Erudinam
Member
- Joined
- Sep 26, 2018
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- 1
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I suffer from ocd thoughts and doing stuff from fear because I felt God will punish me. I am good looking but I have some flaws as all people. and spend many times looking in the mirror seeing the imperfections. A fear came to my mind. I will give you an example. Let's say someone who is good looking, gets his nose and ears bigger and becomes bald while he is sleeping. He wakes up and looks himself in the mirror. What he sees? He sees his normal sized ears and nose and his usual hair. althought, the reality is different. He is bald with big ears and nose. He just cant see it. its like an illusion. He asks a friend to describe him. the friend would be like " WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR? YOUR NOSE? YOUR EARS?" the other people see what happened to him but instead of hearing what they actually say, he hears "your hair is good. ears and nose same as always" because due to punishment he cant hear the truth.
I am afraid that happened to me because. I had many anxiety thoughts about my appearance and ocd. I think God was not angry. He did not punish me. Maybe He wanted to discipline me. and discipline is sometimes painful. since He loves me , He "hid" the consequences of the discipline to my eyes for me not being too sad and then send me signs to prove my discipline.
1) I asked God to give me a blood nose if He disciplined/punished the way I asked for different reasons (anxiety, ocd, finding imperfections in my good appearance)
He didn't. I was happy and when I said to myself since there is no nosebleed then I am ok. BOOM. 1 or 2 seconds later I saw a video with a thumbnail with a kid from Stranger Things 2 who was having a nosebleed.
reason to be a coincidence: God could have easily give me a simple nosebleed, I get in summer many of them. But He didn't. I doubt that He would give me a thumbnail with kid having a nosebleed. It was just bad luck. the kid with the nosebleed I saw it many minutes or even hours after I made that request to God. What troubled me was that after many minutes or hours making the request to God, the thought of me making it came to my mind. and 1 or 2 seconds I saw the kid. Bad luck? However, it is a Netflix series ad that is almost everywhere in facebook. But God wouldn't give me a nosebleed at my request due to faith. It would be like revealing Himself to me.
2) I was sitting and asked God to give me 5 twitches near my eyes area in the next 5 or 10 seconds. I froze everything in myself. and had my concentration to my eyes and started counting anxiously to 5 or 10 (don't remember). I counted down so I can go back to my daily stuff. BOOM. I felt ONE twich in my right eye. I never had twitches in my eyes. I don't know. If I should consider it a sign or coincidence. I said 5 but I got 1. What troubled me is that God due to faith can't give me 5 twitches. It would be like He is revealing Himself to me.
3) I had my eyes closed and praying to God about my fears. I was in desperate situation. Suddenly, a thought came to my mind about a scary Japanese creature I saw in reddit days ago. Boom! some minutes later, I saw a facebook article that was uploaded, I think, the previous day. It was talking about that Japanese creature that came to my mind while I was having my eyes closed.
coincidence or not?
4) The worst sign. I was in bed. Desperate. I was praying to God to free from all this doubt and despair etc. I decided to ask for another specific sign. I was ready to ask Him that if He disciplined/punished the way I asked to hear someone opening his/her apartment door and leave from the building. For some reason, my instinct was telling me that will happen. I decided to do it. As soon as I finished my request -I changed my mind- and said "no!" meaning I don't want that sign. but it was too late. I heard someone unlocking his/her door, opening it and leaving. I became more desperate. I lost my will to eat and live like a normal person. the reason I took it as a probable sign was that I was praying and was crying. That's why I didn't consider it a coincidence. And if it was coincidence God knew that I will take it as a sign and being misled and sad for nothing. He could have prevent it.
5) Saw a dream with that discipline/punishment. It was so dark. I woke up. slept again. I saw another sad dream. I was punished/discipline and walking anxiously in the streets. I saw 3 fish tanks in different places. I was like "what can they mean?"
I remembered saying to God, that I will believe that He didn't punish me but don't let me believing a lie. If He had punished me to send me clearer and more signs. I even, asked Him to see the same sign 3 times. and I saw the 3 fish tanks. Maybe it was just a dream from my worries or the devil.
6) I was reading a play that I read some days after the first coincidences and I was rereading it. I read a part about one character saying a memory. He was believing that if he sees 3 specific rare flowers it would mean that his work plan will go good. And it happened. I find it weird cause I didn't remember that part. 3 signs.
7) I saw another dream that someone texted to me. and I was saying is this a sign? I don't remember what was saying or who it was. Suddenly, the phone rang and woke me up. it was a friend who accidentally called me. I got back to sleep. I semi woke up some time later. My mind was awake but my body sleeping. I was thinking "That text in my dream and my friend phoning me accidentally in reality was a coincidence? BOOM! I heard someone opening his door and leaving his/her apartment. (this was not a dream or sleep hallucination. take a note of it cause it will return later)
The reason I believe all this are coincidences are this: there is a chance that the dream with the text came AFTER my friend accidentally phoning me in real life. even if it came before, I am not sure if he was the same friend who was texting me in my dream. what do you think.
8) I was searching google about God and punishment. And randomly, the google suggested a video which didn't have to do with God but had something that reminded me my punishment very little.
9) I was watching a movie and suddenly a thought came to my mind I said to myself "imagine to see the punishment, in that movie?" boom! 1 or 2 seconds later I saw a character who had a face flaw. that reminded me my punishment. same flaw.
10) I have been wondering if this are coincidences or not. One day a friend we rarely chat in viber send me a random spam messages with the word "coincidence" He did not know anything about my problem. there were times that I didn't go with my friend and other friend out although sometimes I was the one suggesting it. my friend wanted to say that everytime its an exit day I don't come. that cant be a coincidence. but before that send a random spam with the word "coincidence" that freaked me out. I don't think that was a sign because I have been thinking the word coincidence every day for I think 20 days almost every 5 minutes. if you do math it seems like a thought the word coincidence 1000000 times. it seemed like a sign cause I was overthinking it.
11) my ex who knew about my problem found a Japanese book in internet with the title "IT IS NOT COINCIDENCE". She send it for laughs because she knew I had problem with coincidences and she knows I like Japanese stuff. I wish she never have shown that book to me, even for laughs. because I should consider it as a probable sign.
12) I remember chatting to a friend who didn't know about my problem and for other reasons he typed this "some things happen accidentally" after all these coincidences, finally something good. I joked myself "imagine accidentally typing "some things NOT happen accidentally" I would freak out" some minutes later I decided to tell him about my problem. after hearing my story, he typed this "God did punished you" and later he corrected it "God did NOT punished you" I freaked out cause it reminded me the thought I made for joke before. I now this does not make much sense in english but we are greeks. Greek grammar is different. what I want to say is that my friend mistyped something that I imagined for jokes that he would mistyped. but it was a total different sentence. it troubled me cause it was the same later. and what troubled me more was because it was in the sentence that had the words "God" "punishment".
13) I was searching the google about God and punishments. My fear of punishment has to do with "illusion". I wrote that word in greek and saw different illusions. you know, the one that are negative colors. I clicked the first image. It was an old illusion uploaded in 2015. I did it for fun. some hours or minutes later, I was scrolling in facebook and saw an article with the same illusion I did. the article was uploaded the previous day. at first I thought that the illusion was new that's why I found it in google images and in facebook. I went back to google to check it. BOOM! the illusion I did on google was from an article in 2015. How come an illusion I did from an article 2015 was also uploaded the previous day? and what troubled me more was that next to the illusion of that picture was the illusion of Jesus. it was like a confirmation? I don't know.
14) Door signs returned. I was sleeping and for some reason I semi awake in the morning. the first thought that comes to my mind is "I will hear someone opening his door" and some seconds later it happens. that happened 3 or 4 times every morning for the next 3-4 days. what troubled me was why the only memory of that minutes is me worrying about the door? and why most of the times the door opened? it was not a hallucination because one time I forced to open my eyes and check the corridor. it was real. it was like a loop
me sleeping - semi wake up- my instinct tells me the door will open now- door opening- worrying/checking it- sleep again. the same loop again and again. why I don't have any memory about other thoughts that I did in that time? why the only memory remains is the door?
15) I was reading articles about God signs. while I was reading one, I scrolled down to the bottom. it had a picture with the words "THIS IS A SIGN FROM GOD" when I read it some second later I heard the door opening. many times, I was typing the word punishment, sign , or door I would hear it. may times, I would tell someone about it or wondering if I am punished or not the door sound would come as an answer : /
16) one of the worst signs. I clicked in reddit general chatroom it has many thousands of users. that means almost 1 text per second. I clicked it and my eye caught a message that was telling about human appearances. Some seconds later, a guy typed something like this "I am ugly but when I look myself I see a hot guy". That was my punishment. I spend many to the mirror wondering if what I see is real or not. it troubled me because I saw it randomly. If I clicked the chatroom 10 seconds before I would probably have never seen it. my intention was not to see the chatroom it just randomly opens when I want to check my direct chats. I entered the chatroom again. I just wanted to test something. BOOM. when I click again the chatroom. someone, just have typed " Jesus Christ" for his own reason but I freaked out. it was like a confirmation message.
17) I was writing a title in a reddit post that had the word "sign". when I typed the word I heard someone leaving the apartment. I said to myself not to worry. just a coincidence. seconds later I decided to write the same title to another topic. I joked myself and said "what if now that I am writing the same title, I hear again the door sound in the same word?" that was enough for me not to write it. 3 or 4 seconds later I heard again the door sound. I was like "HA! coincidence!" but a new worry though came to my mind. I was originally going to write the same sentence. just because I didn't do it does not mean that the sound wouldn't fall in when I was writing the word "sign" again.
18) I was in the mirror. A photo of a dog I saw on facebook reminded me my punishment (ok I know its funny). I thought of that dog and suddenly the dog started barking from upstairs -wtf. as I was typing the last sentence here on reddit a dog started barking from outside - anyway, I will continue my story. Some hour later, I was watching a video on youtube with the dog. it reminded me the dog coincidence. and I jokingly said to myself "maybe I will hear another dog barking" BOOM a dog from outside started barking. WTF!
19) I was thinking that this story will end after I confess all my sins and problems to a priest. I was planning to go to my hometown in christmas. I have time i said to myself. BOOM. as soon as I said that to myself I saw an ad in facebook with big letters "YOU DONT HAVE TIME". I freaked and went to see a priest. the reason of the coincidences and signs is this.
20) I was watching a youtube video. the guy was commenting on a symbol of the ghostbusters. a random thought came to my mind that I will hear the word sign. i got scared. i decided to close the video. new thought! what if when i close it the last word i hear is sign? and boom! it happened. i reopened to check it. and he was saying the word sign.
21) thought about an old coincidence where I was thinking that I have much time til I go to a priest and confess and at that moment I saw an ad in fb with big letters "YOU DONT HAVE TIME" I went and find a priest and told him about my ocd thoughts and that coincidences happen (I didn't tell him what exactly). the only coincidence I explained to him was the last one with the "YOU GOT NO TIME". He told me that I should ignore all that because God wants human to be free. He told me that just supersticious. I can't confess til I get free from it. First, I must know God better. I left.
I feared that I should have been more detailed. the last days of the week I was trying to get a meeting with Him but failed, due to never catch up on time to his office. But what is the point? Since he told me I must ignore and know God better. what would be difference. Today, I got a fear that this will be my last day til I talked to him again. I went to his office which is near my house. I expected to be closed. but the priest was in with someone else. I felt ashamed to trouble him again with my ocd thoughts and coincidences. I guess I should go to a better hour.
A random thought came, telling me that the alarm of a car would be a sign that it is the last day or I will be punished. 5 minutes later, I hear a car alarm. It troubled me. some hour later I was thinking last week about the alarm coincidences and that my biggest fear would be a car alarm going off while I am next to it cause it would be a bad sign. some minutes later, I was on my phone and the car next to me STARTED ringing. I stopped thinking it for about 3-4 minutes. and as I was returning home to write it to this forum, a new car alarm sounded near me. some sounds were normal car alarms some were similar to car alarm. but no one touched the car that was near me. does the car make sound when you unlock it? probably the owner of the car was to the opposite store and clicked something to his keys I don't know. but of all cars I was next to it!
what God wants me to do? what He wants me to believe? that I am punished? or that He gave me some time till I talk to a priest but failed and today was my last day? tomorrow I will be punished the way I fear? many coincidences happened the last days. a randon sound of something usual comes to my mind and then it happens. or some internet stuff that reminded me a question about discipline that I made to God and asked for signs.
Today, I was praying to God asking for wisdom to understand if the coincidences are signs from Him or not. when I thought "coincidence" the car alarm sound came to my mind for because it was a coincidence that troubled me in the past. When I thought it about while I was praying and thought the word "car alarm" a car alarm started rigging from outside (it was probably the sound when someone has open doors). It happened while I was praying what should I do now? consider it a sign? I can't think.
22) I was sleeping and semi woke up. I was semi awake for some seconds. and a random thought came to my mind. I will hear a car alarm. Probably the same one i heard yesterday while praying. Almost 3 seconds it happened. I got up and thought that this remined me the door sounds that my mind predicted every morning. Boom when I said that a door opened. Also, went out and checked the alarm. It was probably the same alarm as yesterday. What chances there are that my mind will think of a specific car alarm anx then it happening almost 3 seconds later? What chances there me thinking that this is like the door thing i had in the other days. And boom i heard someone opening his door.
23)I saw a woman who reminded me the mother of a guy I know. Later, I saw another one who reminded me the mothe of the guy I know. A thought came telling me that I will probably see that guy or his family members or something that has to do with him. I changed my mind and said if this happens it would mean something good or just a simple coincidence, nothing more! I walked in to a bookstore and at the last minute I my ear caught a woman talking to phone and saying a family name! that family name if it was not the same it was almost the family name of the guy I was thinking. Even if that counts as a sign it would be for something good. but a new thought came to my mind telling me that since the first time thinking a likely coincidence to happen to be a bad sign, I should consider a bad sign even thought I changed my mind and said that I will consider it good.
please pray for me. tell me your experience if you suffer with the same problem
I suffer from ocd thoughts and doing stuff from fear because I felt God will punish me. I am good looking but I have some flaws as all people. and spend many times looking in the mirror seeing the imperfections. A fear came to my mind. I will give you an example. Let's say someone who is good looking, gets his nose and ears bigger and becomes bald while he is sleeping. He wakes up and looks himself in the mirror. What he sees? He sees his normal sized ears and nose and his usual hair. althought, the reality is different. He is bald with big ears and nose. He just cant see it. its like an illusion. He asks a friend to describe him. the friend would be like " WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR? YOUR NOSE? YOUR EARS?" the other people see what happened to him but instead of hearing what they actually say, he hears "your hair is good. ears and nose same as always" because due to punishment he cant hear the truth.
I am afraid that happened to me because. I had many anxiety thoughts about my appearance and ocd. I think God was not angry. He did not punish me. Maybe He wanted to discipline me. and discipline is sometimes painful. since He loves me , He "hid" the consequences of the discipline to my eyes for me not being too sad and then send me signs to prove my discipline.
1) I asked God to give me a blood nose if He disciplined/punished the way I asked for different reasons (anxiety, ocd, finding imperfections in my good appearance)
He didn't. I was happy and when I said to myself since there is no nosebleed then I am ok. BOOM. 1 or 2 seconds later I saw a video with a thumbnail with a kid from Stranger Things 2 who was having a nosebleed.
reason to be a coincidence: God could have easily give me a simple nosebleed, I get in summer many of them. But He didn't. I doubt that He would give me a thumbnail with kid having a nosebleed. It was just bad luck. the kid with the nosebleed I saw it many minutes or even hours after I made that request to God. What troubled me was that after many minutes or hours making the request to God, the thought of me making it came to my mind. and 1 or 2 seconds I saw the kid. Bad luck? However, it is a Netflix series ad that is almost everywhere in facebook. But God wouldn't give me a nosebleed at my request due to faith. It would be like revealing Himself to me.
2) I was sitting and asked God to give me 5 twitches near my eyes area in the next 5 or 10 seconds. I froze everything in myself. and had my concentration to my eyes and started counting anxiously to 5 or 10 (don't remember). I counted down so I can go back to my daily stuff. BOOM. I felt ONE twich in my right eye. I never had twitches in my eyes. I don't know. If I should consider it a sign or coincidence. I said 5 but I got 1. What troubled me is that God due to faith can't give me 5 twitches. It would be like He is revealing Himself to me.
3) I had my eyes closed and praying to God about my fears. I was in desperate situation. Suddenly, a thought came to my mind about a scary Japanese creature I saw in reddit days ago. Boom! some minutes later, I saw a facebook article that was uploaded, I think, the previous day. It was talking about that Japanese creature that came to my mind while I was having my eyes closed.
coincidence or not?
4) The worst sign. I was in bed. Desperate. I was praying to God to free from all this doubt and despair etc. I decided to ask for another specific sign. I was ready to ask Him that if He disciplined/punished the way I asked to hear someone opening his/her apartment door and leave from the building. For some reason, my instinct was telling me that will happen. I decided to do it. As soon as I finished my request -I changed my mind- and said "no!" meaning I don't want that sign. but it was too late. I heard someone unlocking his/her door, opening it and leaving. I became more desperate. I lost my will to eat and live like a normal person. the reason I took it as a probable sign was that I was praying and was crying. That's why I didn't consider it a coincidence. And if it was coincidence God knew that I will take it as a sign and being misled and sad for nothing. He could have prevent it.
5) Saw a dream with that discipline/punishment. It was so dark. I woke up. slept again. I saw another sad dream. I was punished/discipline and walking anxiously in the streets. I saw 3 fish tanks in different places. I was like "what can they mean?"
I remembered saying to God, that I will believe that He didn't punish me but don't let me believing a lie. If He had punished me to send me clearer and more signs. I even, asked Him to see the same sign 3 times. and I saw the 3 fish tanks. Maybe it was just a dream from my worries or the devil.
6) I was reading a play that I read some days after the first coincidences and I was rereading it. I read a part about one character saying a memory. He was believing that if he sees 3 specific rare flowers it would mean that his work plan will go good. And it happened. I find it weird cause I didn't remember that part. 3 signs.
7) I saw another dream that someone texted to me. and I was saying is this a sign? I don't remember what was saying or who it was. Suddenly, the phone rang and woke me up. it was a friend who accidentally called me. I got back to sleep. I semi woke up some time later. My mind was awake but my body sleeping. I was thinking "That text in my dream and my friend phoning me accidentally in reality was a coincidence? BOOM! I heard someone opening his door and leaving his/her apartment. (this was not a dream or sleep hallucination. take a note of it cause it will return later)
The reason I believe all this are coincidences are this: there is a chance that the dream with the text came AFTER my friend accidentally phoning me in real life. even if it came before, I am not sure if he was the same friend who was texting me in my dream. what do you think.
8) I was searching google about God and punishment. And randomly, the google suggested a video which didn't have to do with God but had something that reminded me my punishment very little.
9) I was watching a movie and suddenly a thought came to my mind I said to myself "imagine to see the punishment, in that movie?" boom! 1 or 2 seconds later I saw a character who had a face flaw. that reminded me my punishment. same flaw.
10) I have been wondering if this are coincidences or not. One day a friend we rarely chat in viber send me a random spam messages with the word "coincidence" He did not know anything about my problem. there were times that I didn't go with my friend and other friend out although sometimes I was the one suggesting it. my friend wanted to say that everytime its an exit day I don't come. that cant be a coincidence. but before that send a random spam with the word "coincidence" that freaked me out. I don't think that was a sign because I have been thinking the word coincidence every day for I think 20 days almost every 5 minutes. if you do math it seems like a thought the word coincidence 1000000 times. it seemed like a sign cause I was overthinking it.
11) my ex who knew about my problem found a Japanese book in internet with the title "IT IS NOT COINCIDENCE". She send it for laughs because she knew I had problem with coincidences and she knows I like Japanese stuff. I wish she never have shown that book to me, even for laughs. because I should consider it as a probable sign.
12) I remember chatting to a friend who didn't know about my problem and for other reasons he typed this "some things happen accidentally" after all these coincidences, finally something good. I joked myself "imagine accidentally typing "some things NOT happen accidentally" I would freak out" some minutes later I decided to tell him about my problem. after hearing my story, he typed this "God did punished you" and later he corrected it "God did NOT punished you" I freaked out cause it reminded me the thought I made for joke before. I now this does not make much sense in english but we are greeks. Greek grammar is different. what I want to say is that my friend mistyped something that I imagined for jokes that he would mistyped. but it was a total different sentence. it troubled me cause it was the same later. and what troubled me more was because it was in the sentence that had the words "God" "punishment".
13) I was searching the google about God and punishments. My fear of punishment has to do with "illusion". I wrote that word in greek and saw different illusions. you know, the one that are negative colors. I clicked the first image. It was an old illusion uploaded in 2015. I did it for fun. some hours or minutes later, I was scrolling in facebook and saw an article with the same illusion I did. the article was uploaded the previous day. at first I thought that the illusion was new that's why I found it in google images and in facebook. I went back to google to check it. BOOM! the illusion I did on google was from an article in 2015. How come an illusion I did from an article 2015 was also uploaded the previous day? and what troubled me more was that next to the illusion of that picture was the illusion of Jesus. it was like a confirmation? I don't know.
14) Door signs returned. I was sleeping and for some reason I semi awake in the morning. the first thought that comes to my mind is "I will hear someone opening his door" and some seconds later it happens. that happened 3 or 4 times every morning for the next 3-4 days. what troubled me was why the only memory of that minutes is me worrying about the door? and why most of the times the door opened? it was not a hallucination because one time I forced to open my eyes and check the corridor. it was real. it was like a loop
me sleeping - semi wake up- my instinct tells me the door will open now- door opening- worrying/checking it- sleep again. the same loop again and again. why I don't have any memory about other thoughts that I did in that time? why the only memory remains is the door?
15) I was reading articles about God signs. while I was reading one, I scrolled down to the bottom. it had a picture with the words "THIS IS A SIGN FROM GOD" when I read it some second later I heard the door opening. many times, I was typing the word punishment, sign , or door I would hear it. may times, I would tell someone about it or wondering if I am punished or not the door sound would come as an answer : /
16) one of the worst signs. I clicked in reddit general chatroom it has many thousands of users. that means almost 1 text per second. I clicked it and my eye caught a message that was telling about human appearances. Some seconds later, a guy typed something like this "I am ugly but when I look myself I see a hot guy". That was my punishment. I spend many to the mirror wondering if what I see is real or not. it troubled me because I saw it randomly. If I clicked the chatroom 10 seconds before I would probably have never seen it. my intention was not to see the chatroom it just randomly opens when I want to check my direct chats. I entered the chatroom again. I just wanted to test something. BOOM. when I click again the chatroom. someone, just have typed " Jesus Christ" for his own reason but I freaked out. it was like a confirmation message.
17) I was writing a title in a reddit post that had the word "sign". when I typed the word I heard someone leaving the apartment. I said to myself not to worry. just a coincidence. seconds later I decided to write the same title to another topic. I joked myself and said "what if now that I am writing the same title, I hear again the door sound in the same word?" that was enough for me not to write it. 3 or 4 seconds later I heard again the door sound. I was like "HA! coincidence!" but a new worry though came to my mind. I was originally going to write the same sentence. just because I didn't do it does not mean that the sound wouldn't fall in when I was writing the word "sign" again.
18) I was in the mirror. A photo of a dog I saw on facebook reminded me my punishment (ok I know its funny). I thought of that dog and suddenly the dog started barking from upstairs -wtf. as I was typing the last sentence here on reddit a dog started barking from outside - anyway, I will continue my story. Some hour later, I was watching a video on youtube with the dog. it reminded me the dog coincidence. and I jokingly said to myself "maybe I will hear another dog barking" BOOM a dog from outside started barking. WTF!
19) I was thinking that this story will end after I confess all my sins and problems to a priest. I was planning to go to my hometown in christmas. I have time i said to myself. BOOM. as soon as I said that to myself I saw an ad in facebook with big letters "YOU DONT HAVE TIME". I freaked and went to see a priest. the reason of the coincidences and signs is this.
20) I was watching a youtube video. the guy was commenting on a symbol of the ghostbusters. a random thought came to my mind that I will hear the word sign. i got scared. i decided to close the video. new thought! what if when i close it the last word i hear is sign? and boom! it happened. i reopened to check it. and he was saying the word sign.
21) thought about an old coincidence where I was thinking that I have much time til I go to a priest and confess and at that moment I saw an ad in fb with big letters "YOU DONT HAVE TIME" I went and find a priest and told him about my ocd thoughts and that coincidences happen (I didn't tell him what exactly). the only coincidence I explained to him was the last one with the "YOU GOT NO TIME". He told me that I should ignore all that because God wants human to be free. He told me that just supersticious. I can't confess til I get free from it. First, I must know God better. I left.
I feared that I should have been more detailed. the last days of the week I was trying to get a meeting with Him but failed, due to never catch up on time to his office. But what is the point? Since he told me I must ignore and know God better. what would be difference. Today, I got a fear that this will be my last day til I talked to him again. I went to his office which is near my house. I expected to be closed. but the priest was in with someone else. I felt ashamed to trouble him again with my ocd thoughts and coincidences. I guess I should go to a better hour.
A random thought came, telling me that the alarm of a car would be a sign that it is the last day or I will be punished. 5 minutes later, I hear a car alarm. It troubled me. some hour later I was thinking last week about the alarm coincidences and that my biggest fear would be a car alarm going off while I am next to it cause it would be a bad sign. some minutes later, I was on my phone and the car next to me STARTED ringing. I stopped thinking it for about 3-4 minutes. and as I was returning home to write it to this forum, a new car alarm sounded near me. some sounds were normal car alarms some were similar to car alarm. but no one touched the car that was near me. does the car make sound when you unlock it? probably the owner of the car was to the opposite store and clicked something to his keys I don't know. but of all cars I was next to it!
what God wants me to do? what He wants me to believe? that I am punished? or that He gave me some time till I talk to a priest but failed and today was my last day? tomorrow I will be punished the way I fear? many coincidences happened the last days. a randon sound of something usual comes to my mind and then it happens. or some internet stuff that reminded me a question about discipline that I made to God and asked for signs.
Today, I was praying to God asking for wisdom to understand if the coincidences are signs from Him or not. when I thought "coincidence" the car alarm sound came to my mind for because it was a coincidence that troubled me in the past. When I thought it about while I was praying and thought the word "car alarm" a car alarm started rigging from outside (it was probably the sound when someone has open doors). It happened while I was praying what should I do now? consider it a sign? I can't think.
22) I was sleeping and semi woke up. I was semi awake for some seconds. and a random thought came to my mind. I will hear a car alarm. Probably the same one i heard yesterday while praying. Almost 3 seconds it happened. I got up and thought that this remined me the door sounds that my mind predicted every morning. Boom when I said that a door opened. Also, went out and checked the alarm. It was probably the same alarm as yesterday. What chances there are that my mind will think of a specific car alarm anx then it happening almost 3 seconds later? What chances there me thinking that this is like the door thing i had in the other days. And boom i heard someone opening his door.
23)I saw a woman who reminded me the mother of a guy I know. Later, I saw another one who reminded me the mothe of the guy I know. A thought came telling me that I will probably see that guy or his family members or something that has to do with him. I changed my mind and said if this happens it would mean something good or just a simple coincidence, nothing more! I walked in to a bookstore and at the last minute I my ear caught a woman talking to phone and saying a family name! that family name if it was not the same it was almost the family name of the guy I was thinking. Even if that counts as a sign it would be for something good. but a new thought came to my mind telling me that since the first time thinking a likely coincidence to happen to be a bad sign, I should consider a bad sign even thought I changed my mind and said that I will consider it good.
please pray for me. tell me your experience if you suffer with the same problem
