I hate feeling SECOND BEST

[Bella1958]

I have been married for one year. My husband is currently on a business trip with two women from his office. They are staying in a rented house while at a conference. I am not overjoyed about the arrangements (I think his company should have reserved hotel rooms for them) but I know my husband didn't have any say in the matter.
Last night, he sent me a message through Face book that the women wanted him to watch a movie with them and he would call me later. There are several things about this that bothers me.
1. He had been with them all day and had went to dinner with them. Then, instead of calling home he chose to spend the better part of the evening with them.
2. They watched a movie that I feel is in bad taste. It was a movie that is Rated R about adultery. We have a mutual agreement that we don't watch these kind of movies.
3. When he did call later in the evening, he was so sleepy and tired that it was a one sided conversation. Finally, the yawning became so loud that I told him to go on to bed and get some sleep.
4. I feel like he made me "second best."
Am I being unreasonable? I need some good level headed advice here. Thanks so much!

 

[Boanerges]

You are not unreasonable and your husband should have demanded different accommodations.

 

[SpiritLedEd]

You are not unreasonable and your husband should have demanded different accommodations.

I wonder how possible that is if you're not in an executive position. Also, does the corporate culture of that company regularly engage in that sort of arrangement?

SLE

 

[Boanerges]

Perhaps there are companies that would send male and female employees to sleep in the same house. I would not do it and neither would my wife but I guess us little folks do not know the corporate world Ed so please delete my comment.

 

[Bella1958]

I wonder how possible that is if you're not in an executive position. Also, does the corporate culture of that company regularly engage in that sort of arrangement?

SLE

The company usually puts the employees in a hotel. But for some reason, they use a rented home when in this town. My husband is not an executive, so he had no say in the arrangements.

 

[Bella1958]

Perhaps there are companies that would send male and female employees to sleep in the same house. I would not do it and neither would my wife but I guess us little folks do not know the corporate world Ed so please delete my comment.

I respect your opinion and I would have been most thrilled if my husband had refused to stay in the house. But, unfortunately we can't afford for him to lose his job nor could we afford to pay for a weeks stay in a hotel.

 

[JCslover]

When your married your spouse should come first before anything or anyone apart from Jesus,your spouse should be the most important ..HUGS X

 

[Boanerges]

I respect your opinion and I would have been most thrilled if my husband had refused to stay in the house. But, unfortunately we can't afford for him to lose his job nor could we afford to pay for a weeks stay in a hotel.

I understand your situation and am not condemning anyone my friend.

 

[kyval82]

You are not unreasonable and your husband should have demanded different accommodations.

Very Much agreed.. Or my husband would not have went, job or no job... I feel you have a right to feel the way you do...

 

[sunshineaaks]

I have been married for one year. My husband is currently on a business trip with two women from his office. They are staying in a rented house while at a conference. I am not overjoyed about the arrangements (I think his company should have reserved hotel rooms for them) but I know my husband didn't have any say in the matter.
Last night, he sent me a message through Face book that the women wanted him to watch a movie with them and he would call me later. There are several things about this that bothers me.
1. He had been with them all day and had went to dinner with them. Then, instead of calling home he chose to spend the better part of the evening with them.
2. They watched a movie that I feel is in bad taste. It was a movie that is Rated R about adultery. We have a mutual agreement that we don't watch these kind of movies.
3. When he did call later in the evening, he was so sleepy and tired that it was a one sided conversation. Finally, the yawning became so loud that I told him to go on to bed and get some sleep.
4. I feel like he made me "second best."
Am I being unreasonable? I need some good level headed advice here. Thanks so much!

You are not being unreasonable and I’ll explain why.

You didn’t mention whether they flew in or not or if they have a rented vehicle to get to the conference but I will assume that there is a vehicle of some sort there. Being that I know what it is like to sleep in a car for a week in the winter or in the summer, he could opt for this since the company seems immoral in their beliefs in putting up married and unmarried, men and women in one place.

If there is no vehicle, and they are to get a taxi to where the conference is, more than likely in most big cities there are homeless shelters where he could stay for the night and get an early start to get to the conference in time. Shoot, his taxi could stop and pick them up on the way. Would be cheaper than getting a motel room.

For a married Christian man to do one of the two of these rather than spend the night with two ladies in the same building or room would give proof to the two women along with the corporation that not EVERYONE adheres to societies way of thinking.

Granted, a little inconvenience for him, but at the very least he would appreciate his bed as home a whole lot more. And really, if a company could care so little about their employees than this, are they really worth any amount of money?

 

[sunshineaaks]

The company usually puts the employees in a hotel. But for some reason, they use a rented home when in this town. My husband is not an executive, so he had no say in the arrangements.

Executive or not, he has a choice in where he would stay even though the arrangements were made to the contrary of the well being of a marriage.

At what cost is a person willing to climb the corporate ladder? I question why the company changed their status of placing employees in a hotel rooms and opted for the rented house.

Couldn't he have made a statement something like "The arrangement is fine with me since I have no say in the matter but do you know if this town has a homeless shelter close by where I could stay since I can not afford a hotel room?" Course then if they rolled their eyes at him he could make a comment something like... "It's just that my wife's well being and not having to worry is more important to me than anything else." Could work.