hey my name is Bryan, im 15 years old and im trying to know god and jesus and apply them to my life. 
Before jesus came into my life it was a total wreck for pretty much my whole life. I event attended ccd thats like a school to teach kids about god and jesus pretty much or atleast from i remember. Well i never had much faith in him but i some how did but really small and i didnt really think about him much.
I never did to much wrong from being a normal kid besides the fact that all i did was really suffer for my dad. I guess i had emotional abuse not from him abusing me but his illiness. He is an epilptic and has suizures. I remember them starting when i was like 7 years old. The first few he had my mom was there to help me. But the majority of the time he would have them when my mom wasnt there and at work. I had to be there with him when nobody else was there no adults just me and my sister who is 4 years younger and couldnt do anything.
I would go through my life basicly upset all the time and i really lost of what little faith or understanding i had of god at the time when i prayed to him which i normally never did being little. i asked him to help my dad when i was in like 2nd grade. It only got worse and worse and i was upset with him because all i saw was my dad getting worse and he would have them more often. By 4th grade hit i was frantic at home with my dad just watchin him every day like a hawk so if anything happend i could be there. I was small and the only thing that id really cry was my dad thats all is what really seemed to happen and i never cry about much anyways.
well by the time middle school came he had them but the suizures died down for a bit but he would be overdosed from docters to make sure the meds would work how horrible is that? somtimes he would throw up somtimes he would act like he just took a lot of morphine... but he had brain surgery so if i ever made him mad things would go bad.
So i being 12 at the time not a good age to make my dad angry got him angry.
going to 6th grade i moved to my new neighbor hood i didnt have much friend and had a bad attitude from where i used to live because that attitude was the norm there. So when 7th grade rolled around i got a few friends and i didnt have many friends since i was always upset or down. We all played computer video games and well i started to gain alot of weight.... after awhile of knowing one of my friends was like the leader of the group pretty much. He was mean and he started fights with kids all the time he is really negative... but ya.
8th grade rolled around i was excited because maybe things would change. They sure did alright. I was 3 days into school and one night everything changed for me. Not for the better but for worse andi still know what really happend to me but it was somthing spiritual and im not sure to consider it a blessing or somthing demonic to this day.
I woke up in the middle of the night i didnt know why i woke up in an instant. not even tired its odd to explain it but it gets more odd. So sombody calls my name not bryan but with a Mr. and my last name it. I dont remember what the person was saying besides saying my name so i cant say much. But he said things with a really low malish voice it sounded really...scary. and it sounded like it was getting to buisness.
after done talking to me i was lifted up out of my bed and i could feel somthing leaving my body . it was scary for me but at the time it happend so fast i couldnt really think but it was like 10 seconds. well it felt like it should of stayed in my body but what ever was being pulled out of me when it left my head i was dead i couldnt think but it tried a few times to stay in my head and i could hear my thoughts when it stayed. there was multiple thoughts at once like whats going on sombody help me,...am i dieing? whats going on!?...
After awhile there was like a feeling you get just before you wake up like you know your alive and all but your not fully woken up yet like your mind isnt totally up yet. when i felt that i woke up immeditatly. i was tucked in my bed...even tho before i was hovering in the air. I was thinking to my self what the heck just happend. Well i started to hear this really really weird noise it sounded like a space ship and it was freaking loud. It viberated through my whole body.
I got out of my bed and was walking in my hallway. My head felt really numb on either my left or right side i cant really remember but im guessing my left. i felt like i was going to die and it wasnt a good feeling at the time i was really afraid. i ran to my parents room and i woke them up saying im going to die im going to die dont leave me!!! i really felt like i was going to die.
I looked into everything from sleep paralysis to just a dream. And beleive me folks it wasnt sleep paralysis or a dream it was the real thing. What ever happend to me that one night was somthing supernatural and spiritual. I wouldnt say it was good or bad since i dont know the orgins.
from that day inside i felt hollow and nothingness void. No emotions at all. No hate no joy no nothing. I felt like nothing. I felt like a zombie. But that would change.
Id go through my 8th grade being really tired and scared but at the same time joyed be at school away from my bedroom and my house. Every night i wanted to sleep in my room i would well...be afraid i felt somthing bad there. I went through my whole 8th grade afraid of my house and esspecially my bedroom. If fear was an emotion thats all i felt. Me and my friends started getting into a fued into summer. But luckily i made a friend over the internet.
My friend it was well odd that i met him over a video game that i played like all the time... he lives in the same state as i do and a few countys away if i wanted to meet him. I told him all the **** i went through with the ghost occurences. Summer was ok i would just fall asleep somtimes i would just close my eyes to fall asleep and other times i would well watch tv to fall asleep really bad.
But 9th grade rolled in there was my friend i know that ive been friends since 7th grade. there was a girl that liked him and wanted to meet him at the mall it didnt seem harmful for me or him to get him hooked up i mean hey we were good friends with a few fights here and there.
well they got hooked up like a month later he told everyone hes not a virgin anymore... and pretty soon he became to focused on his "girl friend" then with the friend hes been with for 3 years over a video game and school. pretty soon our friendship became really bad and we got into fights and stuff. im not his friend no more.
on the spirtual note at being in 9th grade things got really bad and i went on A and E forums for paranormal state its a show dedicated for helping victims with ghosts and stuff. AT that point i was so depressed and always sad. the only happy thing was i atleast found emotions again. I was so sad...the only thing i could do was listen to music and metal. I got into metal, i still am in metal but i watch for the lyrics if they are satanic or anything i dont like that very much. I got into all kinds of metal as long as it felt good to me id listen to it. I listend from sabbat to metallica to megadeth from all these metal bands. its the only thing that kept me sane but made me wanna beat my friend up. I mean he deserved it he backstabbed me for a girl he lusted for and threw our friendship out the window you know.
well i had two really odd dreams. the first one was when i was in this huge shower place all alone it was a bit odd but yea lol. I felt what i think was love at the time and i felt alot of warmth there was no talking but i was like "its god its god its god!!" it felt really good and i loved look back at it and see how caring god is.
the other dream was a vision...i get alot of future visions of my life that are exact and i dont really know why lol. But i was in a chatroom and there was this women talking about jesus and how she prayed and how he came to her.
Well soon enough i was going into a chatroom that was about a video game. At this point i was really...down really sad and things got only worse. but the people in the chatroom where really nice so i thought hey why cant i just hang inside here.
I got to know the people and they were pretty nice and didnt fight or anything. Well i started to tell them about my ghost problem and how i was so down alot. one of the people there one day talked about jesus and how he came into her life and stuff. this was like 1 in the morning and being on a couch and feeling lots of bad spiritual activity in my house. I started to be able to sense the evil of it and i dont want anybody to go through what i had to go through. But anyways she gave me a few quotes of the bible and she told me to read them. I did and i started to feel loved and protected it was awsome.
she gave me the idea on going into an internet bible so i did. I started to read psalms and other parts of the bible like mark and luke.
I was so concentrated on reading the bible i started to hear people praying and then somthing so cool happend i came across the words "praise the lord" and i heard thousands of either children or people saying "praaaaaaise the lord!!" so loudly. I litterly jumped. Its the first time i heard angels. it was very awsome...
soon i started reading the bible and asked jesus and god to help me with my life. days were depressing still but i atleast found the truth about god. somtimes i lost faith shame on me.... but i knew he was real and all. He came back everytime and then theres satan and i know he came and tempted me many times...sometimes i gave in i couldnt resist but now i know how bad the flesh is and all.
somtimes i keep failing and sin other times i conquer it with gods help.
and leading up to this moment im a work in progress with god. what seemed like yestorday i was home all alone talking to god for a few hours...tho he didnt say anything i knew he was listening intently with his love. now i can go to sleep at night and find myself praying to god and talking to him.
the unexpectible happend yesterday and it amazes me. last night it was pretty quiet night and well i started to hear people singing...it was really low at first but i could concentrate on it. It was angels singing many were singing i was amazed. they became very loud and i liked it. I have found out that they are always there.
God, jesus and the angels are close to you always close you even at times you if your going through the worst time of your life and have no faith they are always there for you
peace
p.s. can u guys add testimony to my topic title i put it on tag by accident Lol thanks
Before jesus came into my life it was a total wreck for pretty much my whole life. I event attended ccd thats like a school to teach kids about god and jesus pretty much or atleast from i remember. Well i never had much faith in him but i some how did but really small and i didnt really think about him much.
I never did to much wrong from being a normal kid besides the fact that all i did was really suffer for my dad. I guess i had emotional abuse not from him abusing me but his illiness. He is an epilptic and has suizures. I remember them starting when i was like 7 years old. The first few he had my mom was there to help me. But the majority of the time he would have them when my mom wasnt there and at work. I had to be there with him when nobody else was there no adults just me and my sister who is 4 years younger and couldnt do anything.
I would go through my life basicly upset all the time and i really lost of what little faith or understanding i had of god at the time when i prayed to him which i normally never did being little. i asked him to help my dad when i was in like 2nd grade. It only got worse and worse and i was upset with him because all i saw was my dad getting worse and he would have them more often. By 4th grade hit i was frantic at home with my dad just watchin him every day like a hawk so if anything happend i could be there. I was small and the only thing that id really cry was my dad thats all is what really seemed to happen and i never cry about much anyways.
well by the time middle school came he had them but the suizures died down for a bit but he would be overdosed from docters to make sure the meds would work how horrible is that? somtimes he would throw up somtimes he would act like he just took a lot of morphine... but he had brain surgery so if i ever made him mad things would go bad.
So i being 12 at the time not a good age to make my dad angry got him angry.
going to 6th grade i moved to my new neighbor hood i didnt have much friend and had a bad attitude from where i used to live because that attitude was the norm there. So when 7th grade rolled around i got a few friends and i didnt have many friends since i was always upset or down. We all played computer video games and well i started to gain alot of weight.... after awhile of knowing one of my friends was like the leader of the group pretty much. He was mean and he started fights with kids all the time he is really negative... but ya.
8th grade rolled around i was excited because maybe things would change. They sure did alright. I was 3 days into school and one night everything changed for me. Not for the better but for worse andi still know what really happend to me but it was somthing spiritual and im not sure to consider it a blessing or somthing demonic to this day.
I woke up in the middle of the night i didnt know why i woke up in an instant. not even tired its odd to explain it but it gets more odd. So sombody calls my name not bryan but with a Mr. and my last name it. I dont remember what the person was saying besides saying my name so i cant say much. But he said things with a really low malish voice it sounded really...scary. and it sounded like it was getting to buisness.
after done talking to me i was lifted up out of my bed and i could feel somthing leaving my body . it was scary for me but at the time it happend so fast i couldnt really think but it was like 10 seconds. well it felt like it should of stayed in my body but what ever was being pulled out of me when it left my head i was dead i couldnt think but it tried a few times to stay in my head and i could hear my thoughts when it stayed. there was multiple thoughts at once like whats going on sombody help me,...am i dieing? whats going on!?...
After awhile there was like a feeling you get just before you wake up like you know your alive and all but your not fully woken up yet like your mind isnt totally up yet. when i felt that i woke up immeditatly. i was tucked in my bed...even tho before i was hovering in the air. I was thinking to my self what the heck just happend. Well i started to hear this really really weird noise it sounded like a space ship and it was freaking loud. It viberated through my whole body.
I got out of my bed and was walking in my hallway. My head felt really numb on either my left or right side i cant really remember but im guessing my left. i felt like i was going to die and it wasnt a good feeling at the time i was really afraid. i ran to my parents room and i woke them up saying im going to die im going to die dont leave me!!! i really felt like i was going to die.
I looked into everything from sleep paralysis to just a dream. And beleive me folks it wasnt sleep paralysis or a dream it was the real thing. What ever happend to me that one night was somthing supernatural and spiritual. I wouldnt say it was good or bad since i dont know the orgins.
from that day inside i felt hollow and nothingness void. No emotions at all. No hate no joy no nothing. I felt like nothing. I felt like a zombie. But that would change.
Id go through my 8th grade being really tired and scared but at the same time joyed be at school away from my bedroom and my house. Every night i wanted to sleep in my room i would well...be afraid i felt somthing bad there. I went through my whole 8th grade afraid of my house and esspecially my bedroom. If fear was an emotion thats all i felt. Me and my friends started getting into a fued into summer. But luckily i made a friend over the internet.
My friend it was well odd that i met him over a video game that i played like all the time... he lives in the same state as i do and a few countys away if i wanted to meet him. I told him all the **** i went through with the ghost occurences. Summer was ok i would just fall asleep somtimes i would just close my eyes to fall asleep and other times i would well watch tv to fall asleep really bad.
But 9th grade rolled in there was my friend i know that ive been friends since 7th grade. there was a girl that liked him and wanted to meet him at the mall it didnt seem harmful for me or him to get him hooked up i mean hey we were good friends with a few fights here and there.
well they got hooked up like a month later he told everyone hes not a virgin anymore... and pretty soon he became to focused on his "girl friend" then with the friend hes been with for 3 years over a video game and school. pretty soon our friendship became really bad and we got into fights and stuff. im not his friend no more.
on the spirtual note at being in 9th grade things got really bad and i went on A and E forums for paranormal state its a show dedicated for helping victims with ghosts and stuff. AT that point i was so depressed and always sad. the only happy thing was i atleast found emotions again. I was so sad...the only thing i could do was listen to music and metal. I got into metal, i still am in metal but i watch for the lyrics if they are satanic or anything i dont like that very much. I got into all kinds of metal as long as it felt good to me id listen to it. I listend from sabbat to metallica to megadeth from all these metal bands. its the only thing that kept me sane but made me wanna beat my friend up. I mean he deserved it he backstabbed me for a girl he lusted for and threw our friendship out the window you know
.well i had two really odd dreams. the first one was when i was in this huge shower place all alone it was a bit odd but yea lol. I felt what i think was love at the time and i felt alot of warmth there was no talking but i was like "its god its god its god!!" it felt really good and i loved look back at it and see how caring god is.
the other dream was a vision...i get alot of future visions of my life that are exact and i dont really know why lol. But i was in a chatroom and there was this women talking about jesus and how she prayed and how he came to her.
Well soon enough i was going into a chatroom that was about a video game. At this point i was really...down really sad and things got only worse. but the people in the chatroom where really nice so i thought hey why cant i just hang inside here.
I got to know the people and they were pretty nice and didnt fight or anything. Well i started to tell them about my ghost problem and how i was so down alot. one of the people there one day talked about jesus and how he came into her life and stuff. this was like 1 in the morning and being on a couch and feeling lots of bad spiritual activity in my house. I started to be able to sense the evil of it and i dont want anybody to go through what i had to go through. But anyways she gave me a few quotes of the bible and she told me to read them. I did and i started to feel loved and protected it was awsome.
she gave me the idea on going into an internet bible so i did. I started to read psalms and other parts of the bible like mark and luke.
I was so concentrated on reading the bible i started to hear people praying and then somthing so cool happend i came across the words "praise the lord" and i heard thousands of either children or people saying "praaaaaaise the lord!!" so loudly. I litterly jumped. Its the first time i heard angels. it was very awsome...
soon i started reading the bible and asked jesus and god to help me with my life. days were depressing still but i atleast found the truth about god. somtimes i lost faith shame on me.... but i knew he was real and all. He came back everytime and then theres satan and i know he came and tempted me many times...sometimes i gave in i couldnt resist but now i know how bad the flesh is and all.
somtimes i keep failing and sin other times i conquer it with gods help.
and leading up to this moment im a work in progress with god. what seemed like yestorday i was home all alone talking to god for a few hours...tho he didnt say anything i knew he was listening intently with his love. now i can go to sleep at night and find myself praying to god and talking to him.
the unexpectible happend yesterday and it amazes me. last night it was pretty quiet night and well i started to hear people singing...it was really low at first but i could concentrate on it. It was angels singing many were singing i was amazed. they became very loud and i liked it. I have found out that they are always there.
God, jesus and the angels are close to you always close you even at times you if your going through the worst time of your life and have no faith they are always there for you
peace
p.s. can u guys add testimony to my topic title i put it on tag by accident Lol thanks
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