I am too busy to get married.

[pookiejr]

Does any one else feel this way; or did anyone else feel this way before the got married?

It's not as much my working so much as it is my extra curricular activities with other believers (and by this I mean actual fellowship, talking about the word and such).

I would not want to give that us to make someone's dinner :happy: Unless, or course, I am cooking for other believers.

While I believe that there are men out there (possibly even *gasp* single ones) that enjoy assembling and fellowship as much as I do, but I haven't seen many. So with that in mind would "I'm too busy to get married" be an acceptable answer to give people who ask why I am still single?

Heart
Nai

 

[Holly Hobbie]

Deepends on how long you want to stay busy . There are good men out there that want the biblical felllowship as well as the personal......my advice and take this from someone who is 17 yrs older than my picture portrays. Is to make sure first of all give it to God (I wish I did) but I jumped into two relationships that were only Christian enough to please me and turned out to be night mares. One following God the way he sees fit not the way God would want him too. I married a man that I thought loved God but had so many skelatons in his closet .
What I should have done is let God lead and trust him as I would suggest you do that.
There is nothing wrong with not wanting to marry right now especially when your young but don't close your heart and mind to it in case it is Gods will for you to date or be married.
Quiet frankly even though I am in my 40's I don't see myself dating ever again but only God know
I

 

[pookiejr]

Deepends on how long you want to stay busy . There are good men out there that want the biblical felllowship as well as the personal......my advice and take this from someone who is 17 yrs older than my picture portrays. Is to make sure first of all give it to God (I wish I did) but I jumped into two relationships that were only Christian enough to please me and turned out to be night mares. One following God the way he sees fit not the way God would want him too. I married a man that I thought loved God but had so many skelatons in his closet .
What I should have done is let God lead and trust him as I would suggest you do that.
There is nothing wrong with not wanting to marry right now especially when your young but don't close your heart and mind to it in case it is Gods will for you to date or be married.
Quiet frankly even though I am in my 40's I don't see myself dating ever again but only God know
I

Thank you for sharing from your personal experience, not every one is humble enough to admit when they did wrong. I agree, I almost fell into the same trap, started off appearing to be Jesus loving, but ended up being... well... "himself" after a while. I keep hearing that "the best person to marry is your best friend" but there are not very many people (in particular/in this case, single males who are my age) who actually want to do right, or are at point of wanting to settle down (either they want to half heartedly serve God or evangelize without distraction)

So, while I do have the occasional "suitor" pop up. I find that you advice to let God do it is best. If I stay single; praise God, if not,
...
...
...
... he better be good enough for me to say praise God

 

[amadeus2]

Even a man who does believe correctly and works to stay on God's side can stumble. Believe me I know. Nevertheless, what I have read so far on this thread sounds good. If it is God's purpose for you to marry, He will provide the opportunity and the man.

Remember the young man David the son of Jesse. He knew that God had anointed him to be king of Israel, but he refused to let himself get ahead of God. His companions wanted him to take advantage of opportunities to kill Saul who was already the King. David refused to kill Saul or to let his companions do it. God knew what He had in store for David and He knows what He has in store for you. Stay on the Lord's side and listen carefully to what He is speaking to your heart. Remember that others besides God will be speaking to you:

"To him the porter openeth; and the sheep hear his voice: and he calleth his own sheep by name, and leadeth them out.

And when he putteth forth his own sheep, he goeth before them, and the sheep follow him: for they know his voice" John 10:3-4

 

[Hekuran]

Any honest answer is an acceptable answer.

And you'd also want to consider the intent of the question and the questioner in the way make your response.

 

[Lanolin]

Sounds honest to me.

The only other answer I had for this type of question was the ones that asked me were crazy so I said no.

Pookie I think people these days who both work and then marry carry on working and then use the money they earn to buy dinner at a restaurant so they dont have to cook.

Well I dont know. I know of one couple, she may be an exception, she had two children, she went back to full time work and left her husband to stay at home with them as well as roping on her parents to look after them.

The only other way I know of it working is if one works day shift and the other night shift so someones always at home with children which is what my parents did. But that means you hardly ever see each other. I really dont know what my parents did together before they had us children, whether they even went on dates or had fun. Its all mystery. I think dad just wanted someone to cook his dinner.

If you love cooking dinner I suppose it could work but it might get old after a few years of 7 days a week and the same food all the time cos some men just want to eat sausages and dont care as long as its meat.

Oh actually there was some other answers I thought of.

1) There is nothing wrong with being single.
2) I am happy being single
3) why do you ask
4) what's it to you?

4) is for busybodies.

Even a man who does believe correctly and works to stay on God's side can stumble. Believe me I know. Nevertheless, what I have read so far on this thread sounds good. If it is God's purpose for you to marry, He will provide the opportunity and the man.

Remember the young man David the son of Jesse. He knew that God had anointed him to be king of Israel, but he refused to let himself get ahead of God. His companions wanted him to take advantage of opportunities to kill Saul who was already the King. David refused to kill Saul or to let his companions do it. God knew what He had in store for David and He knows what He has in store for you. Stay on the Lord's side and listen carefully to what He is speaking to your heart. Remember that others besides God will be speaking to you:

"To him the porter openeth; and the sheep hear his voice: and he calleth his own sheep by name, and leadeth them out.

And when he putteth forth his own sheep, he goeth before them, and the sheep follow him: for they know his voice" John 10:3-4

Pookie if God told you for sure that you would marry, then hold on to that, maybe hes keeping him under wraps for now but if He hasnt, then dont worry about it. He might give you a vision or calling for something else but it has to be from Him.

I think many people find their spouses through friends or family. At least you know they can vouch for their character. Please dont make the mistake many foolish people make which is advertise for someone on the internet!!! Or go to a bar or meet market!!! Or through work cos that would be just weird. Your my boss and also my husband..did I sign up for wife or secretary?

 

[pookiejr]

Pookie I think people these days who both work and then marry carry on working and then use the money they earn to buy dinner at a restaurant so they dont have to cook.

Well I dont know. I know of one couple, she may be an exception, she had two children, she went back to full time work and left her husband to stay at home with them as well as roping on her parents to look after them.

The only other way I know of it working is if one works day shift and the other night shift so someones always at home with children which is what my parents did. But that means you hardly ever see each other. I really dont know what my parents did together before they had us children, whether they even went on dates or had fun. Its all mystery. I think dad just wanted someone to cook his dinner.

If you love cooking dinner I suppose it could work but it might get old after a few years of 7 days a week and the same food all the time cos some men just want to eat sausages and dont care as long as its meat.

I like going out to eat, but cooking is fun to me. Either way, both of us (If God permits marriage) working would not be a problem the only thing is not wanting to take too much time away from fellowship. when kids are involved it is a different story...

If I were to marry, I would want to stay home if there were children involved. I would like to homeschool until the 6th grade maybe.

I like cooking, I just dont like that my cooking gets wasted, I don't always want to eat what I cook, I enjoy cooking as a hobby. (not that God did not give me gifts in the area of cooking, but sometimes I want to cook bacon, but I dont feel like eating bacon [even though bacon is natures candy to me]; sometimes I want to eat asparagus, but I want to bake a pie.)

I think I would like cooking meat everyday, but idk.

 

[pookiejr]

Oh actually there was some other answers I thought of.

1) There is nothing wrong with being single.
2) I am happy being single
3) why do you ask
4) what's it to you?

4) is for busybodies.

Lol!

 

[pookiejr]

Any honest answer is an acceptable answer.

And you'd also want to consider the intent of the question and the questioner in the way make your response.

Makes sense to me.

 

[Lanolin]

I like going out to eat, but cooking is fun to me. Either way, both of us (If God permits marriage) working would not be a problem the only thing is not wanting to take too much time away from fellowship. when kids are involved it is a different story...

If I were to marry, I would want to stay home if there were children involved. I would like to homeschool until the 6th grade maybe.

I like cooking, I just dont like that my cooking gets wasted, I don't always want to eat what I cook, I enjoy cooking as a hobby. (not that God did not give me gifts in the area of cooking, but sometimes I want to cook bacon, but I dont feel like eating bacon [even though bacon is natures candy to me]; sometimes I want to eat asparagus, but I want to bake a pie.)

I think I would like cooking meat everyday, but idk.

I think homeschooling would be fun. Can do more cooking at home than you can at school. I just remember soggy sandwichs at school and eating lunch by myself cos I wasnt tough enough to play with other children. They liked to play bullrush. I would hang out at the library cos everywhere else was too noisy.

Lol. Just brush up on your teaching skills if you going to homeschool though. I cant imagine my mum trying to teach me, she didnt have much patience if I got things wrong.

If you going to marry you need some training on how to be a wife from a good christian lady who is older and been happily married for many many years. In the bible in titus thats what they are meant to train you to love your husband.

I missed out on that, my mum just wanted me to work and then look after her. I think it doesnt occur to her that maybe I would like to be married one day. But obviously to someone who is worthy. My mum thinks shes the boss and henpecks my dad. She will probably deny it but I see it a lot! My dad avoids her as much as possible when shes like that. Lol

I try telling mum not to be hard on dad as he does so much but shes not really thankful and just sees all his faults and she does this to me as well. I hope if I ever marry I wont carry on those traits as that is quite common amongst women when they marry go get puffed up and think they can boss their husbands around.

I think thats why none of us children are married. Theres no appeal in being married like that if thats what you grew up with..

This workmate whos trying to check me out just blurted out that he likes strong women. I dont know what he means by that but ot made me think why would a man need or like a strong woman is it because he himself is weak or wants to put his burdens on her? I dont know.

The bible says women are the weaker vessel, its true, we are weaker. But that means we are meant to be treated with more care. We break easily.

I do think if youve already had your heart broken its really hard to trust it to someone new. But only God can mend a broken heart. Thats what I learned anyway. Women must guard their hearts because I see it time and time again when marriages break up or even boyfriends and girlfriends quarrel so much emotional wreckage goes on why cant men and women be friends?!!

 

[LoganWilliamsq]

Same here... Sitting at the computer, working, and dont have time on other stuff. But still, you cant do it all youre life

 

[pookiejr]

I think homeschooling would be fun. Can do more cooking at home than you can at school. I just remember soggy sandwichs at school and eating lunch by myself cos I wasnt tough enough to play with other children. They liked to play bullrush. I would hang out at the library cos everywhere else was too noisy.

Lol. Just brush up on your teaching skills if you going to homeschool though. I cant imagine my mum trying to teach me, she didnt have much patience if I got things wrong.

If you going to marry you need some training on how to be a wife from a good christian lady who is older and been happily married for many many years. In the bible in titus thats what they are meant to train you to love your husband.

I missed out on that, my mum just wanted me to work and then look after her. I think it doesnt occur to her that maybe I would like to be married one day. But obviously to someone who is worthy. My mum thinks shes the boss and henpecks my dad. She will probably deny it but I see it a lot! My dad avoids her as much as possible when shes like that. Lol

I try telling mum not to be hard on dad as he does so much but shes not really thankful and just sees all his faults and she does this to me as well. I hope if I ever marry I wont carry on those traits as that is quite common amongst women when they marry go get puffed up and think they can boss their husbands around.

I think thats why none of us children are married. Theres no appeal in being married like that if thats what you grew up with..

This workmate whos trying to check me out just blurted out that he likes strong women. I dont know what he means by that but ot made me think why would a man need or like a strong woman is it because he himself is weak or wants to put his burdens on her? I dont know.

The bible says women are the weaker vessel, its true, we are weaker. But that means we are meant to be treated with more care. We break easily.

I do think if youve already had your heart broken its really hard to trust it to someone new. But only God can mend a broken heart. Thats what I learned anyway. Women must guard their hearts because I see it time and time again when marriages break up or even boyfriends and girlfriends quarrel so much emotional wreckage goes on why cant men and women be friends?!!

Lol at most of your story.

Quarrels usually happen with boyfriends and girlfriends when fornication is involved. The greek word for fornication is Pornea, I believe. This word is better translated as "sexual immorality," which includes make out sessions, nudity, hand jobs, oral sex acts, and anything that would help one "get off" as so to speak. When sex enters friendship (note: not marriage) it causes a lot of issues...)I think that men and women have issues with being friends because not everyone is meant to contain (not justifying fornication). One person will likely eventually like the other or something... Also, If they are seeking a relationship, Friendship may not "be enough."

 

[pookiejr]

Same here... Sitting at the computer, working, and dont have time on other stuff. But still, you cant do it all youre life

True, I am not so worried about relationships at the moment. But, my thing was (at the time of the post) that I was in so many church activities that I would not have time to date, let alone care for a husband. I was using those activities to stop myself from wanting to go back to a life of "pornea" (see post to Lanolin in this thread). Since you are here, what type of activities do you believe should be added (or removed) from life. You mentioned that we can't work our lives away forever, so how do we (as believers) not get stuck to the daily grind?