mere5
Member
- Joined
- Aug 8, 2014
- Messages
- 47
I grew up in a broken home since I was 2. My mom remarried twice & my Dad remarried the same woman twice. Both houses were always full of drama and fighting. I met Jesus at 8 years old and started going to church with my cousin in middle school. I met my first boyfriend in 10th grade and was in a very controlling relationship and stopped going to church. Half way through my senior year I ditched him and went on a dating frenzy. I have always been the center of male attention so I used it to my advantage sexually and financially. I liked them taking me shopping and going to fancy dinners. After I was done with them I changed my phone number and moved on to the next one. I met my husband, Adam, in the middle of all this and we started dating. We moved in together after a few months and got engaged. 3 weeks before the wedding I called it off and moved out leaving him absolutely devastated and heartbroken. I started dating my ex from high school & got pregnant. He was an absolute monster. He wanted me to abort the baby. I went to my mom for advice and she told me to abort the baby too. I could not do it and decided to keep him. I went in for an ultrasound at 29weeks and he had no heartbeat and was gone. They induced labor the next night which was my birthday (what an awful way to spend your birthday by the way). It was the worst 17 hours of labor knowing I was not going to hear my son cry when he was born. I named him Camdyn, held him in my arms and cried hysterically. I felt so alone and abandoned by God. Months passed and I fell into an awful depression. I wanted to fill the void of losing Camdyn so I got back together with my ex and got pregnant again knowing I did not want to be with him I just wanted the baby. I left him when I was 4 months pregnant and decided to raise the baby alone. One day I was crying and I looked in the mirror at my puffy eyes and realized all this time I thought God had left me but it was me that left Him!!! He had been there where I left Him all along waiting for me with open arms. I decided that day to find comfort from the GREAT COMFORTER & put my trust in Him from then on. A few months later I reunited with Adam and gave birth to Cadyn. Adam wanted to be Cadyn's Dad and loved him as soon as he watched his little eyes come into the world. We married 5 months later and have been married for almost 9 years now. He is an amazing, Godly husband and father to our 3 children. All the years I tried filling the void with earthly men when my soul mate was Jesus and had been there all along waiting for me to come back to Him. When I did that He gave me my earth soul mate and family I had always longed for.
