my testimony
Hello... I don't know where to begin, but I'm happy now and the joy that overflows in me is so huge that I can't contain it...
my background....
Well I grew up a Christian girl and and I use to go to sunday services and I was in the sunday school kids thing (singing) and later joined the choir. I was a good person, so I call it because I never use to drink nor had a boyfriend even parting or clubbing. I was a home person. But one thing is before that I was't at all a Christian because I would play with my male friends play house_ mommy and daddy and we pretended to do everything as done at home, even sleep with the guy who is the daddy and you are the mom. I grew up in an abusive home where my mom was mostly abused by my father and sometimes we would sleep at other people's home and as I grew up sometimes I would go to my grandma's house and there I would get raped by my uncle (deceased now) and he will give me sweats and will do his job and no one new this even up to today...
But now the spirit of the Lord is within me and I am going to testify and well I don't mind what you are thinking about at this stage but let me tell you of how Jesus reached me in my sins...
During my high school years, a lot happened and there was this specific teacher who use to preach about being born again every morning before starting with class, and I thought well this is not my type of lifestyle and so got away with it but he always use to say statement to me that always used to convict me such as are you a Christian and I would say yes. He will then say doing that or dressed like that and I use to be convicted but I felt I can't be born again for the life is too hard!
Then in 2001, in one of the Deeper Life Bible Studies. I raised my hand to give my life to Christ and from there I became a child of God. The following months I started lusting at my friends lifestyle's and I wanted to be like them and I also wanted a boyfriend (I thought I was now mature enough to have a man in my life). So in the december holiday of the said year I had a boyfriend called Nelson and he was a good guy and our relationship was a mutual one (I mean no kissing and no sex, for I still thought I'm not strong enough to start such a life until I get over my childhood past). So in 2002 I left him and said I was going to concentrate in my life and what I will be in the near future. So in that year I did well, but I started being aggressive and one day I fought with a girl and the next day I went to write exams with my hands trembling all the time thinking of what my parents were going to say when they hear what I did! Well lucky enough no one knew and thus I finished my grade 12.
In 2003, I told myself I have a whole new life to live and so I started planning of how I will go clubbing and also have a boyfriend. So all went well, I went to the University of Namibia (UNAM) and I started drinking because I stayed with an uncle who drinks at home and always call you to join him when he drinks. For the first two weeks it was like this and then one sunday we decided to go to church with Cecilia, so we went to Potters House and the pastor's preaching was straight and I felt small in the eyes of Jesus but I stood up, went in front and received my salvation. Well ever since that day I had God in my life but one thing that was still bothering me was my flesh...everytime I'm at home I'd just want to go to Nelson's house (ex- boyfriend) and during the first week it started as a Bible Study and then the next weeks I didn't go with my Bible anymore and we could talk of anything and before long we started going out again, when I came back to Windhoek I would be convicted so big that I repented and told him it's over. But when I went back home I would just again want to go with him, I would teach him the Bible, tell him to repent and he would always say when he is ready he will do so. One day he did repent then he told me he had invited Jesus in his life but the lifestyle he had on showed me he didn't. So, he said since I don't believe him he will be what he wants to be... thus it happened like that. And we again started going out and then when I would be back in Church I would be convicted and the Holy Spirit will tell me it's not alright. Thus was my life at UNAM.
Before I left Namibia, I promised Nelson that I would marry him and he was also looking forward to it- our marriage despite our believes. And so I started working on my relationship with God, but now I always use to think of Nelson, the life we would have and the future. Little by little God's presence in my life was moving away. One day I was with Nelson in the holidays and the way he acted just showed me a different picture, he was moody always complaining and not happy that I was there with him. So in an instant God openned my eyes, I saw my future and how hard it will be living with this man and adding our believe will add alot of strain in it... I was so dissappointed yet, GOD was there with me, I told Him I had rebelled against His word of Christians not being equally yoked with unbelievers, I wanted God, I wanted his love, I wanted His touch in my life and I never wanted to go against God. My future became dim, I always had my way but this time it looked so impossible, I asked God who will ever love me so much, who will ever want to marry me after all I'm not good enough and my past, there are days I thought about it and how I was going to tell the world my testimony for the Lord said I should testify of His goodness. It was in such a time that God broke through my life as I searched for the truth in my life. He remained faithfull to me despite what I had done, I repented and asked God to cleanse me again and make me whole. He did and cleansed me and more to it, He held me in His arms, when I would be depressed, the Lord would feel me with His peace and lift my spirit up, when I would feel alone he would remind me that He is there with me ALWAYS. When I would feel like giving up, he would lift me up higher and when I would feel like dying He would remind me that He have a purpose that He have to finish before I go to Him and be with Him.
I admit what I did, but today I'm HAPPY TO SAY THAT I HAVE BEEN DELIVERED FROM THE POWER OF THE ONE WHO RULES THE EARTH [Satan, the devil], I HAVE BEEN DELIVERED FROM MY FLESH, I HAVE BEEN DELIVERED FROM BEING A PEOPLE'S PLEASER AND GOD HAS MIRACULOUSLY CHANGED MY LIFE TO SUCH AN EXTEND OF BEING ABLE TO FORGIVE MY PARENTS, FORGIVE MY LATE UNCLE AND FORGIVE MY SELF. HE HAS PUT A CALLING IN MY LIFE... TO GO OUT AND PREACH THE GOSPEL OF GOD TO ALL NATIONS, TODAY I BELIEVE GOD IS USING THIS TESTIMONY TO BRING SOMEONE TO CHRIST. FOR ONE THING GOD IS NOT INTERESTED IN OUR PASTS, HE IS INTERESTED IN THE NOW, HE HAS HEALED ME AND I BELIEVE GOD WILL DO MANY MORE MIRACLES IN MY LIFE. MY FUTURE IS SECURE, FOR HE KNOWS THE BEST FOR ME AND HE IS THUS PREPARING ME TO THE LIFE THAT'S COMING. I'M NOW SERVING GOD AT DEEPER LIFE BIBLE CHURCH AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH THE TRUTH OF GOD IN MY LIFE, I'M BLESSED WITH GODLY PEOPLE.
OBEYING GOD MATTERS THE MOST, FOR WE ARE HERE BUT FOR A WHILE AND WHAT YOU DO NOW WILL DETERMINE WHAT YOU WILL BE IN FUTURE. I'M NOW SERVING THE LORD WITH ALL MY HEART, SOUL AND BODY AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH SUCH A FATHER WHO LOVES ME SO DEARLY... JUST IMAGINE I'M THE APPLE OF HIS EYES. WITH GOD IN MY LIFE I CAN DO ALL THINGS (PHiL 4:13) THIS INCLUDES DAILY OVERCOMING THE FRESH. I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH BUT JESUS IS THE CURE AND HE WILL USE THE MOST SHAMEFUL THINGS IN YOUR LIFE TO BRING GLORY AND EXALTATION OF HIS NAME. LOOK UP TO JESUS, HE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN BE EVERYTHING TO YOU!!! MAY GOD BLESS YOU AS YOU SUBMIT TO HIM, I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO HEAVEN, HOPE YOU'RE ALSO ON THE ROAD TO HEAVEN, IF NOT IT'S STILL NOT LATE WHILE YOU ARE ON EARTH, JUST CALL UPON HIS NAME AND CONFESS YOUR SINS TO HIM AND HE WILL COME AND CLEANSE YOU, STOP BEING ALL SPIRITUAL (that you don't sin) WE ARE LIVING IN THE WORLD BUT WE AREN'T OF THE WORLD AND THUS IF YOU REPENT, YOU WILL FIND GRACE AT THE THRONE OF GOD.
MAY GOD BLESS ALL WHO HAVE READ MY TESTIMONY, I HOPE GOD WILL ALSO CHANGE YOU TO BE MORE LIKE HIM... I LOVE YOU ALL, WITH THE LOVE THAT GOD HAS PLANTED IN MY HEART. SEE YOU IN HEAVEN.
joyous
