One time I couldn’t resist my thoughts and I gave in to them, on purpose. I’m doomed but I want hope. A voice has told me that I just don’t want to accept that there’s no hope. I’ve called the Holy Spirit names in my head and I don’t look forward to eternity. I need someone to talk to. I’m doomed and there’s nothing I can do about it. I want to be alive but don’t know why I still am. I wish this sin could be forgiven. :crying:
I just know that I’ll go to hell after I die for sure because of what I did. God hasn’t spoken to me directly anymore. I don’t even feel the Holy Spirit with me. I want to feel emotions when it comes to this sin but I don’t. I didn’t think my life would turn out this way. I don’t know what to do. I want conviction. I’ve tried repenting and I just give in to the blasphemous thoughts again.
So this is what happened:
One time I gave in to the thoughts on purpose. I cried and didn’t know what to do with my life. I thought I was doomed.
That day I was going to school. The driver was a Christian and I told him what I did wrong. He said “your going to ask the Lord for forgiveness”. I said “what? That can’t be forgiven!” I didn’t feel that I should ask for forgiveness since I thought I was doomed and that God wouldn’t accept me.
So the next day, I go to church and I get prayed over. I hug the man praying for me and I beg the Lord for forgiveness. Then, God spoke to him, and said “I will have mercy”.
On my way to school, after I talk to the man I thought, “next time I do this, I can just ask for forgiveness”. I made a huge mistake in thinking that!
I then began (days after church) thinking things against the Holy Spirit. I thought all kinds of insults. But I only thought they when he enemy had put thoughts like that in my head: I’d repeat them. I don’t know what to do with my life.
Then after giving in for a short while, I was taken to a psych hospital and a staff member took me to the court of heaven. He prayed and later I found out that I wasn’t guilty of this sin. Like, God told him I wasn’t guilty. I didn’t know how but I didn’t say anything.
So now I’m here, continuing in these thoughts and thinking them on purpose, because it’s a habit.
Please, no one tell me that the unpardonable sin is unbelief or that there is no unforgivable sin. The Bible is clear on what it is in Matthew 12:32, and Mark 3:28-30
I also hear this sin is not easy to commit. Is that true? Also. If it is, how is it difficult? What makes it hard to do?
I just know that I’ll go to hell after I die for sure because of what I did. God hasn’t spoken to me directly anymore. I don’t even feel the Holy Spirit with me. I want to feel emotions when it comes to this sin but I don’t. I didn’t think my life would turn out this way. I don’t know what to do. I want conviction. I’ve tried repenting and I just give in to the blasphemous thoughts again.
So this is what happened:
One time I gave in to the thoughts on purpose. I cried and didn’t know what to do with my life. I thought I was doomed.
That day I was going to school. The driver was a Christian and I told him what I did wrong. He said “your going to ask the Lord for forgiveness”. I said “what? That can’t be forgiven!” I didn’t feel that I should ask for forgiveness since I thought I was doomed and that God wouldn’t accept me.
So the next day, I go to church and I get prayed over. I hug the man praying for me and I beg the Lord for forgiveness. Then, God spoke to him, and said “I will have mercy”.
On my way to school, after I talk to the man I thought, “next time I do this, I can just ask for forgiveness”. I made a huge mistake in thinking that!
I then began (days after church) thinking things against the Holy Spirit. I thought all kinds of insults. But I only thought they when he enemy had put thoughts like that in my head: I’d repeat them. I don’t know what to do with my life.
Then after giving in for a short while, I was taken to a psych hospital and a staff member took me to the court of heaven. He prayed and later I found out that I wasn’t guilty of this sin. Like, God told him I wasn’t guilty. I didn’t know how but I didn’t say anything.
So now I’m here, continuing in these thoughts and thinking them on purpose, because it’s a habit.
Please, no one tell me that the unpardonable sin is unbelief or that there is no unforgivable sin. The Bible is clear on what it is in Matthew 12:32, and Mark 3:28-30
I also hear this sin is not easy to commit. Is that true? Also. If it is, how is it difficult? What makes it hard to do?