Out Of The Mouth Of Babes

[Gloria]

Johnny’s mother asked what he had learned in Sunday School.

"Teacher told us how God sent Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egypt.
When he got to the Red Sea he build a bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he used his walkie-talkie to call for help.. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and saved the Israelites."

" Johnny, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked.

"Well, no,, but if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!!"

 

[Gloria]

........Children Write to God.....

Dear GOD: Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't you just keep the ones You have?

Dear GOD: Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother. -Larry

Dear GOD: In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation? -Jane

Dear GOD: I read the Bible. What does "begat" mean? Nobody will tell me. -Love, Alison

Dear GOD: Are You really invisible or is it just a trick? -Lucy

Dear GOD: Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house? -Anita

Dear GOD: Did You mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? -Norma

Dear GOD: Who draws the lines around the countries? -Nan

Dear GOD: I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay? -Neil

Dear GOD: Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy. -Joyce


Dear GOD: I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big but not with so much hair all over. -Sam


Dear GOD: Of all the people who work for You I like Noah and David the best.> >-Rob

Dear GOD: My brother told me about being born but it doesn't sound right. They're just kidding, aren't they? -Marsha

Dear GOD: I would like to live 900 years like the guy in the Bible. -Love, Chris

Dear GOD: We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday school they said You did it. So I bet he stole your idea. -Sincerely, Donna

 

[Mike]

They were great ! Thanks Gloria . Children do see better then us at times . :boy_hug: Mike

 

[jiggyfly]

Good post, laughter really is a good medicine, thanks.

 

[Gloria]

Would you like to share something funny your child said or did ? Or a good clean joke about the funny things kids say?

 

[TDS52]

Once a little boy was taken to church for the first time. Later that day, he visited his grandparents. They were asking him questions about the things that had been going on in his life lately. He began telling them about his day at church. He told about the singing, the praying, and the things the pastor had said. Then his grandmother asked him if he had been good in church. "Oh yes ma'am...they offered me a big plate of money and I said, No, thank you!!!"

 

[Gloria]

Hi -

LOL - thanks for posting that - thats cute!!!

 

[Chad]

Thanks for sharing. Good to have a laugh at the end of the day

 

[Gloria]

Thanks for sharing. Good to have a laugh at the end of the day

Hey Chad

Proverbs 17:22
A merry heart doeth good like a medicine

It s been medically proven that laughter can heal you !!! So laugh laugh laugh!!

Psalm 126
1When the LORD turned again the captivity of Zion, we were like them that dream.

2Then was our mouth filled with laughter, and our tongue with singing: then said they among the heathen, The LORD hath done great things for them.

3The LORD hath done great things for us; whereof we are glad

 

[God_is_my_life]

that was funny gloria

 

[Gloria]

Words of wisdom from real children :


1. Never trust a dog to watch your food. - Patrick, age 10 late:

2. When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't

answer him. - Michael, 14

3. Never try to baptize a cat. - Eileen, 8 mg:

4. When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when

she's on the phone. - Alyesha, 13

5. Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat.

- Joel, 10 :girl:

6. When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your

hair. - Taylia, 11

7. Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as

your school assignment. - Traci, 14 :boy:

8. Don't sneeze in front of mom when you're eating crackers.

- Mitchell, 12

9. Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.

- Andrew, 9 :dog:

10. Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time. - Kyoyo, 9

11. If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse. :cat:

- Naomi, 15

12. Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick. - Lauren, 9 :kiss2:

_____ rolf

 

[Chad]

Kid jokes are best. I love them

Thanks for sharing Gloria

 

[Coconut]

The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained how Elijah built the altar, put wood upon it, cut the steer in pieces, and laid it upon the altar.

And then, Elijah commanded the people of God to fill four barrels of water and pour it over the altar. He had them do this four times.
"Now," said the teacher, "can anyone in the class tell me why the Lord would have Elijah pour water over the steer on the altar?"

A little girl in the back of the room started waving her hand, "I know, I know," she said, "to make the gravy!"

 

[Coconut]

A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?"
"No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms."

 

[Coconut]

A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead. She described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the drama.
Then, she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up."


LOL! Now that`s honesty!

 

[Gloria]

A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?"
"No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms."

Hey Coconut

Now Thats funny!!! Rofl !!!

 

[DeeplyChanged]

Love the humor some of it is soooo true....btw did they pour the water to make the gravy????LOL Keep posting I love to come here for a smile.

 

[Mike]

Thanks for the laughs ! I enjoyed them very much . Mike

 

[jesuschick]

That was so grate, Gloria you are the best! LOLOLOLOLOL

 

[Gloria]

A mother asked her small son what he would like for his birthday. "I'd like
a little brother," the boy said.

"Oh my, that's such a big wish," said the mother. "Why do you want a little
brother?"

"Well," said the boy, "there's only so much I can blame on the dog."