GracefulJourney
Member
- Joined
- Oct 5, 2024
- Messages
- 20
I have shared my testimony just a few times.
I have shared many times but seldom ever completely just because most times you end up feeling very alone sharing the truth.
My journey started in 1972 at age 10. I was bleeding internally and was going to possibly die.
This was during a time that doing surgery on a 10 year old that had holes in his colon was not something people
did well. I had recently been baptized at that time. And all I knew was that Doctors were unsure what to do.
The pain was probably something I would not feel worse then, until I was much older.
The Church elders, came to our home. The did a confirmation ( laying of hands) . I remember shortly after they were finishing.
I felt a feeling the best I can explain was like warm, and soft feeling, some thing like warm honey would feel like but my whole body felt like that.
There was a presence of some kind that I can not explain, as it was there, but also not. It came from inside me, and seemed to embrace like mentioned above
a warm soft embrace. I would have probably forgot about this even happening. Except I started getting better, they would do Xrays and tests and I completely healed.
With a span about a week I was at school as if it never even happened. But I knew, I am not sure how I knew. But I would understand as I got older what had truly transpired. But then the older teenager that I would become ( and we knew everything lol ) simply passed it by as I got well because I was young and healthy.
I was not on any medications, but I do recall putting that it was the Holy Spirit on the back burner and here is why.
I was abused by a family friend for several years. Where was he then. My Parent would divorce.
My dad went somewhere and I would never see him again for another 20+ years.
My Mom moved 100 miles away with younger sister, and I would end up homeless at 17.
So my event at 10 would not be high on the list of things I thought about then.
I would be homeless for about a year or so, back when resources for homeless didn't exist. But I was alone.
One night talking on my CB in my Car, that I lived in. A guy told me about this job he was leaving and asked if I wanted it as he knew the owners well.
I was out of money, and really at the end at this point. And I got the job, I then rented a place to sleep on the floor for 50 a week. Included dinner.
The restaurant I worked at gave employees free lunch. And if I came in early I was allowed to have the nights left overs. But all of this where was God?
(Yes I know.) I spoke with God every night, prayed, sometimes cried myself asleep and alone. Not what I had planned to be doing at 17.
I would work there three year, move out from where I was staying and eventually moved on to better jobs. Always working at the bottom and moving up if I could.
I was too busy trying to survive that I missed being a teenager, and proms, and all the fun things. I would eventually see my dad, in 1992 dying in a coma in another state.
He was and alcoholic which is one of the reasons they divorced. My relationship with my Mom would never be quite normal as much as I would try to accomplish this.
But I also ended up with several addictions that were very hard to deal with and made most things worse. So I covered up allot.
I would work hard and eventually meet the most amazing women in 1984 and 4 years later we would be married 4 year later.
I would grow up and speak with God often, but he never seemed to hear me. Yet I still did. ( yes I know )
In 1990 I had this mazing job driving a Big Rig, for a major electrical company. And everything seemed really good. There was an accident and a forklift flipped and crushed my t11 and t12 in my back. I would go for two years of pain every where to try and get help.
Hundreds of doctors. ( even saw Joe Montana's Doctor for you foot ball fan) But in the end they said there was not much that could be done.
I again like usual prayed often. I was doing so well and then this. They said with in 5-7 years I would lose the ability to walk and would be in a wheelchair.
Not some one in their late twenties ever wanted to hear. So I settled with insurance companies and waited for my life to again be tossed in the shredder.
And God just left me there. I was beginning to feel life was just this, pain, more pain and then.... well you get the point.
So I started walking, more then I ever used to. If I was going to lose this, I wanted to use it. But it was painful. I woke up one day, and had no pain.
I had not taken pain pills since the night before but there was no pain. I felt amazing, being in constant pain and it stopped. I was afraid that I had damaged a nerve
and that is why no pain. I went to the doctors and they ordered a MRI to see if the spinal cord was being pressed on. They were gone along time for the results.
Seems they thought I was another patient as there was no damage to my spine. It was as if it never happened. In 1998 I would open a landscape company. Which was always heavy lifting. And my back would never hurt back then. I thought wow amazing. I mean why did God just let me lose my job and go through all this. I guess my back healed itself. About this time I am starting to realize something ( yes I know). Because these two times where not the only times something bad happened and something would come of it and be a miracle of sorts.
But our bodies can heal we know that.
What I am going to share next is not something science can explain and in 2000 and event would happen I could not explain.
I was helping and elderly lady ( I get chills even reliving it. ) She had this massive burn pile and asked if I would light it for her. I said sure she was a customer of ours so I was just going to do it. I got my extended torch to light it, put a small amount of diesel to help light it. The burn pile was probably 20 wide and 50 long.
I reached down to light it and a noise so loud it would leave me to this day with Tinitus would happen. Seems the lady to help, had the night before soaked it in gasoline.
So when I lit it, the entire thing blew up. I turn my head as I felt a fireball scream at me and past me. I lost my eye lashes, half my mustache.
But the then I saw that my arm that was closed holding the torch had not moved away, and it burn from the tips of my fingers to my elbow past all the nerve ending.
I wont go into the gruesome details but my skin was not where it should have been when I saw it. There was no pain, and then there was pain I never had felt ever.
So long Story ER, and doctor visits and pain meds and skin graffs later. I had to change the wraps each night that my wife did and no amount of pain meds could help.
There was not much they could do but let my arm try and take the graffs and heal. We were in a bible study group each week, and I was hurt two days earlier but still wanted to go, although I was on pain meds . WE did our study group and after it was done of course everyone prayer for me, that weekend the church prayer for me.
Me well I was 38 I would guess and why I love God, and know that Christ is my savior. I was like, " REALLY " ? The next week would roll by from the accident.
And well I knew this was a long haul. I have burned my hand it takes a few weeks. A week later from the accident, )and just a few days before I would see the study group. Whom I shared the burn picture with). I woke up and my wife removed the bandaged so I could take a shower. As she did it, I had missed that it didn't hurt.
The burn was gone, and what was their was bright white skin as soft as a baby's. I do not mean that it began healing. There was no scaring and the area that was burned was all new. It was then, I knew 100% the Holy Spirit was with me all this time, and I just never even realized it. To this day 20 years later that skin is newer then what I have its still soft and whiter still.
I know its easy to doubt stories like this, because I would. But if you were to ask me do I think there in a existing Trinity?
I would say no, I do not think there is. I know there is.
And yet these years later, I sin and still fall short. And I realize now though back in 2000.
God did not ignore me and give me a painful life. He saw I was in pain.
And relieved it so I could bare it. I have seen the Holy Spirit in my Life allot more, now that I realize what I am looking for.
I have lost allot of things since then, and still more added pain, which I wont dive in to right now. But if I listen when I pray.
I can realize. I was blessed as we all are. I feel pretty horrible, not realizing God was acting and moving in me.
Thank You for letting me share.
I have shared many times but seldom ever completely just because most times you end up feeling very alone sharing the truth.
My journey started in 1972 at age 10. I was bleeding internally and was going to possibly die.
This was during a time that doing surgery on a 10 year old that had holes in his colon was not something people
did well. I had recently been baptized at that time. And all I knew was that Doctors were unsure what to do.
The pain was probably something I would not feel worse then, until I was much older.
The Church elders, came to our home. The did a confirmation ( laying of hands) . I remember shortly after they were finishing.
I felt a feeling the best I can explain was like warm, and soft feeling, some thing like warm honey would feel like but my whole body felt like that.
There was a presence of some kind that I can not explain, as it was there, but also not. It came from inside me, and seemed to embrace like mentioned above
a warm soft embrace. I would have probably forgot about this even happening. Except I started getting better, they would do Xrays and tests and I completely healed.
With a span about a week I was at school as if it never even happened. But I knew, I am not sure how I knew. But I would understand as I got older what had truly transpired. But then the older teenager that I would become ( and we knew everything lol ) simply passed it by as I got well because I was young and healthy.
I was not on any medications, but I do recall putting that it was the Holy Spirit on the back burner and here is why.
I was abused by a family friend for several years. Where was he then. My Parent would divorce.
My dad went somewhere and I would never see him again for another 20+ years.
My Mom moved 100 miles away with younger sister, and I would end up homeless at 17.
So my event at 10 would not be high on the list of things I thought about then.
I would be homeless for about a year or so, back when resources for homeless didn't exist. But I was alone.
One night talking on my CB in my Car, that I lived in. A guy told me about this job he was leaving and asked if I wanted it as he knew the owners well.
I was out of money, and really at the end at this point. And I got the job, I then rented a place to sleep on the floor for 50 a week. Included dinner.
The restaurant I worked at gave employees free lunch. And if I came in early I was allowed to have the nights left overs. But all of this where was God?
(Yes I know.) I spoke with God every night, prayed, sometimes cried myself asleep and alone. Not what I had planned to be doing at 17.
I would work there three year, move out from where I was staying and eventually moved on to better jobs. Always working at the bottom and moving up if I could.
I was too busy trying to survive that I missed being a teenager, and proms, and all the fun things. I would eventually see my dad, in 1992 dying in a coma in another state.
He was and alcoholic which is one of the reasons they divorced. My relationship with my Mom would never be quite normal as much as I would try to accomplish this.
But I also ended up with several addictions that were very hard to deal with and made most things worse. So I covered up allot.
I would work hard and eventually meet the most amazing women in 1984 and 4 years later we would be married 4 year later.
I would grow up and speak with God often, but he never seemed to hear me. Yet I still did. ( yes I know )
In 1990 I had this mazing job driving a Big Rig, for a major electrical company. And everything seemed really good. There was an accident and a forklift flipped and crushed my t11 and t12 in my back. I would go for two years of pain every where to try and get help.
Hundreds of doctors. ( even saw Joe Montana's Doctor for you foot ball fan) But in the end they said there was not much that could be done.
I again like usual prayed often. I was doing so well and then this. They said with in 5-7 years I would lose the ability to walk and would be in a wheelchair.
Not some one in their late twenties ever wanted to hear. So I settled with insurance companies and waited for my life to again be tossed in the shredder.
And God just left me there. I was beginning to feel life was just this, pain, more pain and then.... well you get the point.
So I started walking, more then I ever used to. If I was going to lose this, I wanted to use it. But it was painful. I woke up one day, and had no pain.
I had not taken pain pills since the night before but there was no pain. I felt amazing, being in constant pain and it stopped. I was afraid that I had damaged a nerve
and that is why no pain. I went to the doctors and they ordered a MRI to see if the spinal cord was being pressed on. They were gone along time for the results.
Seems they thought I was another patient as there was no damage to my spine. It was as if it never happened. In 1998 I would open a landscape company. Which was always heavy lifting. And my back would never hurt back then. I thought wow amazing. I mean why did God just let me lose my job and go through all this. I guess my back healed itself. About this time I am starting to realize something ( yes I know). Because these two times where not the only times something bad happened and something would come of it and be a miracle of sorts.
But our bodies can heal we know that.
What I am going to share next is not something science can explain and in 2000 and event would happen I could not explain.
I was helping and elderly lady ( I get chills even reliving it. ) She had this massive burn pile and asked if I would light it for her. I said sure she was a customer of ours so I was just going to do it. I got my extended torch to light it, put a small amount of diesel to help light it. The burn pile was probably 20 wide and 50 long.
I reached down to light it and a noise so loud it would leave me to this day with Tinitus would happen. Seems the lady to help, had the night before soaked it in gasoline.
So when I lit it, the entire thing blew up. I turn my head as I felt a fireball scream at me and past me. I lost my eye lashes, half my mustache.
But the then I saw that my arm that was closed holding the torch had not moved away, and it burn from the tips of my fingers to my elbow past all the nerve ending.
I wont go into the gruesome details but my skin was not where it should have been when I saw it. There was no pain, and then there was pain I never had felt ever.
So long Story ER, and doctor visits and pain meds and skin graffs later. I had to change the wraps each night that my wife did and no amount of pain meds could help.
There was not much they could do but let my arm try and take the graffs and heal. We were in a bible study group each week, and I was hurt two days earlier but still wanted to go, although I was on pain meds . WE did our study group and after it was done of course everyone prayer for me, that weekend the church prayer for me.
Me well I was 38 I would guess and why I love God, and know that Christ is my savior. I was like, " REALLY " ? The next week would roll by from the accident.
And well I knew this was a long haul. I have burned my hand it takes a few weeks. A week later from the accident, )and just a few days before I would see the study group. Whom I shared the burn picture with). I woke up and my wife removed the bandaged so I could take a shower. As she did it, I had missed that it didn't hurt.
The burn was gone, and what was their was bright white skin as soft as a baby's. I do not mean that it began healing. There was no scaring and the area that was burned was all new. It was then, I knew 100% the Holy Spirit was with me all this time, and I just never even realized it. To this day 20 years later that skin is newer then what I have its still soft and whiter still.
I know its easy to doubt stories like this, because I would. But if you were to ask me do I think there in a existing Trinity?
I would say no, I do not think there is. I know there is.
And yet these years later, I sin and still fall short. And I realize now though back in 2000.
God did not ignore me and give me a painful life. He saw I was in pain.
And relieved it so I could bare it. I have seen the Holy Spirit in my Life allot more, now that I realize what I am looking for.
I have lost allot of things since then, and still more added pain, which I wont dive in to right now. But if I listen when I pray.
I can realize. I was blessed as we all are. I feel pretty horrible, not realizing God was acting and moving in me.
Thank You for letting me share.
