My husband............

[Sidddaganit]

Please pray for me, my husband left me on Thanksgiving day, and our one year is in December. This is how he did it...He woke me up (after he slept in another part of the house), and told me he was leaving. He told me he was going to go & get him apartment until he could learn to balance both families (ex-wife and kids and my son and I).

Come to find out he went back to her, I was devastated, because I thought he was still in the general area (well now he is about 15 hours away from me). He asked me to move to the area (exwife, etc are at) for at least the last six months, but I refused. It was too much drama here, so I can't imagine how much drama that would have caused.

Several christrian friends have told me not to divorce, and several others have told me to divorce him. I know what my mind is telling me to do, but my heart is saying hold on....

Please keep me in your prayers.

 

[maciek]

God will show you the best

Very sad to hear sister the story...You start praying for all the husbands who have left their wives and all the women who are suffering because of their husbands left...Surely I shall remember you with all the women having problem with their husbands...Jesus will show you the best..

 

[stephen]

A very difficult situation for you dear sister. You can only live one day at time. That is as much as any can do.

Praying for you at this time. Lord Jesus I lift this lady up before you in my prayer today. I commit this situation to you dear Lord.

 

[Sidddaganit]

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. My anniversary was 12/31/06 (one year). This is my first marriage and possibly my last one. The hurt is almost unbearable, because I still have to maintain a home, my child, and work.

I know right now God is carrying me, because my family does not live here, and I don't know what to do...but pray

So thank you once again.

 

[Word of Life]

As Stephen says, this is a very difficult and painful situation that you are in. Keep praying sister, asking God to give you the strength to get through each day.

Something that I learnt this morning in prayer with the Father, as there were times I felt I was just repeating myself in prayer, saying the same things over and over each day, I didn't feel right with it, so when I was busy talking to our Father this morning, I asked Jesus to intercede and pray to the Father for me, because He knows my heart and concerns and what I am going through and what areas of help I need.

What a wonderful experience that was. I spoke in a completely different language, than what I usually speak, which had power and with so much authority, it blew me away for a moment. It was just amazing and so wonderful to hear.

So if you feel you need help, Jesus will really help you, with your prayers.

I will pray also for you dear sister, God bless you and take care.

 

[Faithful Son]

It is very sad news dear sister Sidddaganit, Word of Life has some great advice for you there. I think the main thing is though our heavenly Father is not a rock, He wants the best for us, and because He wants the best for us He allows Jesus to intercede, step forward and say Dad, please help sister Sidddaganit.

God bless your heart dear sister, I will pray for you as this day goes on.

Much love
teraside

 

[Sidddaganit]

I know I need to pray, and I know have the rights to divorce him because he committed adultery emotionally and physically. I have not broken my vows, because we are still married. But I am so angry and hurt that I want to go out and "lean" on someone for comfort. I know that this is wrong, but I am hurting too.

I still pray for him, but I don't want to.......but it's the right thing to do. I spoke to a pastor (he comes around our office almost every Wednesday). First, he told me not to divorce him (1st part of December). After the holidays, the paster asked had my husband contacted me, I told him no..not since 11/23/06. He then told me, I had waited long enough and to divorce him.

I am so confused....

 

[maciek]

Do you think divorce is the solution?

I am sorry to hear the way your husband treats you. But my question is that do you think the divorce is the solution? Can you still do something more? Pray, wait and contact him. I am sure the Lord is with the poor, suffering and persecuted. He will support you, seek His support and I shall be praying for you..

 

[Faithful Son]

I am so confused....

Hi there sister, listen to your Lord, to no one else.

Matthew 5:31-32

Divorce
31"It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.' 32But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.

Ask Jesus for guidance, if you feel that God wants you to divorce him, do it without doubt or hesitation, if not, ask God to lead you in the road to reconsilliation.

 

[Sidddaganit]

I do not know the solution. I have attempted to contact him through his cellphone. He had it disconnected five days after he left. So I have no other way of contacting him.

Waiting and not hearing from him only hurts worse. How I found out he that he actually left was by calling his job, several days after he left, because he would not call me back. So I called his job, and that's when they informed me he had a quit a day before Thanksgiving (2006). Also, he cited the reason for separation was due to his health....?????go figure....

I am sorry to hear the way your husband treats you. But my question is that do you think the divorce is the solution? Can you still do something more? Pray, wait and contact him. I am sure the Lord is with the poor, suffering and persecuted. He will support you, seek His support and I shall be praying for you..[/QUOTE

 

[Sidddaganit]

So even if I thought of remarrying someone else (not on my mind at this particular time). Technically, I would be committing the act of adultery???



Matthew 5:31-32

Divorce
31"It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.' 32But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.

Ask Jesus for guidance, if you feel that God wants you to divorce him, do it without doubt or hesitation, if not, ask God to lead you in the road to reconsilliation.[/QUOTE]

 

[Faithful Son]

Yes, read this:

Matthew 5:27-30
Adultery
27"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' 28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

 

[maciek]

No chance of coming back?

So you are very sure that he will not turn back? So you approach your pastor and discuss with him the next step. I shall surely pray for you. I am sure God will show you some way out to this problem..

 

[Sidddaganit]

Sisters and brothers, thanks for all of your support, especially with the scriptures. Because I thought, I had the grounds for divorce because he had the affair....not knowing that if I do, I am placing my self in a position to commit adultery.

January 23 will be two months since I've seen or heard anything from him. I guess I thought abandonment and adultery would be the ultimate thing for someone to have grounds for divorce.

I love my husband, but I hate all the things he is done to my son and me. I know God is God of all things, and inorder for me to take him back God (our Lord and Savior) will have to change me too. What I mean by change is asks God to not let me hold any resentments toward him....

Lord God I need you more than ever in my life rright now. Lord I thank you for allowing these Christians to be their for me and support me with scriptures and words of encouragement. Thank you Lord, AMEN.

 

[Faithful Son]

Sister, I think you made a simple mistake, We are not saying you will commit adultery by divorcing your husband, rather I am giving you the facts as Jesus said them to be. You do have grounds for divorce and by divorcing him you are not commiting adultery, please click on this link below and read the whole topic regarding divorce.

http://www.talkjesus.com/scriptural-answers/350-divorce.html

 

[Sidddaganit]

Thank you for posting the topic on divorce..

I read it, but will have to probably read again, because it contains so much information. Nevertheless, I do have some questions, and please help me understand the passage below. My question regarding the passage below is, I was put away by my husband, and I have not sinned (fornication, etc)...and if I remarry how will I NOT commit adultery? If I commit adultery by remarrying, how can I be forgiven? I don't know...... I hope the aformentioned makes sense.


**It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery**

 

[Faithful Son]

Okay sister, we have to ask the Spirit to lead us in this passage, let me explain it to you, you are on the right path.

It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery:

The above is quite clear, if a man divorces his wife, EXCEPT for adultery which is fornication he causes her to become an adulterer. Let me take another approach: If I was married to a lady and I just divorced her becuase I became tired of her or for any other reason she becomes an adulter, because I divorced her. This passage is not saying everyone who divorces for the right reasons becomes an adulterer. It's giving an example of how you could be made an adulterer.

and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery

Now, if my friend Bob marries my ex wife he and she is an adulterer.
And I too am an adulterer.

All it is saying is that the only possible reason for divorce should be if adultery was committed.

The reason why you will not commit adultery is because your husband has. He may remarry if he repents, if he has a change of mind and spirit and turns away from his sin. You may remarry freely, because you have not committed adultery.

Do you understand?

 

[pixie]

Broken homes

:rose: :rose: Dear Siddaganit: My marriage fell apart by adultery too. Both him and the woman that he met, left their spouses for each other. That was eight years ago and I am still just "seperated" from him. I know that this is wrong and that I should divorce him, but I haven't come up with the money to divorce.

I don't think it is wrong to divorce your husband Sidddaganit. Jesus does tells us that we are free from the bondage of unfaithful, adulterous unions with our spouses.

Don't worry about your marital status right now. Concentrate on healing your wounded self, so that you can get on with life. I know how terrible, the pain of a spouse leaving for another woman can be. It seems to rip "family", to pieces.

I'll pray for you tonight and I understand just what to pray for. God bless and I hope the pain and confusion abates. Try and keep up your prayers and give God a simple smile each day, no matter how down you are.

God bless you..... Pixie

 

[Sidddaganit]

Teraside:

Thanks, and yes, I understand. I just want to do what is right by God and my marriage. I am glad you simplified (gave examples) it, because I have heard and have been told different analysis regarding divorce. This puts things in proper perspective.

 

[Sidddaganit]

Pixie: Thank you for the inspiration.