My wife is leaving me....

[Mike A]

Today my wife called my work and a waitress called me Mikey. My wife flipped and accused me of having a relationship with this waitress. Now before I gave my life to Christ Jesus and was born again, which was five years ago I did have an affair and because of this affair I now have a five year old daughter. There is much more to my past then this, like when I use to get drunk I would physically abuse my wife. We have been married for seven now. The first year and a half of our marriage I used drugs, we were homeless for 6 months living under a bridge, went to jail five times, went to rehab once for 3 months, sold drugs and robed drunks for money.
My wife said she is tired of this. I have gone to jail in these past five years that I have came to Christ in faith. I back slide and went back to all those things I mentioned in the above sentences.
My wife accuses me of wanting to leave her and that I am cheating on her every time there is a problem.
Every time i get angry she gets scared and says she don't want to be with an abusive husband.
I feel like "I have burned the bridges" I know there's hope and through Jesus everything can get better but I also know that if she doesn't want it no more then the lord can not fix it. If her hart has became hard towards this marriage I don't think Jesus can help.


Some one help me!!

 

[Veracity]

It is going to be a hard road for a while, grab hold of Jesus and hang on. If you are not in a church, find a spirit filled church that puts Christ first. Read your bible every day, like your life depends on it, because it does. When the enemy comes to woo you back, and he will, rebuke him in Jesus name. If you have truly repented of your sins and are putting God first in everything you do, trust Him to lead you into all truth. Never settle for the idea that you have learned enough about the LORD.

I know what it feels like to be on the other side of this, and the pain is not something that goes away, especially when it has been scar after scar after scar reopened. Only the Lord could heal those wounds.

Work on you. Change starts with you. She may have gotten to where she has given up on you. You may have reached the point where you want to give up on you, but if you are genuine in your desire to live for the Lord in His truth, He will not give up on you.

I will pray for you.

 

[Diamondlight]

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[Diamondlight]

I feel like "I have burned the bridges" I know there's hope and through Jesus everything can get better but I also know that if she doesn't want it no more then the lord can not fix it. If her hart has became hard towards this marriage I don't think Jesus can help.

I agree with Veracity and would add, that you cannot be too concerned about doing this for your wife, this has to be about you and God because if you try and stabalise your life for any other reason, then if that reason collapses, so will your efforts and success. Whereas, God never fails.

If there is hope, she will see it. Allow God to sort her out, heal her and deal with her throught his word, you just deal with you.

If you are used to having a chaotic life, one of the hardest things is to become stable. I would suggest looking for constructive projects you can express that part of yourself in because being a certain way becomes familiar to us and we need an outlet. A bit like a friend of mine who is an 'adrenaline junkie' but was involved in quite a destructive lifestyle. When they encountered God they became involved with the street pastors team that often come across unpredictable occurances and a variety of challenges whilst out on a late evening-early morning patrol of the streets. It 'scratches his itch', so-to-speak.

Don't lose heart; keep focused on moving forward in a positive way and you will get there, small step by small step.

 

[sunshineaaks]

Today my wife called my work and a waitress called me Mikey. My wife flipped and accused me of having a relationship with this waitress. Now before I gave my life to Christ Jesus and was born again, which was five years ago I did have an affair and because of this affair I now have a five year old daughter. There is much more to my past then this, like when I use to get drunk I would physically abuse my wife. We have been married for seven now. The first year and a half of our marriage I used drugs, we were homeless for 6 months living under a bridge, went to jail five times, went to rehab once for 3 months, sold drugs and robed drunks for money.
My wife said she is tired of this. I have gone to jail in these past five years that I have came to Christ in faith. I back slide and went back to all those things I mentioned in the above sentences.
My wife accuses me of wanting to leave her and that I am cheating on her every time there is a problem.
Every time i get angry she gets scared and says she don't want to be with an abusive husband.
I feel like "I have burned the bridges" I know there's hope and through Jesus everything can get better but I also know that if she doesn't want it no more then the lord can not fix it. If her hart has became hard towards this marriage I don't think Jesus can help.


Some one help me!!

Once you have taken her trust away, it is a hard road back. You took your wife's trust away with the affair, drugs, the abuse and it is up to you to rebuild it no matter how long that takes.

There is hope through Christ and things can and do get better which will take alot of hard work on your part and she, more than likely as well, once there is great strides on your part, and she will draw nearer to you as you BOTH draw nearer to God.

Only God can soften a hardened heart and open her eyes to your changes in Him. With very little change on your part or going back to what you once were, there would be no reason for her to trust, now would there? Once you prove trustworthy, her trust in you will return, but that will take some time to rebuild what you destroyed.

 

[sharen]

Sometimes women chose to bail because they feel like they're at the end of their rope. Staying would result in a breakdown or illness or even possibly suicide. I don't know about men, but women can just get tired of all the instability and lies, etc and just leave.

It's self-preservation. A man is wired to be more straightforward or action orientated so to speak. He's the bread winner, the one who tends to be more project orientated and logical with information. Women are the nurturers, the heart of the family - the supporters ect. And because of that they can have a lot of emotional baggage they collect along the way. They may look exactly the same on the outside, but on the inside they can be on the verge of imploding.

A woman shouldn't have to put up with betrayal and abuse just because she's the supporter or follower in the relationship. If you arn't leading her to good places and it's placing constant stress on her then don't be surprised when she finally bails.

You can love someone and still destroy them.

Forgiveness is really important in these kinds of issues and specially forgiving yourself. If you can't do that then you can go under too. That won't make up for anything.

All the best with it.

 

[happyharold4]

Mike---All THINGS ARE POSSIBLE WITH GOD!

Happy

 

[gospelpreacher]

Today my wife called my work and a waitress called me Mikey. My wife flipped and accused me of having a relationship with this waitress. Now before I gave my life to Christ Jesus and was born again, which was five years ago I did have an affair and because of this affair I now have a five year old daughter. There is much more to my past then this, like when I use to get drunk I would physically abuse my wife. We have been married for seven now. The first year and a half of our marriage I used drugs, we were homeless for 6 months living under a bridge, went to jail five times, went to rehab once for 3 months, sold drugs and robed drunks for money.
My wife said she is tired of this. I have gone to jail in these past five years that I have came to Christ in faith. I back slide and went back to all those things I mentioned in the above sentences.
My wife accuses me of wanting to leave her and that I am cheating on her every time there is a problem.
Every time i get angry she gets scared and says she don't want to be with an abusive husband.
I feel like "I have burned the bridges" I know there's hope and through Jesus everything can get better but I also know that if she doesn't want it no more then the lord can not fix it. If her hart has became hard towards this marriage I don't think Jesus can help.


Some one help me!!

It's hard to believe that any woman would stick around with a man like you. You might have to find a very special woman that doesn't mind you going off in the deep end once in a while. Jesus doesn't stop your behavior when you want him to. God planned everything before creation so you are living a life exactly the way he planned it. Just relax and enjoy the rest of your short life because we're going to get new imimortal bodies in paradise. You'll never have to worry about your flesh resisting God again.

You're a very selfish man like every other sinner is and not only do you want your wife to stick with you after all your abuse, you want Jesus to fix everything your way. God may have planned that you die in the streets begging for money for alcohol. So take what you get each day and be thankful that he created you and will give you a whole new life in paradise.