I think i am on the wide path and Im upset what could I do?

[FrankDSegura]

I don't know about what Gofs verdict will be on me.
I know and believe in my heart that Jesus is the messiah and he did come forth from God.
Am I unsavable or destined to go to Hell no matter what?
I'm pretty sure I still love God, I'm tormented by my thoughts..
It could be a mental illness but either way I'm not looking for someone to say oh its no big deal..I need to know if im saved Im a sinner, I need salvation. I've heard from various Christians that salvation is a choice...

Is it possible that a mistake I made as a teenager would slowly over the years engulfe my life into a mess?
I have what seems like the plague of bad, no good, unwanted thoughts not limited to but including: blasphemous thoughts about the true living God, thoughts about other ones I love as well, and just irreverent thoughts in general.
Here is a timeline I've complied of my best recollection of what could be went wrong.
Childhood background: I was a Roman Catholic by title. I completed the catechism of Catholic church. I prayed roserys almost nightly in my head for the years leading up to..

October 2013: When I first decided to pick up the Bible.
(I would finish my high school education and receive my diploma in May 2014 just for the record)
I would attend Catholic mass a few times throughout the next year or so continuing to affiliate with what I thought was the true church. During this period I would watch multiple times a week the "Evangelistic ministry of Anita Fuentes" a evangelist on YouTube I was listening to at the time. (For the record I don't listen to he ministry to this day as of 2015 because I've found out of the various different Jesus Christ centered faiths including JW's, Eastern orthodox, and many others have "their own exclusive doctrine to their church"
But sadly I wouldnt learn about that until after I had made the decision to join a church in

February 2015 that is the "Church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints" I joined at a time I was self righteous, I was hot headed in the heart thinking I'm special because I read the Bible and most kids my age at the time did not..so I thought.
Anyways I was also at that time (the time leading up to joining the Mormons that is) self medicating by Marijuana from a heartbreak that really effected me in so many ways.
I met with some ladies that were missionaries and one of them I seemed to have a crush on, I bring this up because that lady I liked may have swayed my desision to join the church.

I recieved a job at Walmart almost immediately after becoming a baptized Mormon..
I would continue going to the church weekly for about 3 months.
I must admit that me reststarting to smoke marijuana in may 2015 would spark my downfall in my opinion because I was hung up over the fact I was rejected again..this time 2 years later.
Then I would be led astray in June 2015 by a young lady my age at the time. She would tell me everything I wanted to hear and said that we would be together but she lied and wasted my time for about 2 month's.
Then as I would sink lower and shower less frequently, I would stop caring about my clothes and wear out my shoes and continue to use them will holes all over them. I could not say I couldn't afford shoes because I was spending my money on marijuana and trying to soothe the wounds.
But then in November 2015 that one lady who tricked me (not the Mormon woman) started texting me again and I was led astray again.
By January 2016 I was attending a church that she went to(a big building church) and I was going to that church in hopes that we would be together one day. By the secular worlds beloved holiday Valentine's day rolled around I would ask her if she wanted to hang out on valentines day.
She said yes, but then declined the day of..
I would let it go since I was giving her the benefit of the doubt for what happened in August.
I was attending church almost weekly probably weekly if I remember correctly, I took the "Next step" classes by march and through April, but I quit after the first and second classes because the hopelessness of being with that girl were already seeping through.. She would go quiet and I would forget about her kinda for the next 2 months
by late April and early
May 2016
I would start working my 3rd consecutive job since high school, which was a shorter stint than the previous 2 jobs I worked at holding it for a mere 7 months.
I would throw my virginity away in May or June that year because it became obvious to me that she had no plans for being together ever and I was hurt.
Nonetheless I made a major major mistake.

I had tried.

By August or September that same year I had become an alcoholic! On top of the pot problem. The alcohol had taken over my life.
I had been talking to other girls throughout that 2 month gap when I lost my virginity and became an alcoholic.
Then
That same girl had messaged me again by August and said are you going to church on that One Wednesday evening and I was beyond upset..
I would show up to church and she would try avoiding me.. After she invited me to church that same day.
So I would invite her on another date the next month but she stood me up again...

I would lose my job 2 months later..letting alcohol get the best of me. I've had a few jobs since this time, but I feel this was the big event that caused the avalanche of depression on my life.

With that being said and I know there are no "good excuses" for a person being the way they are.
But I tell the truth that there is nothing in my human will that can act like this never happened..
I just feel it caused so much damage... I dont know what to do next... I've been to Christian churches since then... But I go for 2 or 3 weeks and never stay..
I just want Gods purpose in my life and to know that I will be saved in the end.
I don't know what could be a diagnosis for these problems but I'm not mentally well.

Please help me to know if I'm saved.
In Jesus/Yeshuas name.☝

 

[Mart]

I don't know about what Gofs verdict will be on me.
I know and believe in my heart that Jesus is the messiah and he did come forth from God.
Am I unsavable or destined to go to Hell no matter what?
I'm pretty sure I still love God, I'm tormented by my thoughts..
It could be a mental illness but either way I'm not looking for someone to say oh its no big deal..I need to know if im saved Im a sinner, I need salvation. I've heard from various Christians that salvation is a choice...

Is it possible that a mistake I made as a teenager would slowly over the years engulfe my life into a mess?
I have what seems like the plague of bad, no good, unwanted thoughts not limited to but including: blasphemous thoughts about the true living God, thoughts about other ones I love as well, and just irreverent thoughts in general.
Here is a timeline I've complied of my best recollection of what could be went wrong.
Childhood background: I was a Roman Catholic by title. I completed the catechism of Catholic church. I prayed roserys almost nightly in my head for the years leading up to..

October 2013: When I first decided to pick up the Bible.
(I would finish my high school education and receive my diploma in May 2014 just for the record)
I would attend Catholic mass a few times throughout the next year or so continuing to affiliate with what I thought was the true church. During this period I would watch multiple times a week the "Evangelistic ministry of Anita Fuentes" a evangelist on YouTube I was listening to at the time. (For the record I don't listen to he ministry to this day as of 2015 because I've found out of the various different Jesus Christ centered faiths including JW's, Eastern orthodox, and many others have "their own exclusive doctrine to their church"
But sadly I wouldnt learn about that until after I had made the decision to join a church in

February 2015 that is the "Church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints" I joined at a time I was self righteous, I was hot headed in the heart thinking I'm special because I read the Bible and most kids my age at the time did not..so I thought.
Anyways I was also at that time (the time leading up to joining the Mormons that is) self medicating by Marijuana from a heartbreak that really effected me in so many ways.
I met with some ladies that were missionaries and one of them I seemed to have a crush on, I bring this up because that lady I liked may have swayed my desision to join the church.

I recieved a job at Walmart almost immediately after becoming a baptized Mormon..
I would continue going to the church weekly for about 3 months.
I must admit that me reststarting to smoke marijuana in may 2015 would spark my downfall in my opinion because I was hung up over the fact I was rejected again..this time 2 years later.
Then I would be led astray in June 2015 by a young lady my age at the time. She would tell me everything I wanted to hear and said that we would be together but she lied and wasted my time for about 2 month's.
Then as I would sink lower and shower less frequently, I would stop caring about my clothes and wear out my shoes and continue to use them will holes all over them. I could not say I couldn't afford shoes because I was spending my money on marijuana and trying to soothe the wounds.
But then in November 2015 that one lady who tricked me (not the Mormon woman) started texting me again and I was led astray again.
By January 2016 I was attending a church that she went to(a big building church) and I was going to that church in hopes that we would be together one day. By the secular worlds beloved holiday Valentine's day rolled around I would ask her if she wanted to hang out on valentines day.
She said yes, but then declined the day of..
I would let it go since I was giving her the benefit of the doubt for what happened in August.
I was attending church almost weekly probably weekly if I remember correctly, I took the "Next step" classes by march and through April, but I quit after the first and second classes because the hopelessness of being with that girl were already seeping through.. She would go quiet and I would forget about her kinda for the next 2 months
by late April and early
May 2016
I would start working my 3rd consecutive job since high school, which was a shorter stint than the previous 2 jobs I worked at holding it for a mere 7 months.
I would throw my virginity away in May or June that year because it became obvious to me that she had no plans for being together ever and I was hurt.
Nonetheless I made a major major mistake.

I had tried.

By August or September that same year I had become an alcoholic! On top of the pot problem. The alcohol had taken over my life.
I had been talking to other girls throughout that 2 month gap when I lost my virginity and became an alcoholic.
Then
That same girl had messaged me again by August and said are you going to church on that One Wednesday evening and I was beyond upset..
I would show up to church and she would try avoiding me.. After she invited me to church that same day.
So I would invite her on another date the next month but she stood me up again...

I would lose my job 2 months later..letting alcohol get the best of me. I've had a few jobs since this time, but I feel this was the big event that caused the avalanche of depression on my life.

With that being said and I know there are no "good excuses" for a person being the way they are.
But I tell the truth that there is nothing in my human will that can act like this never happened..
I just feel it caused so much damage... I dont know what to do next... I've been to Christian churches since then... But I go for 2 or 3 weeks and never stay..
I just want Gods purpose in my life and to know that I will be saved in the end.
I don't know what could be a diagnosis for these problems but I'm not mentally well.

Please help me to know if I'm saved.
In Jesus/Yeshuas name.☝

Hello, my friend. I am unable to make that decision for you. What I can tell you is that pot and alcohol are depressants. They will cause you to be depressed.

If you are truly looking for help it may be that what you need is not found here. Alcoholism and drug addiction can be stopped. The place to go is Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous.

Quite a few people have taken their time to help you. I'm sure many have spent time in prayer. You are the only one who can do anything now. You must take action. You have told us you have a disease. That's what being an alcoholic means. It is a progressive disease that always gets worse. The end result is insanity and an early death. It will also keep you from the Father. I've helped a few with this and seen many others lose their lives. It requires you do something.
Go find an AA meeting today.
Come back tomorrow and tell us your impression of it.

There is nothing anyone can do until you take the first step.

 

[Andyindauk]

Hi Frank,

Man, you are in a bad place. One thing that shines through what you have written above and other posts of yours in here, is that despite everything, you do love and care about God. Whilst that's the case your place in Heaven is guaranteed. There's no doubt, it's there.

Now you just need to deal with the booze and the weed. These are doing you no good, worse than that, they're upsetting the people who love you - especially God. He sent His son to die for you, He wants the best for you and to heal you and shower you with blessings. But booze and weed are going to stop all that and you'ĺ stay forever entangled in the grip of addiction.

I urge you to make a decision to quit them. You won't do it without God's help, so give this problem to Him, tell Him, this problem I've got myself into is much bigger than me and so I need you to get me out of it. You need to keep asking Goď for continual help and strength to get you through. It's not just down to God though. You need a total change in your life. You need to stop, not cut back but stop totally booze and weed. Avoid the people and places you bought from and associated with, like they're plagued.

Get outside help, see your GP and get referred, but remember you're doing this for the God who you love and adore,., to please Him . Get yourself new friends, church based friends and avoid serious relationships with girls until you're recovered. Importantly get into a really loving and caring church who will support you with lots of love and prayer.

God bless you my brother, get well as soon as possible and move onto a useful, productive life at ease with yourself and God. It's there, you just need to go get it.

======================

Dear Lord God, I want to point out to you my lovely brother Frank, we both know he's in a bad way and desperately needing your help.

His body is a temple of your Holy Spirit, but it needs cleaning out! Please Lord, cleanse Frank of these terrible addictions, lead him in your paths of righteousness. Please God take control and guide him away from his problems, heal him and glorify your name.

Amen

 

[Brad Huber]

I agree with what the others have said, but.... I have to add that you are currently placing waaaaay to much importance on women to make you feel better about yourself. Give yourself 5 years of avoiding entanglements with any lady (hopefully that will be enough) so that you might begin to like you for yourself and not the warm fuzzy feelings that ladies stir up in you. Use that time to draw closer to God through scripture reading, praying (not formal prayers, but simply talking to the God who loves you and wants to be a father to you) and learning about the Holy Spirit who can help you understand that these evil thoughts were put in your head by the enemy (satan and his minions) and they only become a forgivable sin when you dont dismiss them as not your thoughts. Stand against those enemy thoughts whispered inside your head, they are not your thoughts, rebuke the evil thoughts in Jesus name and know they hold no power over you other than what power you give them by thinking its your fault they arrived in your head.

 

[Dave M]

spiritual disciplines is the way to get closer to God and that starts with repenting. It is never too late as long as we are on earth.

this is a every day commitment to Christ, its never too late to commit to Christ,

 

[spiriteddove05]

Jesus sticks closer dan a brother, cry out God, tell him u don't wanna sin no more!! God likes does who are contrite and remorseful over their sin, he rejects the proud but gives grace 2 the humble 1 peter 5:5 what ever uv done God is merciful 2 forgive, take 2 steps 2 him and he will take 5 steps 2 you!

 

[Enxu]

Frank, God has not given up on you that is for sure. But you also need to take action if you want to change this current situation.

You can start on the road to change by crying out to Jesus to save you from your bondage to drugs and other sins. It is not good for yourself if you keep letting yourself get stuck in sin, God is holy and He will make you holy if you also seek holiness with all your heart. So start today with a prayer of repentance regarding how you lived and ask Jesus to deliver you from whatever sin you are still in bondage to.

Dont rely on anyone else but Jesus. No one else can save you from your sins, and no one else can fill up the void in your heart. You only need and can only rely on Jesus for all these things. Cut off unholy associations with people who claim to be Christians.

Dont give up on seeking this kind of deliverance until you get delivered.

 

[David1954]

All any of us can do is ask to be shown.

 

[David1954]

I don't know about what Gofs verdict will be on me.
I know and believe in my heart that Jesus is the messiah and he did come forth from God.
Am I unsavable or destined to go to Hell no matter what?
I'm pretty sure I still love God, I'm tormented by my thoughts..
It could be a mental illness but either way I'm not looking for someone to say oh its no big deal..I need to know if im saved Im a sinner, I need salvation. I've heard from various Christians that salvation is a choice...

Is it possible that a mistake I made as a teenager would slowly over the years engulfe my life into a mess?
I have what seems like the plague of bad, no good, unwanted thoughts not limited to but including: blasphemous thoughts about the true living God, thoughts about other ones I love as well, and just irreverent thoughts in general.
Here is a timeline I've complied of my best recollection of what could be went wrong.
Childhood background: I was a Roman Catholic by title. I completed the catechism of Catholic church. I prayed roserys almost nightly in my head for the years leading up to..

October 2013: When I first decided to pick up the Bible.
(I would finish my high school education and receive my diploma in May 2014 just for the record)
I would attend Catholic mass a few times throughout the next year or so continuing to affiliate with what I thought was the true church. During this period I would watch multiple times a week the "Evangelistic ministry of Anita Fuentes" a evangelist on YouTube I was listening to at the time. (For the record I don't listen to he ministry to this day as of 2015 because I've found out of the various different Jesus Christ centered faiths including JW's, Eastern orthodox, and many others have "their own exclusive doctrine to their church"
But sadly I wouldnt learn about that until after I had made the decision to join a church in

February 2015 that is the "Church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints" I joined at a time I was self righteous, I was hot headed in the heart thinking I'm special because I read the Bible and most kids my age at the time did not..so I thought.
Anyways I was also at that time (the time leading up to joining the Mormons that is) self medicating by Marijuana from a heartbreak that really effected me in so many ways.
I met with some ladies that were missionaries and one of them I seemed to have a crush on, I bring this up because that lady I liked may have swayed my desision to join the church.

I recieved a job at Walmart almost immediately after becoming a baptized Mormon..
I would continue going to the church weekly for about 3 months.
I must admit that me reststarting to smoke marijuana in may 2015 would spark my downfall in my opinion because I was hung up over the fact I was rejected again..this time 2 years later.
Then I would be led astray in June 2015 by a young lady my age at the time. She would tell me everything I wanted to hear and said that we would be together but she lied and wasted my time for about 2 month's.
Then as I would sink lower and shower less frequently, I would stop caring about my clothes and wear out my shoes and continue to use them will holes all over them. I could not say I couldn't afford shoes because I was spending my money on marijuana and trying to soothe the wounds.
But then in November 2015 that one lady who tricked me (not the Mormon woman) started texting me again and I was led astray again.
By January 2016 I was attending a church that she went to(a big building church) and I was going to that church in hopes that we would be together one day. By the secular worlds beloved holiday Valentine's day rolled around I would ask her if she wanted to hang out on valentines day.
She said yes, but then declined the day of..
I would let it go since I was giving her the benefit of the doubt for what happened in August.
I was attending church almost weekly probably weekly if I remember correctly, I took the "Next step" classes by march and through April, but I quit after the first and second classes because the hopelessness of being with that girl were already seeping through.. She would go quiet and I would forget about her kinda for the next 2 months
by late April and early
May 2016
I would start working my 3rd consecutive job since high school, which was a shorter stint than the previous 2 jobs I worked at holding it for a mere 7 months.
I would throw my virginity away in May or June that year because it became obvious to me that she had no plans for being together ever and I was hurt.
Nonetheless I made a major major mistake.

I had tried.

By August or September that same year I had become an alcoholic! On top of the pot problem. The alcohol had taken over my life.
I had been talking to other girls throughout that 2 month gap when I lost my virginity and became an alcoholic.
Then
That same girl had messaged me again by August and said are you going to church on that One Wednesday evening and I was beyond upset..
I would show up to church and she would try avoiding me.. After she invited me to church that same day.
So I would invite her on another date the next month but she stood me up again...

I would lose my job 2 months later..letting alcohol get the best of me. I've had a few jobs since this time, but I feel this was the big event that caused the avalanche of depression on my life.

With that being said and I know there are no "good excuses" for a person being the way they are.
But I tell the truth that there is nothing in my human will that can act like this never happened..
I just feel it caused so much damage... I dont know what to do next... I've been to Christian churches since then... But I go for 2 or 3 weeks and never stay..
I just want Gods purpose in my life and to know that I will be saved in the end.
I don't know what could be a diagnosis for these problems but I'm not mentally well.

Please help me to know if I'm saved.
In Jesus/Yeshuas name.☝

Have your eyes been opened to hear the Bible. If not, Ask God.

 

[ValK71]

Did you ever figure it out. Im scared. I dont think its a choice either.

 

[Sue D.]

Of course it's a choice. Simply accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior. Then there will be peace in your heart. Because the Holy Spirit will have come to indwell you.