I have two kids with my ex boyfriend. I know i screwed up and shouldnt have had sex with him, but my kids are the greatest blessing. We just broke up and im honestly scared about how things are gonna work out as far as co parenting. Im nervous because he has never kept either kid for longer than an hour by himself let alone both of them. And before when i was working he never wanted to keep our son so my family watched him. I just dont know what to do. He wants 50/50 custody. I wouldn't care about that if he had actually helped me out with them but since he dont, im not sure how it will be.
Need help
- Thread starter Jessca95
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Ivar
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Age of the kids?
Fathers are very important to raising of kids.
It should be a blessing that at least he wants to be in the kids lives and be an active father.
Also they are equally of his "if not more".
Look into working out parental strategies.
Would be great if you had a positive relationship with his parents or family as well
Fathers are very important to raising of kids.
It should be a blessing that at least he wants to be in the kids lives and be an active father.
Also they are equally of his "if not more".
Look into working out parental strategies.
Would be great if you had a positive relationship with his parents or family as well
They are 2 and a couple months old. His mom has never liked me from the start of when we got together. I know they are his too and im glad he says he wants to be around them. The problem i have with it is that when i was working part time while i had my son he wouldnt keep our son for a couple hours so my mom has had to do it. And then theres also been times he will do his own thing for several days before he will spend time with either kids. I feel like ive basically been a single parent for a while and im there all the time whereas he is only around when he wants to be.
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@Jessca95
Sad, and will pray for your circumstances. Your concerns are not without merit. If he has shown little love for them in the past, unless he goes through some change in the future (Comes to Christ Jesus), he will show little desire to be with them now or in the future. I have a feeling just from the initial post, that the reason he would want the 50/50 custody either has to do with his family (which you don't mention) or child support payments.
You should seek legal advise. Not being married (implied), probably limits the rights he has, but that is something you need to check on. As you acknowledge, the children are you priority. They should have a knowledge of the father, and contact as long as their safety is not an issue that concerns you should they spend time half the time with this ex-boy friend.
First start praying and asking God for forgiveness & guidance in what you should do. Without Jesus in your life, and Him being a priority, all else will have a different outcome. Yes your children are a blessing, a treasure to hold on to, but if they're going to benefit from what they have had no control over, it will come from your own relationship with Christ and the example you now set forward for them to follow. For it appears they will not be receiving it from their earthly father.
Praying that it works out for you.
With the Love of Christ Jesus.
Nick
<><
Sad, and will pray for your circumstances. Your concerns are not without merit. If he has shown little love for them in the past, unless he goes through some change in the future (Comes to Christ Jesus), he will show little desire to be with them now or in the future. I have a feeling just from the initial post, that the reason he would want the 50/50 custody either has to do with his family (which you don't mention) or child support payments.
You should seek legal advise. Not being married (implied), probably limits the rights he has, but that is something you need to check on. As you acknowledge, the children are you priority. They should have a knowledge of the father, and contact as long as their safety is not an issue that concerns you should they spend time half the time with this ex-boy friend.
First start praying and asking God for forgiveness & guidance in what you should do. Without Jesus in your life, and Him being a priority, all else will have a different outcome. Yes your children are a blessing, a treasure to hold on to, but if they're going to benefit from what they have had no control over, it will come from your own relationship with Christ and the example you now set forward for them to follow. For it appears they will not be receiving it from their earthly father.
Praying that it works out for you.
With the Love of Christ Jesus.
Nick
<><
Thank you so much. Im also currently working on my relationship with Jesus so I understand what you are saying.
He didnt ask to take the kids this week at all but he did stay at my moms house with me and them for a night so he could spend time with them. Today we also went to a waterpark to spend time together as a family or where both parents are at least getting along. Im not sure what is going to happen or if this is going to last but im praying for the best.
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Hello Jessca,
At least it's a start for him. For the important part is that some type of positive relationship happening between the children and the father. We can rationalize many reasons for him doing it this way, but it's best to continue in prayer as you are doing, and rest assured that in God's hands His will be done.
Thank-you for the update and will continue to prayer for you and the family.
With the Love of Christ Jesus.
Nick
<><
Thanks
I know y'all probably get tired of me posting updates but right now everything is kind of bad for me. He didnt ask about or see the kids for 4 days and now he is wanting to keep them over night with his mom. I dont want to keep them from him in any way as long as they are safe but im so nervous about it. Especially since he hasnt even asked me about them and the other night he went to his friends house to get weed a few minutes from where we were. He wasnt even going to see them. when i talked to his sister she said at least he is trying. His family likes to defend him on everything. I need prayers on what to do because I actually am a parent to our kids and i want to be there all the time not when it's convenient for me.
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Greetings @Jessca95
It is understandable how difficult this is for you. Your protective mothers heart only wants the best for your little ones.
Perhaps turn your feelings round a little and pray that your partners heart will melt with love the more he sees his children...that he will want to spend more and more valuable family time with them and bonds will grow strong.
Blessings grace and peace
It is understandable how difficult this is for you. Your protective mothers heart only wants the best for your little ones.
Perhaps turn your feelings round a little and pray that your partners heart will melt with love the more he sees his children...that he will want to spend more and more valuable family time with them and bonds will grow strong.
Blessings grace and peace
Ivar
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@Jessca95
I dont want to keep them from him in any way as long as they are safe but im so nervous about it???
Here are questions you could reflect on.
Are they safe with him?
Are there any indications that they would be in danger?
What are things that could be done to increase there safety?
What are things that can be done to make you less nervous?
Overnight doesn't seem bad and it seems like they would be staying inside a home.
MRSEdwards
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Heavenly Father We come together in your Son's name which is Jesus and we ask that the Holy Spirit which is a comforter and an Advocate move in this circumstance we stand on your infallible Word which was first spoken concerning us when you said let there be. So in the Situation we say Let there be Peace in the midst of the storm of this young ladies life and also let your name be known in the children's lives and also the father of the children thank you for calling Jessica into a path of righteousness and opening her eyes because you used 12 disciples to turn the world upside down with the Gospel and why not Jessica Use her for your Glory Show her the gifts and talents you have given through the Power of the Holy Spirit give her a hunger and thirst for your word as her daily bread and also Lord let her know that you will perfect(complete) what concerns her you know every detail of her Life Thank you ABBA Father!
I cant do this. He has had them all day today and is bringing them back tomorrow. I just cant do it. I havent ate all day and ive been an emotional wreck. I couldn't sleep very well last night and im not sleeping tonight. I got to go over there because i had to take our daughter some breast milk. That helped but i just want them with me. He is never around and now he just ups and takes them.
He keeps telling me im a bad mom and saying that im ripping the kids away from a family. I know that its not true considering that he dont see them every day so really they only have me as a parent all the time. He puts all the blame on me and i cant take it. Me and him have other problems but im always with the kids. He says he will fight for 50/50 and wont give up on that so if thats true im going to have to pay for a lawyer and all that.
knarflee
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God will help you! Pour your heart out to Him he's listening. We've endured many afflictions including the death of a daughter but Jesus has never failed us. He won't fail you either if you trust in him with all your heart.
Prayers for you and the children and for their father. We must care for each other and I sympathize with your troubles.
Frank
