jemimaminto
Member
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2020
- Messages
- 1
I broke up with my boyfriend of 8 months after fighting with God for a week... He told me that it needed to end due to issues with premarital relations, being unequally yoked, and emotional immaturity. I’m confident that at this point in time, God doesn’t want us to be together.
When we met, my ex wasn’t a Christian. God told me that I should speak His word into my ex’s life, and I did. But because I really liked my ex and at the time, felt like I had met such a unique and genuine person (like a God feeling), I was so scared that he wouldn’t be as devoted to God as I was and I took on a “mentor“ role. The problem is, when we got together, that didn’t change. I felt like if I wasn’t breathing down my ex’s neck 90% of the time and making sure he had a relationship with God, then his relationship with God would be nonexistent.
My ex and I started to watch sermons later on in our relationship on marriage and premarital relations, however, the definition of what qualifies as marriage quickly got distorted for me. I’m not sure whether the sermon said that sex qualifies as marriage or the enemy was speaking through the pastor to distort it for me, but I soon became under the impression that if my partner and I had sex, we’d be married, and we wanted to be married. So we did it.
But then we reaped the repercussions. After that, it all started going downhill. It wasn’t until the week before we broke up that God finally got through to me and revealed to me what an unhealthy relationship dynamic that my ex and I had. We became codependent as we had no Christian support networks as surrounding us, we weren’t making God the centre of our relationship, my ex was suffocating because I was essentially being his “parent” and as they say, “kids grow up eventually”, and as a result wanted even less to do with God cause he felt like no matter how close to God he got, it wouldn’t be good enough. He told me that I had been deceived and that I shouldn’t have had sex with my ex — what we were doing was really wrong. Nothing we did for each other was ever good enough, we were always unhappy and missing something. It’s like we were trying to fill a void that could never be filled.
so, after I came to this realisation, I broke up with him, and as soon as I did, both of our individual relationships with God grew heck of a lot stronger. We repented of our sexual sins and broke our soul ties. We have agreed to work on ourselves and fall in love with Jesus rather than fall in love with each other at this point in time.
But when I pray to God about if I should move on from my ex, all He says is “wait and focus on me”. He wants me to put this matter away for a period of time and trust Him.
I’m unsure, scared, and I don’t really know. I want to marry this man if God wants that for us. I’ve heard stories of couples like us breaking up and coming back together and marrying shortly after. I know what I want if I see improvement in both of ourselves, but ultimately what matters is if God wants us married.
I know this is long but I was wondering if you guys could pray for our situation, whether he and I are meant to marry one day or just prayer for the situation to work itself out in general.
When we met, my ex wasn’t a Christian. God told me that I should speak His word into my ex’s life, and I did. But because I really liked my ex and at the time, felt like I had met such a unique and genuine person (like a God feeling), I was so scared that he wouldn’t be as devoted to God as I was and I took on a “mentor“ role. The problem is, when we got together, that didn’t change. I felt like if I wasn’t breathing down my ex’s neck 90% of the time and making sure he had a relationship with God, then his relationship with God would be nonexistent.
My ex and I started to watch sermons later on in our relationship on marriage and premarital relations, however, the definition of what qualifies as marriage quickly got distorted for me. I’m not sure whether the sermon said that sex qualifies as marriage or the enemy was speaking through the pastor to distort it for me, but I soon became under the impression that if my partner and I had sex, we’d be married, and we wanted to be married. So we did it.
But then we reaped the repercussions. After that, it all started going downhill. It wasn’t until the week before we broke up that God finally got through to me and revealed to me what an unhealthy relationship dynamic that my ex and I had. We became codependent as we had no Christian support networks as surrounding us, we weren’t making God the centre of our relationship, my ex was suffocating because I was essentially being his “parent” and as they say, “kids grow up eventually”, and as a result wanted even less to do with God cause he felt like no matter how close to God he got, it wouldn’t be good enough. He told me that I had been deceived and that I shouldn’t have had sex with my ex — what we were doing was really wrong. Nothing we did for each other was ever good enough, we were always unhappy and missing something. It’s like we were trying to fill a void that could never be filled.
so, after I came to this realisation, I broke up with him, and as soon as I did, both of our individual relationships with God grew heck of a lot stronger. We repented of our sexual sins and broke our soul ties. We have agreed to work on ourselves and fall in love with Jesus rather than fall in love with each other at this point in time.
But when I pray to God about if I should move on from my ex, all He says is “wait and focus on me”. He wants me to put this matter away for a period of time and trust Him.
I’m unsure, scared, and I don’t really know. I want to marry this man if God wants that for us. I’ve heard stories of couples like us breaking up and coming back together and marrying shortly after. I know what I want if I see improvement in both of ourselves, but ultimately what matters is if God wants us married.
I know this is long but I was wondering if you guys could pray for our situation, whether he and I are meant to marry one day or just prayer for the situation to work itself out in general.
