dramaqueen
Member
- Joined
- May 13, 2005
- Messages
- 20
Hello Everyone!
I wanted to first share my testimony with you and then my trip because they go hand in hand.
I have never felt like one of the family because they all have blond hair and blue or green eyes and I have brown hair and brown eyes. When I was younger my mom’s friends would come up to her and say, “Oh wow! All your kids look just like you; they have such pretty blue eyes, except that one!” Growing up was very hard for me; I never thought I was pretty. I would always look at my mom and say "Mom you have such pretty eyes they are not ugly like mine." I grew up knowing that I was not beautiful because I was different; then one day my mom told a wise friend of hers about my pain. My mom’s friend told her to get a book titled, “Daring Faith” a story about the life of Amy Carmichael. The very first chapter was about how she didn’t like the color of her brown eyes. Here is an excerpt from the book that ministered a great deal to me.
“Yes, they where brown. Brown, brown, brown. As brown as two dirty mud puddles. She opened her eyes wide to stare at them in the mirror again. But staring didn't make them any bluer"
I thought how many times I done that very same thing. I don’t know if you know the rest of the story but God blessed Amy with those big brown eyes! If she would not have had brown eyes she would have never been able to go in to the temple and save the Indian babies; It was at that time I knew that God had a plan for me. I didn’t know what it was, but one day I knew, “I am going to do something wonderful for my Lord Jesus Christ.”
Since that time I have wanted to go on missions and asked my mom and dad for about four and a half years. They always said no until one day I remember sitting on my bed, I said, “God if you want me to go then you will make a way” and I left it at that: it was not until the first of the year that I was praying about it and I felt like God said, “Yes this is the year you will go; I have something I want to teach you.”
I went to the TMI web site (Teen Missions Int'l) I was looking around the site and decide to check and see what teams they had open for the year. I felt like He wanted me to go to New Mexico so I got all the information and then prayed over it for awhile to make sure it was really God speaking to my heart and not just me. One morning, I decided to go and talk to mom and dad about missions again. I said, “Mom Dad, I feel like the Lord has called me to go to New Mexico; I feel He really wants to teach me something. He wants to teach me something and I don’t know what but I know that He does.” My mom and dad said, “Well it is funny that you say that; we have felt the same way so yes, you can go.”
I looked at Dad and said, “Dad are you okay? Did you get enough sleep?” I couldn’t believe he was saying yes. I am his baby girl and I know He is extremely protective of me. He would never let me go anywhere, even to friend’s houses so I was in extreme shock! He told me he had plenty of sleep J and said, “If you fell like this is where God wants you then you can go.” During the next several months there was a great deal that needed to be done but the reality of leaving my family began to sink in and each day the trip grew closer I began to question if I really heard the Lords voice, or if mom and dad heard the Lords voice.
A few weeks prior to my leaving, we learned that our little baby was not going to be adopted by us, that he was going to be adopted by his grandma.
Let me tell you a little bit about this baby. When this baby came to us, he was only three days old. The social worker knew he was a little boy and that we were hoping to adopt a little girl but Mom and Dad felt we were to say yes. When he came at first I was kind of mad because I wanted a baby girl. To make me even more upset I found out mom was going to be taking some classes and I would be left at home to take care of a “gross” boy. I use to think all boys were “gross” I have seen frogs dissected by my baby brothers and numerous other things done so boys just seem gross to me. I told my mom, when boys are baby’s they are cute but they grow up to be “BOYS”. However, it wasn’t long before I was the one that slept with him and woke with him as he would wake for his nighttime feedings. I was there when he would wake up scared to comfort him, when he would pull on my hair just because he wanted to play. Over the next six months he became my pride and joy; I didn’t want to go to my friends house or even my grandmas house because I knew I couldn’t take him with me and I knew he would miss me and really, I would miss having my baby on my hip. The thought of leaving him would make me cry; I know it sounds funny but he was mine and not my mom’s or dad’s OR even his grandma’s. I raised him, I knew him like no one else; I knew what would make him smile, when he was hungry how he liked to be rocked before he went to sleep, how he wanted his blanket and what toys were his favorite. I knew all about him and I loved him! I would share my thoughts with him, and tell him my feelings. He would look at me with those big brown eyes and I knew that he understood me: we where one of a kind and too just talk about him is making me cry. There will never be any one else that can make me feel the way I felt when I was with him. Yet, to go on this trip, I would have to leave him and that was very, very hard for me. Then my mom said one thing that really meant a lot to me. She said, “Bekah-girl you are going there to serve God not yourself honey, but him. I will do all I can to see if they will let him stay until you come home from your trip so you can say good-bye.” I was able to say ok; I can go because he will still be here when I get back! I went on my trip with that plan in my mind; my mom would email me and write me letters telling me how he was doing.
God gave me two great friends for this one special day in my life, the date was July 26th, I got a letter from my mom saying that my “baby” was gone “he will leave the 23 of July” her letter said. I ran throughout the camp asking my friends, “Do you know what day it is?” Finally, one of them said it was the 26th. I just went to our eating site (it was the closet place to sit) and cried, and cried and cried. I could not believe that God would to this to me. I was so angry; I went to bed that night asking God, “Why, Why did you take away the only thing I have ever loved? Why God? Why would you do this to me?” I did not pray, talk or read my Bible for two to three days. Then one day my LDR saw me not reading my Bible at Devo time and said " Read the Bible now or get an SB" ( special blessing). I just opened the Bible up and said "what ever I land on I will read" so I thumbed thru it and landed on Job and this is what I read, "Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD." and it was then that I realized that God had taken away the thing I love but he also gave me friends that were there for me when I was hurting, and best of all, I have the memories. That is when I surrendered all my own hurt and pain and wants to the Lord. God has blessed me with the memory of my “baby” I will always remember how the Lord taught me so much through his life. I learned to give of myself and to serve Gods plan not mine.
I remember going to my friends one night and asking for prayer. I was at a point in my life where I had to rely completely on God. Mom was no where around to help me I had to learn to trust GOD.
That was the biggest thing I learned on this missions trip. I loved my team and have found some new lifelong friends. It was really hard work; there were times I was sick because I was working so hard in such high temperatures but no matter how cold, hot, wet or miserable I was on the outside, no matter what yucky food I had to eat I was happy; happy because I was sharing the Lord with others!
When I came home I shared this story with mom and dad. Mom said, “Bekah-girl it sounds like God became your God and not just your mom and dad’s God.” I guess that really sums up what happened on my trip; He became MY God!
I wanted to first share my testimony with you and then my trip because they go hand in hand.
I have never felt like one of the family because they all have blond hair and blue or green eyes and I have brown hair and brown eyes. When I was younger my mom’s friends would come up to her and say, “Oh wow! All your kids look just like you; they have such pretty blue eyes, except that one!” Growing up was very hard for me; I never thought I was pretty. I would always look at my mom and say "Mom you have such pretty eyes they are not ugly like mine." I grew up knowing that I was not beautiful because I was different; then one day my mom told a wise friend of hers about my pain. My mom’s friend told her to get a book titled, “Daring Faith” a story about the life of Amy Carmichael. The very first chapter was about how she didn’t like the color of her brown eyes. Here is an excerpt from the book that ministered a great deal to me.
“Yes, they where brown. Brown, brown, brown. As brown as two dirty mud puddles. She opened her eyes wide to stare at them in the mirror again. But staring didn't make them any bluer"
I thought how many times I done that very same thing. I don’t know if you know the rest of the story but God blessed Amy with those big brown eyes! If she would not have had brown eyes she would have never been able to go in to the temple and save the Indian babies; It was at that time I knew that God had a plan for me. I didn’t know what it was, but one day I knew, “I am going to do something wonderful for my Lord Jesus Christ.”
Since that time I have wanted to go on missions and asked my mom and dad for about four and a half years. They always said no until one day I remember sitting on my bed, I said, “God if you want me to go then you will make a way” and I left it at that: it was not until the first of the year that I was praying about it and I felt like God said, “Yes this is the year you will go; I have something I want to teach you.”
I went to the TMI web site (Teen Missions Int'l) I was looking around the site and decide to check and see what teams they had open for the year. I felt like He wanted me to go to New Mexico so I got all the information and then prayed over it for awhile to make sure it was really God speaking to my heart and not just me. One morning, I decided to go and talk to mom and dad about missions again. I said, “Mom Dad, I feel like the Lord has called me to go to New Mexico; I feel He really wants to teach me something. He wants to teach me something and I don’t know what but I know that He does.” My mom and dad said, “Well it is funny that you say that; we have felt the same way so yes, you can go.”
I looked at Dad and said, “Dad are you okay? Did you get enough sleep?” I couldn’t believe he was saying yes. I am his baby girl and I know He is extremely protective of me. He would never let me go anywhere, even to friend’s houses so I was in extreme shock! He told me he had plenty of sleep J and said, “If you fell like this is where God wants you then you can go.” During the next several months there was a great deal that needed to be done but the reality of leaving my family began to sink in and each day the trip grew closer I began to question if I really heard the Lords voice, or if mom and dad heard the Lords voice.
A few weeks prior to my leaving, we learned that our little baby was not going to be adopted by us, that he was going to be adopted by his grandma.
Let me tell you a little bit about this baby. When this baby came to us, he was only three days old. The social worker knew he was a little boy and that we were hoping to adopt a little girl but Mom and Dad felt we were to say yes. When he came at first I was kind of mad because I wanted a baby girl. To make me even more upset I found out mom was going to be taking some classes and I would be left at home to take care of a “gross” boy. I use to think all boys were “gross” I have seen frogs dissected by my baby brothers and numerous other things done so boys just seem gross to me. I told my mom, when boys are baby’s they are cute but they grow up to be “BOYS”. However, it wasn’t long before I was the one that slept with him and woke with him as he would wake for his nighttime feedings. I was there when he would wake up scared to comfort him, when he would pull on my hair just because he wanted to play. Over the next six months he became my pride and joy; I didn’t want to go to my friends house or even my grandmas house because I knew I couldn’t take him with me and I knew he would miss me and really, I would miss having my baby on my hip. The thought of leaving him would make me cry; I know it sounds funny but he was mine and not my mom’s or dad’s OR even his grandma’s. I raised him, I knew him like no one else; I knew what would make him smile, when he was hungry how he liked to be rocked before he went to sleep, how he wanted his blanket and what toys were his favorite. I knew all about him and I loved him! I would share my thoughts with him, and tell him my feelings. He would look at me with those big brown eyes and I knew that he understood me: we where one of a kind and too just talk about him is making me cry. There will never be any one else that can make me feel the way I felt when I was with him. Yet, to go on this trip, I would have to leave him and that was very, very hard for me. Then my mom said one thing that really meant a lot to me. She said, “Bekah-girl you are going there to serve God not yourself honey, but him. I will do all I can to see if they will let him stay until you come home from your trip so you can say good-bye.” I was able to say ok; I can go because he will still be here when I get back! I went on my trip with that plan in my mind; my mom would email me and write me letters telling me how he was doing.
God gave me two great friends for this one special day in my life, the date was July 26th, I got a letter from my mom saying that my “baby” was gone “he will leave the 23 of July” her letter said. I ran throughout the camp asking my friends, “Do you know what day it is?” Finally, one of them said it was the 26th. I just went to our eating site (it was the closet place to sit) and cried, and cried and cried. I could not believe that God would to this to me. I was so angry; I went to bed that night asking God, “Why, Why did you take away the only thing I have ever loved? Why God? Why would you do this to me?” I did not pray, talk or read my Bible for two to three days. Then one day my LDR saw me not reading my Bible at Devo time and said " Read the Bible now or get an SB" ( special blessing). I just opened the Bible up and said "what ever I land on I will read" so I thumbed thru it and landed on Job and this is what I read, "Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD." and it was then that I realized that God had taken away the thing I love but he also gave me friends that were there for me when I was hurting, and best of all, I have the memories. That is when I surrendered all my own hurt and pain and wants to the Lord. God has blessed me with the memory of my “baby” I will always remember how the Lord taught me so much through his life. I learned to give of myself and to serve Gods plan not mine.
I remember going to my friends one night and asking for prayer. I was at a point in my life where I had to rely completely on God. Mom was no where around to help me I had to learn to trust GOD.
That was the biggest thing I learned on this missions trip. I loved my team and have found some new lifelong friends. It was really hard work; there were times I was sick because I was working so hard in such high temperatures but no matter how cold, hot, wet or miserable I was on the outside, no matter what yucky food I had to eat I was happy; happy because I was sharing the Lord with others!
When I came home I shared this story with mom and dad. Mom said, “Bekah-girl it sounds like God became your God and not just your mom and dad’s God.” I guess that really sums up what happened on my trip; He became MY God!
