new to this forum, but have been reading posts for some time. I too am dealing with a broken relationship like so many other Christians and children of God; I'm learning as I go, so learning and fighting the spiritual fight can go hand in hand. There is an element that many of us Christians have not realized or accumulated over time, and because of this we suffer like peasants in a world that Christ overcame. That element is the power of our words. Charles Capps presents this message very clearly. We can have what we say if we believe in our hearts. Yet what many of us have in our hearts is the devil's faith, not God's. We haven't filled our hearts with the promises of God, rather listened and believed what the devil says about our situations, relationships, finances, health, etc. We fill our hearts by saying God's word over and over and over again until we are filled to the point where God's word comes out of mouths in our situations. The result is our spirit will make said things comes to pass very quickly. I can provide scriptural evidence if one needs. Sorry in advance for the lengthy post, but i believe it needed to be.
How this fits your current situation?
In our daily lives we are told not to battle flesh but, rather the spiritual side (Eph 6:12). We don't see what's going on in the spiritual world and that's where all life starts and exists. Take the spirit out of the body and it's dead (James 2:26), so the spirit is the life force of all existence, yet the devil has deceived us into fighting what we see. From there the devil uses things like "your wife is going to the divorce attorney and there's no way to come back from that", "if your wife really loved you she wouldn't be doing what she's doing", "clearly you're not good enough for your wife's love".
See Satan is not so much after whether or not your wife and you continue on with a beautiful marriage, because he can't tell the future. He is far more interested in making you feel worthless and guilty and then getting you to speak that over yourself and situation so it destroys your self esteem to the point where you are no longer a threat to him. Satan is deathly afraid of you coming to the knowledge of your righteousness of God in Christ because from there, you begin to establish God's faith inside you. That is the last thing Satan wants. He knows that if you establish yourself in how God sees you you'll become very powerful and have the ability to live above Satan's system here on Earth; finally realizing your potential and having the same levels of biblical success and prosperity in all areas of your life and helping others come to it as well. Your marriage is a vessel for Satan to attack you personally.
My suggestion
Begin to speak God's word over yourself, your wife, and your marriage, regardless of what the situation looks like. Remember when Jesus and the disciples were on the boat? Jesus was sleeping on the back of the boat and a storm came. The disciples were scared because of what they saw, while Jesus peacefully slept away. The disciples woke Jesus up to tell him what the devil told them; "we're all going to drown"; clearly drowning is not God's will, so it must be the devil's. The disciples chose to believe the devil's words and not God's. Their hearts had not been filled with God's word because clearly they had spoke and believed what the devil was saying (Luke 6:45).
So how to fill your heart with God's word?
Faith comes by hearing God's word (Romans 10:17).
How do you hear God's word?
By saying it over and over and over again like a broken record. So speak the promises of God over you, your wife, and your marriage.
Scriptures for You (investigate "knowing who i am" by Joyce Meyer
1. I am the righteousness of God in Christ (2 Cor 5:21)
2. My father has not given me a spirit of fear, but of peace, power, love and a sound mind (2 Tim 1:7)
3. As Jesus is so am i (1 John 4:17)
Scripture for your wife
* Since the problem is a hardened heart this is the mountain we need to address. We know that all things are possible with God (Matt 19:26) and that God will heal broken hearts.
1. "Because I love (insert wife's name) says the Lord, i will deliver her, rescue her, and heal her. I will show her my love and salvation" (Psalm 91)
*The love of Jesus can and does cure a hardened heart (at least in my belief). So the cure to the problem is your wife first seeing the love Jesus has for her. From there he can reveal "your" love which she would be more inclined to accept.
Scripture for your marriage
*This along with your wife is where Satan is trying to hurt you. He believes that if he can sway your wife from you by hardening her heart and destroying your marriage that you will eventually feel worthless, and begin to speak his words over yourself, thus keeping you in bondage of fear, hurt, pain, abandonment, depression, defeat, etc.
1. Speaking to Satan, "Jesus made a mockery of you at the cross, you have no right to bring accusations against me any longer, Jesus said you will flee from me and i command you to do so, my wife and i belong to the Lord and you have no authority over my marriage, for greater is he that is in us than you."
*Now at first Satan will not listen because there's no faith stored up in your heart, but don't get discouraged and quit. Keep saying God's word over your marriage, yourself, and your wife NO MATTER what the situation looks like, feels like, or what you think. At first it's not easy, because the devil is great at deception, heck he's the best at what he does, but our Jesus is far stronger than him. All we have to do is keep God's word in our mouth, we don't have to trust it, believe it, etc, just speak it. Faith will come by hearing our voice say God's word. We don't create trust or faith, God's word on our lips does the creating, so just keep speaking it. The more often you say it the better.
This is literal, i have sat down and said God's word over my situations in life 1500 - 2000 times a day for a couple weeks now and that is not an exaggeration; i've kept count. Now as I may not see changes in my situations they are beginning to occur; i've also noticed changes on the inside of me and Faith is coming.
Think of it like this: Imagine having a glass filled with Coke. Imagine the Coke since it's dark, to be Satan's words and the glass is your heart. Your heart it filled with the Devil's word hence you believe it (the wife is going to the divorce attorney and is leaving me). Now if you stick that glass under the faucet and begin to drip some water in the glass eventually the water (water of the Word - God's word), will eventually push all the Coke out of the glass. What's interesting is not only will God's word wash out the devil's word in the glass (heart) it will simultaneously replace that which was stored in the heart (glass). So it cleans it out and fills it up at the same time. I can't tell you exactly how long it will take because no one knows just how much of the devil's word is stored up in your heart or how often you put God's word in there, but what i do know it the more you speak God's word the quicker it takes. Remember that Satan is constantly trying to pour his word in to, so if you don't give much time to his word, rather to God's by reciting his promises about you, the less the devil can pour in. Let's say the devil was putting a tablespoon of Coke in an already filled glass of Coke every day. If you put more than a tablespoon of God's word (water) in the glass you'll begin to push out the Coke. Now if you turn that faucet on at a steady rate you will notice that the water begins to dilute the Coke and force it out of the glass. The more of God's word and the more often you hear it with your own voice the quicker this process takes.
So in conclusion: Speak the word over yourself, your wife, and your marriage. That's your part, and God's part is healing the hearts and mending it back together. Hope this helps my friend.