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Pray First, Then Google - June 28, 2006
When something bad happens these days, where do you turn?
One mother had posted this a message at the end of her e-mail, "Pray first, then Google." Indeed, whenever I hear about a friend or relative with a disease or condition, frequently I do a quick search on Google so I learn something about it.
How do our children see us living our faith? This mother had her priorities right. In contrast, sometimes we unwittingly communicate impressions to our children that undermine our beliefs. Like what does it say to them when we don't personally take them to church or religious services, but have someone else do it? Or just Mom takes them? Or when we clean up our language only when the pastor, reverend or rabbi comes around?
Sometimes our kids' statements about faith or God make us stop and look at exactly what we have taught or conveyed in our attitudes, behaviors and speech.
Dorcas Bixler of Orrville, Ohio, sent this story recently. "Many years ago when our large congregation put out a new pictorial directory, one of the first pictures that our two- or three-year-old son saw was the pastor's picture. "Look," he said, "there's God." Dorcas reflected, "What an interesting, eye-opening statement." The child was very serious.
On the one hand, it probably reflected the child's reverence, awe and respect for both God and for clergy. I'm sure the parents never intentionally conveyed that idea. While a parent in this situation might want to make sure the child knows the difference between God and the pastor, at least they have taught him reverence and respect.
Lisa Engelhardt, in the booklet "Talking With Your Kids About God and Faith" (Abbey Press), said that one night her five-year-old daughter asked as they were saying their bedtime prayers, "What good does it do to pray anyway? Aren't we all just in God's video game?"
"What gave you that idea?" Lisa asked.
"Well, you know how the song goes. 'He's got the whole world in his hands'" she responded.
Lisa writes, "A song + Gameboy + a five-year-old imagination added up to a God who yanks us around in the game of life with a giant joystick: pushing our buttons, making us jump, all according to divine whim. This was not the image of God I wanted to convey to my kids!"
Lisa goes on to remind parents that children come readymade to wonder about God, about why they are here, how they came to be, and will respond naturally to whatever religious/spiritual environment they grow up in. Sometimes parents worry they will not know the answers to their child's faith questions, or that they will "mess up" when talking about things they may not fully understand themselves. But this shouldn't be too big of a worry. She says that each of us are born "with a divine spark within, a kind of spiritual 'homing device' that calls [a child] and leads him/her on a lifelong journey to the Sacred."
As parents, as we nurture and teach children about love, God, and caring for others, we will create an environment where they learn quite naturally about spiritual matters. That doesn't take the place of specific teaching of stories, values, and truths; we should make sure they learn the stories of our tradition and even memorize the scriptures. Too often today's kids are woefully ignorant of basic biblical literacy, for one example. As they see us praying, they will see the importance of prayer in our lives and learn how to do it for themselves.
So yes, Google if that is what you do, but don't forget to pray, and to be open to whatever conversations about God your children bring up. Living our faith is still one of the best ways to teach our faith.
Contributed by Melodie Davis: MelodieD@MennoMedia.org Melodie is the author of eight books and writes a syndicated newspaper column, Another Way
When something bad happens these days, where do you turn?
One mother had posted this a message at the end of her e-mail, "Pray first, then Google." Indeed, whenever I hear about a friend or relative with a disease or condition, frequently I do a quick search on Google so I learn something about it.
How do our children see us living our faith? This mother had her priorities right. In contrast, sometimes we unwittingly communicate impressions to our children that undermine our beliefs. Like what does it say to them when we don't personally take them to church or religious services, but have someone else do it? Or just Mom takes them? Or when we clean up our language only when the pastor, reverend or rabbi comes around?
Sometimes our kids' statements about faith or God make us stop and look at exactly what we have taught or conveyed in our attitudes, behaviors and speech.
Dorcas Bixler of Orrville, Ohio, sent this story recently. "Many years ago when our large congregation put out a new pictorial directory, one of the first pictures that our two- or three-year-old son saw was the pastor's picture. "Look," he said, "there's God." Dorcas reflected, "What an interesting, eye-opening statement." The child was very serious.
On the one hand, it probably reflected the child's reverence, awe and respect for both God and for clergy. I'm sure the parents never intentionally conveyed that idea. While a parent in this situation might want to make sure the child knows the difference between God and the pastor, at least they have taught him reverence and respect.
Lisa Engelhardt, in the booklet "Talking With Your Kids About God and Faith" (Abbey Press), said that one night her five-year-old daughter asked as they were saying their bedtime prayers, "What good does it do to pray anyway? Aren't we all just in God's video game?"
"What gave you that idea?" Lisa asked.
"Well, you know how the song goes. 'He's got the whole world in his hands'" she responded.
Lisa writes, "A song + Gameboy + a five-year-old imagination added up to a God who yanks us around in the game of life with a giant joystick: pushing our buttons, making us jump, all according to divine whim. This was not the image of God I wanted to convey to my kids!"
Lisa goes on to remind parents that children come readymade to wonder about God, about why they are here, how they came to be, and will respond naturally to whatever religious/spiritual environment they grow up in. Sometimes parents worry they will not know the answers to their child's faith questions, or that they will "mess up" when talking about things they may not fully understand themselves. But this shouldn't be too big of a worry. She says that each of us are born "with a divine spark within, a kind of spiritual 'homing device' that calls [a child] and leads him/her on a lifelong journey to the Sacred."
As parents, as we nurture and teach children about love, God, and caring for others, we will create an environment where they learn quite naturally about spiritual matters. That doesn't take the place of specific teaching of stories, values, and truths; we should make sure they learn the stories of our tradition and even memorize the scriptures. Too often today's kids are woefully ignorant of basic biblical literacy, for one example. As they see us praying, they will see the importance of prayer in our lives and learn how to do it for themselves.
So yes, Google if that is what you do, but don't forget to pray, and to be open to whatever conversations about God your children bring up. Living our faith is still one of the best ways to teach our faith.
Contributed by Melodie Davis: MelodieD@MennoMedia.org Melodie is the author of eight books and writes a syndicated newspaper column, Another Way
