I don't know where to start.

[Etienne Kalasa]

Hello everyone, my name is Etienne, i'm a 17 year old christian male and i have recently created an account on this website because i am seeking help. Here's my story :
I was baptized at birth. i have always acknowledged the existence and presence of Jesus Christ in my life. Recently, i got baptized again because for me, i had to accept Jesus Christ in my life myself, with my own consent. Basically i didn't count my baptism at birth. After this, my friend whom i got baptized with told me that after this, it was my chance to start fresh, live a new life with the Lord. It failed quite badly. I continued my bad habits, i continued sinning, basically nothing changed, and i have no one but myself to blame. I created this account because when listening to a song by Hillsong, i started crying... weeping even. i didn't know why i was crying, but i was asking for his forgiveness, I felt so vulnerable and so opened. Humiliated, i had a feeling that i had disappointed my Lord... And for that i felt very bad. At this very moment I feel like i am not good enough, that i am but a sinner. I want this to change. I want to start doing good, i want him to be pleased with me. The only problem is, I do not know where to start. I have a feeling that i should start by reading the Bible... but how ? do i start from the very beginning ? or from the new testament ? How do i start ? Thank you.
Etienne

 

[Thiscrosshurts]

Welcome to the forum Etienne
Congratulations on your decision to choose life.

Here's a good place to start since you already experienced at least half of this verse:
Romans 11:32 For God has bound everyone over to disobedience so that he may have mercy on them all.
Many people think they are acceptable to God because they are good but they won't let
God show them mercy because they deny they need any.

John 6:44 "No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them, and I will raise them up at the last day.
The Father's mercy was already working in your life because he is the one who drew you to Jesus.

John 6:28 Then they asked him, "What must we do to do the works God requires?"
John 6:29 Jesus answered and said to them, "This is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom He has sent."
Believing God allows God to begin revealing himself to you through his Holy Spirit who will teach you about the love of God using scripture,preaching,circumstances,situations,friends and other ways.

I recommend starting in the 4 gospels and get to know Jesus and his mission.
Gospel means good news so don't let things that you don't fully understand frighten you in any way.
God is love and not a book of rules.

Here is the bibles description of love:
1 Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant
1 Corinthians 13:5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
1 Corinthians 13:6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
1 Corinthians 13:7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

So since God is love and love does not demand it's own way he won't stop us from giving up or walking away.
But he will always follow us because love trusts us and will still protect and hope and wait patiently for our return.
He does not rejoice at our wrongdoing but love jumps at the chance to show love through mercy.

We are called to be like him and be love.
So it's not about what you do or don't do.
It's about what he did so that you can be what he created us all to be and that is love.
Godspeed

 

[Brad Huber]

The fact that you are saddened by your sins shows that you are being convicted by the Holy Spirit and likewise the desire to be more worthy of the Lords Love. Follow the leading of the Holy Spirit and read the bible and pray daily. Start out in the new testament, then do the old. Avoid making prayers robotic in nature, speak to the Lord with reverence but in the same manner you speak to us. He wants a true child to speak his heart.

 

[Chad]

Hello @Etienne Kalasa welcome to Talk Jesus forums! Glad you're here

Hillsong is a great anointed band and church ministry.

 

[CallingOnHim]

Dear Etienne,

Welcome to the site. Glad to have you. You seem like someone who is earnestly searching for the Lord. Just remember, seek and ye shall find.
And no matter how many mistakes you make, if you come to the Lord for forgiveness, He will most assuredly grant it. And don't let satan make you feel bad for your mistiakes, comfess them and move on. Ask God for deliverance of any bad behavior. He takes pleasure in helping His children and doesn't want them to live in guilt. Remember, Jesus came to set us free. He will not hold your sins over your head. As soon as you confess, He forgets. What a God !!!

CallingOnHim