One short story in my life.

[InTouch]

Sept 15, 2006

My walk through this life has come upon another mountain.
Once again I find myself completely alone, once again I have stumbled.
I feel as a child laying in the fetal position with my hands covering my face,
Afraid to face all that confronts me, in desperate need of a savior.
I cannot do what needs to be done by myself.
As I drift within myself I see only my silhouette,
floating in the midst of an endless river of thoughts.
A great burden of emptiness and helplessness has overtaken my being.
I stretch forth my hands and with eyes blinded by tears
I call out from the depths of the earth,” Why me Lord”.
Where is the promise of fullness?
Where is the promise of joy?
Why can I not take hold of this fleeting promise of happiness?
Where have I gone and what have I become?
This test of my faith has caused me to doubt you and all that is.
And my fruit is helplessness; I have become void of the strength to carry on.
My body is weak, I cannot eat, and sleep flees from me.

As with your servant Job, has my feeling of righteousness consumed me?
I say to myself it would have been better if I had never seen the light of this world.
I have become consumed by the darkness that has clouded my vision.
I am as they that looked upon the tree and were overcome by it,
I know better and yet I still fall to the weakness of my flesh.
Through all this confusion and doubt, something stirs deep inside of me,
Hope is the only weapon I have to fend off the darkness.
That tiny spark of hope so tiny and yet it can hold the darkness at bay.
It is the light that illuminates the path.

As I reach forth my hand to take hold of the light.
I hear in the distance someone calling out to me, beckoning me to come and rest.
I cry out “Who are you that call’s out to me?
You are not God but you are flesh like me.
How can you help me when I need a miracle from God?

And from deep inside a voice whispers to me saying “Out of helplessness a miracle has been given,
That another may provide for you, they are blessed, and were made for this time.
They come bearing the gifts of compassion and charity.
You who have never beheld the face of your creator, would you know him if he stood in front of you?
When you where hungry who fed you?
When you needed shelter who has provided for you?
When you were hurt who tended your wounds?
For when one falls it is another’s chance to rise them up, that they may walk again.
You were created to give without measure that which is given to you freely.
In this you are assured the Temple will have abundance in time of need.