I am not born again. I have not received Jesus, and everyday, my belief in God fluctuates. I have gone to church, I have prayed for years, numerous times, I have cried asking for God to answer me. I have pushed myself to the limit asking to receive acknowledgement from God. The amount of times I have prayed is countless. And I am at the point where I feel like this is all a cruel joke. Not only have I never felt anything. I have such a hard time believing in Jesus. My mother, the person closest to me, doesnt believe in the Bible or Jesus. Yet she would stop on the side of the road to give someone a dollar, or risk her life for someone in need. Something most people would not do, and being told by a pastor that my mother would burn in hell for eternity because of what she believes in makes it virtually impossible for me to believe in anything the Bible states. The problem is, I dont want to give up. I want to feel what everyone else tells me they feel. I have been told by others that they hear the voice of God, or that they know God is there. I dont feel that, but I want to. I dont feel anything, but I want to. I want that happiness, i want that feeling. I just want God to be real. I am so lonely, and God never answers me. Every day I'm giving up more and more. I just want an answer, i want someone to explain to me why God has not acknowledged me. I always hear the same thing, to "wait" or to "keep having faith". But at this point I have nearly reached my limit. I am asking for not only prayers, but for any advice. Thanks
I'm praying for you Luis.
You stated you want advice.
It seems that you are desiring to get closer to God. But it also seems that you are pursuing "that feeling" that others have.
My first advice would be pursue the relationship with God through getting to know His son Jesus, don't pursue a feeling.
Unfortunately many people in our world pursue feelings. For example, instead of pursuing a healthy lifestyle through diet,
exercising, and a low stress life, which will lead to a balance and healthy feeling, they pursue the feeling. So they take drugs,
drink alcohol, have sex indiscriminately outside of marriage to get that feeling. This also goes for within the church.
Many pursue the "feeling" of being filled with the Holy Spirit.
In Matthew 13:20-21(Parable of the sower) Jesus said,
"The seed falling on rocky ground refers to someone who hears the word and at once receives it with joy.
21 But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes
because of the word, they quickly fall away."
When I read that I think about this "joy" that Jesus is speaking of that they receive the WORD with could overlap
with a superficial feeling that many chase, but as Jesus said they have no roots. The honest truth that many Christians
don't share is that the Christian life is not all roses and flowers where when you come to Jesus everything gets better.
That is not the case my friend. In some aspects of your life it will get harder. Jesus said in Luke 9:23, ""Whoever wants
to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me." We have to die to our desire daily
if we want to follow Jesus.
So yea following Jesus is hard, but it is more than worth it. Paul tells us in Romans 8:18, "I consider that our
present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." Simply put Paul is telling us
that when we get our reward in heaven we will be like, wow, this is more than worth it. Our sufferings here is but a moment
in time, but our reward is but forever. In the scheme of eternities timeline it's like you feeling some pain for 1/1,000,000,000,000(1/billionth)
of a second, and then getting a reward for 1 billion years and more. No comparison.
Finally, I think that there is likely a sin in your life that you are cherishing. I'm not saying this to be critical or harsh, but
I see that you are seeking the truth and I discern that you are able to receive this. If you choose to get closer to God
repent of your sins. You will be wasting your time if you think you can get the "feeling" peace, joy, and love of God in your
heart while still holding onto sin. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying be perfect then God will accept you, no no no no no no. That
is not what I'm saying for God already loves you. I'm saying agree with yourself to turn away, and once you tell yourself I don't want
to lie, have sex outside of marriage, get drunk, look at porn, do drugs, etc, etc, then God will grant you the power to began the change
to be molded slowly and slowly more into His image.
Though it will seem at times that you have a large load on your shoulders, Jesus will be there with you to comfort you. I'm praying for you.
You are on the right path because you are seeking, you are not there yet because you have not accepted, but I'm encouraged because
you are seeking. God tells us in Jeremiah 29:13, "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." I believe HIM.