Dear Sister,
I'm sorry to hear that the kittens did not make it, and even sadder that you consider the marriage you are in a bad one.
There is always hope in your Heavenly Father, that what now is a horror of one bad experience after another in marriage, and I am here to tell you that this hope is real! Not necessarily from my own, which has been a rollercoaster in itself, but by His Grace one I can say has brought me great joy even through the trials. Rather, it's from the Marriage of my Mother & Father who have since gone home to be with the Lord.
A short story, whereby the faithfulness of one woman was able to in prayer, to move the heart and spirit of man that was all about the temporal experiences, and not the things of God. My earthly father found out that those who considered him friends were not. His Dr. told him that he had to stop drinking or it would kill him. Even though his friends knew this, they still insisted that they all go out to drink as they usually did. After their night of carousing they dropped him on the sidewalk outside his house, not even taking the time to take into the house. So, my mother, who was slight of build and standing only 4'11" had to drag him into the apartment where they lived behind a Barbershop he owned at the time. She nursed him back to health and prayed over him. As the days passed, his health returned, and he knew that the only reason he was still alive was because of her caring for him. He asked her "Why do you care for me, when I have done nothing but bad things to you?" You have to understand that my mother would get stopped by other women in the street and told that "He's my man!". My mother won't say anything, and just go about her business. This along with his going out and drinking is what she dealt with for some years. Keeping all these things to herself. At least until she was asked that question by my father, in what could have easily been his death bed. What she said next when asked that question by my father, changed his life, and their marriage. She said: "Let me tell you about my Jesus..." After getting back his health, he started to go to church, accepted the Lord as his Savior and was baptized! I never knew this temporal dad, because I was born after he came to the Lord, and so my memories of him always included seeing him bed at night, reading the Bible.
Being faithful to God, and letting him guide you, and Him being the One Who changes is the most reliable thing you can do. Taking it before our Lord in Prayer to the Throne of Mercy is the charge you have as a Wife, as its the Husbands duty to do so for his wife as well. When one fails, then the other picks up the slack, being the faithful one as God has commanded us to be! It may not seem like its fair, or appear that our partner will change, but remember we Serve a God that the Word impossible doesn't exist, and understanding how great His Love is for us through Jesus Christ should be a constant reminder to us, least in the midst of all the Earthly Turmoil we forget. Doing this let's you know that fair, is something we should never contemplate! He has been more than fair in His dealings with us, and Loves us greatly in spite of all our failings.
Dear Sister, we have a prayer forum here, and you should take advantage of the Brothers & Sisters in Christ Jesus who would help stand in the gap with you in prayer. I truly hope that all things in your life will continue to head you in the direction of His Great Love for you, and the path for His will in your life will shine brightly as He moves mightily in your life and in your marriage! To His Glory and Praise! In the name of Jesus.
Sending prayers Heavenward on your behalf, and for your Husband.
With the Love of Christ Jesus.
YBIC
Nick
\o/
<><
