Is dating really a girl's problem

[Truehearts]

:regret-animated: is dating really just a GIRL's problem??...hmmm

 

[rhomphaia]

We are interested!

Hello.

Most of the guys here are very much interested in the opposite gender.We are christians looking for Christians (like me).

Even though we are looking ,its hard to find anyone interested in us.This is a God-led forum, so most topics center on the bible.e.tc.

So any lady out there can holler my direction!

God bless Y'All!:embarasse:embarasse:embarasse

 

[Truehearts]

so ur saying u guys find it hard for others to have interest in you?


but girls on the other side think u guys are seldom interested at all..(correct me here girls) lolz

 

[rizen1]

Hello.

Most of the guys here are very much interested in the opposite gender.We are christians looking for Christians (like me).

Even though we are looking ,its hard to find anyone interested in us.This is a God-led forum, so most topics center on the bible.e.tc.

So any lady out there can holler my direction!

God bless Y'All!

Ooo we have a guy in here....( locks the door )

Well brother it's been my experience that some of you guys are not always looking for that " Proverb 31" girl . I would hope I'm a good catch but it seems the Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan wanna be's seem to get all the looks. Are Christian guys really looking for a christian girl or a trophy wife aka accessory, pleasing to the eye but of questionable character that they can later convert.

You asked for us to holla at you, so holla back

Don't get shy on us now.

 

[rizen1]

I found my sister's question interesting and decided to give it it's own thread.

 

[Property Of God]

Let me give some credit to the male gender, I know many gorgeous men who couldn't care less about looks! They aren't even pretending they have a heart, but they really seek a girl who can understand and love them, isn't this sweet?

Thing is, us girls, we usually chase those we can't have.

 

[solidsnakeslug]

You see, the problem lies only in the way we see things. You certainly

could see what you consider dating material but it's nothing but a silly

attraction. I really believe that as we get older, we can only get wiser but

sometimes guys just seem to act like boys. My experiences have taught

me that lusting after the wrong type of girls can lead to an easy reward

but an eternal fire that remains burning deep inside. To look at the

question, is it really a girl's problem? No and it still remains to be found

that girls should blame themselves for not being able to date or talk to

guys.



In this day, many guys just simply look for a quick fling to get what they

but run high when the relationship becomes mature. Like many guys will

say, "i want a good woman", they simply kid themselves and hope to find

a girl that will be willing to be munipulated so that they can get what they

want. The mind of a man is hard to understand but it's simple to see that

some men may be good catches. I say this truehearts, do not worry about

finding love at this time in your life. You still are very young and perhaps

will be thinking about attending college.



Just wait patiently and everything else will eventually come together

nice and slow.



Rafael.

 

[SmileBig]

my thought on this subject is that dating isn't a girl's problem or a guy's problem but God's problem.

I met someone online in a Christian chatroom on a one off chance meeting. We got chatting and clicked, I added her onto MSN, we started phoning, we met and became an item last Christmas.

You may say this is chance but both of us had prayed long and hard to meet someone (myself for over 15 years). The key is to put God first and let God meet the need within you so that you are doing God's work when you meet someone and they see Jesus within you.

Hope that helps

 

[Truehearts]

my replies!

I found my sister's question interesting and decided to give it it's own thread.

hey thanks sis!!! (i was surprised, but really excited too) i think this is fun and helpful too for both the girls and the guys...
hmm... i think in someway this will make us better understand each sides so lets listen to what each other will say.
:speaker:

Ooo we have a guy in here....( locks the door )

Well brother it's been my experience that some of you guys are not always looking for that " Proverb 31" girl . I would hope I'm a good catch but it seems the Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan wanna be's seem to get all the looks. Are Christian guys really looking for a christian girl or a trophy wife aka accessory, pleasing to the eye but of questionable character that they can later convert.

You asked for us to holla at you, so holla back
Don't get shy on us now.

Yeah! i agree with rizen because my experiences say likewise too... say, there's a really nice looking guy at our church and he says, "ofcourse we like good hearted girls but then we have to admit everyone of us wants our partner to look nice too"..(OUCH! is that a disclaimer???) no were not saying guys are all for the looks but its like this:

Contestant no. 1
10 years Christian
Normal looking
Very thoughtful
Kind Hearted
Involves at 3 ministries at church
Paints
Plays intrument
not sexy


Contestant no. 2
6 years Christian
Beautiful, very beautiful
Thoughtful
Friendly
Involves at 2 ministries at church
Talented
cooks
Home coming queen


:magnify: uh-uh... guys are making a choice...

...
no. 2 :
2 ministries at church, y not?
she's talented, possibly she can join another ministry...
plus shes really beautiful, (i cant help looking a her...)

no. 1

very dedicated in church ministry... probably wont have enough time for me, she deserves someone better... besides shes a really good friend..(sigh')
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

:love-animated:and Contestant no. 2 wins!!!

well, guys thats whats im saying... that mostly happens.

Thing is, us girls, we usually chase those we can't have.

ummm.... a little lot lot disagree...a little little agree...

To look at the
question, is it really a girl's problem? No and it still remains to be found
that girls should blame themselves for not being able to date or talk to guys.


In this day, many guys just simply look for a quick fling to get what they
but run high when the relationship becomes mature. Like many guys will say, "i want a good woman", they simply kid themselves and hope to find a girl that will be willing to be munipulated so that they can get what they want. The mind of a man is hard to understand but it's simple to see that some men may be good catches. I say this truehearts, do not worry about finding love at this time in your life. You still are very young and perhaps will be thinking about attending college.
Just wait patiently and everything else will eventually come together

nice and slow.
Rafael.

Thanks rafael, uve got a point men's mind are really hard to understand...
Well i have been to college (twice already) but i think the more i wait tha more i see this things like my example above..
:angel-animated:I think I better stick with the Lord or ill just be hurt every now and then...

The key is to put God first and let God meet the need within you so that you are doing God's work when you meet someone and they see Jesus within you.

Hope that helps

It did. Ultimately this is really the answer.
But i think the issue here is more like it really seems that girls have more things to work out on dating than guys... i mean you can count the post or threads here about girls dating problems..

or is it? Guys are not just expressive as we are and not open to talk about having dating problems??? (thats another question though)

Well for me, its (as much as im trying to avoid it) more becomes of a problem...:surrender:

 

[Property Of God]

I'm really convinced that no matter what gender you are, it's truly not all about looks!
What is cute to someone, may be not cute to another, like me and my girlfriends could say very different opinions about one guy,

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, it's not a gender thing, if someone finds you not attractive, someone else surely will find you attractive.

Another thing is, sometimes if we really have a value for someone, we'd not care if there's something wrong about their looks(not just looks, but also personality flaws that we don't like), this is very true and both genders must have gone through something like this.

I think the problem with guys is fear, they get too scared, and they're much practical than girls, we are ready to miss a movie we love to talk to a special guy, but you guys would ignore us for a game you wanna watch, knowing that we can be handled with a few words!


Truehearts, I know mainly why you are single, God is pushing bad future husbands away from you, He knows they can love you, but He has someone for you who will love you BEST than any other man,
You'll find a man you never thought you'll find, believe this.

Most guys who it didn't work out between me and them, turned out to be bad guys, the kind I don't want to be with, offcourse I didn't see it at the time I was dumped :shade:

 

[rizen1]

The real question is this, we all know what the ( majority) females in church are looking for " a man after God's own heart ". ..

What are the men looking for.:shock:

So women remain single waiting on God...( there's no one on this thread searching outside of God's will, from any of our previous threads you would see our devotion to our first Love, and our anti-conformity to society )


The purpose of this thread is a discussion, its not a counselling thread where we are seeking advice. Women generally are more open about their feelings when it comes to rejection and love. We want to hear a " male's point of view ".

Is Proverbs 31 still being used as a guideline for your choice.

 

[Truehearts]

Yeah thanks for that sister rizen..

First of all im not saying its a problem, but its becoming a problem,
example if im with my friends and they are talking about their love lives ofcourse i cant relate, and it hurts, i just want to sink in my seat... or when im getting to know a guy and he would always ask, have u had a boyfrnd and that stuff... and ofcourse I said "no"... I want my first love to be my last...
But what is it got to do with guys??? I think nermeen you're right most of the time theyre afraid, so they ask questions like that... they want to be sure.

Second, I certainly doesnt want someone who will fall inlove of the way i look. That will not be the guy Ill marry...

So i guess thats the question:

Are guys really having the Proverbs 31 standard? or their saying it but doing likewise??

 

[rhomphaia]

Hello.

Has anyone seen Rizen 1? Pardon me,but She is a knock-out ( A Queen if you ask me!!!)

But you see, it would seem odd to just come off with that in a forum like TalkJesus.( sorry,i just did!!)

We are (some of us at least) very much interested with the opposite gender.We just don't know how to appreciate them without seeming too forward or perverted.I am scared of flattery, and even the bible says that flatteries are lies in disguise!!!

So we don't know how to appreciate Holy women here.I mean what would i say to a christian girl on a first date to put her at ease?

I hardly date coz i really appreaciate women and i hate sending a wrong message in this age of lust.:embarasse:embarasse

So dating is also a MAN problem!! teee heeee!

 

[Giggles4God]

I have another question. I am married. And I am wondering...is it really dating OR courting? Dating isn't as serious. If you are looking for THE ONE, I would call it courting.

That then might be the key of why it is so hard. I never liked the idea of dating...and possibly dumping the other person...etc. Never liked the idea of divorcing from a spouse.

This is NOT how God planned things to be. Yes, I understand you all aren't really into advice.

But, think about what you are looking for.

I believe too that God knows what he is doing. Patience is hard when you want God to move your life along. God has something instore for you. Get Ready!

Sorry for the advice-like stuff! :-S

 

[SpiritLedEd]

Is Dating Really a Girl's Problem?

...is it really dating OR courting? Dating isn't as serious. If you are looking for THE ONE, I would call it courting.]

Would you mind if an old man who's been married 41 years chimes in here? In my opinion, courting is the second stage in a four stage progression from meeting a person to marriage. The first stage is Dating - when an informal relationship begins- you are just "feeling your way around". Stage two, as I said, is courting - when one or both of you has decided to take the relationship to a deeper level.Stage three is the Engagement - the formal committment to marry and build a family, which leads to the fourth stage - sealing the deal at the altar and building a family with your spouse.

I believe that each of these stages is important. But, I also think its important to have fun in the process. Relax. If you make it obvious when you're dating that you are trolling for a soulmate/marriage partner, you'll chase people away.

SLE

 

[rhomphaia]

Hello again rizen and true hearts.
I think spirit-led is right.
I would like to add that a genuine christian bro is not after the lindsay lohan type at all ( no crack-pot,binge drinkers for me!)

We want a girl who loves God and loves herself in a balanced way, a girl who is respectful as well as confident .( a true God-chaser or a wife of noble character of Proverbs 31.)

So if yu are any of this, you are a hot item,trust me!

 

[rizen1]

Hello again rizen and true hearts.
I think spirit-led is right.
I would like to add that a genuine christian bro is not after the lindsay lohan type at all ( no crack-pot,binge drinkers for me!)

We want a girl who loves God and loves herself in a balanced way, a girl who is respectful as well as confident .( a true God-chaser or a wife of noble character of Proverbs 31.)

So if yu are any of this, you are a hot item,trust me!

Praise God it's good to have standards.
If God called us to be holy our mate should be holy.

http://www.talkjesus.com/soulmate/15570-disease-dating-pt-1-a.html

 

[Truehearts]

thanks for the replies too... courting is such a great thing, i would have love to be courted too.. but seems like the time has change, i think men nowadays are afraid of courtship, they would always like to test-the-waters first. Anyway but courtship to me is still the best way... i would recall the stories in the old testament about courtship and just swoon... imagine jacob worked 7 years for rachel and when he was still not able to have her (because of the father's cleverness) he's still willing to work 7 more!!! just to have her. No dating involved. Wonder if any man would still do that... courting someone for 7 months might have been a drag for them now. lolz...hmm...i wonder was there ever specific story of dating in the Bible??? (coundnt think of any now)

 

[SpiritLedEd]

i wonder was there ever specific story of dating in the Bible??? (coundnt think of any now)

In those days, there was no "dating" in the Middle East. Marriages were arranged by the respective parents and a bride price was paid (usually substancial) to the bride's family by the groom. (see Ex 22:16 & study notes)

SLE

 

[Truehearts]

Yup, and no cases like, lets get to know each other first, if we click-- then maybe theres a good chance of "us"... if not lets be good friends then.
I think the main reason for the fading courting thing is the lack of trust...
most especially the lack of trust that God is at work, we are always in for the assurance part... maybe if courting is still very much happening around- dating would never be a girl's problem.