lonely old deserves it i guess me

[dellyman]

Hi... sorry, not sure where to begin, once i do, I will type, say too much, put many off me..
I'm so flawed... likely, convinced have alters.. unless they demons, yeah i know, plagued down the decades, how i know Bible is for reall the hard way..
So came to US in 2014, met wife online in 2012... ok for few years, come to a head this month, now only wants to be friends, i been freaking out, gave up every thing to come here, now, well... to cope i been destroying things, my past, photo's you name it... the book the bondage breaker helping...
Despite the usual, lets call it old me, I AM not, and wasnt when i met my current wife, i said and HE knows i meant it, don't you dare being me anyone, you win I'm dying lonely and single, then i met her on trashy imvu, sad i know..
I sadly am shallow man, she over weight and can be lazy, but buck stops with me, too late to treat her right now, in otherwords, I'm mainly i guess to blame..
HERE is what i do not get and no offense, not saying all Americans are the same, but (I'm from UK originally) my current wife doing what i've experienced in the past online..
I would say, oh American women at first much nicer than UK ones, HOWEVER ( I use caps to stand out not to sout sorry) if you upset them, and ask for forgives, it's like I FORGIVE you, but the way they act, no, never the same again..

Her new fella, Yoworld, .. i did try it, trying to find out if she cheating, she says she is not, only socially and that not count, says likes decorating... but one night, well, still not 100% convinced... she says not interested after me in anyone else, don't blame her and neither am I, puts you off, i know... I am not loveable, can't be accepted..
BUT what gets me, is this, when I'm flipping out, i get very passionate and open and crying and upset (yeah for a guy, reasons behind that) is these no offense so called Christians think you are nuts, supposed to believe in bible, and given book bondage breaker by her, though tonight claims was mother gave it some time back for us to do, I'm not doing study, just reading book, but I have mental issue, no, if had that, can't cure it, like say BSE, holes in the brain, you know mad cows.. but i pray, and spoke in tongues and went lighter headed and was ok.. all she said was go eat.. I'm like wow, think I'm just putting it all on..
Shocked, no offense, cause been treated better sadly by non christians in the past..
So lonely stuck in my room, she snores, so have my room other end of the garage, long story, so much to tell, but, said enough already..
I just need prayer not that deserve it, cause i just wanna die at times, can't cope in these last days we see the end time pestilence coronavirus and earthquakes, and the year that ends in 0, oh boy, things happening to me and in the world, like year 2000, just awful..
HATE asking, not much of prayer person as such myself, please, help me, comfort, understanding, arm around my shoulder... struggling with God last few years... gosh... just so lonely, so empty, so lost, I'm in my 50's by the way, trade stocks, love doing that... but... oh well, no friends since dumped in 1994.. long story..
God bless you all so so much.. please don't be harsh and judge me, I'm trash, i know that, don't need to be told, or you need God, i can't flick a light switch, i feel like being punished for after my powerful experience in 2003 i would say to people online it's easy to get close to God it's hard staying there, and now yes i begged forgiveness from Him, feel like king Saul abandoned, but likely enemy, gosh, doing a book or long letter again, sorry... I'll go, just so lonely, need comfort and support, she says i can stay, kinda, but not really want me here, but would not kick me out making me homeless... but she holds all the cards, the car got cause of me, house across from here mother i put tens thousands in to including paying the labour etc, labor then... so yeah, .. half what i had when i came, struggling you know..

 

[dellyman]

Just please think of me, not guts to kill myself, always fear will mean hell.. but can't stand living either.. when young dad was violent drunk, screwed me up, lets demons in i think, going by stuff come across and read since.. not helped me in life and now that along with other factors, ruined my marriage .. expect to read this of someone else, not have to come here and type it about myself.... I'm a fool, idiot... oh well... God bless you all, so so much... thanks for taking time to read and caring it means the world to me, despite trade stocks, i use money not worship it, offer me million not interested, even though could do lot of good with it...
No, hug and cuddle, far better ..sorry anyway, best go i guess... forgive me.......

 

[twcstp111]

Nah, stick around.

Give me a moment so I can make out your post clearly.

 

[twcstp111]

" I would say, oh American women at first much nicer than UK ones, HOWEVER ( I use caps to stand out not to sout sorry) if you upset them, and ask for forgives, it's like I FORGIVE you, but the way they act, no, never the same again.. "


What brought you to love your wife?

 

[Andyindauk]

Hi... sorry, not sure where to begin, once i do, I will type, say too much, put many off me..
I'm so flawed... likely, convinced have alters.. unless they demons, yeah i know, plagued down the decades, how i know Bible is for reall the hard way..
So came to US in 2014, met wife online in 2012... ok for few years, come to a head this month, now only wants to be friends, i been freaking out, gave up every thing to come here, now, well... to cope i been destroying things, my past, photo's you name it... the book the bondage breaker helping...
Despite the usual, lets call it old me, I AM not, and wasnt when i met my current wife, i said and HE knows i meant it, don't you dare being me anyone, you win I'm dying lonely and single, then i met her on trashy imvu, sad i know..
I sadly am shallow man, she over weight and can be lazy, but buck stops with me, too late to treat her right now, in otherwords, I'm mainly i guess to blame..
HERE is what i do not get and no offense, not saying all Americans are the same, but (I'm from UK originally) my current wife doing what i've experienced in the past online..
I would say, oh American women at first much nicer than UK ones, HOWEVER ( I use caps to stand out not to sout sorry) if you upset them, and ask for forgives, it's like I FORGIVE you, but the way they act, no, never the same again..

Her new fella, Yoworld, .. i did try it, trying to find out if she cheating, she says she is not, only socially and that not count, says likes decorating... but one night, well, still not 100% convinced... she says not interested after me in anyone else, don't blame her and neither am I, puts you off, i know... I am not loveable, can't be accepted..
BUT what gets me, is this, when I'm flipping out, i get very passionate and open and crying and upset (yeah for a guy, reasons behind that) is these no offense so called Christians think you are nuts, supposed to believe in bible, and given book bondage breaker by her, though tonight claims was mother gave it some time back for us to do, I'm not doing study, just reading book, but I have mental issue, no, if had that, can't cure it, like say BSE, holes in the brain, you know mad cows.. but i pray, and spoke in tongues and went lighter headed and was ok.. all she said was go eat.. I'm like wow, think I'm just putting it all on..
Shocked, no offense, cause been treated better sadly by non christians in the past..
So lonely stuck in my room, she snores, so have my room other end of the garage, long story, so much to tell, but, said enough already..
I just need prayer not that deserve it, cause i just wanna die at times, can't cope in these last days we see the end time pestilence coronavirus and earthquakes, and the year that ends in 0, oh boy, things happening to me and in the world, like year 2000, just awful..
HATE asking, not much of prayer person as such myself, please, help me, comfort, understanding, arm around my shoulder... struggling with God last few years... gosh... just so lonely, so empty, so lost, I'm in my 50's by the way, trade stocks, love doing that... but... oh well, no friends since dumped in 1994.. long story..
God bless you all so so much.. please don't be harsh and judge me, I'm trash, i know that, don't need to be told, or you need God, i can't flick a light switch, i feel like being punished for after my powerful experience in 2003 i would say to people online it's easy to get close to God it's hard staying there, and now yes i begged forgiveness from Him, feel like king Saul abandoned, but likely enemy, gosh, doing a book or long letter again, sorry... I'll go, just so lonely, need comfort and support, she says i can stay, kinda, but not really want me here, but would not kick me out making me homeless... but she holds all the cards, the car got cause of me, house across from here mother i put tens thousands in to including paying the labour etc, labor then... so yeah, .. half what i had when i came, struggling you know..

 

[Andyindauk]

Hi Delly,

Hmmm... what a long and rambling post, quite tired me out lol. Sometimes it's good to get it all off your chest and just say it! Hope you feel a bit better for it.

From what I read, and what seemed to jump out is that you've seemed to have lost your way a bit. There's a saying often repeated on consumer TV programmes that if something looks too good to be true, it probably is. Good advice if you're buying a car online or a holiday let but please ditch this wisdom when deciding on which god to follow. I strongly recommend the God that created the Earth and Heaven, and you, who when you slipped off the rails He sent his son Jesus to die and excruciating death to nullify all your sins which qualifies you to receive Him, that's how much He loves and wants you. That would have been a pointless exercise had He not called you but He did, loud and clear. You seemed to have responded which is good but you haven't really embraced Him and that's the true root of the problem.

Yes God is too good to be true, but you need to have faith and believe that He is indeed true. Not only true but banging on the door of your heart wanting to come in, take over and really turn your life around. What God wants to give you is true purpose in your life, His purpose and will and in exchange He'll give you a really deep one2one relationship with Him, He's in total control of all events both global and minuscule, He loves you to bits, wants to protect, look after and care for you and give you an amazing joy. This is not just God's aspiration, it's actual reality. How does He do that? You need to ask His Holy Spirit to come into you and take over the wheel. You need to pray frequently, praising and thanking and telling God that you love Him because ..... and thanking Him for .... You need to read your Bible at least once a day minimum. I love an App called YouVersion. It's a Bible on your smartphone or tablet. The default is King James but you can download dozens of other versions. My two faves are the NIV and NKJV. There's loads of free Bible reading plans, a verse of the day and loads more. I love it! Next thing is find a church, not sure what it's like in the US but in the UK sadly the majority are pretty dry but keep looking and you'll find a church that's really alive and can help you and pray with you, and hopefully make some good Christian friends.

With regards to your wife I didn't get whether she's found someone else or not. If she has, walk away. You blew it, a regret that you have to put behind you. If she's not with another then maybe once you've turned your life around, a process that takes about 10 minutes, you can get to work on a major repair and renovation of your marriage. Marriage isn't actually a contract, it's a covenant or a promise to each other. If you're following her around checking up to see if she's seeing someone else, you're treating it like it's a contract, like a bad car finance deal that she can't get out of. Read Ephesians 5:21-33 and that explains how you're supposed to love her and give her 120%, given that level of love no other hunk that comes her way is going to stand a chance, she'll be devoted to you. That's your responsibility, that's what it means when it says the man is the head of the wife.

This morning is the time to turn your life around and surrender to God and seek Him out. He wants to be found, it's not hard. Ignore the babblings of Satan telling you you're not good enough or that God doesn't want to know a misfit like you. Firstly you ain't no misfit, you're God's creation and secondly even if you were, He'd still love you and call you Luke 19:1-10, especially verses 9 and 10.

God bless you bro - luv ya x

 

[dellyman]

" I would say, oh American women at first much nicer than UK ones, HOWEVER ( I use caps to stand out not to sout sorry) if you upset them, and ask for forgives, it's like I FORGIVE you, but the way they act, no, never the same again.. "


What brought you to love your wife?

and i know i did, for me sadly, it's feelings, which i know where bible is concerned is nonsense, can't rely on and go by them.. anyway.. just that she accepted someone like me and was nice and seemed genuine and i could be open with her, trouble is, my being open, i do it to stop enemy accusations.. 'oh you thought that... disgusting, if i was God i'd not let you in to heaven.' but my being open, constant remarks, lot of that turns out what has caused this, face i could nto accept step daughter as in you know, now a teen as well, i never wanted kids, gosh hard handling me as it is, lol...
Good nes my cousin and i know sounds selfish reason only, pray cause in UK he still going to work, with covid around, pray nothing happens to him, has said that i could if i decide to go back to the UK live with him..
Gosh what an idiot and fool i have been...
YOU know, crazy, cause though could not flick a light switch and be in to God this time, like he'd removed His spirit from me or something, unlike in the past i coult i love Him with not just all my heart and soul, but also mind, where i have claimed i not sure could say that in the past..
It's not that i need a woman, or my cousin to worship I don't they can not be my God, but I'm a very visual person, rather watch shows on you tube and whatever source, than read it, and same with God, he not here in person, to hold me and comfort me and hear a voice and be able to chat..
So i need that in a human... anyway was not planned, i said don't you dare now bring me anyone... i felt it was his will...
ANY chance i did a fireproof movie on my wife it would work, accept it's not gifts, it being totally changed, getting alters back in to one, or if really demons, getting them out and being becoming mature, one person, not flipping and giving here what she wants, as in treating her properly like, i doubt it... genuinely can't see it...
BUT who knows.. and i can not on the basis of that, you know... get hopes up..
PRAY pray pray... i shall for once, not do anything haste then, be calm, give them some space now, and see how goes.. I PROMISE you did not come here for the weather but i simply though gets to hot like at moment, love it here in Oregon ... helps me a lot, think i suffer from SADS, where i need lot bright light, sun light, love her cats by the way, i'd miss them... not so much the darn horses but, lol.. that's another story...

 

[dellyman]

Hi Delly,

Hmmm... what a long and rambling post, quite tired me out lol. Sometimes it's good to get it all off your chest and just say it! Hope you feel a bit better for it.

From what I read, and what seemed to jump out is that you've seemed to have lost your way a bit. There's a saying often repeated on consumer TV programmes that if something looks too good to be true, it probably is. Good advice if you're buying a car online or a holiday let but please ditch this wisdom when deciding on which god to follow. I strongly recommend the God that created the Earth and Heaven, and you, who when you slipped off the rails He sent his son Jesus to die and excruciating death to nullify all your sins which qualifies you to receive Him, that's how much He loves and wants you. That would have been a pointless exercise had He not called you but He did, loud and clear. You seemed to have responded which is good but you haven't really embraced Him and that's the true root of the problem.

Yes God is too good to be true, but you need to have faith and believe that He is indeed true. Not only true but banging on the door of your heart wanting to come in, take over and really turn your life around. What God wants to give you is true purpose in your life, His purpose and will and in exchange He'll give you a really deep one2one relationship with Him, He's in total control of all events both global and minuscule, He loves you to bits, wants to protect, look after and care for you and give you an amazing joy. This is not just God's aspiration, it's actual reality. How does He do that? You need to ask His Holy Spirit to come into you and take over the wheel. You need to pray frequently, praising and thanking and telling God that you love Him because ..... and thanking Him for .... You need to read your Bible at least once a day minimum. I love an App called YouVersion. It's a Bible on your smartphone or tablet. The default is King James but you can download dozens of other versions. My two faves are the NIV and NKJV. There's loads of free Bible reading plans, a verse of the day and loads more. I love it! Next thing is find a church, not sure what it's like in the US but in the UK sadly the majority are pretty dry but keep looking and you'll find a church that's really alive and can help you and pray with you, and hopefully make some good Christian friends.

With regards to your wife I didn't get whether she's found someone else or not. If she has, walk away. You blew it, a regret that you have to put behind you. If she's not with another then maybe once you've turned your life around, a process that takes about 10 minutes, you can get to work on a major repair and renovation of your marriage. Marriage isn't actually a contract, it's a covenant or a promise to each other. If you're following her around checking up to see if she's seeing someone else, you're treating it like it's a contract, like a bad car finance deal that she can't get out of. Read Ephesians 5:21-33 and that explains how you're supposed to love her and give her 120%, given that level of love no other hunk that comes her way is going to stand a chance, she'll be devoted to you. That's your responsibility, that's what it means when it says the man is the head of the wife.

This morning is the time to turn your life around and surrender to God and seek Him out. He wants to be found, it's not hard. Ignore the babblings of Satan telling you you're not good enough or that God doesn't want to know a misfit like you. Firstly you ain't no misfit, you're God's creation and secondly even if you were, He'd still love you and call you Luke 19:1-10, especially verses 9 and 10.

God bless you bro - luv ya x

No she claim she is not cheating on Yoworld and doesn't want anyone else, it's suss, but i gotta try blocking, look I'm pretty good at blocking to a degree, sad but I'm destroying lots, will i later regret maybe, kinda been here before, last time 2003, over God, long story... anyway, erm, cause kinda right thing to do, had run in once with brother in law he not keen on me, so anything happened to my wife and mother in law can bet he gets property and be worried he would come over and say hey out..
Plus living off savings, so despite doing stocks, and used to do online surveys, if i was a company, it's like this, i make $50 billion a year, cool, not really, costing me $100 billion in rent, yeah... anyway trying to address that and make more..
Just pray yes I become more Godly and finally this event pushes me in to His arms.. and that then benefits those around here, cause i know deep down my wife is right, we'd get on far better as friends, my visa ok until Dec 2028.. so yeah... either citizenship and i like it here a lot... BUT promise didn't come for that, gave it all up for my wife, my car, my job, my house my cat, my country (UK) to come here.... anyway, thanks..

 

[dellyman]

No she claim she is not cheating on Yoworld and doesn't want anyone else, it's suss, but i gotta try blocking, look I'm pretty good at blocking to a degree, sad but I'm destroying lots, will i later regret maybe, kinda been here before, last time 2003, over God, long story... anyway, erm, cause kinda right thing to do, had run in once with brother in law he not keen on me, so anything happened to my wife and mother in law can bet he gets property and be worried he would come over and say hey out..
Plus living off savings, so despite doing stocks, and used to do online surveys, if i was a company, it's like this, i make $50 billion a year, cool, not really, costing me $100 billion in rent, yeah... anyway trying to address that and make more..
Just pray yes I become more Godly and finally this event pushes me in to His arms.. and that then benefits those around here, cause i know deep down my wife is right, we'd get on far better as friends, my visa ok until Dec 2028.. so yeah... either citizenship and i like it here a lot... BUT promise didn't come for that, gave it all up for my wife, my car, my job, my house my cat, my country (UK) to come here.... anyway, thanks..

btw i like the audio bible, i paid for n.t ages ago, on my ipod, the word of promise looks like it says on app image..
Hard, i wanted to be happy here before moving on to heaven... crazy... I'm VERY as you can tell compicated... messed up from being a kid, sitting around 5 years old hearing what sounded like father slapping my mom, finally brave went down and in, no go back to bed it;'s alright, just the back of the sofa... she started to stand up to him more... was a drunk, get violent like, neevr hurt me, just sometimes my mom..
I was not planned, so yeah, found something 1973 on about me, and so says a lot... think from early age then demons got involved... .. didn;t wanna be born, or in this war and blackmailed as i see it to take sides...
But i do love Him.. and well you know...
JUST right now though not got guts, pray i start eating a bit more, losing so much weight, now 130-131 pounds, used to be 146, and I'm over 5.10, not good.. not want to accidently end up dying and risking hell is what I'm saying so prayer welcome and hey thank you kindly for reply, MEANS the world to me, despite what i do, use money to make money i use it not serve it, i believe it's the mark in a way, symoblic, not a literal one, anyway.. so what i mean by this is offr me a million dollars and I'm not interested even though i could do good with it..
All i want is to be accept for who i am, not rejected... and you know.. listened to and understood for once and held close..
Oh well... and lust, oh lust, not going in to that one, too open and I'll get, you know and then get upset, or banned, so, lol... just pray i finally beat that..
I'm just utter trash basically, but, HE loves and accepts me so..
Thank you kindly again God bless so much..

 

[dellyman]

No she claim she is not cheating on Yoworld and doesn't want anyone else, it's suss, but i gotta try blocking, look I'm pretty good at blocking to a degree, sad but I'm destroying lots, will i later regret maybe, kinda been here before, last time 2003, over God, long story... anyway, erm, cause kinda right thing to do, had run in once with brother in law he not keen on me, so anything happened to my wife and mother in law can bet he gets property and be worried he would come over and say hey out..
Plus living off savings, so despite doing stocks, and used to do online surveys, if i was a company, it's like this, i make $50 billion a year, cool, not really, costing me $100 billion in rent, yeah... anyway trying to address that and make more..
Just pray yes I become more Godly and finally this event pushes me in to His arms.. and that then benefits those around here, cause i know deep down my wife is right, we'd get on far better as friends, my visa ok until Dec 2028.. so yeah... either citizenship and i like it here a lot... BUT promise didn't come for that, gave it all up for my wife, my car, my job, my house my cat, my country (UK) to come here.... anyway, thanks..

Yeah I'm selfish, don't know how to love... regards my wife, or if i do i don't, just shallow, looks and things... no excuse but again my up-bringing... just pray, tired of the anxiety attacks, demonic or otherwise, it so scary, can't deal with it... just want peace... thanks, GB.. laters...

 

[dellyman]

No she claim she is not cheating on Yoworld and doesn't want anyone else, it's suss, but i gotta try blocking, look I'm pretty good at blocking to a degree, sad but I'm destroying lots, will i later regret maybe, kinda been here before, last time 2003, over God, long story... anyway, erm, cause kinda right thing to do, had run in once with brother in law he not keen on me, so anything happened to my wife and mother in law can bet he gets property and be worried he would come over and say hey out..
Plus living off savings, so despite doing stocks, and used to do online surveys, if i was a company, it's like this, i make $50 billion a year, cool, not really, costing me $100 billion in rent, yeah... anyway trying to address that and make more..
Just pray yes I become more Godly and finally this event pushes me in to His arms.. and that then benefits those around here, cause i know deep down my wife is right, we'd get on far better as friends, my visa ok until Dec 2028.. so yeah... either citizenship and i like it here a lot... BUT promise didn't come for that, gave it all up for my wife, my car, my job, my house my cat, my country (UK) to come here.... anyway, thanks..

Thanks Andy, know ya mean well, painful reading right now, keeps reading snippets what you say, pray for me, is all asking for now.. that God does lead me and guide me by His Holy spirit, i often add knowingly or unknowingly and sometimes then add preferably unknowingly, lol.. HE knows i mean it, sometimes too hard on myself, would come home say played u in maths and mother then have a go at me, like i did in all lessons, wasn't in English, anything i was picked on by this lad in that and same lad in sicence, had to tlel teacher, he would put spit on ruler and flick it over at me.. oh well, such is life eh... thanks kindly... Andy, bless you so so much...

 

[dellyman]

i need a male friend only, genuine born again spirit filled Christian who will listen but be genuine, not pushy, gentle, kind, like said not looking as not trust my soft heart when in heart mode a woman of any kind... ordered a phone consumer cellular, finally not be reliant on wifes... used ipod last few years... so not sure way on here to private message.. but we see how and if can do something... cause love in a way to be able to oh oh 6.2 mag earthquake Canada way popped up on ipod just wow, talk about signs.. anyway sorry, erm love to be able seeing as my friends dumped me in 1994 and had no friends since, be able to just have someone i can text message and just you know... feel is there if i need, got my back... not forceful like lot Christians have been, they mean well, but when hurting and down, not wanna hwere, oh just go to God, normally those that so in to Him and they mean well, that say that...
Anyway hard to explain here, as i wrote essays, books worth as it is, lol..
Sorry..
I'm so flawed... such a fool... pray as i realize part of forgiveness now, not just you don;t take revenge means you forgiven, but the bitterness, gather evidence and wirting things about them, cause hurting me, on my door in my room, yeah i know, lol... whatever helps me at the time, if i feel all are rejecting me maybe God is, i feel that darn suicidal, thankfully too terrified might lead to hell i never do it... anyway best get prepared for day trading..
BLESS you all for reading and replying to this, disgraceful, disgusting, shallow pig that i am..
HEY anyone like reality stuff, like mountain men? oh well... i best go... back to me myself and I it is.. in august she going away for 5 days, what made me flip and make this worse, could handled maybe 3.. i coudn't gor for once if wanted, girls kinda thing.... her and daughter and daughters friend etc... gosh ..
SUCH a jerk..
KEEP ME IN THE MOMENT, jeremy camp, love song and also so true, we don't make the most of it and them and then they are gone and we cry... we are so dumb..

 

[dellyman]

Sorry ... times like right now, and I over think, too much thinking, always have been, good in some ways, extra planning, safer, but when think too much, well ... but there are times like right now, when i just think I can't go on, can't cope, never have been able to..
It's really tough .. cried more over this i think, and in recent years than my entire life, decades put together and not just this... when i say i want out I'm nuts, made to feel bad by so called Christians, yet St Paul says i would depart, but for the breathens sake i will stay..
I often come across stuff and recently online, i knew of 1 to 2, but like 7 people, or instances in old testament, people suffering depression, not like to call it that, or say i do, or would mean lied when said have no when at the US doctor thingy in UK.. hate lies and try so hard to... I don't know..
Just coping alone i can't.. but trusting people that in the end reject you all the time, i can't either, I'm doomed... hope you feel my pain... hold me in your loving arms, don't care if a guy, no shame here, but Godly arms... tell me it's gonna be ok... that if i died right now I'm for sure making heaven...
So so so so so so sorry billion times over... I'm so flawed... God bless you all... so so much for reading this... thank you.... I do not deserve it..
Really sorry...

 

[dellyman]

UPDATE:
Keep praying, might be a chance.... been nice morning, yeah quit doing stocks, wanted to go to hospital, and i meant it, was going to ask what my options are, cause of high anxiety and not eating, slowly killing me... but asked my wife if there is any chance and seemed to agree... so I now have to act and prove it and show her and do all i can, i owe her that, i owe God that, tempted to say i owe me that, to myself, but no... forget about me..
Anyway, so yeah keep praying hard... and thank you ever ever so kindly for bothering with someone like me, truly from the bottom of my heart...
God bless you all...

 

[dellyman]

Never mind, being told i took it wrong, and if i give her least six months and i fall in love again which telling me not to, might just still say no, one of my biggest fears... sitting there on bedroom floor holding her hands, been loving on her.... I can't cope, got to see someone, hospital or something...

 

[dellyman]

Much to tell, not sure i should... ... just keep praying guys... this is hard... anyway, thanks...

 

[dellyman]

Nah, stick around.

Give me a moment so I can make out your post clearly.

please please pray taken a turn for the worst, getting on i thought fine earlier today, with daughter and every thing, suddenly on about things again, and well still saying not throwing me out, but wants me gone as soon as possile i think ... far too much to sort out... came with 190k going home with 60 to 70, most in stocks .. right mess... ... disaster..

 

[Fragrant Grace]

Greetings @dellyman

Welcome to Talk Jesus

I have been thinking about your post most of the day and this verse comes to my heart

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
Philippians 4:13

You cannot dwell on your past. The devil will delight in condemning you. You need to focus on today and what our dear Lord Jesus has done for you.
Give Him the glory....He is abundantly able to save and keep you

 

[dellyman]

Greetings @dellyman

Welcome to Talk Jesus

I have been thinking about your post most of the day and this verse comes to my heart

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
Philippians 4:13

You cannot dwell on your past. The devil will delight in condemning you. You need to focus on today and what our dear Lord Jesus has done for you.
Give Him the glory....He is abundantly able to save and keep you

Well looks like could lose almost 10k, yeah, i mean might get lucky, get UK broker, but not sure commission free.. gosh... all a mess... devastated... thanks again, keep praying hard... cause way i been kinda deserve all this i gues... fool, idiot trash that i am... sorry.. pray for my health, still struggle eating and anxiety and pains and mental emotional well-being... .

 

[dellyman]

doesn't matter any more, clever, got restraining order... so i was out... back in UK now, had to sell my stocks, lost over $9,000 plus, oh well, such is this continuing cruel life... God bless you all... take care, see you all around maybe in future...