Hey Francesca it's great to meet you! I hope you feel totally welcome here and you get your questions answered. This is going to be really long, but please stick with me. The Bible says that if you search with all your heart that you will find, so I have no doubt that if you really want to know about God, you'll find him! Sometimes it seems he's hiding from us, but the truth is, he's always right there in the open waiting for us. Sometimes all you have to do is let down your guard and your pride and ask him who he is. I have no doubt he'll answer. But as for your questions... yes, God can accept anyone no matter what they've done. He has no lines, no sin is bigger than God. When Jesus died on the cross he died for everyone, not just the good people and future Christians... it says in the Bible even the most sinful, wicked, and bad he died for. He didn't die for just some people, who have some mistakes that aren't very good, he died for all. In John 3:16 it says:
For God so loved the WORLD that he gave his one and only son; that whosoever believes in him will not perish, but have everlasting life.
I know that sounds like a whole lot of gibberish, and you've probably heard it a lot but it states in that verse that he gave his son for the whole world! Not one really good person, not one Christian, the whole world! And that includes you. The reason that God can accept anyone to become his is because of Jesus. Jesus' blood had the immense power to wipe away the whole world's sin and mistakes. His blood was that powerful. Jesus was able to do this because of who he was, the son of God. The reason he could do this is because he was perfect and blameless. He had never ever done anything wrong in his life. Why? Because he is the son of God. He took our place, he died for you because he loved you that much. His love was that powerful. No one else but him could have died for us because he was perfect. Could some human die for the entire world, and say on that cross that they had never done anything wrong? No, so Jesus came down and died instead. He could forgive anyone because he is the son of God, because his blood is the holiest. It's not tainted with sin. Perfection, Jesus himself, died for the imperfect. He died for me. We've all done so much we wish we could take back. I've done so many things in my own life... but by Jesus's power, not by what anyone has told me, or by anything wonderful that I've done, just by what Jesus did, I have found forgiveness and anyone who wants it is free to have it, because it's a gift. If you were there when Jesus was crucified and you saw the blood dripping down his face, and his back torn down to the bone, and nails driven through his wrist, and you saw the men who did it to him laughing in his hurt, and then you saw Jesus say: Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. I don't think you would believe that his blood wasn't powerful enough to save you. But unfortunately, we're not able to go back and instead we have to learn about his forgiveness, and experience it for ourselves.
For your other question, you have to realize how much and how deeply and strongly Jesus feels for you, how much he loves you. He will never give up on you until the day you die. He'll keep going after you with his message of love, he knows whether or not you'll refuse or accept him, but he'll give you oppurtunity after oppurtunity to choose him. He won't let you die without knowing he did everything he could to have you with him. And that you had every chance to choose to believe and follow him. He loves you so much, and his blood his powerful enough for whatever you've done. Nowadays I think people have complicated salvation. All it takes is believing that God exists, believe he died for you, believe that you're a sinner, and ask for him. Believe he loves you, and then ask for his love. His love is a free gift. It's packaged and ready for anyone, they just need to realize he's holding it out to them, even after everything they've done. Just like your mom or somebody would hold out a gift, you can't have it until you decided you want it. That gift will go unnoticed for somebody else unless you reach out your arms and take it, accept it. It's the same with Jesus. He's holding it out for you, but you need to know that it's there and open your arms to recieve it.
The one thing you need to know is that Jesus loves you and he will always love you! And he'll never, ever give up on you. I guarantee he'll keep coming to you with his message because he deeply cares for you and adores you. Jesus has already paid the price. Suppose you were in line waiting for an Icecream Sundae, and the bill comes up. You realize you have nothing in your purse but a penny. The price is $10.00. You're very lacking and you know you can never reach that price. So maybe that frost-bitten carton of Icecream in your fridge might do after all. You really wanted that sundae, you longed for it with all your heart, but there's no way you could ever recieve it. A gentleman behind you sees your predicament, sees the tears welling up in your eyes, and though he knows you might not accept his gift, he offers you $100 for the sundae and whatever else you might need. He does it out of the compassion of his pure heart, and he does it because he knows the bill is much too high. The gentleman is Jesus. He knows just like you and me that the price is much too high, like you said there must be something he can't accept, he knows full well the price is much too high, so he did the only thing that could save us. Himself. He paid the price. He's already done it. There's nothing more to do. No debts to pay off, nothing because he gave it as a gift out of pure love. Now it's our choice.
I hope that answers some things, and I hope I wasn't speaking a foreign language to you. Jesus does love you, and he paid the price for you. All you have to do is ask to recieve his love. Just ask. I love you in Christ sister, and if there's any more questions you have, don't be afraid to ask! I'll try to shorten things up next time.
And if you're not convinced, that's okay, keep asking! Jesus will always be there. I'll post some scripture for the stuff I've been talking about so you can see I'm not making all this up.
Love ya,
me.
