am picking up my mat of victory, will do abit of mourning like David did, but it will not be for even seven days! I shall get up eat, drink, wipe the tears, smile and continue to pray for my best friend to know God. And that day shall surely come and who knows it could be that that will be the sole purpose for our friendship. I am not praying, while peeping in queue hoping that he gets to have a stronger relationship with God so that he turns and returns to me so we get married and live happily ever after .... what if God has a totally different plan. My heart is free and my feelings for him are genuine, but am not going to keep fingers crossed 'watching and waiting'. I now get it... after Jesus in Gethsemane asked God to take the cup of suffering from him at least three times and He didnt, it ceased to become what Jesus would have wished for... it became all about what is God's will. I have read too many posts about girls weeping so much over these men or vice versa , but I guess it is an opportunity to thank God that he has further clarified his place in our lives and such events are landmarks in our walk with him. like walking in the valley of the shadow of death, you know that you know that God is the alpha and omega in your life. So then, what could have made me more anxious, miserable and sad and complicated my life has brought me closer to God and helped me understand a lot more than I thought. Like Joseph said what could have been meant for bad, God has turned it around. So hooray! I shall leave this thread open so I shall return to testify about how God has touched my friend. If he finds love and gets married to the person meant for him , I shall return to testify. Thanking God for this new perspective.... God bless you all and may the joy of the Lord be your strength!

 

[amadeus2]

Always give God the glory!

 

[LoveStory]

The catholic religion is a false man-made religion. It deviates from the word and is anti-Christian (no matter how nice or devout it's practices may seem)

No matter how strong, how wonderful or how loving your relationship with this man seems.....it will never work or be blessed by the Lord, unless he turns to Jesus as his Lord and Saviour and renounces his catholiscism. Until that time he has no place in your life as a boyfriend or potential husband

I see it differently. Catholics do believe Jesus is their Lord and Savior. Even though a denomination may misinterpret some of God's word, it doesn't mean they're damned to hell. The important thing is Jesus. I don't limit how God can use religion to reach people. We all start out as spiritual babies. God can still work through the different denominations that appeal to the baby Christian. I trust the Holy Spirit reveals the truth in time as he did for me.

 

[amadeus2]

I see it differently. Catholics do believe Jesus is their Lord and Savior. Even though a denomination may misinterpret some of God's word, it doesn't mean their damned to hell. The important thing is Jesus. I don't limit how God can use religion to reach people. We all start out as spiritual babies. God can still work through the different denominations that appeal to the baby Christian. I trust the Holy Spirit reveals the truth in time as he did for me.

Amen sister! I grew up Catholic although out of it now for close to 50 years. I would never deny the good things I learned while a young Catholic from some people who loved God. It was as a Catholic that I first recognized and acknowledged God. The key is that we must continue to grow from a 'milk' diet to a 'meat' diet. If we are stifled in the place we are, God may require us to come out of that place, but that is God's business until He talks to our hearts making it our business as well.