I was called to the ministry over 30 years ago this is my story

[Grand Chrisma]

I was called to the ministry in 1988. This was shortly after becoming a believer having accepted God's invitation through Jesus's sacrifice on the cross and repentance of my sin that put Him there. I believe God saved me, called me and prepared me all these years for TODAY!

I share about this call to the ministry in a video and it is something you want to hear. It is true we have entered the day reckoning the time of judgment, but God has had a plan all along to demonstrate His glory in the final scene of the last act. He has prepared people to help through this transition to the end and hopefully soon the return of our Lord Jesus Christ. There is a 17-minute prophecy at the end unlike anything you may have heard before, personal to me, but it’s encouraging to all who have stayed faithful and loyal like King David in spite of some of our own failings in life. This message is for you too not to give up that God has a plan for you.

 

[twcstp111]

Friend,

if you do not mind sharing, why today? why is it today, for you?

 

[Grand Chrisma]

To answer your question it was an inner knowing of something I have been carrying within me for awhile that this is the time for it. I am not referring to being a believer which should be everyone's personal walk in the discovery of God's will and what it means to live pleasing before Him. That is every believer's responsibility and goal so you can enjoy the peace and contentment that comes from it that money or power could never give you. But the rest for me is birthed out of the gift of God on my life because of His care for others.

It is funny my early prayers as a christian were to God, " to keep me from hurting anyone in my zeal to know You and share it with others", not that it was ever my intention to hurt anyone. But I seen the pain and confusion it brought when others trust someone to be a voice used of God, but you were not who you portray yourself to be and what you were sharing was wrong and it misleads others who were in the process of knowing and growing in Christ.
I think especially the early stages were we move from looking to those who we think to know God influencing us to our ultimate dependence and depth of relationship with Jesus, God the Father, the Spirit who can provide us a witness and understand to the truth weeding out the error from those we listen to without it damaging us. Because God made it so we needed one another and He chooses to speak into our lives through others.

Now the things I will be sharing I feel like God has giving me permission to share these things because He wants them heard. So refer to the vids I mix it in with other thoughts so not to overwhelm someone who might listen to it. The video editing is a whole other subject I am working through putting both together and posting places to encourage or warn believers in their relationship they say they have with the Lord.
Over the years in many ways I wanted and was ready to express some of things I will be sharing but held back on some of the things because it was not the time. Even though, I knew what was coming without all the political pundits, talking heads, twitter feed prophets, etc who more report on today as they discover it, but I knew it before because of Him is the only way to explain it and the scriptures over the years became the evidence to what I was hearing which is so helpful, But I believe even those who can not read, Like say Harriet Tubman could still be led by God through Him speaking to her in prayer.
Maybe, speaking for only myself, but I don't think so that it is for every follower that God's concern over their own personal growth in Christ more importantly than the things needed to be shared or done which I am thankful for understanding that one thing more fully. And maybe it is for our own safety when we truly love God and our motivation is not to use God as a platform He protects us in this way. Getting sins out of our life that could trip us up, ungodly attachment to things that are not from Him so when we do start sharing in adversarial times we don't get whacked by the devil easily and escape his traps.

 

[twcstp111]

To answer your question it was an inner knowing of something I have been carrying within me for awhile that this is the time for it. I am not referring to being a believer which should be everyone's personal walk in the discovery of God's will and what it means to live pleasing before Him. That is every believer's responsibility and goal so you can enjoy the peace and contentment that comes from it that money or power could never give you. But the rest for me is birthed out of the gift of God on my life because of His care for others.

It is funny my early prayers as a christian were to God, " to keep me from hurting anyone in my zeal to know You and share it with others", not that it was ever my intention to hurt anyone. But I seen the pain and confusion it brought when others trust someone to be a voice used of God, but you were not who you portray yourself to be and what you were sharing was wrong and it misleads others who were in the process of knowing and growing in Christ.
I think especially the early stages were we move from looking to those who we think to know God influencing us to our ultimate dependence and depth of relationship with Jesus, God the Father, the Spirit who can provide us a witness and understand to the truth weeding out the error from those we listen to without it damaging us. Because God made it so we needed one another and He chooses to speak into our lives through others.

Now the things I will be sharing I feel like God has giving me permission to share these things because He wants them heard. So refer to the vids I mix it in with other thoughts so not to overwhelm someone who might listen to it. The video editing is a whole other subject I am working through putting both together and posting places to encourage or warn believers in their relationship they say they have with the Lord.
Over the years in many ways I wanted and was ready to express some of things I will be sharing but held back on some of the things because it was not the time. Even though, I knew what was coming without all the political pundits, talking heads, twitter feed prophets, etc who more report on today as they discover it, but I knew it before because of Him is the only way to explain it and the scriptures over the years became the evidence to what I was hearing which is so helpful, But I believe even those who can not read, Like say Harriet Tubman could still be led by God through Him speaking to her in prayer.
Maybe, speaking for only myself, but I don't think so that it is for every follower that God's concern over their own personal growth in Christ more importantly than the things needed to be shared or done which I am thankful for understanding that one thing more fully. And maybe it is for our own safety when we truly love God and our motivation is not to use God as a platform He protects us in this way. Getting sins out of our life that could trip us up, ungodly attachment to things that are not from Him so when we do start sharing in adversarial times we don't get whacked by the devil easily and escape his traps.

I would not mind being judged by you. I will share what my real pain is with you.


I do not want to be alone anymore. I have been so hurt trying to find a place to exist in this world, and a place where I feel alive, and not like an autonomic robot moving in and out of logical sequences and dreadful days. I've been in limbo for a very long time, and I'm looking for an exit. I have rebuilt the world in my mind multiple times, and each time I become more tired, more exhausted, and more disheartened. At some point, others became my focus, and I stopped living. I began searching out ways to improve the world, ways to solve problems on a large scale, and ways to correct dysfunctions in the critical junctions within human society so that I could have hope. However, when I ask myself, why go so far, I cannot answer that question anymore. I lost my own identity twice and have suffered through a psychological hell that cannot even be described in words, and now I know. I was born dead. I died when I was one year old. I told my mother when I was 9 that there was something wrong with me, and that opened up a hell in the world of medicine I could never have imagined as a child. I became older and started seeing so bitterly.

I have eaten from a very bitter tree, one that I made myself, and my intelligence was not good enough to keep me from the hurt that I would eventually create for my own self, and here I am. No friends, no father, no place where I actually belong, even as it was for me from a young age to this day. I have desired to identify in the world for such a long time, and I have failed to do so.

I apologize for speaking ignorantly of the things of Christ.

 

[twcstp111]

It is funny my early prayers as a christian were to God, " to keep me from hurting anyone in my zeal to know You and share it with others"

After looking at your video again it made sense to me. I also felt this way when I began learning, but I also felt a tremendous pain in some of the things I was learning, in many of the sights I was seeing, and the new information coming into my mind. I wanted a resolution to it, and I wanted to know, and I wanted to not know, at the same time.

What I've learned is that there's no limit to what I'm able to see, and I have not found an answer as to why.

I'm seeing what I'm seeing, perhaps, because I am looking in the wrong place.


I have not read the whole bible. Perhaps, I am afraid to, because of how my mind works. I change, but God does not change. Nature always changes, but God does not change. It would be nice to be able to speak with someone about the scriptures concerning the things I've seen after reading portions of it, and at the same time, it would be nice to have someone say that it is okay to walk away, and leave it to blind faith, and to do simple work, with simple principles, and simple pursuits. I have many conflicts in my spirit that I have a hard time sorting them, dismissing, and correcting, and it's very difficult, especially if I look outside where I do not want to look but I look anyways because I also see the pain and hurt of so many others out there and their confusion and desperation and desire for salvation and peace, the same desires that I have--God, unity, order, clarity, peace, love, joy, safety, and direction.

I do not want to make anymore mistakes, but I also do not want to leave others in the same places I've been if I see them there. I considered these things, and thought to myself that I needed a solid foundation, a solid solution, a solid responsiveness to every situation--it's no surprise that I became so confused.

I am surprised that you shared this video.

Strangely, I have an obsession to build something and to leave it on earth before I leave earth myself. I have a desire so strong to leave something here that's useful whether my name is on it or not, and I feel as though my honor is in it--it is a feeling that this is what I am here to do.

 

[twcstp111]

I am glad that the kingdom is a kingdom of good works--now I can take confidence.

 

[Grand Chrisma]

twcstp111, Sorry I missed reading your comments. It was good reading and thank you for sharing them!