Need Some Help Please!

[Jake&AdamsMommy]

Okay, this is my first post here and I have come here because I am in desperate need of intervention. I have several issues and I apologize in advance for the lengthy read but I really need some help.
I’m a well-educated person, and in the course of my secular education I have acquired a lot of doubts—probably better stated as fears—that God may not exist. I’m in an intellectual crisis of sorts mainly because I have recently read the horrific story of a little boy in the UK back in 1993 who was brutally murdered by two other children. I can’t understand this, why this stuff happens, etc. I just want to scream “Where was God in all of this, why did he let this happen to a sweet little two year old boy? How come no one intervened for him, lots of people could have.” As a mother of two young boys I am completely heartbroken—I have been dealing with this for several days, spending a great deal of time crying about it. I am scared that there may be no God and that the people who did this to him will get away with what they did—and worse that the baby died entirely in vain. Moreover, why would God allow such a terrible thing to happen to that baby, if God intervenes in this world why didn’t he move anyone to intercede for this baby so he wouldn’t die such a horrific death?
Despite my doubts, I am actually more inclined to believe in God than not. I have researched the science behind God and am convinced (for the most part) that current scientific theories are reaches at best: specifically questions remained unanswered as to what caused matter, what caused the big bang, (etc). So I can confidently say that I believe in intelligent design, therefore I believe in God, and I believe that (unless God isn’t real) that the only truth is Christianity. With that said something is not right between me and God, otherwise I wouldn’t have these fears about God not existing nor would I be a broken down person seething in anger and teetering on depression over what happened to a little British boy 19 years ago.
I’ve tried praying about this, reading my bible, listening to sermons, etc. At one point in my life, before I got married and had children, I had a strong relationship with God, or so I think—I prayed the sinner’s prayer and asked to be saved and my life did change and I felt close to God. But now I feel like he isn’t present in my life at all. I am not a bad person, but clearly something isn’t right. Before I married my husband I entered a period of “backsliddenness,” as my husband and I participated in marital activities before we got married, but I have since asked for forgiveness for that. I have been wondering if maybe God just doesn’t like me, I have prayed for him to help build my faith, to come back into my life and heart, to help me with the emotional distress I am feeling, and nothing has changed.
Please someone help me! I want to have a relationship with Jesus but it isn’t happening! What sorts of thing keep God away from someone when they are actively seeking Him?

 

[AbbysAunt]

Hi Jake&AdamsMommy,

Let me assure you that God does infact exsist and is very much alive and real. Your children are miracles given to you by God Himself. The fact that you yourself are alive is proof that God exisists. Human life just doesn't come from nowhere. In the bible we see that God forms each life in the secret place of the mother's womb...God Himself does this. He knows the days as though they are none before any of us are born and the plans He has for us. So as you see your children at play or sleeping or look at yourself in a mirror know that the miracle of your life comes from one and one only God in heaven. I am here because when noone else could God saved me from the pit I had gotten myself into and it's only by Him I am here and I've seen Him work miracles in my life and the lives of others around me. My niece was born with a heart defect and God by His love, grace and mercy brought her through her surgeries and she is now 9 going on 10 very healthy and very happy because God heard the prayers of her family and many others who were lifting her to Him. I see Him in every flower, tree, in the blue sky, the animals and their sounds... He is there in His creation of nature...yes there is a God and without Him I would not be alive and this is how I know there is a God. Because He tells me so in His written word and because I am still alive and here.

You ask where God was when this little boy died 19 years ago at the hands of others. He was right where He was when His own son died. You see He has given us each free will and with that the ability to decide how to use it. Unfortunately some decide to use it in a way to hurt or harm others but know this God didn't let this happen He does not want His children to suffer, but he will not force anyone to do things His way that is where the free will comes in..we the people who make the choices are responsible not God. Those that chose to harm that little boy and use their free will to do are the responsible ones not God. When God's own son Jesus died on the cross who was it that said " crusify Him?" it was the people and they went so far as to say " let His blood be on our heads and that of our children" Jesus Himself went willingly and let His body be broken and beaten and let His blood be shed so that we might all be saved, but why did he do this? It was because God knew that his creation of human life wasn't perfect that they were full of sin and without a sacrifice or without shedding of blood there was not going to be anyway to save them, so He sacrificed His own son so that we could be forgiven and reconciled to Him. By this gift we are saved Jesus died for our sins and because of Him we are now able to come to the throne of God boldly and Talk to Him. If anyone knows the heartache of losing a child and in a terrible horrible way it's God Himself and He feels the pain of every parent or family that has lost a child or loved one and though terrible things happen amongst those terrible things God's glory can be seen when a community comes together to help one another heal by praying for and helping out those have been hurt or the families that have lost loved ones. Though it may not seem like it God can take the horrible and make it into something beautiful. He doesn't cause the bad things but He is there to bring us through and to mend our hearts, minds and souls like no other can. You also fear those who did these terrible things will get away with it. In the end we must all face God and give account for ourselves and God says vengence is His and He will deal with it. Whether they pray and ask for forgiveness or don't is not something we control...God has it all under control let Him handle that because God has said He would in His word.

You wonder if God doesn't like you...the truth is He loves you and He loves with you a love that noone else can possibly love you with. As much love as we have on earth nothing compares to the love of Jesus for each of us. Our enemy satan would love for us to believe God doesn't love us but the fact is if He didn't love us then why send His son to die for us in our place so we could be saved. He does love you and does want to have the relationship with you that you said you want with him. You also asked what kind of things block God from someone when they are seeking Him...the truth to that is we block ourselves. Holding on to anger, and hurt from something that happened many years ago and can't be changed is a road block. You need to give your pain, tears, anger, hurt and frustration to Him and also give Him the doubts...we can't exactly build a relationship with God if we doubt Him or His exsistance all the time...you say you are more inclined to believe in God than not..then put your trust in Him fully and know that even though things happen that we don't understand that He remains unchanging, unshakable, He is God and He is in control. In the bible it says " lean not on your own understanding" Lean on God and don't let the enemy satan rob you of your joy and happiness instead know this and if you want say it out loud " there are things i don't understand and probably will never understand but I know that God is in control and is real and loves me and my family and I will stand on the promises and love He has given me".

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.

Psalm139:13-16 For you formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are your works, and that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they were all written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them.

I'm glad you are here jake&adamsmom and hope you will be as blessed by Talk Jesus and everyone here as I have been. If you ever want you can pm anytime at all. God bless you now and always and His blessings fill you and fall upon like rain from heaven.

AA

 

[Jake&AdamsMommy]

Thank you AA, I am taking a great deal of what you said to heart!

JakenAdamsMommy (Melanie)

 

[Christ4Ever]

Hey Melanie,
I feel for your uncertainty, and the pain that you feel for the loss of life, in particular this one boy. Sadly, this is something that is replicated over and over again throughout man's history. I don't think that I'd be way off mark to say that most Christians at one time or another, wonder why? Add whatever you want to it, be it the loss of a child, a mother, father, son, daughter, friend, or even any stranger or any situation that we are unable to comprehend when looking through the prism of imperfection at what we believe God should or should not be doing in relation to mankind in these instances of pain and horror. This confirms you’re a caring person, but it also means that there is more for you to learn about God (All of us are in the same boat). For us Death is the end all, be all, a constant companion for all who are born. Yet this is not so for God and because of Christ Jesus, it is not for us either. (Romans 5:12, Romans 6:23, 1 Corinthians 15:54-57)

However, there is no avoiding it. It's going to happen to each and every one of us. Yet believing or not believing in God on your part will not change a thing in regards to the loss of this little ones life. 1 Corinthians 15:21-22 [21] For since by man [came] death, by man [came] also the resurrection of the dead. [22] For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive.

This does not bring much comfort in knowing that it was man and not God who brought death into the world, but hopefully it will show you the reality of a just, righteous, and loving God that saw our pain, and through Christ Jesus, made a way to alleviate it. 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

This has also helped me in the past, when my knowledge of scripture and my walk with God less traveled.

Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

This is why reacquainting yourself with God and His Word at this time or at anytime (which means everyday), is so very important. Sounds like you had Him on the back burner so to speak in your life, and now that you're ready to start moving forward again, the attacks (Satan), all the "what ifs" start cropping up to give you pause and doubt. Can't change the past. Don't know what tomorrow may bring. Keep focused on today. God has blessed you with little treasures in your children. We only have a finite period of time with them. To love them, grow them up as God would want us to. Treasure these moments. Don't let the past rob you of the present. So keep them covered in prayer, and continue to love them.

As you will learn, as a believer is that death is not to be feared because we do have promises to hold on to. Revelation 21:4 [4] And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

Now that's a promise to hold on to little sister!!!!

You've come to a good site where brothers & sisters in Christ Jesus, will pray, fellowship, and help you grow as the Holy Spirit allows. Realize that this does not happen overnight. It will take time, prayers, tears, prayers, pain, prayers, sadness, prayers......notice to theme? You've shown that you've done some praying, so keep doing it. It's not pray once, or twice, or a hundred times, etc. Keep at it, until you can't see yourself going anywhere else but to Him for your help & guidance!!!! He will help and He will be there.

This is real tough, not only because you're educated either Trust in God. 2 Corinthians 1:9 But we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God which raiseth the dead:

I could go on and on and on. Wife tells me sometimes I don't know when to quit I will leave you with the knowledge that you have a brother in Christ Jesus praying for you and I'm sure other brothers & sisters as well. YOU'RE NOT ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YBIC
C4E

P.S. Here's a heavy book that might help put the Science part into perspective. An awesome read if I do say so myself; and I do say so The Long War Against God [Dr. Henry Morris]

My prayer for you Melanie and your family: Lord teach Melanie to trust in you in times of happiness and sorrow, during times of struggle and triumph. I thank You for your faithfulness to those who seek You. Please, Help this Child of yours not only today but always. Keeping her and her family covered as only you can do Father God. In Christ Jesus I ask this. Amen.

 

[Jake&AdamsMommy]

Thank you both for your encouraging responses. I have been doing a lot of reflecting and praying and I think I have come to understand what has been the barrier between myself and God.

 

[SpiritLedEd]

Despite my doubts, I am actually more inclined to believe in God than not. I have researched the science behind God and am convinced (for the most part) that current scientific theories are reaches at best: specifically questions remained unanswered as to what caused matter, what caused the big bang, (etc). So I can confidently say that I believe in intelligent design, therefore I believe in God, and I believe that (unless God isn’t real) that the only truth is Christianity. With that said something is not right between me and God,

I'm really glad you're here, Jake&Adamsmommy. Here's a book that I believe will help you to sort out your issues: God Forsaken by Dinesh D'Sousa. Mr. D'Sousa is president of The King's College in New York City and has written several New York Times Best Sellers on issues like the one you raised at the beginning of your post. In addition, I recommend that you explore the following website: Ask Questions about Life and God

Spirit Led Ed (SLE)

 

[AbbysAunt]

Hi Melanie,

Just wanted to see how you were doing and to let you know you remain in my prayers.

God bless

AA

 

[Jake&AdamsMommy]

AA,

I am doing much better, thank you! I have conceded that there is a lot I can't comprehend in this world but I am sure it is for good reason God keeps things from us.