Mental illness and faith in Jesus

[markus]

I believed in Jesus Christ with all of my heart. And I believed in the book of Revelation. There the mark of the beast is mentioned. I saw a feature film made by some American Christian group where they portray the mark of the Beast as represented in microchip implanted in the hand. The Antichrist forcing everyone to take the chip and true Christians refusing and dying because of it.
I believed it and preached to others the truth of Revelation.
Then I started receiving the sign from God. I would feel the pain in my hand as if something stung me and that was a sign of microchip meaning that some situation or people are bad for me. That lasted for two years, all the time it would sting me in the hand as if a microchip implant.
After that, I started hearing voices that said that are of Christ King Almighty. The voices deluded me. I lived for four years in complete isolation listening to the voices and fighting Satan. Satan was attacking me everyday with his voice. He would enrage me, so I would become so furious that I was breaking furniture, tearing books, paintings of the wall. After that Satan's snake that worked inside of me enraged me to start beating myself. So I would beat myself in the face and head. I had a completely swollen and bruised face like for 20-30 times at least. Christ King Almighty allowed that so I can become true in Christ. I had to suffer as Christ suffered.
After four years of that I ended up at the psychiatrist and was given heavy medication. And I was diagnosed with a psychosis - similar to schizophrenia but not quite.
So, I lost faith in Jesus. Now, the voices are gone thanks to the antipsychotic medication. I want to believe in Christ but I can't anymore, not after everything I went through. How could Lord allow that if I believed in him? How can I believe again??

 

[amadeus2]

@markus
As difficult as those attacks were on you it may be that you went to the wrong place for help, because it was not problem to be solved by the wisdom of men and their medicines.

"Let no man deceive himself. If any man among you seemeth to be wise in this world, let him become a fool, that he may be wise.
For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, He taketh the wise in their own craftiness." I Cor 3:18-19

Can you go back to God? That you are able to even ask to me means that, yes, you can. Read the following verses carefully:

"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." Matt 6:33-34

Work as best you can to do the FIRST things, first. This you will find is impossible for you alone. Do not stop in your efforts, but ask God for help to do the impossible. What is impossible for us is possible for Him. You may not see or hear an answer and there may not seemingly be any improvement, but do not cease to reach out to Him. Without providing details, believe me when I say I have been there and have done that. Very likely when He does finally begin to let you know that you have been accepted again, there will be chastisement involved, but don't let that make you quit again. God is greater than any pain and chastisement. He can fix the problem, but you cannot quit trying even though you know that in the end of the matter, it is Him that must accomplish it in you.

If you start to feel the pain and severely difficult struggle within you again, give God the glory and press onward toward Him.

 

[markus]

@markus
As difficult as those attacks were on you it may be that you went to the wrong place for help, because it was not problem to be solved by the wisdom of men and their medicines.

"Let no man deceive himself. If any man among you seemeth to be wise in this world, let him become a fool, that he may be wise.
For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, He taketh the wise in their own craftiness." I Cor 3:18-19

Can you go back to God? That you are able to even ask to me means that, yes, you can. Read the following verses carefully:

"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." Matt 6:33-34

Work as best you can to do the FIRST things, first. This you will find is impossible for you alone. Do not stop in your efforts, but ask God for help to do the impossible. What is impossible for us is possible for Him. You may not see or hear an answer and there may not seemingly be any improvement, but do not cease to reach out to Him. Without providing details, believe me when I say I have been there and have done that. Very likely when He does finally begin to let you know that you have been accepted again, there will be chastisement involved, but don't let that make you quit again. God is greater than any pain and chastisement. He can fix the problem, but you cannot quit trying even though you know that in the end of the matter, it is Him that must accomplish it in you.

If you start to feel the pain and severely difficult struggle within you again, give God the glory and press onward toward Him.

Thank you. The thing I don't understand is how does God communicate with us. During my psychosis I was convinced it was God who talked to me. I believed all the throughout the illness period and yet the hallucinations didn't seem to stop. They were only getting worse.
I don't know why I should be chastised. Being mentally ill wasn't my fault. I need God's mercy now and compassion and guidance.

 

[amadeus2]

Thank you. The thing I don't understand is how does God communicate with us. During my psychosis I was convinced it was God who talked to me. I believed all the throughout the illness period and yet the hallucinations didn't seem to stop. They were only getting worse.
I don't know why I should be chastised. Being mentally ill wasn't my fault. I need God's mercy now and compassion and guidance.

Why should any of us ever be chastised or suffer? Jesus did no wrong ever. No one else is able to say that, yet in spite of his innocence Jesus suffered horribly not only physically but in his heart as well. You may never know exactly why it happened to you, but then again God may share that knowledge with you. But, do not expect it. God's Way is way above our ways. Sometimes part of our increase is dependent on suffering without understanding the why of it. You might want to read the Book of Job for he suffered horribly and was accused falsely by his closest friends. He endured in spite of his so-called friends and even his wife who advised his to curse God and die.

God talks to us in different ways. For some it may be an audible voice seemingly from the air. For others He may speak to you through a person without even the person so used knowing it. For others He may simply impress your mind with certain ideas or words. In other words, we cannot tell ahead of time. He may speak to you one way one time and another way the next.

Keep on reading the Bible, at the first especially the Psalms and the New Testament as well as praying as often as time allows and as it occurs to you to do so. I also have you in my prayers. Others here who read this will also, I am certain, be praying for you.

 

[complete]

Hello @markus

You did the right thing in seeking medical help.

Trust God.

In Christ Jesus
Chris

 

[Hekuran]

Hi @markus You've raised at least two huge questions

1. How can we trust in God when he does not take action to overcome evil or to ease our suffering?
2. How can we tell the difference between hearing the voice of God and a psychotic episode?

Is that a fair summary of the big questions you are struggling with?

I'm not sure I can give direct insight into your situation, so here is my experience given in the hope that it's helpful for you.

In following Jesus for around thirty years, I have only two or three occasions where God has guided me very directly or specifically. For me, hearing the voice of God is almost always a question of discernment and is a mix of conversation with Christian brothers and sisters, time spent in prayer, following the example of Jesus Christ in the gospels and the internal voice of my conscience directed by the Holy Spirit. Thoughtful reflection and reason has its place too.

I know many others hear God much more directly than me. Good for them.

I can understand that you would be very cautious about anything spiritual that felt similar to your experience of psychosis. Some local churches are very good at welcoming and supporting people with mental illness; others not so much. Find a church group nearby that you trust and feel comfortable with. Talk to trusted others honestly about your concerns and ask them to help you to discern God's voice.

 

[markus]

Hi @markus You've raised at least two huge questions

1. How can we trust in God when he does not take action to overcome evil or to ease our suffering?
2. How can we tell the difference between hearing the voice of God and a psychotic episode?

Is that a fair summary of the big questions you are struggling with?

I'm not sure I can give direct insight into your situation, so here is my experience given in the hope that it's helpful for you.

In following Jesus for around thirty years, I have only two or three occasions where God has guided me very directly or specifically. For me, hearing the voice of God is almost always a question of discernment and is a mix of conversation with Christian brothers and sisters, time spent in prayer, following the example of Jesus Christ in the gospels and the internal voice of my conscience directed by the Holy Spirit. Thoughtful reflection and reason has its place too.

I know many others hear God much more directly than me. Good for them.

I can understand that you would be very cautious about anything spiritual that felt similar to your experience of psychosis. Some local churches are very good at welcoming and supporting people with mental illness; others not so much. Find a church group nearby that you trust and feel comfortable with. Talk to trusted others honestly about your concerns and ask them to help you to discern God's voice.

Yes. Exactly the questions I am asking myself. But according to official psychiatry mental illness, especially psychosis-schizophrenia is unpreventable. Caused by genetics, and even trauma. So the brain begins to malfunction, because of the neurotransmitters firing excessively in the brain. So, if it is like any other illness, one might ask why God lets believers suffer from e.g. cancer. My grandma tells me that God is too great to be fully understood by us humans. God is beyond our comprehension. The thing with hearing voices in psychosis is that those affected by them listen to them and obey them. You can be atheist but when you have hallucinations with voices you believe them. Probably the voice of god is not audible but silent speaking to our hearts.

 

[Hekuran]

'Silent speaking to our hearts' is a good way to describe it - it's not at all easy to put into words.

Many thousands of pages have been written about the problem of evil, why God allows suffering. For me the most satisfying answer is simply that God shares in our suffering. In Jesus, God took on every part of being human. So whatever we are going through, he has been there before and understands.

Keep reading the gospels and take note of how Jesus responds to people in pain.

 

[Chopper]

Hi markus, and welcome to our wonderful Christian Forum. I was asked to look at your opening remarks and to see if I could help you. I'm a Christian Psychologist and Spiritual Warfare Counselor.

First of all, you've been hit hard by the enemy of your soul. I have helped others who were attacked by Satan in similar ways, and have been delivered by the power of Christ Jesus thru the Holy Spirit.

If you desire my help, let me know. First, I will have to know about your Salvation. How, when, and why did you receive Jesus as your Savior.

Until then, I'm simply an under Shepherd of God's only Son, Jesus Christ. The Holy Spirit is the real Counselor, and He is the one Who guides my counsel....I'm retired now, at the age of 77, and my counsel is at no cost.

 

[complete]

Hi markus, and welcome to our wonderful Christian Forum. I was asked to look at your opening remarks and to see if I could help you. I'm a Christian Psychologist and Spiritual Warfare Counselor.

First of all, you've been hit hard by the enemy of your soul. I have helped others who were attacked by Satan in similar ways, and have been delivered by the power of Christ Jesus thru the Holy Spirit.

If you desire my help, let me know. First, I will have to know about your Salvation. How, when, and why did you receive Jesus as your Savior.

Until then, I'm simply an under Shepherd of God's only Son, Jesus Christ. The Holy Spirit is the real Counselor, and He is the one Who guides my counsel....I'm retired now, at the age of 77, and my counsel is at no cost.

Hello @Chopper.

Are you suggesting that this is merely 'spiritual attack'?

In Christ Jesus
Chris

 

[Chopper]

Hello @Chopper.

Are you suggesting that this is merely 'spiritual attack'?

In Christ Jesus
Chris

Hi Chris. Look at what he said...."Satan was attacking me everyday with his voice. He would enrage me, so I would become so furious that I was breaking furniture, tearing books, paintings of the wall. After that Satan's snake that worked inside of me enraged me to start beating myself. So I would beat myself in the face and head. I had a completely swollen and bruised face like for 20-30 times at least."

IMO Chris, Markus, somehow, opened a door of the occult for demon control. If he responds to me, hopefully I'll find out by the Holy Spirit. Thank you for your concern.

 

[HisFollower]

[for me anyway] the discourse of the troubled soul can only be satisfied and healed by the Word of God, and not by man made methods.

 

[complete]

@amadeus2
@Hekuran
@HisFollower
@Chopper
@markus

Hello there,

I believe we attribute a great deal to Satan, for which he is not to blame.

However, in Mark 5:3-15 and in Luke 8, is the account of a miracle performed by our Lord upon a man who is described as having 'an unclean spirit', and in Mark 9:17-27 there is another account of a man possessed with 'a foul spirit' (v25). This is evidence of the activity of such beings in the lives of man, yet I would be loath to attribute this to any man.

A relative of mine, who had a psychotic episode at sixteen, and went on to receive a diagnosis of Schizoaffective disorder, which is a chronic mental health condition characterized primarily by symptoms of schizophrenia, such as hallucinations or delusions, and symptoms of a mood disorder, such as mania and depression. He would say that God was talking to him, that demons were troubling him too.

I would value your input.

In Christ Jesus
Chris

 

[amadeus2]

Hello there,

I believe we attribute a great deal to Satan, for which he is not to blame.

However, in Mark 5:3-15 and in Luke 8, is the account of a miracle performed by our Lord upon a man who is described as having 'an unclean spirit', and in Mark 9:17-27 there is another account of a man possessed with 'a foul spirit' (v25). This is evidence of the activity of such beings in the lives of man, yet I would be loath to attribute this to any man.

A relative of mine, who had a psychotic episode at sixteen, and went on to receive a diagnosis of Schizoaffective disorder, which is a chronic mental health condition characterized primarily by symptoms of schizophrenia, such as hallucinations or delusions, and symptoms of a mood disorder, such as mania and depression. He would say that God was talking to him, that demons were troubling him too.

I would value your input.

In Christ Jesus
Chris

Perhaps satan carries a lot of the blame, but in myself for myself I have always looked to man of flesh [the old man of me] and his ways for the culprit. But... no matter the source of our trouble, we know One who is able to deal with it.

Surrender to the Lord is always the best direction to go. Doctors may be able to help but without God in it even they, the best of them, would be helpless.

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me." Psalm 23:4

 

[Hekuran]

I would be very, very cautious about simplistic attributions of cause to mental health problems of any kind. We are created as physical, social, spiritual and emotional people, and the state of our mental health is a reflection of all of this.

I have seen plenty of cases in which well-meaning but misguided Christians have urged people with bi-polar and psychotic episodes to trust in God alone and to give up medication - with disastrous results.

The God-given expertise of professionals should not be scorned. And the contribution of those of us who love Jesus offering consistent, compassionate, prayerful kindness and love cannot be overestimated.

 

[markus]

Hi markus, and welcome to our wonderful Christian Forum. I was asked to look at your opening remarks and to see if I could help you. I'm a Christian Psychologist and Spiritual Warfare Counselor.

First of all, you've been hit hard by the enemy of your soul. I have helped others who were attacked by Satan in similar ways, and have been delivered by the power of Christ Jesus thru the Holy Spirit.

If you desire my help, let me know. First, I will have to know about your Salvation. How, when, and why did you receive Jesus as your Savior.

Until then, I'm simply an under Shepherd of God's only Son, Jesus Christ. The Holy Spirit is the real Counselor, and He is the one Who guides my counsel....I'm retired now, at the age of 77, and my counsel is at no cost.

Well, I was baptized Orthodox when I was a baby. My father was Orthodox, my mother Catholic. But since I was born in a socialist country, my father was in fact atheist, and my mother believed in God and Virgin Mary, but she didn't take us to church because she herself didn't go. Few people did since it was socialism.
Then my mother when I was 10 years old, when the socialism broke down, and democracy - i.e. nationalism came about, she was seduced by Jehovah's Witnesses. So she dragged my father into that religion also, and me, my brother and grandmother. Being Jehovah's Witness was tough, since it was a small town where everyone was Catholic, so I didn't like the derision. I believed in God, whom they call Jehovah, and Jesus Christ. I didn't like preaching door-to-door.

When I went to the university in another city, I felt free and didn't have to attend the meetings of JW and didn't go preaching. Then I met this professor at my university. I was his teaching assistant. And he fascinated me, since he was knowledgeable and he slowly started to mix everything in my head because he studied Tibetan Buddhism, and New age, combined with vast knowledge of art and architecture (since he was an architect).

I never understood Buddhism, and didn't like it. That professor was also interested in the occult, and he believed demons exist. For a while I thought he had a demon inside of him, and in fact I was afraid of him.

I accepted Jesus as my personal Saviour in 2007. And started reading the Gospels and the revelation. Then the said professor showed me a feature film produced by a Christian organization in the USA. It was about the sign of the Beast - being microchip implant. And all those who refused the Antichrist were beheaded in the movie, as it is stated clearly in the Revelation.
So, I believed that film to be true. I was never into the occult, be it astrology, tarot, or whatever magic. I was always afraid of Satan a lot. Since childhood.
Maybe my fear of Satan was greater than my faith in Jesus Christ. But I doubt that since I always felt protected by Jesus.

 

[Lanolin]

Markus

The Lord allows afflictions sometimes to test our faith.
I was tested for many years and was ready to give up...but perservered and got free of demons by Gods grace. I was even diagnosed with some mental illness at one point and was almost sentenced to a life on prescription drugs. I think would be zombied or dead now if still taking them!

Deliverance does work. You mentioned the influence of jehovahs witness and new age, buddhist beliefs. If youve opened the door to them you need Jesus to cast them out, they are destructive. Read the bible everyday and ask God for wisdom. Youve been easily influenced by some false presentations of the gospel was it a Left Behind movie? The left behind movies are just movies based on someones idea of revelation but its not actual Revelation of what will happen.

The book of Revelation was written to John one of Jesus beloved disciples and reveals the hereafter and what heaven will be like for everyone who believes and is saved by the blood of the lamb and the word of their testimony but one cannot add or take away from it, which is what jehovahs witnesses have done.

 

[markus]

Markus

The Lord allows afflictions sometimes to test our faith.
I was tested for many years and was ready to give up...but perservered and got free of demons by Gods grace. I was even diagnosed with some mental illness at one point and was almost sentenced to a life on prescription drugs. I think would be zombied or dead now if still taking them!

Deliverance does work. You mentioned the influence of jehovahs witness and new age, buddhist beliefs. If youve opened the door to them you need Jesus to cast them out, they are destructive. Read the bible everyday and ask God for wisdom. Youve been easily influenced by some false presentations of the gospel was it a Left Behind movie? The left behind movies are just movies based on someones idea of revelation but its not actual Revelation of what will happen.

The book of Revelation was written to John one of Jesus beloved disciples and reveals the hereafter and what heaven will be like for everyone who believes and is saved by the blood of the lamb and the word of their testimony but one cannot add or take away from it, which is what jehovahs witnesses have done.

Hi, thanks. The film was Six: The Mark Unleashed Six: The Mark Unleashed - Wikipedia. Distributed by Trinity Broadcasting Network which is a Christian broadcaster.
I actually believed it is the proof of Revelation. The fact is the microchips implants have already started in USA, e.g. a firm in Wisconsin, had their employees chipped. And in Sweden they use microchip implants in their hands for trains?! So they don't have to buy the ticket - in a paper form, or online on a cell phone but they have their ticket bought on the microchip.
Yes, maybe it was a sinister influence of all those different religions on me. I was always terrified of demons. Now I don't believe they can exert any influence on me if Jesus protects me.

 

[Lanolin]

Well just say no if someone tries to do that to you.
I worked in libraries where the RFID tags got introduced after barcodes. But it's books that get tagged, not people.

 

[markus]

d in libraries where the RFID tags got

Now, I have no idea if RFID chips represent the mark of the Beast described in Revelation. It says in Revelation - he forces all, rich and poor, to take the mark in their right hand or forehead. Those who do not take it will be beheaded, which is only the death of the flesh but it gives eternity. Anyway, those who take the mark of the Beast will not have eternal life with Christ Jesus Almighty.
If that day ever comes during our lifetime I believe the Holy Spirit will tell us what is the Mark of the Beast.