My fiancee believes the bible holds us back and we can do whatever the h*** we want

[Terridecker]

Let me start with this my fiancee and i have been together for six years... I could not answer the question as to why we are not married yet other than he wants to give me a fairytale wedding and we cant afford that... But it might be a blessing there might be a bigger reason why we are not married yet... As of rite now we have two biological children together.. This is really hard for me to swallow.. All this time i have been under the impression that my fiancee has a relationship with god of sometype, i always believed that he had some connection with god, he even led me to believe this all this time... All this time i have felt filthy for being with him unwed and two children and its like sin after sin after sin... Okay now im gonna get to the point about all this... The other night i was watching videos by gabe the street preacher on youtube and the video was titled "The bible holds us back, we can do whatever the H**l we want!" And my fiancee seen the title and he goes I agree with that guy..But then my fiancee says stuff like well i do belive there is a god but who he is and what he is idk and says things to me when i talk to him about the bible are you sure you want to be worshipping something like that.. A year ago i had a mental breakdown because of him and i was baker acted for 2 weeks some pretty sketchy stuff happened when i had the mental breakdown i was having hallucinations and i thought that he was literally satan and he knew i was having a mental breakdown he let it go on for 2 or 3 months it got so bad that i thought i was literally an angel waiting for the right time to explode out of my body and start ushering in the end of the world anyways before i thought i was a angel i thought my fiancee was literally satan and that he was going to do everything in his power to get my soul.. I could literally feel the life being sucked out of me i felt so drained i felt like i was dying and this one particular night i was telling him stuff i have no idea what iwas telling him i was hallucinating but he literally told me tp shut the f*** up and suck his d*** and in the conditon i was... I actually did it... I am now medicaided and i know that i was hallucinating but i think these are all extremely high red flags... Idk what to do.. We have to children together a 5yr old and a 3yr old.. It makes me so sick... But now most of all i just feel so numb to everything... I have no immediate family.. I have no where to go.. I have no job... We live in the middle of no where the closest thing to civilization is 25 miles away.. I have no vehicle.. I am in a terrible situation that i see no escape from.. And like i said he has been my fiancee for six years i used to think that i wanted to be married to him... But after a year and a half ago i have been on the fence and i know i shouldnt marry him.. I dont know what to do i dont want a broken family... But to me it already feels so broken... Any advice helps..

 

[Bendito]

Let me start with this my fiancee and i have been together for six years... I could not answer the question as to why we are not married yet other than he wants to give me a fairytale wedding and we cant afford that... But it might be a blessing there might be a bigger reason why we are not married yet... As of rite now we have two biological children together.. This is really hard for me to swallow.. All this time i have been under the impression that my fiancee has a relationship with god of sometype, i always believed that he had some connection with god, he even led me to believe this all this time... All this time i have felt filthy for being with him unwed and two children and its like sin after sin after sin... Okay now im gonna get to the point about all this... The other night i was watching videos by gabe the street preacher on youtube and the video was titled "The bible holds us back, we can do whatever the H**l we want!" And my fiancee seen the title and he goes I agree with that guy..But then my fiancee says stuff like well i do belive there is a god but who he is and what he is idk and says things to me when i talk to him about the bible are you sure you want to be worshipping something like that.. A year ago i had a mental breakdown because of him and i was baker acted for 2 weeks some pretty sketchy stuff happened when i had the mental breakdown i was having hallucinations and i thought that he was literally satan and he knew i was having a mental breakdown he let it go on for 2 or 3 months it got so bad that i thought i was literally an angel waiting for the right time to explode out of my body and start ushering in the end of the world anyways before i thought i was a angel i thought my fiancee was literally satan and that he was going to do everything in his power to get my soul.. I could literally feel the life being sucked out of me i felt so drained i felt like i was dying and this one particular night i was telling him stuff i have no idea what iwas telling him i was hallucinating but he literally told me tp shut the f*** up and suck his d*** and in the conditon i was... I actually did it... I am now medicaided and i know that i was hallucinating but i think these are all extremely high red flags... Idk what to do.. We have to children together a 5yr old and a 3yr old.. It makes me so sick... But now most of all i just feel so numb to everything... I have no immediate family.. I have no where to go.. I have no job... We live in the middle of no where the closest thing to civilization is 25 miles away.. I have no vehicle.. I am in a terrible situation that i see no escape from.. And like i said he has been my fiancee for six years i used to think that i wanted to be married to him... But after a year and a half ago i have been on the fence and i know i shouldnt marry him.. I dont know what to do i dont want a broken family... But to me it already feels so broken... Any advice helps..

You need to speak with a GOOD Christian counselor. This is too big for this group. God bless

 

[Terridecker]

You need to speak with a GOOD Christian counselor. This is too big for this group. God bless

I honestly do not believe that that will help.. In my opinion my mind is already made up... But my actions aren't going to follow my thoughts because i have a family to take care of... Im not going to let it fall apart.. So i guess im just going to suffer through it.. Which isnt going to be good for me pshcologically.. Thanks for the advice... But i dont see the point in going to a christian counselor.. I mean what would be the purpose of going in the first place? I was with a man that i thought was someone else than what he really is.. Someone he rarely lets me see but is showing to me more and more day by day a person that i cant even hardly tolerate.. So it has failed and i dont see repairing it how the f do you do that ish to someone your suppose to love trust me he might love me on some degree or level.. But its not what most people would consider love.. So why am i still with him.. Well in previous message i stated i am pretty well stuck and i dont say anything in my defense i just usually let him do what thd heck ever because im afraid of retaliation i am afraid of him telling me to leave.. And me not having any where to go... He used to tell me that when we forst got together amd he said or dis something that was off and i would say something tobhim about it he would say then just leave... Idk this is a hel*a bad situation.. I feel trapped and i feel isolated and im more scared of everything then i have ever been in my life.. Anyways like i said i dont think a christian counselor can help in this situation.. Im looking for ideas on what the he** to do.. I mean forreal what do i do?

 

[Bendito]

I honestly do not believe that that will help.. In my opinion my mind is already made up... But my actions aren't going to follow my thoughts because i have a family to take care of... Im not going to let it fall apart.. So i guess im just going to suffer through it.. Which isnt going to be good for me pshcologically.. Thanks for the advice... But i dont see the point in going to a christian counselor.. I mean what would be the purpose of going in the first place? I was with a man that i thought was someone else than what he really is.. Someone he rarely lets me see but is showing to me more and more day by day a person that i cant even hardly tolerate.. So it has failed and i dont see repairing it how the f do you do that ish to someone your suppose to love trust me he might love me on some degree or level.. But its not what most people would consider love.. So why am i still with him.. Well in previous message i stated i am pretty well stuck and i dont say anything in my defense i just usually let him do what thd heck ever because im afraid of retaliation i am afraid of him telling me to leave.. And me not having any where to go... He used to tell me that when we forst got together amd he said or dis something that was off and i would say something tobhim about it he would say then just leave... Idk this is a hel*a bad situation.. I feel trapped and i feel isolated and im more scared of everything then i have ever been in my life.. Anyways like i said i dont think a christian counselor can help in this situation.. Im looking for ideas on what the he** to do.. I mean forreal what do i do?

Yes Ma'am. You could do that. Your decision, based on emotion, will leave you bruised and hurting, but it WILL bend and break your children. It will leave sons believing they can live with a woman with no commitment and it will leave the girls believing the way you are doing it is the only way to do it. Children learn by example far far more than they learn from what you say.
So go ahead and stay with him, Then watch your kids do the same self destructive lifestyle.
I'm talking to you straight up because I believe that sympathy is not warranted in a decision like you are facing.

 

[Terridecker]

Yes Ma'am. You could do that. Your decision, based on emotion, will leave you bruised and hurting, but it WILL bend and break your children. It will leave sons believing they can live with a woman with no commitment and it will leave the girls believing the way you are doing it is the only way to do it. Children learn by example far far more than they learn from what you say.
So go ahead and stay with him, Then watch your kids do the same self destructive lifestyle.
I'm talking to you straight up because I believe that sympathy is not warranted in a decision like you are facing.

Thank you for your honest opinion.. I feel the same way.. I just dont know what to do about it.. But i am sure that soon things will fall into place.. Like i said in previous message it is probably a blessing that i have not married this man.. Whats worse is i am now completely shutoff to any kind of relationship with anyone but my children and myself.. But maybe its best that way

 

[Bendito]

Thank you for your honest opinion.. I feel the same way.. I just dont know what to do about it.. But i am sure that soon things will fall into place.. Like i said in previous message it is probably a blessing that i have not married this man.. Whats worse is i am now completely shutoff to any kind of relationship with anyone but my children and myself.. But maybe its best that way

I know how hard it can be Terri. I've seen it in my own family. Still...put on your walking boots. Your kids can handle rough times as long as mom loves them....There is help out there to help you get on your feet. And Christian men who will even marry you and your kids, when its time

 

[Fragrant Grace]

Greetings @Terridecker

You are at a crossroads here.....you know a decision needs to be made.
Call out to the Lord to make the way clear for you and your dear children.
Trust that He will not leave you nor forsake you.
Are you ready?

Ive been their Terri....I ignored all the signs, opportunities to and openings to break free.
It took a life/death situation for me to finally get away with my children.
Once I was free from the abusive relationship I felt a noose had been cut from my neck....and the beautiful light of the Lord flooded back in
Dont leave it that long Terri......you know you are in the wrong place now.
Seek the Lord to open an escape door for you.....He will.

Blessings grace and peace

 

[Dovegiven]

No mother is expected, anywhere in America, to suffer abuse. Visit a licensed counselor, including a qualified Christian if you can find one. Such are rare, and if they are good, are likely up to their neck in cases. You surely need to start a case concerning state laws, especially concerning child welfare, with officials who can work out problems like yours. A wise pastor is likely to have seen these problems, should be able to arrange for an intercessor. One way is to ask for a health physician to help connect you to a county or state health agency to visit, assessing your needs. The ideal thing is to start couple's counseling with him involved. The main strength in this is those children. Most states insist they live in a suitable environment at home. All of that can result in temporary removal of children while experts work through the case. There are women's facilities all across the nation, certainly Christian-based, where you could move to, giving you space to heal. Lacking that there are also city, county and state facilities, and quite often mothers and their children are kept together. When authorities are comfortable with a mother having her children back on her own, then most states will begin assisting that mother with a place to live and basic necessities met. Alongside that can come job training, help with finding employment, having child care so you can work, health care access, etc..

I hope you will be open to a Christian women's facility dealing with abused women where you can grow in Christ, as well as build confidence, as soon as possible. The place to begin, though, is through county or state agency, providing a safe exodus for you and children. Later, of course, will possibly come a bid from your fiancee for partial custody. That's something he will have to establish on his own merit, convincing the experts of his suitability. It's far more difficult for a man to win any custody, the mothers being favored as long as the mother is deemed suitable.

If the man has been faithful, the Bible leans to you two to make it work. But intercession is first in order. The man might be saved along the way, repent, prove his undivided love for you. With God all things are possible including his spiritual healing while the two of you take a time out from each other. That's Bible too, that you two ought to be equally yoked. You are not required to act as his wife outside marriage, so he doesn't have a right to demand sex. Refuse that, because that alone opens the door to devilish things that often destroy people.
Mark 9:23 (KJV) 23 Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.

 

[Jesus_is_LORD]

Keeping you in prayer.

 

[spreadingtheGospel]

Let me start with this my fiancee and i have been together for six years... I could not answer the question as to why we are not married yet other than he wants to give me a fairytale wedding and we cant afford that... But it might be a blessing there might be a bigger reason why we are not married yet... As of rite now we have two biological children together.. This is really hard for me to swallow.. All this time i have been under the impression that my fiancee has a relationship with god of sometype, i always believed that he had some connection with god, he even led me to believe this all this time... All this time i have felt filthy for being with him unwed and two children and its like sin after sin after sin... Okay now im gonna get to the point about all this... The other night i was watching videos by gabe the street preacher on youtube and the video was titled "The bible holds us back, we can do whatever the H**l we want!" And my fiancee seen the title and he goes I agree with that guy..But then my fiancee says stuff like well i do belive there is a god but who he is and what he is idk and says things to me when i talk to him about the bible are you sure you want to be worshipping something like that.. A year ago i had a mental breakdown because of him and i was baker acted for 2 weeks some pretty sketchy stuff happened when i had the mental breakdown i was having hallucinations and i thought that he was literally satan and he knew i was having a mental breakdown he let it go on for 2 or 3 months it got so bad that i thought i was literally an angel waiting for the right time to explode out of my body and start ushering in the end of the world anyways before i thought i was a angel i thought my fiancee was literally satan and that he was going to do everything in his power to get my soul.. I could literally feel the life being sucked out of me i felt so drained i felt like i was dying and this one particular night i was telling him stuff i have no idea what iwas telling him i was hallucinating but he literally told me tp shut the f*** up and suck his d*** and in the conditon i was... I actually did it... I am now medicaided and i know that i was hallucinating but i think these are all extremely high red flags... Idk what to do.. We have to children together a 5yr old and a 3yr old.. It makes me so sick... But now most of all i just feel so numb to everything... I have no immediate family.. I have no where to go.. I have no job... We live in the middle of no where the closest thing to civilization is 25 miles away.. I have no vehicle.. I am in a terrible situation that i see no escape from.. And like i said he has been my fiancee for six years i used to think that i wanted to be married to him... But after a year and a half ago i have been on the fence and i know i shouldnt marry him.. I dont know what to do i dont want a broken family... But to me it already feels so broken... Any advice helps..

Hey I have a question for you, will this be the 1st marriage for both of you?

 

[Lily Miller]

Times may be hard, but keep Jesus in your heart and pray to him, ask him for truth!!

 

[Hiswillbedone]

The idea of getting a Christian counselor is good, but I can see that being difficult since you seem to live in the middle of nowhere and you won't be able to do that without your fiance knowing about it.

I would suggest you open your Bible everyday and read the four Gospels. Read what Jesus spoke, and ask Him to show you what to do. I am certain that if you do this, then you will find the answer that will help in this situation.

Jesus is a 'wonderful counselor', so if you trust in Him, then He will give you the answer that will be the best way forward. It may not be the easiest thing to do, but it will certainly be the best thing for you, your kids, and your fiance.

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths
(Proverbs 3:5-6)

Believe these words, then act when Jesus tells you to.

In peace