I'm in love with......

[tynia]

my friend of over 4 years. He and I have good friends and in the recent year have become closer. He is not attracted to me in the same way so my question is not about getting him it is about how to change how I feel about him. I want to remain his friend but it is becoming increasingly difficult. He likes a sister from his church and I think it's great, only not so much! I don't think I can be supportive of him as a friend should. I don't know how to deal with my feelings other than to pretend like everything is ok. Pretending is not stopping this heartache. I have been working diligently to behave in a godly manner so as far as it seems he thinks we are like two peas in a pod and can share everything with me. I wish I could be that friend for him. I want him to be happy. I think whatever woman he choose will be beautiful and a perfect match. He loves the Lord and is obedient so, I know he will be fine. I need help though. I'm not fine. How do you stop loving someone apart from never seeing them again?

 

[abigya]

I suggest, you keep your distance or probably reduce the time you meet him for the time being. That will give you enough time to resolve your feelings and emotions.

And occupy the time you used to spend with your friend with something else.

I pray for more grace, In Jesus name

God bless Sister

 

[WithUsAlways]

I have to agree with Abigya. Try and keep some distance.
If you haven't already done so i would pray on it.
Just try and take a step back be a friend by all means.
I will be praying for you

 

[tynia]

Thank you both. I was thinking the same thing. It seems really to be no other way around it. I prayed about it earnestly last night and I appreciate you both praying as well. I need the strength to walk away from a beautiful person.

 

[loverofmonkeys]

well tynia i think maybe you should talk to him about it. because maybe deep down inside him, he likes you the same way.

 

[rizen1]

well tynia i think maybe you should talk to him about it. because maybe deep down inside him, he likes you the same way.

That's something that God himself will have to tell her to do, because speaking from experience it can also back fire. You're in a sensitive state the response could be the typical " I only see you as a sister "
Then you have the awkward silence that later puts a strain on a once perfect friendship.

Telling him, would be selfish because he likes someone else , and if he's happy as a friend his happiness should mean more than getting your own way.

Hollywood, displays love as girl wants boy, girl desperately jump through hopes to get boy..he wakes up and realise she's the one..boom they get married.

Unfortunately that's not the way, if we ever try to control a situation for our own good, God's not leading. It becomes self seeking. Love is 1Cr 13:5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Put some space between you guys, if he is the one ...let God bring him to you. Don't put yourself out there especially if his heart is leaning towards another.

May God give you the peace that you need.
For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints 1 Corinthians 14:33

I've been there, trust me...Patience is the key. If he's the one God has for you, he will come to you on God's time.


http://www.talkjesus.com/streaming-multimedia/27582-praise-worship-videos-05-29-09-a.html

 

[tynia]

That was awesome advice rizen1. It could not have been said any better then that. I need the word to keep me in check. I do not want to seek my own. I do want to be with him and I have found myself making decisions with hopes of his noticing them. I have found myself getting upset over unanswered calls. It has progressed to ungodliness. I thank God for the word He used you to give me today. My pastor also said we needed to back off and allow some space. He also told me he deserved to know why. Please pray for me.

 

[rizen1]

Praise the Lord.

If the space you're giving him is complete isolation, If I was him I'd would want to know to. But there are discrete methods to get space and still show that person you're their friend.

Keeping conversations nice and short, don't make yourself to available, use text messages instead of voice calls. Sending encouraging bible verses periodically or daily are ways of being present in someone's life yet still maintaining space.

Start focusing on you, and building yourself to be the woman God wants you to be. And the only way to do that is to give God 100% of you. God wants to know, can I trust her with him, would I still get all of her when I give her a partner. Would he steal the attention and time I want to spend with her.

Telling him " I need space, because I like you and you like some else ", is going to make him feel bad, he didn't mean for this to push you away.

It's about you not him, you don't have to go into details in to "why". If it's really bad, then you just tell him " I need to spend a little more time with God, right now, so I'm just giving you a heads up, don't feel like I'm avoiding you or that I don't want to talk to you "

Because honestly that's how it's suppose to be...telling him is like putting your burdens on him, when it is God alone who controls you and has the power to sustain your emotions.

Protecting the friendship, giving God 100% of you, and truly loving this guy enough to let him live.

1Cr 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

Patience such a hard word to follow, but thank God we have the Holy Spirit to direct us.

1Cr 16:14 Do everything in love.
Whatever you choose to do, make sure it's done in love. Your actions towards him must be love..and not the results of a broken heart. If love is not involved there is a motive.

Because

21For from within, out of men's hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, 22greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. 23All these evils come from inside and make a man 'unclean.' "
Mark 7:21-23



Father God I ask that you keep this sister's heart in check, remove all the seeds the enemy has planted hoping to produce unfruitful fruits that will decrease her spiritual growth and be a distraction. I ask that you create in her a clean heart and renew a right spirit within.
Amen.