AndrewSpeights
Member
- Joined
- Mar 21, 2015
- Messages
- 8
It all started when I was younger listening to rap music. It's always been my favorite genre. Lecrae's music played a part in leading up to my salvation In 2011. However I was married (going to court in May for divorce) Shes the mother of my child who turns 4 Monday. We should have never tied the knot our relationship was bad off from the start. I spent 9 months with the possibility that the baby was a past friend of mine an not mine. Turns out he was mine so I forgave her before he was even born and I was gonna start our family with her.
It was really her grandmother that made me want to marry her she was the one who witnessed to me the night I found Christ. Anyways so we became married and I was working offshore when she cheated on me once more. So me being me I thought it was maybe because I was gone all the time so I came home at first we were just gonna split. I mended it for a while and we moved to Baton Rouge so I could come home everyday.
Well that's when I started to write rap music about anything under the sun I've went through and to everyone's surprise including my own I guess you can say I was decent. I always wanted to create music like lecrae but after everything I have already been through at the time. I could only express the things I had gone through. Which upset her in a way because I was putting in more time with music than I was with anything. She claims to beleive in Jesus which I hope she does I pray even now but what really was bad is before i knew about her cheating. I was a fresh Christian and I was on fire I was trying to express with her how much love he has and what not and she would always try to change the subject or even at times call me a Christian freak (looking back maybe I did put out there to much but y'all know how it is when you first accept Christ). It was frustrating because the people I worked with were either atheist or Muslim. Had zero people to tell the good news to that would care to know.An i didn't really know enough to witness to them or anyone else were it would work. I wasn't the only one In there life who's tried I guess.
I'll never forget this one time I was reading my bible and my crew leader came in and told me to put that useless human written book down and get ready to work. So you see all I had was a bible and my heart for Christ. That's more than enough to make it but at the time for it was a very tough task. So anyways by the time we moved to baton rogue I stopped reading my bible I started listening to more worldly rap. An I was now rapping myself. Well a couple months go by me and the ex aren't communicating were fighting because I was literally addicted to writing and recording music. It was because I felt like I wanted to be heard in some way. I was still praying every now and again but it was starting to get more about me and rap and less about repentance and what not.
Well eventually I had a few mixtapes together and I was making some pretty good side money. An I got a call from another local rapper who had better equipment and what not he wanted me to be in his label I guess you can say. To cut that storu short I was introduced to crystal meth and became a frequent weekend user then it was 4 days sometimes a whole week abusing this evil drug. The drugs only made me even better at rapping and I started getting calls from a few local clubs to perform and what not. So music was actually pulling in more money than my job which I was fired from for a failed drug test.
Then things get worst by this Time I'm hot headed and feeling you know "dope". Then I start watching these illuminati videos and hearing about how rappers sold there souls for fame etc. So now I got these thoughts in my head of ima find out how they did this and ima do it to. I could literally hear a voice inside my head like telling me that all I would have to do is keep my mind focused on that and eventually satan will appear and strike some type of deal with me (crazy I know don't do drugs) I was acting on this a lot started putting comments in my songs and even asking different labels if they knew the way.
Anyways I catch my wife talking to the same guy I thought was gonna be my boy's father. So I'm bad off u know I'm loosing my mind were fighting everyday. I ended up sending my son to my mothers house it was getting bad. Then as soon as the lease of my apartment ran out they told us we had to move due to noise and excessive cops being called. By this time I had a mini wake up call it was like God forced his way out at that split second I'm like you know what we're moving back and I'm gonna try to get my life back together. Well she decides she's gonna live at her mothers while I'm getting better. I agree at the time I thought you know it's better this way we've been fighting were both gonna get our life's right because she was doing a little bit of drugs to. So at first it was good we were talking on the phone a lot and I was making her sweet little songs ya know.
Well after like 2 weeks I stop hearing from her she wasn't calling nothing. Now I'm thinking something's wrong you know I'm stressing out so I go over there. An that same guys trucks there so now I'm angry I'm causing a scene she's yelling go home I'm calling the police this and that. I'm chasing the guy around the yard. Well anyways Cops come I go to jail an when I get out. She tells me she's pregnant that she's 3 months pregnant an he's not mine.
So after that I couldn't deal with it I end up meeting the girl I'm with now at my brothers wedding. She was a Christian an I seen something in her I haven't seen in a while. At that moment I'm hooked I tell my wife that I want a divorce this and that and she refuses. To make this long long story less long.. I end up moving in with my now fiancee And we've been together ever since Jan of last year.
Note that in this time I'm still not well im making music still but no longer on heavy drugs just weed. 7 months go by and we're talking she's witnessing hard to me I'm starting to erase those demons more and more everyday by December I'm completely clean but I was still making music even tho I'm conversating with God again. An I can sense he's wanting me to drop music well it wasn't untill 3 days ago when my fiancées aunt/mother figure dies that it hits me. That music has consumed my life so I vowed to god I wouldn't write another lyric unless it was influenced by Jesus himself. An I've become born again. Getting the divorce in May I've erased every song that I had around of me. I don't listen to music anymore either an I have a decent job. An I get to have my son every two weeks. The best part is I'll soon be married to a wonderful Christian woman. Thanks if you took the time to read this please keep me and my family in yalls prayers.
It was really her grandmother that made me want to marry her she was the one who witnessed to me the night I found Christ. Anyways so we became married and I was working offshore when she cheated on me once more. So me being me I thought it was maybe because I was gone all the time so I came home at first we were just gonna split. I mended it for a while and we moved to Baton Rouge so I could come home everyday.
Well that's when I started to write rap music about anything under the sun I've went through and to everyone's surprise including my own I guess you can say I was decent. I always wanted to create music like lecrae but after everything I have already been through at the time. I could only express the things I had gone through. Which upset her in a way because I was putting in more time with music than I was with anything. She claims to beleive in Jesus which I hope she does I pray even now but what really was bad is before i knew about her cheating. I was a fresh Christian and I was on fire I was trying to express with her how much love he has and what not and she would always try to change the subject or even at times call me a Christian freak (looking back maybe I did put out there to much but y'all know how it is when you first accept Christ). It was frustrating because the people I worked with were either atheist or Muslim. Had zero people to tell the good news to that would care to know.An i didn't really know enough to witness to them or anyone else were it would work. I wasn't the only one In there life who's tried I guess.
I'll never forget this one time I was reading my bible and my crew leader came in and told me to put that useless human written book down and get ready to work. So you see all I had was a bible and my heart for Christ. That's more than enough to make it but at the time for it was a very tough task. So anyways by the time we moved to baton rogue I stopped reading my bible I started listening to more worldly rap. An I was now rapping myself. Well a couple months go by me and the ex aren't communicating were fighting because I was literally addicted to writing and recording music. It was because I felt like I wanted to be heard in some way. I was still praying every now and again but it was starting to get more about me and rap and less about repentance and what not.
Well eventually I had a few mixtapes together and I was making some pretty good side money. An I got a call from another local rapper who had better equipment and what not he wanted me to be in his label I guess you can say. To cut that storu short I was introduced to crystal meth and became a frequent weekend user then it was 4 days sometimes a whole week abusing this evil drug. The drugs only made me even better at rapping and I started getting calls from a few local clubs to perform and what not. So music was actually pulling in more money than my job which I was fired from for a failed drug test.
Then things get worst by this Time I'm hot headed and feeling you know "dope". Then I start watching these illuminati videos and hearing about how rappers sold there souls for fame etc. So now I got these thoughts in my head of ima find out how they did this and ima do it to. I could literally hear a voice inside my head like telling me that all I would have to do is keep my mind focused on that and eventually satan will appear and strike some type of deal with me (crazy I know don't do drugs) I was acting on this a lot started putting comments in my songs and even asking different labels if they knew the way.
Anyways I catch my wife talking to the same guy I thought was gonna be my boy's father. So I'm bad off u know I'm loosing my mind were fighting everyday. I ended up sending my son to my mothers house it was getting bad. Then as soon as the lease of my apartment ran out they told us we had to move due to noise and excessive cops being called. By this time I had a mini wake up call it was like God forced his way out at that split second I'm like you know what we're moving back and I'm gonna try to get my life back together. Well she decides she's gonna live at her mothers while I'm getting better. I agree at the time I thought you know it's better this way we've been fighting were both gonna get our life's right because she was doing a little bit of drugs to. So at first it was good we were talking on the phone a lot and I was making her sweet little songs ya know.
Well after like 2 weeks I stop hearing from her she wasn't calling nothing. Now I'm thinking something's wrong you know I'm stressing out so I go over there. An that same guys trucks there so now I'm angry I'm causing a scene she's yelling go home I'm calling the police this and that. I'm chasing the guy around the yard. Well anyways Cops come I go to jail an when I get out. She tells me she's pregnant that she's 3 months pregnant an he's not mine.
So after that I couldn't deal with it I end up meeting the girl I'm with now at my brothers wedding. She was a Christian an I seen something in her I haven't seen in a while. At that moment I'm hooked I tell my wife that I want a divorce this and that and she refuses. To make this long long story less long.. I end up moving in with my now fiancee And we've been together ever since Jan of last year.
Note that in this time I'm still not well im making music still but no longer on heavy drugs just weed. 7 months go by and we're talking she's witnessing hard to me I'm starting to erase those demons more and more everyday by December I'm completely clean but I was still making music even tho I'm conversating with God again. An I can sense he's wanting me to drop music well it wasn't untill 3 days ago when my fiancées aunt/mother figure dies that it hits me. That music has consumed my life so I vowed to god I wouldn't write another lyric unless it was influenced by Jesus himself. An I've become born again. Getting the divorce in May I've erased every song that I had around of me. I don't listen to music anymore either an I have a decent job. An I get to have my son every two weeks. The best part is I'll soon be married to a wonderful Christian woman. Thanks if you took the time to read this please keep me and my family in yalls prayers.
