Help: Dating a Non-Christian

[Reece]

Okay, so I know that we are supposed to date Christians. It says it in the bible, but during the time that I started dating, I was not actively seeking God and practically turned my back on him.
However this guy I am dating likes to discuss sexual things, and I know he doesn't believe in God, he has a kid already.
Not only that, but he's starting to believe he's to old to have kids, and wants to have them before he gets older, and I am not ready to have kids till I am older, nor do I want to get married at this point.

I don't want to break up with him though, honestly. But I don't know what to do, because it seems like all the signs point to breaking up. D:I guess Part of me is hoping I can convert him to Christianity, but I dont really talk about that with him.

 

[PrinceAfrica]

A lion and a Cow could never live in the same space, why? For they have different natures - the nature of the lion is the eat the Cow and the nature of the Cow is to eat grass.

I hate to be the one to confirm this for you, but you will have to break up with him. For his desires and focus are not the same as yours. Therefore there will be always conflict between the two of you. Whether it comes to sex, morality, and other life issues you two will come from 2 different tracks. 2 things can come out of this

1. You compromise your values to keep him (sleep with him... etc etc) or
2. Divorce him (break up) and walk with Jesus, until the LORD brings you the mate you need and deserve.

Amen

 

[koge06]

This is just my advice but I think a relationship with a non-Christian will lead you away from the relationship that you want with God. In a relationship you want the person to bring out the best in you and support you in your journey in becoming the person you want to be. A lot of times you become like the people you hang around and set similar goals/standards for yourself and when you are so closely tied with a non-Christian then often times your focus gets led away from God instead of towards Him.

As for marriage I think you definitely should only marry another Christian. I think that in a marriage the closer the two get to God then the closer they can become but that can't happen if one of the two does not believe in God. If you want him to convert you will have to talk to him about it and I think you also have to take a break from your relationship until/if he finds God for himself. How will he take how you feel seriously if there are no real consequences to him staying the same.

Anyway that's the end of my spiel. I say this from the experience of having a long relationship with a non-Christian where I had to get to the point of asking myself if I wasn't going to marry the person then what was the point. I also had difficulty talking about it with him and I thought that was clear that something was wrong if I couldn't talk openly and honestly about something so important to me. Good luck!

 

[humbletruth]

boyfriend confusion

I want to thank you for your candid responce to the question about whether or not its a good idea to date a non-christian. I am now dating a old boyfriend and childhood friend. He is a great guy....layed back and very nice to hang out with. But I dont know his full views on God. We talk every now and than but not to any depth.

You pointed out the fact that if marriage is not in the future than what is the point of continuing to date him and his beliefs could hender my relationship with my creator.

Thanks for the post and the advise.........I have a lot to pray and think about

 

[bamagrad05]

No Offense

He has a kid already? And he seems to be much older than you. I think you should really rise your standards. If you have come to Christ, and he remains outside and is always talking sexual, its clear that you have already had sex with this much older man.

I think it really boils down to whats more important to you, your Faith or your love life. You seem very young, so you will have no trouble finding a Christian man, with NO KIDs, who wants to wait till marriage for sex even though you have not.

Good Luck

 

[Giggles4God]

Dating someone in the hopes that they will become Christians is NOT a good idea! They can easily turn you away from God.

You can be a friend to someone and help them become Christian, but dating for this reason or as another reason it not good...nope.

Personally, I believe in courting where the reason to court is to marry. Why else would you want to get to know someone?

Pray. Pray. Pray.

 

[bamagrad05]

I agree with Gen

I am 28, I want to get married myself. And if I look for a non Christian who isnt baptisted that is lack putting that person ahead of God.

I am not going to be arrogant, because I know the good Lord can send someone my way that will make me buckle on my faith, to see will I stand the test but I also hope others in the Faith, would encourage not to be stupid.

You dont want to WILLFULLY marry a non believer, then run around saying, God said I can remarry again because hes a non believer. Jesus Christ is not to be mocked.

I struggled with porn and masturbation myself, I have stayed away from porn, but the urge for sex still is VERY STRONG, but I have stopped masturbating. Tell the dude to pray, its clear he knows hes wrong, but his conversation on sex with a person of another sex, should not happen untill you are headed to your honeymoon villa.

Thats the problem with having sex out of wedlock, it COMPLICATES THINGS.

 

[lanie0323]

Dating someone in the hopes that they will become Christians is NOT a good idea! They can easily turn you away from God.

You can be a friend to someone and help them become Christian, but dating for this reason or as another reason it not good...nope.

Personally, I believe in courting where the reason to court is to marry. Why else would you want to get to know someone?

Pray. Pray. Pray.

I agree with this. We sometimes thought that dating a non-Christian guy/girl and helping them get to know Jesus is good.. The intention is good, but sometimes, instead of leading them to Jesus, it is the other way that happens. We are being led away from God.

Ask God for courage. Courage to do what is right in His eyes. Pray. Ask help from your godly friends.
I hope the Holy Spirit will lead you in making the correct decision. :embarasse

 

[spirit1st]

You must decide what is more important! A relationship with GOD as Father or living on the dark side! Of course the more darkness we allow? The more we get?
until we are dead spiritually and doomed?
It amazing , how one mistakes can take us to hell?
Or One good move can lead us to joy and peace and eternal life!

The best I ever felt on this planet was just talking to the LORD JESUS and HE to me!
Nothing can even come close here!

It up to us, the choice we make! But it can be so important !


Rom 10:9 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
Rom 10:10 For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.