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Mixed Signals

Joined
Oct 13, 2007
Messages
786
Dear brothers and sisters,

I hope you can help me before I lose my mind! I met this guy through a friend over a month ago, and all he asked for was my e-mail, and he's always sending me and saying he wants to see me (which never happens, cause he's a pilot and always travelling).

He really acts nice and I know he cares, but he's very slow at everything, and he said he was bad at making the first move, and he can't rush, but then he said he just got out of a 3 years old relationship and that he wasn't ready for a relationship with any one at this moment, and I denied that I wanted more than his friendship as well (I didn't wanna seem so desperate) and I acted very cool about it.

The thing is, he acts jealous around my male friends, asking me to stop talking to some of them or even seeing them, and making it seem like a joke, is he joking? maybe I'm just over reacting?

I mean, he said he doesn't want any relationship but he's always asking about me, and acting all jealous, what does he want then? and how am I supposed to react to all of this?

He's a very good Christian, and a very responsible wise man, but I can't tell what he wants.
 
I hope God will lend me His wisdom with this one. As I have just got out of an abusive relationship myself, I know the signs. Also there is a Christian and a Sunday Christian, which one is he? Asking you to stop talking to your male friends when he isnt even dating you? Jealousy? My ex used to abuse me mentally and phisically, and I can tell you the mental was the worst part of that. I am not judging, nor am I going to tell you what to do. I will pray that you find your answer through God himself. God also asks us to take care of ourselves however. But jealousy and insecurity are BIG NONOs in my book. Those are the signs and I wouldnt relive my past relationship if I was being given a check for a million dollars. I was so miserable. I will pray for you and hope you find the right answer.

Dear brothers and sisters,

I hope you can help me before I lose my mind! I met this guy through a friend over a month ago, and all he asked for was my e-mail, and he's always sending me and saying he wants to see me (which never happens, cause he's a pilot and always travelling).

He really acts nice and I know he cares, but he's very slow at everything, and he said he was bad at making the first move, and he can't rush, but then he said he just got out of a 3 years old relationship and that he wasn't ready for a relationship with any one at this moment, and I denied that I wanted more than his friendship as well (I didn't wanna seem so desperate) and I acted very cool about it.

The thing is, he acts jealous around my male friends, asking me to stop talking to some of them or even seeing them, and making it seem like a joke, is he joking? maybe I'm just over reacting?

I mean, he said he doesn't want any relationship but he's always asking about me, and acting all jealous, what does he want then? and how am I supposed to react to all of this?

He's a very good Christian, and a very responsible wise man, but I can't tell what he wants.
 
First of all, no man is worth losing your mind over!

He's a very good Christian, and a very responsible wise man, but I can't tell what he wants.
....To add to what Angel's love said, true Christian men, will not be ambiguous when dealing with women and with matters that can adversely affect the hearts of their sister's in Christ. They will be up front and make things absolutely clear about their intentions and where they feel a relationship stands, as well as where they see the relationship is headed. These matters are very serious and shouldn't be trifled with.
You may want to consider moving on. Best wishes.
 
he said he just got out of a 3 years old relationship and that he wasn't ready for a relationship with any one at this moment

It seems to me that this quote gives the whole story about this guy - he is on the rebound after having ended a three year relationship (and been wounded in the process).

I don't think this fellow is ready for a relationship and probably won't be for quite a while. However, he hates the single life and he probably feels inferior, which is why he wants a new fish (you) on his hook for when he's ready to risk a new girlfriend. How sad it is that single men and women are made to feel inferior when they aren't in a relationship.

SLE
 
Thanks SLD, you described it really well.

I'd like to point out that this guy never played me or lied, he was very clear and honest, and never abused me, for what it is worth, he's been nothing but kind to me. I just didn't want people having the wrong idea about him, it's unfair to him, so here it goes, I'm clearing it :)

Thank you all for your help!
 
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